Best of luck Helen - we’re all right with you, circling the wagon and keeping the baddies busy. How are you feeling?
All the best Helen. I’ll have one waiting on the bar for your return. In the meantime don’t worry about the baddies we’ll fend them off. You just relax take it easy and get home soon. (((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))
Thanks girls…I feel easier about it than my first op…guess I know whats happening…I’m sure they’ll get ‘it’ all this time…thanks for the good vibes and wishes…I can feel em working already!!!
Going for a shower and early night…gonna make sure I get up before 7.30, so i can have something to eat and drink!!!
Catch you all in a few days!!
Helen x
Ride well Yorkie, keep your heels down, sit low in the saddle, and keep an eye out for your buddies on horse tracking you all the way. You’ll breeze through. 
Just dropping in quickly. Was out tonight at a local drama production. It was really fun. Hopefully I’ll get to actually be in it next year, and not forced to pull out 'cos of dratted chemo! Got an excellent nurse today - love the NHS. Actually feel like I might sleep despite the steroids. So that’s what I’m going to head off and have a shot at.
Night all. Sleep well, sleep warm, sleep with your heart light and your face towards tomorrow.
Helen - thinking of you today, like Carole says keep your head down, we’re covering you…mary x
Well the day has arrived. Day 15 and my hair is departing at a rate of knots. It started falling out at work, been brushing hair off the desk all day and if I pull it then it’s coming out in clumps. I’m going to try not to pull it, but it’s itchy. I don’t know how long it’s going to last but I’m guessing not long although at the moment it still looks ok just feels a bit thinner.
Not sure I’m ready for this. *lower lip wobbles*
oohhh gennie…(((hug))) its day 8 for me but I’m starting to dread it now - my daughter is really twitched bless her and I think its rubbing off - off to hopefully find a good wig from suppliers of the hospt which is in Bromsgrove so a bit of a trek and day out tomorrow…just hope I get sorted as I think that would help her. have our usual friend hairdresser coming to the house next mon to do oh and son and daughter is going to have lo-lights as a treat - she’s never had her hair coloured before and its nearly her 16th bitrthday so a bit of a treat - meanwhile mum will be getting a close shave ready for the wig…mary x
Mary why Bromsgrove?I had my fitting at the Harmer Centre at RSH and bought my second one at a shop in Shrewsbury!It is a shock when your hair goes as for me it all went at once.One day I had quite a lot and a tingly scalp,next day I washed it and almost all of it came out.I hadnt washed it for a few days because my then 7yr old granddaughter was staying and I wanted to keep it till she went home.As soon as they went home I showered and…oops a grandma egg.
Val - I went to the Hamar after telling the woman on the phone about my hair etc and she had 2 for me to try!! Suggested I went to the shop as they’d have a lot more to try etc…just wanted more of a chioce as my hair is fine and very short…she wasn’t that helpful at all really, but she took my wig letter for free wig, I rang the shop in shrewsbury and the woman said to pop in and see them but they have to order 3 at a time in for you…thought I’ll see how I get on tomorrow first!!The woman at Hamar is from the bromsgrove shop… Mary x
ps are you feeling a bit better re the tummy and hows the leg??
Gennie, I’m really thinking of you - it must be so hard losing the hair. My daughter told me last week that if I had needed chemo, she was going to shave her head for charity as an act of solidarity. How great is that? She says she may do it anyway if she can raise enough money. I told her not to do it yet - too cold.
In the support group yesterday, the lady who runs it said that if you’re having a bad day, just dive under the duvet and let it happen. I’m not sure if that’s the right idea for me and if you’ve got young children like you have, you can’t do it anyway. I don’t feel comfortable embracing my bad feelings - I think I’d rather chase them off!!
Good luck with the wigs Mary. All this talk of everyone losing their hair is making me feel guilty, but very, very thankful all the same.
I went to the onc today and I’ve got the tamoxifen. First dose down and it sort of feels good - as if I’m actively doing something, rather than just sitting around. She said they excluded chemo because it would only increase my chances by 2 and a half% and they think the risks outweigh the benefits unless it’s at least 3%. So at least that’s clear in my head. Incidentally, going back to what we were talking about a couple of days ago, she said that the chances of someone dying of something else in the next 10 years is about 3%, so that answers that one. Anyone has only a 97% chance of surviving 10 years. I had to have a blood test to get a base reading to see where I am with regard to the menopause. They’ll test again in 2 years and if I’m menopausal by then they’ll switch me to aromatase inhibitors, which work best for menopausal women.
I’m glad you had a better nurse this time Carole. You’re right, when things go well, you feel so grateful we’ve got the NHS. Got a letter from physio today and I’m going Thursday next week. Although, having said that, shoulder is definitely improving over the last couple of days. So Carole,you’re a budding thesp then are you? It’s all coming out gradually…
Wa hey!! Just had an email back from my yoga teacher. I can go back to classes next week:D That feels so good. It’s nice to think I’ll be doing something normal. I might even try a little run tomorrow when OH isn’t here - if I tell him I’m going to do it, he’ll try and talk me out of it (not that he ever succeeds in talking me out of anything lol).
Hey Gen, here’s a shoulder and an arm round yours.
Obviously we don’t know how long yours will take to come out to where it’s just not worth pretending any more, but by this time tomorrow when it was me, that’s when I took the scissors to it. Actually I wish I’d made a better job of it, 'cos I could have got about 3 days wear out of the short version before I had to stick a scarf on. So there’s a wee tip. It’s really easy to cut it yourself, just hack away, any old way, but keep it about as near to 2 inches all over as you can. It actually looks better than you think.
I took the scissors into the bathroom, got into the shower and let the shower wash away a few tears while talking out loud to myself that I just had to be tough, the time had come, and it wasn’t going to go away. Took a few deep breaths, pulled out some more hair, then got out of the shower and took the first chop towards the back. Actually, there’s a hell of lot more hair than you think there is, so this takes a bit longer that you anticipate. Keep at it kiddo, 'cos once it’s done you really do feel better. It’s about taking control of a process that right this minute you feel powerless about.
Then over the next few days it’ll be up to you when you decide to cut it right down. Eventually you’ll hate looking at it more than you hate the idea of just taking it off. I tried the 100 year old man look for a bit (scarved of course), then realised that I wouldn’t know when it had started to grow back if I didn’t take it down to a stubble.
Big thing to remember, this is only a few weeks (didn’t you tell me that just about 4 weeks ago, 
). On the CMF it’ll start to grow back, the nurses keep telling me that. Right now, I still have stubble, the 100 year old man amount, but it’s there. I also still have eyebrows and eyelashes. I think they’re a bit thinner, but I’m not sure I’m going to lose them so that it’s an issue. Famous last words!
Pop another cork, and toast this as one of those moments in life that will make you stronger. It will. I even got a hug from my cute vet today who clocked what the scarf meant. That was bonus!
Excellent news Sal! And good on your daughter too! If she can’t face losing the hair she could always do the Race for Life this summer instead and raise money that way. What a lovely thing to suggest though. My brother has said he will shave his head when mine goes in solidarity.
Jez has bought me chocolates and champagne to make this a nice day instead of a nasty one. Bless.
So far it’s not looking like it will drop in one go - looks like I’m going for a gradual shedding over a couple of days or so. It still looks ok in the mirror but then I run my hands through it and…eek loads of hair in my fingers!!
Good news on the tamoxifen too. Let us know any survival tips for that, there’s a few of us going to be needing those in a few months time!
I’m a bit of a thesp myself on the quiet. Well, I was. Did years and years with a local AmDram sociey when I was younger, was in all sorts of plays and pantos etc. I loved it and keep meaning to get back into it one of these days.
I’m with you Sal, on the bad feelings thing. Why embrace a deep doodoo of a mood! OH loves rolling around in the murk, but I’m not at all comfortable with that. Chase it off, totally agree.
Excellent news on the Tam. Might as well get it started. And no need to feel guilty about keeping your hair. How daft is that! You’re about to get even more hot flushes and night sweats. Do you see us feeling guilty? 
Ahem, yes, took to stepping the boards (or whatever that expression is) last autumn, although that came to a grinding halt in January! Lol. Can’t sing, can’t act, but what the heck, I can always hold the scenery up. Auditions in September again, which is perfect timing for end of chemo and rad. What Ho, Vicar! Psssst, don’t tell Steel…
Good news on the yoga too, and remember to tape your boob down well for your run tomorrow. No point in going through this and ending up with one hanging to your knee!
Good tips there Carole. I did tell you to remind me about my wise words of advice when my own day came and oh here it is already!! So you’re not Jade Goodey bald then even now? You’re right about there being a surprising amount of hair - I don’t look any different yet although loads has come out. At least this means the chemo is working - I was starting to wonder, I’ve felt so well these last few days. If it’s doing that to my hair I’ve just got to keep telling myself it’s doing bad things to any nasties lurking here too.
I have a tension headache. Had it most of the day, one of those that painkillers don’t quite squash. Had them looooooooads of times before, they are my speciality. However, now it’s brain mets isn’t it? Oh yes, Gennie, that’s the most likely cause isn’t it? Not that you’re a bit stressed about the hair thang at all. Duh.
Tomorrow I shall go hunting for a cute vet. There have to be some compensations to looking like a Roswell alien!!
What shows did you do? I was doing the King and I, although I think that might have been a tad adventurous of a choice by whatever committee decided it. 
Wonder if we get a say in next year’s choice. I want to do Mamma Mia!
I’m with you both on chasing the clouds away. My OH is a wallower too. I just make myself feel worse if I indulge it. Much better to get out in the fresh air with the dog, look at the beautiful place I live in and count some blessings. I find no pleasure in gloom at all.
Actually that headache could be the hair. I had a headache for about a week that pills couldn’t shift. After the bulk of the hair came out it disappeared overnight. I wondered about the chemo working too, just before the hair started dropping.
Well to all intents and purposes I look like Jade, but 'cos the hair that was left before I shaved it was very fair to white (that’s very difficult to do by the way, it refuses to come off with a razor, hence my stubble) there’s no stubble shadow. And I think I said, but bald I look my brother, so no way do I go around bald… Erk.
Ditto on the dog walking. Nothing beats it, although Pooch Number 1 had to have a little med procedure today, so poor poochy is a bit limpy tonight and resting up.
Oh I did lots. We did 3 shows a year and I was with them for about 15 years. We mostly did plays but sometimes did a panto at Christmas. We were more drama than singing & dancing.
I was the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz, Cassandra in I Capture the Castle (now THAT was a challenge, I was onstage and talking the whole time - thank God for a photographic memory!!), we did a few Aykbourns, loads of murder mystery type things…oooh loads. Been a long time now though but I did love it.