Strange thing to say!!!

Sorry ladies! Need a moan! I’ve just been to Maggie’s Centre which all in all was a good visit as I’ve signed up to ‘Look good feel better’ and found out about other classes such as yoga and Tai chi! The lady was helping me choose my free hat and was lovely but then decided to mention that when she was going through chemo for BC it felt like she had been poisoned…and now it’s come back!!! As a volunteer surely there’s a more sensitive way to put it? It was 14 years ago so I’m trying to convince myself that treatment is a lot easier since then, otherwise I’m going to really panic b4 my first chemo on 4th Sept:(



Sorry to hear about your experience.


I had a totally different viewpoint from my oncologist. He didn’t deny that chemo could be difficult, but he told me I shouldn’t feel so unwell that I couldn’t manage most of my daily activities, albeit they may be restricted at times. He said to let the team know if I had problems, e.g not eating, nausea etc as usually they can find a way of helping to minimise this. It made me feel more positive that I would be able to cope with it. 


Rhona xx

Hi Rhona
Yes, that’s what my onc said and nurses and nearly everyone else so I was shocked when she said that! If she was talking to someone who is very worried I m not sure how they would have taken it!
It’s just lingering in my mind now! It will pass and I’m convincing myself that it was 14 years ago and things have moved on. Regards to it coming back…well non of us can guarantee that and that’s why we are having this treatment…as a prevention and

Just ignore it CK, people do say the most thoughtless things although you’d think she would know better. 

She may well have not been here today to make that comment if she hadn’t had chemo!

Treatment has come on so much now & is much better targeted.  

Somewhat annoying though!

ann x



Hi Anne-m
It’s still in my mind what she said as I was so shocked! I feel for her that it’s come back but 5hen if she’s not in the right frame of mind she shouldn’t be volunteering until she’s better in herself!
We are meant to feel better by going to these places which I did apart from that but I can’t get what she said out of my head:(

My BCN, who was great in every othwr way, told me that chemo was brutal. My experience was not that at all and nowhere near as horrific as I feared. As well as less harsh regimes these days the drugs you are given to ease the SEs are better too.

Ruth xx



Hope you are feeling better about this soon. I’ve only recently started to post on here, but I can see how lovely and supportive people are here and that really helps. The advice you were given by the health care professionals looking after you will be the most accurate. Sometimes it’s easier to bring to mind unpleasant information people may say, but that doesn’t mean it is correct.


Take care


Rhona xx


Evening All


Sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience CK. I don’t think any of us are under any illusions about chemo being a stroll in the park but I don’t think there’s any point in that woman comparing her chemo experience with now. I think 14 years is light years in breast cancer treatment advances. Sounds like she’s (understandably) in a bad place if her cancer has returned. I think it’s worth mentioning to the Centre - I’m sure she means well but I think her contribution right now will probably be doing more harm than good… xx

Hi all
Yes, I am considering it talking to someone at the centre but then I might feel bad as she didn’t intend to upset me and would feel uncomfortable when I next saw her and it’s been said now!. If she hadn’t and wasn’t in the same position I wouldn’t need to think twice, yet if she said what she said to a faint hearted soul then the consequences could have been worse. Technically I should mention to centre to avoid her saying the same to anyone else. I couldn’t imagine any of our CCs saying such

Sorry you had a bad experience.  I’m sure the lady would be mortified to know she’d caused you such distress.  I can guarentee you that treatment for side effects of chemo have improved over the last 14 years.  Can I also point out a teeny little positive in all this … she’s still going strong 14 years on from it all! That’s defo a positive.

Michele xxx

Hi CK,


That was a very insensitive comment for her to make, it does sound like she is perhaps struggling with her own emotions at the moment.


I didn’t have chemo myself, but if I was going to have it I would have been very encouraged by the comments from the majority of ladies who post on here as most of them do say that whilst it’s not the easiest thing to deal with, it’s not nearly as bad as they thought it would be and is very doable.  Treatments advance so quickly for breast cancer and 14 years is a huge amount of time for the chemo drugs to be improved and side effects minimised.


I wish you all the best as you start your treatment.  


Michelle xx

You know, I can understand CK feeling upset and shocked at what the lady said, but just imagine how she must be feeling, having gone through all this and now having it again.  We have our treatments in place, but depending on where and how hers has returned, she will be just as scared as we were a few short weeks ago.  CK, I think you should reach out.  You have us to comfort you.  She might not.  Sorry - I hope I haven’t offended anyone.

Maybe she just wants blue nipples ha ha x

Jazz welcome Hun and hopefully you won’t ‘need’ to be here but of course pop in and chat to us for most of us this is the new Facebook xx

Read jazz as Kazz lol autocorrect again !

Keep us informed Kate we like to know how each other is doing and sometimes we get confused and repeat ourselves on different posts and lose track of what’s happening when but but hey ho it is what it is and no judging just outpouring of support from everyone x

I would have found it hard not to punch the heart foundation lady on the nose ?!!"??

So I am going to share a positive story approx 25 years ago my moms best friend was diagnosed with bc she had a double mastectomy and she went on holiday with my mom for recuperating purposes she went with ‘falsies’ in her bra and her head held high. She went into a bar where there was a rich man known for being tight with his money so she bet my mom and the rest of the bar she could get him to buy her a drink. She approached said man and said if you buy me a vodka you can feel my t!ts he obliged eagerly and bought her a drink. She then put her hands in her bra and pulled out her falsies and put them on the table for him to feel of course the place was in uproar but she calmly picked them up put them back in her bra and downed the vodka in one. Moving on from that she had reconstruction surgery but had no nipples so she showed everyone she knew her Barbie boobs so that became her name for the next 2 years until she had nipple tattoos. This lady is now 75 years old and has been cancer clear for over 20 years she is one of the funniest bravest ladies I know and a shining example of how things can be tiugh but with a sense of humour and a positive attitude anything is possible xx

Sue, thanks so much for sharing that, she’s one cool lady!!!

Love it!!!