Yeah, I’m lucky in that sense too!! ;p
My friend told me that it was a “sexy” cancer to have. I think she was referring to the way that its been very much in the public eye, (film and pop stars get it!), and so awareness is high, and also that there’s a lot of money going into BC research, and all the advances yada-yada-ya …
Husband especially insensitive while driving me home from work tonight, I have my radiotherapy pre planning appointment tomorrow and I said to him that I am not looking forward to it and he said don’t worry about it and stop getting yourself stressed about it,well of course I am not going to worry about it and of course I am not going to get stessed about it !!! and if he thinks that then he does not really know me. I am a worrier anyway and I really do not want to do this but there really is no option I did not even reply to him I just thought he is getting tired of me always speaking about side effects of chemo and always speaking about cancer but it damn well takes over your life and is hardly ever out of my thoughts so I really did not need him to say these things. Oh to have normality back in our lives and to be able to do things without worrying if you are going to be too tired or it clashes with a treatment appointment. I would go and have a drink but I can not taste anything at the moment.
Apparently I have a nice head…
Answered the door wearing a scarf and the person on the other side said, oh so your treatments finished then, not!
Common one - you’re so brave I don’t think I could do what you’re doing - like I have a choice
I was discussing the ghost train that will be going from Holt to Sheringham for Halloween with my daughters and granddaughter. My eldest wants to go as morticia, and my granddaughter Wednesday. I said I think I will just go as a witch! To which my 12 year old daughter stated I would be a really good Uncle Fester…gutted ha ha
I Just found this thread - not sure whether to laugh or cry at some of the stories!
I think many of them highlight however just how little the non-cancer general public know about cancer, about how variable it is between people in terms of stages, treatment, experience, recovery etc. I admit I was before I was diagnosed. And I’m still learning more as time goes on. I don’t know if it’s because there is a fear of looking at it, so it doesn’t get discussed much on TV, in the media etc., even though there are lots of adverts on for cancer support. It would be nice if there was a better understanding of it so that people don’t react in some of the ways they do, and employers are more understanding etc.
Just my two pence worth:)
The one that really annoys the hell outta me is “you look so well” to which I now reply yeah I looked well before the cancer dx, I think people assume that you look like a hollocaust survivor if you’ve been through cancer treatment some people do look ill but the majority look normal apart from the fact that they’ve lost their hair to chemo. Currently stable and living with lung mets when I tell people about the lung mets they can’t take it and walk off, even my best friend has become alienated. I’ve stopped telling people now because of that reaction. xxx
just saw ths thread and I have had most if not nearly all of the comments made to me!!
How fantastic I look! well they should Look a lot close!,
i remember passing the hospital before i started my rads and saying to my hsband I hate going to that place ! He said oh well next time you go there it won’t be for anything serious, how insensitive ! Men!! HeHe
norms x
I joined the forum today, I’ve been having a bad couple of days, this all happened so suddenly and I feel like i’ve just bounced along the top of my emotions. Its all sinking in a bit now and I’m soooo relating to some of the comments on this thread. Most people seem to feel ‘well you’ve had the surgery so you’re ok now so why don’t you just pull yourself together and let’s get back to the old you…’ The old me will never be the same, I’m not ok yet, I’m tired I’m sore I have a flattened tennis ball where I used to have a breast and I am on drugs for the next five years! I willl be back, not quite the same hopefully stroger but it will take more than the 2 months I’m being given!. I’m also getting a bit stressed by comments like ‘well it could have been worse’ when i complain about being sore and tired… yes, it could have been worse, I could be dead, but is that really supposed to make me feel better cos all it actually makes me feel is guilty for ‘going on’ about how I feel.
I know my friends mean well and they’re trying to support me but sometimes they just don’t get it and I don’t want to hurt them by telling them they’re not getting it!
Thanks for everyone sharing their experiences, its good to share xx
Couldn’t decide which post to reply too as they are all so true! I had a Single MX 3 years ago and then Chemo and Rads and then an elected MX in October. Now have Lymphoedema and am on Leterazole. According to everyone I look"marvellous!" and am now"fine" now I’m “over it”!! hmmm
Just prior to diagnosis last September I reached my ‘goal’ (four stone lost) weight after three years of weighing and tracking food on an online weight loss programme. My cousin who knows this said to me yesterday when I told her I had cancer “do you think that’s how you lost all that weight?” Em no! It is, however, how I’ve managed to put half a stone back on via hormone treatment.
What a great thread…definately book material here.
I was diagnosed 10th June & am awaiting MX & SNB on 1st July. I have had lots of comments that I caould do without…
I have been promoised I will be OK.
I will be fine as I am strong & can deal with anything life throws at me.
I am fit & healthy so will be able to fight it
I am getting a free boob job…REALLY ???
It will be nice to have a few weeks off in the summer.
I cannot beleive how ignorant some people are. Some of the things they say just amaze me.
I have had lots of lovely things said too, lots of help offered & people being very concerned, which I suppose balances it out in some way.
I have had a chuckle this morning at this thread though 
Oh God I wish I’d read this thread months ago! I have smiled sweetly at all those people who have told me how brave I am and how well I look, then gone home and sworn like a navvy. There’s also the bloke at work who routinely says “cheer up love, it might never happen”. Sometimes I want to scream back at him with a full history of my dx and treatment. Can I add the other ones that have got me riled since my dx 18 months ago?
From a colleague “At least you didn’t have to have major surgery”. So what’s a MX and lymph node clearance then?
From my BIL when I said I was considering reconstruction. “what on earth do you want to do that for? It’s not as though you need them”
But the all time winner for me was from a now ex- friend " Well, you’re fat and over forty so it’s no surprise that you got BC".
Toni.
One of my neighbours was asked how I was getting on after my vasectomy…
After chemo, bilateral mastectomy, recon and rads my colleague has just said to me ‘she doesn’t know what all the fuss is about I look fine’ if only they knew. Off to bed now for a cry 
I agree people can be so stupid and won’t let you feel what you feel or express justified fears. A friend of mine died last week and I said something vaguely about my own mortality and was told not to say it ? How can I express what I am feeling when only positive feelings are allowed.
I’ve just had a dozey friend responding to my little saga about the fight I had to get reduction on irradiated breast (to even up Droopy and Parky) by saying ‘Well MY boobs have always been lop-sided’. The reply that shuts 'em up is ‘Yes that’s how you were born, I’m like this cos I had to permit someone to mutilate my body to keep me alive’. Works every time…
We are all different in how we react to our changed bodies, and what we want to do about it AND THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FINE.
Just reminds me why I decided to keep the whole BC scenario private except for one or two close friends.
grumpy
I know these forums are an opportunity for us to have a moan- which we certainly all need- but reading the comments here is quite a depressing business. It seems that whatever is said will offend/ upset some one whether it is someone trying to say something encouraging , whether it is a pessimistic remark, whether someone has trivialised our ’ suffering" , if someone says we look well, if someone says we look poorly …really they are on a hiding to nothing if they speak at all. There are actually worse things in the world than having breast cancer- think about it…
Maybe some of the people who say the ‘wrong’ things have troubles and problems of their own that we know nothing of- or they have gone through all kinds of traumas in the past. Sometimes I just think we should lighten up a bit and not take ourselves so seriously.
My own bête noir is being mistaken for a man because my hair has never re- grown properly; sometimes I feel really sorry for myself when this happens and want to find a suitable put- down for the person concerned…but then I realise that they are often more embarrassed or upset than I am - and that very few people are deliberately unkind, they really aren’t
My friend’s dad said to me: You look great - when are you going to stop sponging off the rest of us and get back to work?
I HOPE he was joking. Im not sure he was.
I had not long finished radiotherapy and was living on painkillers due to pain caused by chemotherapy, radiotherapy. tamoxifen and menopause (thank you chemo). Looking after my 7 year old was exhausting me. I had no energy and just muttered about having fatigue and needing some preventative surgery.
So glad I found this thread today, been feeling sorry for myself as I’ve just developed blood clots from taking tamoxifen (even though I told the Hosp I shouldn’t have it, as I’d already had a clot following chemo), but this has put a smile on my face.
I think one of my faves was a “friend” who I hadn’t seen in a while. After I told her I’d had BC DX, her response was…well that’s nothing, I’ve had the flu! I mean WTF!! Needless to say I let that friendship drop!
W
Wow Wendy… i can’t believe your ‘friend’ said that to you!
As Poems said, why don’t you do a swap - she how she likes having BC? Definitely one ‘friendship’ you can well do without!
Sorry to hear about your clot…That is just rubbish isn’t it…really hoping the medics can sort you out?
Take care
NAZ XXXX