After what seems like a lifetime of waiting, I have my mastectomy booked for this coming Saturday. It’s really hit me and I am getting more scared by the day and I’m very tearful.
I want it gone, but worried about the surgery and also what they will find (I know it’s big as it is lobular) and particularly in terms of lymph node involvement (I know there is a small amount already).
Any tips for keeping my sanity until Saturday would be much appreciated! I had my pre-op on Friday and that freaked me out because my pulse was racing so much. I keep going to worst case scenarios. Thank you.
please do ring your team they might be able to prescribe something to help you before op it is but please remember your team are highly experienced and do these all the time it takes a lot of trust but your team are helping save your life and will take care of you each step of the way you will wait in a cubicle in the morning till your op so take things to do you will then get marked up by your surgeon, you then go up and you’ll be asked questions by anethstatist, when you go through your team take over very quickly and you will be asleep before you know it the next thing you know you will be coming round in the recovery room take it steady post op, give your body chance to knit back together but do please ring your team tomorrow to see if they can prescribe something they want you to be ok and comfortable not frightened and upset they are there to care for you, lean on them Shi xx
I was very nervous before my operation too. I’d never been in hospital except for having babies, and I’d never had an operation. I was so scared particularly about the being put to sleep part. At my pre op my blood pressure was 186/124 and my pulse was over 120!
I’d advise you to tell your team. Mine talked me through the whole process and the anaesthetist gave me a sedative prior to the anaesthetic to relax me. They were so gentle and caring. They made me feel safe. Do tell them that you’re scared.
Make this week go fast by planning some nice treats…a meal out, a walk with friends, cinema etc. Keep your self busy! I got my house all tidy before, did a big food shop and worked as normal too. It helped keep my mind off my worries.
Good luck and let us know how it goes. You will be fine. I woke up afterwards and felt really proud of myself. X
My surgery was meant to be tomorrow but has now been moved to 16th. I too feel worried and I am sure as I get closer my fear will increase - but then I think of all the women who have been through this before us, they will be a mixture of strong and not so strong women who have all coped and even recovered really quickly (from reading lots of comments on here).
@flojo I look forward to you coming back here with your update once done letting me know how you are recovering ahead of mine. Sending lots of love xx
Thank you. Mine was due to be Friday 13th but the surgeon decided to do an extra day on Saturday so they brought it forward. It’s thrown me into a panic. I will report back from the other side. The positive is I am now first on so I at least get to go home the same day, hopefully. xx
Hi @flojo, That rising fear is really horrible isn’t it? In my opinion it is the worst bit of the surgery. I’ve had this 3 times - two lumpectomies and one recent mastectomy. Each time the week before was tough so be super kind to yourself. I think knowing what happens on the day as @Shi has described definitely helped me the last time. For my mastectomy I had a lot more visits from the breast care nurses than for my previous ops, which helped a lot. The anaesthetists are always brilliant - they will be focused on helping you wake up feeling as alert as possible and each time I’ve left hospital c.2 hours after coming out of recovery. However, if you need more time the nurses will be there and make sure you only leave when you’re ready.
Until Saturday a few things to consider to help you:
Getting outside regularly as exercise and being in nature if you can. It won’t eliminate the worry however it will help your mood as well as contribute to your pre-hab physically (including things like your resting heart rate). Plus you are going to be inside the whole day of the operation and the next couple of days probably so it’s nice to get out beforehand.
Keeping a good sleep routine (i.e. wind down to sleep and go to bed/ get up at a similar time each day) because it often helps mentally to be well rested. If I’m tired I’m extra weepy and I found I was emotionally drained from all the tearfulness so I slept like a log before the op. Hopefully it works the same way for you so you can get a little benefit out of this horrible waiting period.
Prepping things that will make you feel comfortable before and after op: I made quite an ‘event’ of packing a nice little hospital bag pre-op so I had all the things that would keep me comfortable. A book, headphones, collated playlists of music or downloaded meditations, a journal and pen, lip balm, toothbrush, etc. Whatever you find useful to pass the time and keep you comfortable when waiting. Next time (yep sadly got to do the other side) I’d do more ‘nesting’ at home too - setting up a coffee table with my drinks, TV remote, adding programmes to my wishlist to zone out to, blanket/ fan (depending upon the weather), etc, and getting things I regularly use down from cupboards.
And as @bluesatsuma says, do anything else that are your go-to tactics to distract you and help you feel calmer. This is different for everyone - for me I stayed working right up to the op as it made the time pass quickly.
@bonnie3 I’m sorry to hear your op got moved - that’s incredibly difficult when you’ve been psyching yourself up for it. I really get the worry - I’d dodged a mastectomy twice and the third time had no choice. I didn’t even like to say the word mastectomy - it made me feel quite . Yet I’ve coped ok - even with my drain in for 3.5 weeks which is quite unusual and a lot of anxiousness about what ‘normal’ looks and feels like. My advice would be to not suffer in silence with your worries. It’s easy to think ‘I’m mustn’t make a fuss’, etc but you’re not. Keep talking to the breast care nurses before and after. They are there to answer any question, discuss worries, etc and they are brilliant at it. And something that has helped me personally pre and post op is to keep a little record of how I’m feeling each/ most days because in a few weeks, a month, etc you can flick back and realise how far you’ve come, and that you too have a strength in yourself you’ve possibly never given yourself credit for. Today, I’m just shy of 7 weeks post-op and, whilst I’m still cautious about healing well and the next treatment, I’ve got the green light to do my first 5-10 minutes on a static bike at the gym which is v exciting!
@rainbowcat thank you. Your tips are very helpful. Luckily the weather is good for now so it makes it easy to be outdoors. I decided to start a TikTok page in the run up to my surgery as a place to share my thoughts and feelings so it will be interesting to look back at my journey when I am out of the other side.
I really love this group, you are all so lovely, supportive and experienced.
Thank you. That’s very kind of you. My sleep is all over the place at the moment! I am trying to write down some of my thoughts and feelings to get them out of my head - will keep at it.
I’m hoping that I will be well enough to get outdoors quite quickly to walk the dogs (although I have been warned about not holding the lead in my left hand) as that’s a regular part of my day. There’s so much to think about and trying to plan ahead a bit to things I won’t be able to do. Sadly, my OH was diagnosed with Parkinson’s last year so he’s very limited in what he can do - so we are going to be a right pair. xx
Hi flojo, yes the waiting is horrible. I understand how you are feeling and I was having lumpectomy. Why dont you phone them and see if you can get something to relax you until then. The staff on the ward, theatre and recovery were all amazing and put me at ease. I was kept informed what was happening. Until then, plan something extra nice for every day. You do deserve that big cream cake. Hope everything goes well. You will be fine x
Oh that’s such a lot to deal with for you both and yes there are quite a few things to think about. Get as much advice from the breast care nurses as possible because they will know this operation and recovery inside out. You might find that if you talk to your local cancer charity that you and your OH are entitled to some help at home - for example with cleaning, etc.
You’ll be able to get outdoors soon I’m sure. The first couple of surgeries I was out walking short distances the day after my operation. After my mastectomy and reconstruction the nurse advised I stayed in for a couple of day to let the GA leave my system, allow everything to settle and reduce the amount of swelling. I’m glad I gave myself more time. So you may want to ask a friend to walk the dogs for first couple of days. You can always go with them if you’re really up to it and if you’re not, at least you won’t be worrying about it. I know someone who had a double mastectomy and found a waist lead for walking their dog helpful.
Lots of people will say, ‘Let me know if you need anything’ because they don’t know what you need and right now you probably don’t either. But you will post-op so take them up on those offers when you specifically needs something like a lift in the car or something picking up from the shops. You’ll be helping them by making them feel useful and helping yourself to slowly get back to normal. Xx
Sending very best wishes for Saturday. The anticipation is horrible, I remember and empathise But it will soon be done and you’ll be a massive step closer to recovery. Try to distract yourself if unhelpful thoughts are trying to take over. Do whatever works for you. My personal favourites are - watch a film, read a book, do an online quiz, do a jigsaw, order a ridiculous amount of stuff off Shein…!
Have you got people who can support you and your OH post-surgery? Absolutely amazing that you might be able to go home the same day!
Sending strength and best wishes x
That’s really lovely of you @dorri - a friend mentioned something like that to me ages ago and it didn’t really click until I was deep ‘in’ the experience and then I was like ‘aha!’. X
Your team 100% want the absolute best outcome for you and that includes helping you get ready for surgery so call them, tell them, ask them
Start a journal ( no one ever needs to see it) as writing worries, fears, anxiety helps to get it out of your head…some people write it and burn it as a final act of letting go
Find a great book, a box set or 2 to watch, go for a lovely walk, have a cuppa and chat with mates
I really think that everyone around yoiwill want to help and support you so get specific with what you need or want
I ensured dog walks were covered for 2 weeks post surgery ( managed to join them after 5 days). I asked people to do my shopping & cleaning, share recipes for healthy easy stuff ( some even dropped off whole meals or sat with me eating wraps, wonderful quiches or salads)
I tried to make my days restful but also got out in the garden or took a short walk
Thank you everyone for your support. I am feeling slightly less freaked today. I just want to get it over with today! Really appreciate your thoughts and kind words. xx
I was really nervous as well. That is 100% to be expected and normal. I went through two mastectomies, both at different times. My best advice would be to take walks in nature leading up to it or exercise in a gym to reduce the nervous energy. Please know that even though all the steps of breast cancer are difficult to go through, you are stronger than you think. You will be on the other side of it soon. I’m not religious but my diagnosis brought me back to prayer so if that helps as well, it doesn’t hurt to ask the universe for the results you wish for.
Sending best wishes and hoping you get the results you prefer. Speedy recovery as well.
please do ring your team they might be able to prescribe something to help you before op 
but please remember your team are highly experienced and do these all the time 
. Yet I’ve coped ok - even with my drain in for 3.5 weeks which is quite unusual and a lot of anxiousness about what ‘normal’ looks and feels like. My advice would be to not suffer in silence with your worries. It’s easy to think ‘I’m mustn’t make a fuss’, etc but you’re not. Keep talking to the breast care nurses before and after. They are there to answer any question, discuss worries, etc and they are brilliant at it. And something that has helped me personally pre and post op is to keep a little record of how I’m feeling each/ most days because in a few weeks, a month, etc you can flick back and realise how far you’ve come, and that you too have a strength in yourself you’ve possibly never given yourself credit for. Today, I’m just shy of 7 weeks post-op and, whilst I’m still cautious about healing well and the next treatment, I’ve got the green light to do my first 5-10 minutes on a static bike at the gym which is v exciting!