I keep thinking what it will be like at the end. I couldn’t tolerate chemo tabs so not having anything but palliative care.
I have days when lm ok and days when l can’t function because lm tired / low.
Been diagnosed over a year.
It in spine ribs sternum and lungs now.
I feel ok just tired. The fatigue is like nothing l ever had before.
Anyone else struggling? My daughter is 34 and had M H problems. She has no coping strategies. Nobody loves my cat like l do.
Been a grim weekend. Sorry.
Xxxx sending prayers and healing to everyone xxx
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Hello Shaw, I feel sad reading your message and to hear how much you love your cat. They do know when we are suffering and are such beautiful creatures. Just watch them stretch and relax and learn from them.
Thank you for your prayers and healing. We all need some of that. I too am having to make difficult decisions in my life and it is not at all easy, is it?
I am glad you have made a decision not to have any further difficult treatments but to have palliative care. It is so much kinder and will help you to “live” the rest of your life without perhaps too much suffering. That is my wish for you 
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Hello . I’m so sorry you find yourself in this position – me too but I am 76 so
on one level, perhaps that makes it easier.
I had to be taken off Chemo tablets because they ,like previous treatment, failed quite quickly . I could’ve taken IV chemo but no way at this point and decided that palliative care from the hospice and GP is best and I think my GP agrees .
I was put on Tamoxifen in November as a last attempt at third line treatment , but very low chance it might help and to be honest, I’m not sure I’m going to stick with it as I am not convinced side-effects aren’t making things worse.
I do find tiredness and fatigue increasingly difficult and do spend an awful lot of time sitting down and 12 hours in bed every night . In my head, I want to do a lot, but my body no longer can .
I am mostly managing pain in my spine with slow release morphine tablets and Oramorph though I don’t always manage to get it sorted. I can understand thoughts turning to the end and how it will be and that is the thing I find most scary.
I’m just about to buy a Rollator to help walking and will swallow my pride!!!
God bless . I don’t know anything about where you are or where you live, but I will try and remember to pray for you. It’s a long old journey, isn’t it.
Cats are wonderful creatures, aren’t they .
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Thankyou 
lm 66 last week. Six years l waited for my pension and now l won’t enjoy it…
But people have worse…I just wish…I just wish BC didn’t spread. I take hydromorphone and paracetamol. I get side effects to every thing l ever tried.
Wish we could all meet up.
I’m in Merseyside ( Southport).
I’m sending love to everyone.
Palliative care is the more dignified option isn’t it ??? With love xxxx
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To all the wonderful, brave people who a suffering more than other, you are outstanding, my heart goes out to you all.
Be kind to yourselves, have all the things that make you happy and what your heart desires.
With all my love Tili 
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Sending love and virtual hugs. I feel I can’t face chemo if its not going to make me better, I don’t see the point of having all those side effects. I’m with you on that.
I’m 60, diagnosed last year and it’s in many of my bones and in my abdomen, but thankfully I’m not in pain. My breast cancer hasn’t followed any typical path. I was feacally incontinent and in discomfort sitting down for 5 months last year after starting targeted cancer therapy and had to fight to see a colorectal consultant to get a stoma created, which has improved my life no end. Now it’s been discovered both my kidneys are swollen and are not draining properly so I’m having an op to fit stents tomorrow to help that. My urologist indicated my kidneys are going to eventually stop functioning and I’ll go into a coma and die painlessly - that made me more at ease about passing away, but he didn’t mention how I’ll feel leading up to it.
Thankfully, I’ve been referred to the early palliative care team who have more experience with people with abdomen problems than my breast cancer team appear to have.
We can’t have a cat in our house because my husband is allergic to cats so please give your cat a stroke from me xxxx
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Dear Inmybones,
What a brave lady you are, be comfortable enjoy what ever makes you happy, it’s going to be a lovely week with sunshine, I hope it’s shining on you, you deserve it.
With the biggest hugs Tili
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I’m so sorry to hear all this. What a very brave woman you are.
Please know lm sending love prayers and healing. I wish l could hug you.
Wish l could help xxxxz
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Good luck with your operation sweetheart.
Please know lm thinking of you xxx
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Hi @shaw1
What a strong brave lady you are , it’s something all us breast cancer patients worry or think about , enjoy time with your cat and daughter reach out and get as much help if offered ,I found macmillan nurses helped me when my mum was on palliative care
Sending love and kisses Xxx
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Thank you for your kind words.
Hope you have a lovely week xx
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Shaw, thank you for your kind words.
Wishing you a comfortable week xx
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I’m sorry for what you are having to go through.
I am wondering with your daughter whether you can create a memory box with letters and cards/photos etc for the future?
I lost my mum 3 years ago when I was 36 but it was very sudden, she had a heart attack and I never got to say goodbye. I would have loved a letter or something prepared for me. It’s my 40th this year, maybe you can prepare her some cards for the big birthdays in her future?
I have suffered from MH in the past too and my mother’s death certainly turned my world upside down but I am able now to think of the positives she left me and remember how strong she was as a person.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and my son is 11, so my immediate thoughts were how would he cope without me? It’s upsetting and scary when you are a mum but hopefully our children will cope when the time comes.
Wishing you all the best,
Kat
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I’m so sorry for your diagnosis. Your son is young. It a good idea to have a memory box. I’m sorry for your loss. It must be hard Thankyou. I don’t know why l can’t get on top of the pain . I tried everything.
I’m so miserable and tired.
I know people have much worse
Sending love to you and everyone who has this horrible disease.
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shaw1 you’ve hit the nail on the head - the hardest thing when facing death is knowing that nobody can love quite the way we do; whether it’s your cat, your daughter or anyone else you’re thinking about. I’m some way behind you on the journey - I don’t have it in the lungs yet as far as I know but it’s all over my skeleton. I’m lucky that since diagnosis a year ago the drugs have kept it at bay for now and I’m feeling a lot better. But it’s the path I will be taking sooner or later. I find it very hard thinking about my son (with learning disabilities and autism) and my daughters who have their own issues, coping without me. They have a good dad, but as you say, nobody loves them like I do. I’m trying very hard to have faith in the future and tell myself the best possible stories about how things might be without me. But it’s so hard. Thank you for sharing what you’re going through right now. I wish you peace xx
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I’m sorry for what you going through.
I’m frightened of chemo. Did you have chemo ?. The spine pain very bad today.
Chemo won’t save us. It might buy us more time but at what cost? Bed ridden? Sepsis? I have low immunity. ( Always been sickly. If the wind blows on me l get flu. ! )
I don’t want to leave my vulnerable daughter or beautiful cat. My daughter and husband have never got on ( she’s 34. MH problems) my husband will feed Charlie kitten but won’t buy him the best food and he’s not vigilant with him . He locks him out.( Charlie won’t use the cat flap bless him ) It not been a good marriage but it all l have. I have hospice care. It a privilege to be under their care but they can’t manage the pain as lm too sensitive to everything.
Ask for GP for referral to hospice. It will help. I’m sending love. Thankyou.
Life goes on doesn’t it. I wish you love and healing and luck 
Xxx
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Thank you to everyone who’s sent their support to @shaw1, and shared their experiences. Palliative care can be a hard thing to think about and plan for. Please remember you don’t have to do this alone.
Our team of breast care nurses are here and always happy to talk things through, at your own pace. You can reach us on freephone 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm).
if you need to speak to someone outside of these hours, Macmillan Cancer Support’s helpline is open every day 8am-8pm, on freephone 0808 808 0000.
Sending our warmest wishes
Bernard
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I’m very lucky to be responding well to CDK4 inhibitors - not chemo but similar. I only had really bad pain in the sternum and aches and soreness in ribs and spine but it has almost gone with the treatment I’m on. Have the Drs tried you with fentanyl? When my sister-in-law was dying that really worked for her. I’m so sorry you’re in pain. Would Charlie be made anxious if he was brought to visit you in there? I know most cats don’t do well taken out of their environment (so much easier to bring a dog to visit!) but it would be so nice for you to cuddle him. Wishing you and Charlie and your daughter all the best xx
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Hi Gillmary
I found your reply inspiring.
I just started gabapentin in connection with Hydromorphone.
I’m in bed more than ever. At least twelve hours like you sometimes twenty four.
I live in Merseyside. I wish we could all meet up face to face and talk and share.
How did we get here ???
I’m sending love to everyone.
I’m sending peace to everyone. We only have the here and now. Nothing else matters. Just now. Xxxxxxx
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