Bob20 Ive heard that a few times they think BC is have the lump out maybe chemo rads & tablets & you’ll be fine & yes in the short view of those who have not been there looking in is the way it must look and they think there is only ONE type
El Katrano
You forgot to mention C.M has a beautifully shaped head!!!
A friend’s Facebook status:
“I had a blood test today and it hurt SO much I don’t know how I’ll cope”
Tongue-biting moment!!
Yep you got it in a nut shell Ninja
xxx
If i didnt know you were ill i would never guess !!!WTF The keep positive one gets me , how much more positive do they think we can be . You are so strong u will beat this and i agree with the " breast cancer is a good cancer to get"!!! OMG…
All of this when u feel like a freak that wears a wig so u dont offend who is looking at you…seriously considering ditching it as i cannot see myself so why do i bother???
This has been the best topic all week .!!! Great to know i am not unique in my evil thoughts.
THANKYOU <3
Bob20, I got that comment - FROM MY GP!!! I haven’t seen her since for a consultation (like trying to get an appointment with the pope!) but I will mention to her.
I also got “you’ll be stronger when you’ve got through this”, also from my GP. Thanks, I’d much rather not HAVE to be strong, I was quite happy with my weak and pathetic life, I was actually enjoying it and looking forward to things like, oh, perhaps a holiday, and perhaps hanging onto my hair, and perhaps just getting on with looking for a job and earning some money to get me out of financial poo. But no, I get cancer and that’s something I’m supposed to feel GOOD about, because I’ll be so much stronger when I’ve got through all the treatment.
Well bo**ox to that.
Lorna, that’s EXACTLY the attitude I have regarding wigs. If I get cold, I shove something on my head. If I’m not cold, then other people can just bloody well deal with talking to a bald woman.
Something really cute the other day. We were sitting in the pub beer garden, and a little girl we’ve seen in there several times came over to talk to the dog. You know the sort of child - very chatty, friendly, open, and downright CUTE. We’ve heard all about her dog, and the dog’s name, and that she loves dogs, and that she thinks ours is very soft and nice to stroke. And she said quite openly, “why don’t you have any hair?” So I told her I’d been a bit sick and the medicine they gave me made my hair all fall out, but it was growing back now. She seemed happy with the answer. How lovely she felt able to ask the question. Her mum was very sweet and came over a minute or two later to apologise for the question and I told her it was absolutely fine, and good that she felt able to ask, and that I really didn’t mind in the least. It made me smile.
So not everything people say to you makes you cross, 3-year-olds can be SO refreshing!
Every day my mum either rings or texts “keep smiling”.
Why? Some days there is not much to smile about
Then text her back and say exactly that!
Hi I know how u feel not having gd day today was dx with sec to lungs in march chemo may 6 taxol/carboplatin loads se had wk in bed I’ll I’ve had thrush so bad can’t eat had only yr off last chemo now back on it no I don’t feel I can cope I don’t want chemo again I hate it I’m bald I’ve cancer I hate this and my life my family say they support me no they have no idea how I feel them that don’t have chemo have no idea my oh u got to fight why I did that a yr ago got me nowhere my bcn is on holiday I cld scream need to vent I don’t want chemo or cancer I hate it all sorry laura
Laura, no need to say sorry at all. I won’t say “I know how you feel”, because I don’t. But I can imagine, and I can also picture you sobbing over your keyboard.
I just wish I could give you a massive hug. I know it wouldn’t make it any less crappy, but I hope it might make you feel a bit less misunderstood.
I know we’re just words on a screen, but a lot of people will want to reach out to you. And although your BCN is away, the helpline is there, so give them a ring in the morning and vent away, that’s what they’re there for.
CM
x
Laura I echo CM. It is just absolute crap you are going through and no one will fully understand what you are going thro or feeling.
I hope tomorrow feels a bit easier and the helpline could give you some support. Not much more to say without sounding glib or trite. Some days are downright rubbish and nothing can change that x
I totally understand this post, i get all the oh you cant tell you are ill. You look so good. You will be stronger for it.You can beat this, pleae stay positive, it could be worse, there are people worse off than you. YOu are so brave…!“£”%^&!“”“”“”“”“”"Brave!!! Oh i AM holding my tongue cos these are well meant, but I am not brave, I am not stronger for it, I am not coping whre they say they would not be able to. Of course they would cope, they would have to, it is not like you get given a choice, not like you have a c@@p man or job or situation that you can walk away from. I have no choice so I deal with it cos there is no option!!! Love ang hugs to you all. Shar xxxxxxxxxxx
CM - tht is just sooo cute re that little girl, bless her xx
My 33 year old sil came to see me last weekend, came into the house and said ‘ah so how you feeling?’ I replied not gr8. She then stood there and said ‘ah so what is chemo then??’ Argh, I couldn’t be bothered to explain (didn’t have the energy) she then went on to tell me maybe I wouldn’t lose my hair!!! She’s 33 for gods sake, doesn’t have a clue!!! Aren’t I mean moaning about her - does make you feel better thou hee hee
Hi, this is a great tread, I went into work today, & my manager said what she alwys says"I love to see you, you make me feel better". Better for what!!!. Ive had the usual, you look soooooo well, god I must have looked sooooo bad before bc.The only 1 more to go now, yes you have it for me then. And the bl…dy worse, my only daughter said the majic, “if you are going to get cancer the best one to get get is breast cancer”. I would not wish this on my worse enemy,( well perhaps the cow that ran off with my husband of 27 years), love to see her bald!!!.Only us who are going through this can understand the terror of not knowing if we will see our children grow up or even have children,we are not brave, we are just doing all we can to stay alive for as long as possible. Wr are hoping to survive, god bless us all xxx
Fantastic Thread
Had 2 nd mx last week awaiting treatment plan
And the next person to say to me… You will sail through it this time you know what to expect
Derr … Don’t want to be sailing through this, I want to be sailing on the cruise we had booked for august with my fab OH and 2 lovely kids… Grrrr
Take care Mandy
Great thread! I had a fb message thinking of you your so brave. I fb back it’s not brave I do because I have to to give me a extra 15% chance to live for 5-10 yrs. Ahhh. I won’t wear my wig cos I feel I’m hiding and am always scratching like I’m the nit woman. My son got married this week and I didn’t wear it then, hat for ceremony and bald with a little fluff for reception. My 4 yr old granddaughter introduces me as ‘this is my nanny she only has one boob, but she has a comfy cushion and a sticky booby instead,’ or’ she’s got no hair cos of her nasty medicine.’ Kids are great. I’m popping into work soon to say hi to the kids( work in infant school) I will be bald then to, cos it so suits me! I have had kind things done, at sons wedding day before chemo I really didn’t want alcohol so only had a drop of champas and an inch of red wine, at end the waiter gave me a bottle of red to take home for when I could have a drink, now that’s thought!
I’m getting up now and squeezing myself in to my lovely extra large clothes that so suit me’
Love BD xxx
I hate the FB status uupdates along the lines of “Ooh I feel feally ill, must be getting a cold” - WTF??? Wanna swap places? gets me sooo mad… and god help wingers when I go back to work - already had the “your hair looks good short” no it f***ing doesn’t it looks like a blokes style.
not even gonna mention bravery…
and there’s the " so, are you cured now?" - and during chemo I hated the ‘countdown’ messages, 5 down 3 to go and “soon be over”
Grrr… rant over,
love your post too CM uplifting, funny and honest,
Keep “smiling” ladies!
Can anyone tell me what “You have to be positive” actually means? Most people were great while I was going through things but that comment used to make me swear the more I heard it. I wanted to scream “I am bloody positive! I am positive I have breast cancer” but being me I would usually spare their feelings and just say “Yeh” and seethe quietly.
The perfect reply to the “you have to be positive” comment is, as you hinted, “what exactly do you mean?” And then watch them squirm.
And WHY TF do we HAVE to be positive, whatever that means? Go and have bloomin’ good cry, whinge, shout, scream, yell, hit something if you feel like it, and wallow and sob and shake with terror and fear at 3am if that’s what happens to you and don’t feel that by doing so you’re somehow jeopardising your chance of survival.
Be positive? Bo**ocks.
The one that gets me is " how are you REALLY?" and I read a quote in a book that helps me deal with this one.
Smile and say “FINE”
F … f***ed up
I … insecure
N … neurotic
E … exhausted
Only I know what I really mean!
But I do agree … being told that I am brave annoys me the most…like I have a choice!
x