My chemo ward doesn’t even give you free coffee!
Really funny episode when out with my husband, my daughter and two of the grandchildren last week - my daughter met an old friend of hers who was with a new partner, so the friend was introducing us to him, unfortunately she introduced me as my daughter’s husband! Ha ha ha! I was not at all offended, but it was obvious the poor girl was wishing the ground would swallow her up…
“Breast cancer”, not whispering after all why??? She replied with “It’s the best kind to get you know!”
Next time someone says that; put them right. The type with the best survival rate is testicular cancer (source: Cancer Research UK).
But to call it, “the best one to get” brings it down to being like choosing breakfast cereals.
oh ninja-i love that-next time someone says that(bin said a lot !!! )-i will reply-no actually-it’s testicular but i haven’t got any balls lol. and the pic and mix will be used too-thanx folks
How on earth ANY cancer be described as the *BEST* leaves me speechless!
It’s AMAzING what is said in order to “make us feel better” when in reality it’s to make the other person feel better (less uncomfortable)!
Morning All
You’ve all cheered me up no-end reading this thread perhaps each treatment centre should employ a 7yr old, children bring such joy to our world. But I have to say as irritating and annoying as they (grown-ups) are, I’d rather they said something crass or even thoughtless, annoying or irritating than nothing at all. I saw a friend the other day and she totally blanked me, actually turned her back and walked (almost ran) the other way!! And rather than speak to me my boss did a u-turn and disappeared into someones office. Most irriatating is the sharp intake of breath and look of horror on there face when they see you coming towards them. Would much rather they said something (even ‘sorry’) than nothing at all.
LfW
I must be honest I never really thought about how to speak to someone some years ago who had a different cancer so I just carried on as usual as we had a good working relationship where we did take the mickey! I did however ask how things were from time to time as I felt to ignore it would be too rude but gawd help us I hope I am never that lost for words. What a delight choosing testicular hmm definitely pick’n’mix! As for the coffee still tastes nicer in the naughty corner!
Funny how the ‘C’ word still makes people uncomfortable in the beginning I felt awful saying it out loud but that was because it made it more real when I said it and I hated to upset people but then further down the line now and think hells bells I haven’t done anything wrong it’s an illness not the bl—y plague! That’s why I could not believe the whispering! Well guess we DO have balls just we don’t have them on show or we would not be kicking back …back to the naughty corner where I feel quite good! have a good day ladies xxx p.s CM you can come to my corner for coffee!
I’m afraid I wouldn’t let someone off that easily if they said the ‘best’ cancer. I would ask them to explain how it is the best and watch them flounder.
Have to admit to getting the tiniest bit of pleasure now from watching people trying to dig themselves out of a hole when they’ve said the wrong thing whilst I stay calm and say nothing to help them feel less bad. Ha-ha!
“I must be honest I never really thought about how to speak to someone some years ago who had a different cancer so I just carried on as usual”
Ain’t that the best way!
I am a person, not a disease with a person attached. I appreciate that folk want to politely ask about my cancer but I want to chat, to gossip.
too right! I really appreciate the friends who’ve come round and chatted about everything and nothing as per usual and broadened out my world again…
Emmy, I LIVE in the naughty corner!
I agree with the “treat as a normal person” thing, particularly when I’m out and about TRYING to be normal. When anyone has done the concerned stuff in conversation I’ve usually given a brief (yes, I can occasionally do brief!) summary and then said “and how about you, how are YOU doing? How’s your husband/wife/kids/dog getting on?” or just discuss whatever work-related thing we were meant to be talking about.
The turning and running away thing happens not just with cancer but with bereavement. A few years ago when my then almost-ex-partner died suddenly, I warned my kids that they might get the “three heads” treatment, where people don’t know what to say and look at you as if you have three heads. Yup, I was right, happened all over the place to all of us (I think people when they looked at me were wondering if I’d pushed him over a cliff!) Most unpleasant to be on the receiving end of.
How about" haven’t you got a nice shaped head!!"
ARRRGHHHHH
“Lucky you, your head is the irght shape for being bald” Eh?
Also:
“You look so much younger”
“You look really trendy/funky”
hey ho.
When I (very occasionally) wear my wig, people say how fantastic it is and how good I look in it. I know they are being nice, but it also implies that I look like s**t without it - which unfortunately is also true!
Dx
“Lucky you, your head is the irght shape for being bald”
.
Ermmm, it’s shaped like a head?
At least it’s worth being on show, unlike your are which is best kept out of sight.
…But I’ve never dared to say that…
Oh Ninja, you made me laugh out loud!!!
oh ninja you do make me laugh. Perhaps you should market a pack of cards each with one of your comments on.
People could carry them around and whenever someone said something well meaning (but annoying) they could give them the appropriate one and then run. (or stay there and enjoy the expression on their face as they read it)
But some people DO have nice shaped heads which only becomes evident if they lose their hair or shave their head. I would actually have been quite flattered if someone had said that to me.
…But of course only if I had brought up the subject in the first place.