This comment wasn’t well meaning but was really annoying and I thought it might make you laugh.
I went to a school reunion a year after having BC the first time round. One of the men said “You should’ve kept your hair long as you look really butch with it short”. I said, “Thanks, I’ve just had cancer.” He looked really uncomfortable so tried to change the subject by asking how my sister was. I said “She has just had cancer too”.
He didn’t want to talk to me after that. I never liked him anyway so was a great way to get rid of him
I went in a cafe this week and the lady who lives next door but one to me (we moved as i got bc) boldly just stood at the till and said …Youre my neighbour arent you? How are you going along hows the treatment? Then in front of everyone ,customers people serving she pipes up …Oh did you have a mastectomy then ? WHAT !!!
She has only ever spoke to me once and that was when my cat pooed in her garden lol and she knocked on my door and asked me to do something about it!!! Just couldnt believe her cheek ,nor could the poor people behind the counter .They didnt know where to look they were so embarassed!!!
Not a neighbour i really want to get involved with !!! xx
My hair is just coming back post chemo, still very short and very grey (it wasn’t before!) and it’s annoying how many people have commented and said that it suits me.
Why oh why do people insist on telling you about people they know who have died of cancer!!! “Oh yes, my friend got it in her lungs nd was dead within a week” - the LAST thing I want to hear!! Why do people do it?? Do they think it helps??
Lisha
Thats quite a sensitive neighbour you have there.You should have said to her ,well at least I can have surgery to change my shape ‘I’m sorry you can’t do anything about your mouth’
I has similar experience with a drunk work colleague of my partners two years ago when he said why have you got such wee boobs? I mean who would say that to somebody anyway! So i just said theyre wee cos i had to have bits chopped off cos i had cancer and he looked mortified. his wife kept coming up to apologise to me all night but he never said anything and just shuffled off.
Lisha id be sending my cat round to make some regular deposits… What cow bag!
Grrrrrhhh, I am a chef, Just gone back to work part time after Mastectomy,Started Chemo 9 days ago feel OK… Guy walks Into kitchen, “Oh its you” Blah Blah…“You Look Well”… Coping OK, Killer Line… “Don’t you feel a bit of a Fool Now”…WTFK
Yep how stupid getting Cancer, Having Breast Off, Full Lymph Clearence, and recovering well so far whilst undergoing Chemo and wanting to go to work, some semblence of “Normal”
People are astounding…I know who the fool is !!!
On hearing that I was about to start chemotherapy a girl at work said ‘oh, lucky you, you’ll get to wear a wig! I’d get a bright pink one if it was me!’
Not feeling that lucky yet…
I love this thread. People do say the most amazing things - however, maybe better that they say SOMETHING rather than ignoring the situation which can feel very hurtful.
Gooseberry girl, is your stupid colleague suggesting you (and your consultant surgeons and oncologists) made a mistake and you didn’t have cancer after all and everyone should now feel bad because you had your breast off for nothing? Do they come any more stupid that than that? And he is allowed to work with sharp knives…?!
And Nija I can personally provide a bright pink wig if you would like to nail it to your colleague’s head. Put one in her secret santa with a list of all the dates you expect her to wear it to work.
Here is something really useful that was said to me: Instead of the ususal insincere, “Oh dear, let me know if…”, and other rubbish like, Oh you Must come over one day (Really,?! no actually I don’t must.) one person said directly and in writing, “Please tell me how I can help” That was a direct request to be allowed to stay involved with me on my journey and has never left me.
I need to vent a little. Most people close to me have been amazing but my own parents have proved to be a bit of a nightmare.
My mum sends random texts every now and again to ask me how i am but hardly ever responds back when i tell her. Tonight she actually called me, nice surprise i thought…wrong! She rambled on about the twilight films, someones lent them to her to watch as shes never seen them and wanted to know which order to watch them in. I told her and she went to go and as an afterthought said… “oh are you still having treatment or are you finished now?” Grrr ive had 2 of 6 chemos if she bothered to contact me more she’d know, sometimes i wonder if she cares at all!
Clare, I think your mum could be related to my sister or maybe it’s that we are just that unlucky and they are really from a completely different planet/gene pool!!! lol! Know that the PJ Posse and all the fab ladies on this site will always care xxx
I rang work today, and my boss was having a day off, so I asked a colleague to leave her a message on her desk for me, then came the line that you think “Corker”!
“You sound very perky, it’s like there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re so brave”!!!
What I sound like and look like are 2 completely different things, bless her she’s in for a bit of a shock when I call in next Wednesday - no hair and the colour of casper the friendly ghost, don’t know whether to ease her in gently and send her a pic first!!!lol!
Clare, Who knew one mum could have so many daughters, I must be another lost twin!
Mine used to keep ringing and ask, Hello there is anyone there, Are you still alive? …Well, yeah, I’m answering the phone, aren’t I? And if I wasn’t, someone would have told you. But then she would stop short of being able to follow up with, Are you OK, can I help at all.
It must be a large extended family, told my mum tonight I’d had surgery and she was just cross I hadn’t told her before ( I had surgery 2 weeks ago but wanted to spare her the worry).she then carried on telling me about her neighbours holiday!
Parents - who’d have them !
Herbi x
Yesterday my Mum said “You’re not always chirpy - don’t kid yourself”!
Today I said I was tired after i drove my husband on a 50 mile round trip yesterday to his medical appt and then took my Mum for her hearing test today. She said “well I’m not tired, can’t understand it.”
I had to say “well, you haven’t just finished 4months of chemotherapy”
No reply to that one…
