oh and I tell myself all the time - that BC is “a good one to get” - can’t expect other people to stop saying unhelpful things when I’m telling myself it too!!
Before all of this I have had a live 90% for today and 10% to make sure I have a good future attitude (need to pay the holiday bills afterall) so I have every intention of sticking to that.
Now, I really, really need to stop looking through this site and get on with some of the 10% boring stuff - if you see me post again today just tell me off
I have done the same. “I have BC… the easiest one to cure…” I ‘just’ had a breast lopped off. But I liked my breasts, I had lovely sensitive nipples and now I’ve only got one… for now.
I have done the ‘positive thinking’ “Yes I’m very positive, it was caught early and there’s a good survival rate”. But, after the mx I was upgraded to stage 3 so needed to have the chemo regeme to mop up those stray cells.
“It’s only 1 year out of my life” Well it’s been 6 months now and I have another year of Herceptin to go, then the worry of recurrence.
I joke about the hair loss and the various hats I’ve bought to keep warm. I point out that I have a spare bra cup just handy for the Hickman line to curl up in.
People I meet comment on how well I look. They havent seen me in the middle of a reaction to the chemo or infections that have put me into hospital isolation for weeks on end.
I’m depressed just thinking about it. Going to find some chocolate.
Sounds like gypsylady is being “POSITIVE” then!! I’ve lost count how many people have said that to me, I suppose they don’t know what else to say? Maybe we are all being positive because we are all getting on with it in our own way…LOVE AND HUGS TO ALLxxx
A friend rang today. She does mean well. Keeps telling me about a lady at her gym who looks fantastic. She had breast cancer and seems as though she’s completely recovered, but my friend doesn’t know what type of breast cancer she had, what treatment she received or how long ago it was - just knows she looks fantastic.
Maybe I’m being unreasonable not feeling very enthusiastic every time she tells me.
Also, as some others have said- we may seem positive, but who sees us on our worst days? Maybe they should? I’m fed up putting a “brave face” on. I’m having a PJs day today with my lovely cat on my lap. How do they know how we are feeling? More sensitive than humans I probably.
Possibly because they can’t say things to upset us.
Oh dear - I have been to the gym a couple of times, twice during chemo, when I had the usual “oh you look so well”, but I doubt that anyone there realised that the reason I didn’t appear for the next 6 weeks was because I could hardly get up…
I have started to go back again now, during rads, but I am not pushing it as I need to listen to my body. I would be mortified if anyone was using me as an example to others -like you say, they only see us on our good days!!
My niece is 20 and moved to germany this summer to work as an au pair… this week she sent me a letter in which she said that she was glad that i was better now!!! yes treatment is over but still alot of recovery to go… but she only wrote this cos that is what my sister has told her, and how does my sister know? she doesnt, when we speak she doesnt ask me how i am…
Spoke to my HR manager this week because there is a reorg going on and some uncertainty over my next project/ reporting lines. I am about to take back full responsibily for the project- the week after I finish Rads, and this was the first time I have ever spoken to the woman as she didn’t bother to reply or get in touch after I notified her of my diagnosis back in January -so, did she ask me how I was? No. Nothing.
No wonder you called yourself Projectwoman! Don’t let yourself be put upon too soon. Your body and mind will tell you what you can cope with.
I’ve given my Manager the leaflet for employers and has taken on board the fact that even when treatment is finished we will not be back to “normal” for some time - and he’s a man. How lucky am I? I couldn’t have asked for anyone to deal with it better than he has.
what i have found more annoying (well maybe more hurtful really) is someone’s lack of contact, since my surgey 1 month ago (mx) i have seen this friend 2, and only by chance, and she couldn’t wait to get away from me (i have had couple text messages and an email) she lives 5 doors away??
hi ladies just read through your comments i can so relate to commets you recieved i got so fed up of hearing not long to go when treatment finished you can forget about it FORGET!!! and to top it all i got a comment which really shocked me i thought chemo would be worse than it was EXCUSE me when did u last have chemo some people
I have recently had a hospital stay due to high temp for infection. Was a particularly low point and put on my fb status ‘if one more person tries to inject me with something i will stick it up their ass’ i got this response from someone (who is pregnant) ‘try being me i have to give two vials of blood every two weeks and i dont even get a sodding biscuit!’
Well to say i was peed off is an understatement and im sure it didnt help my blood pressure so i had a bit of a fb rant along the lines of ‘yes i would rather be u, i have BC been operated on, subjected to chemo, which will make me infertile so no kids in my future, lost my hair, not sleeping, having bloods taken virtually every day likewise with injections, have an infected inflamed arm and have 5 more chemo treatments to go so prob more of the same oh but yes i will prob be offered biscuits so thats ok is it’
She has since apologised and said she didnt know…shows how many of my status she actually reads!!
Had lunch with a former work-mate who spent most of the time moaning about office politics and summed up the situation with “the past 2 years have been absolute hell” - hmmmm, not compared to my past 2 years (the details of which she was fully aware).
Today I stumbled across some wrtten comments I’d made about my first day back at work in 2008/9 after extensive surgery and chemo. On welcoming me back, a colleague of mine bluntly said “you look good for the rest”. I still remember her saying it - I was furious. Was that what people were thinking, that I was just having an extended holiday?!
It’s probably my paranoia, though, cos I’m convinced people think I’m skiving now when I leave work at mid day for radiotherapy following a recurrence - I am, of course, skiving.
Out the other night wearing a scarf and was asked by a stupid man if I was selling pegs!!
Had been emotional all day and had gone out with friends to cheer me up.
Fi xxx
I’ve just been reading some of the posts on unthinking comments that people have made, and it reminded me of when I was off work sick having surgery/chemo/radiotherapy four years’ ago. My lovely, very supportive manager would send an email to my dept colleagues every six weeks or so, just to keep them updated on my progress. By the header of the email they would know what it was about, and if they didn’t want to open it up, well that was up to them. Anyway, on day she was having her regular 1-1 meeting with the director of the dept, who had to tell her that she had received a `complaint’ from someone in the dept who said that it wasn’t appropriate for the dept to be updated on my condition and she had to stop sending them!!! I never found out who that person was. My manager was absolutely incensed on my behalf - she was so angry. It wasn’t detailed in any way, just letting them know how I was, basically. Me? I was more hurt than anything. 90% of my colleagues are female - it could so easily happen to them…
Hi. In having chemo today nd ‘my’ nurse was telling me how awfull it was that every time she is a bit ill, she is convinced she has cancer - nd how stressful it is!! There i am on 27th chemo with bone nd lung mets!! Talk about stress!! AAAAGGGGHHHH!!! PHEW, feel better now!
I’m just starting a phased return, and finding the speed proposed hard… so slowing it down. This week, I’m on a 3 day course at the end of the week, which is full-on (though I’ve asked for somewhere to rest) So, Occy Health said to only do 1 morning this week. Someone this morning (when I went in for an outpatients appointoment) asked when I was in this week. Only doing one morning… and explained why. “I’d like a job like yours”… *thinks* Yes, and would you like the cancer too???
There are paragraphs headed:
Be present
Be patient
Be inquisitive
Be calm
Be honest and communicative
Be normal
Be persistent
One of her really good points is ‘don’t just talk about cancer and people you know who have had it’. (This woman has clearly had some rough times with chemo, so I forgive her for having more friends, more money, etc, than I do. )
lol