Just caught up on this please understand I don’t take offence just sharing my experiences
My comments are very tongue in cheek and if you read other things I have posted you will see that
I think as in life (eg when I send and read work emails) the written word cannot always be interpreted with the correct intent
I am positive and will kick cancers ass and am very much a heart on sleeve person too x
Oh I totally hear what you are saying CK and I agree, everyone needs a space for venting, especially on crappy days to help move onto the next good day :) While we can’t change our thought processes and what other people say, I’ve found I can certainly channel positivity by choosing to have the right people around me and choosing how to react to certain things, even if that means noone on a particular day. If you find it’s a stupid thing for someone to say, tell them 
biting your tongue is hard when you don’t have the energy and when you tell them, they’ll learn not to say it again - although it might take them back a little lol. Besides, the squirming is fun to watch for a little while lol!
Nicola I do like the idea of watching people squirm lol ?
Perhaps I need to add mean into my self description ha ha x
Ann, bloody nora! That is a winner!!! Honestly, some people?? Well, in the lead, althpugh ‘Has chemi stunted your growth’ a close second!!?
SueW, we are 2 of a kind! Have you heard from Jencat? Im just chiilin b4 we go to see Bananarama!! Daughter cant belueve shes coming with the oldies!!! 8 of us, lol! Now what shall I wear???
Ann and Nicola
All the best for your treatments and keep up the one liners on here?Lately, there have been so many grumpy people about whether on phone or just simply moaning about a spot or a cold!I’m like well, going through chemo and losing your hair isn’t that nice either…and they then soon change there tone! I dont want sympathy but shut up!!! Im sorry but my patience isn’t what it used to be? Rant rant rant???
Whilst awaiting diagnosis after being told by consultant my lump was very suspect my sister who I love dearly and knows me so well and gets my sense of humour said
Oh well if you lose your nipples and get your boobs reconstructed from your tummy at least you will look like Barbie x some people may find that insensitive but due to our relationship I found it hilarious xx
Must admit I have not had anything said to me remotely like what you have all been posting, but you have had me going from absolute hysterics to indigation with what people have said to you. Love all your wonderful humour
Helena xxx
Thankyou Annehr! Let me know when you get your date, I’ll be thinking of you I expect I’ll be popping in and out on here while I’m in hospital - such boring places lol.
For me DIEP was the only option. They would not balance the other boob out with an implant (I’m 30) so would have wonky boobs and the Dorsi flap would impact a lot of physical activity which is a big part of my life so it’s not negotiable. DIEP might be a bigger operation but it’s the most natural option with less impact on life in the long run. Short term pain for long term gain :)
I have been physio today it’s a good job she is good at what she does
She told me she had a lump removed from her breast but it was benign I said thank goodness she went on to say yes I was glad I didn’t have to have poison pumped into my body my response was I like to think of it as medicine and that lots of medicine in it’s raw form would be considered poison and it’s the professionals that make it medicine
Good job I wasn’t feeling sensitive today or she could have upset me
Next appointment I will avoid all medical conversation x
I too can cope with stupid but kindness makes me cry x
Also I have been hurt by friends I have known for ages who have faded away since diagnosis and equally surprised by colleagues and people I know but don’t necessarily consider to be close friends who have stepped up and been there unconditionally x
Life and people are very weird x
Ann hugs to you so much to contend with at the moment just know we are all thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way xx
i seem to deal with people saying stupid things too,but show me kindness and say im doing so well or things like if i had bc i wish i had the strenght you have to get through it has me blubbing ,in fact you dont have much choice you have to deal with it ,i did have someone say to me i bet you didnt realize how easy it was ,what the heck easy theres nothing easy about breast cancer but i politely said no i didnt think it was gonna be so hard silly billys they just dont have a clue some people ,or some people would say if i had bc i would have my boobs straight off so again i politely said if you did have bc i think you would find it extremely difficult when you are actually faced with it but you havent got it so how do you know how you would feel ect ect little fairy letting all the silly comments just blow straight over my head xx
Morning ladies
Had a stupid remark last night with additional face puling! Went to my local Tesco on the way home and one of the staff whos been there for a while said ‘Hi, how are you, not seen you for ages?’ So I told her and she pulled the most disgusting face which I understand but then I couldnt but help say ‘Thats not what your meant to do, its not that bad’ and she replied ‘Well, its not nice, is it!’ So I said ‘Why, have you had it?’ She said No, but my friend has had it’ Me ‘Its not nice but we all react differently!’ Think she came out of her little world then and said ‘Well, yes you do!’ I did get my shopping!!!
Ann
So sorry to hear about your late partner. It is crap what we are going through and any added crap just seems worse and harder to deal with.
I went on a BCC course last week and there were a couple of ladies with different reconstruction surgeries and they were in good spirits and helping others when the bra lady showed us all the different pads and ‘chicken fillets’ to put inside the pockets in the bras. Some even had nipples on. Everything is just so advanced and clever and so much we can do once we get through the emotional side?
Little fairy
EASY!!! Are you kidding? I dont know! I had someone say recently ‘Well, thats one of the best Cancers to have’ Really? Well, thanks, mate! I know they meant it’s easier to treat but hmmm, I dont think ‘easy’ or ‘best’ can be associated with my condition:0
SueW
What an idiot of a physio!!! I dont think people realise when they use the word ‘poison’, its actually going into our bodies!!! When they use that word with me I tell them I call the drugs ny mates and I talk to them as they are going in to look after me?
Kindness brings a tear to my eye too! When I went to see Bananarama, it was really windy and was worried about my wig blowing off and security were quite strict outside when I was waiting for my friends who had the tickets and kept telling me to move. My daughter got annoyed and told them I was going through treatment, they then changed their tune and were so good and on the way out, one even looked out for me and said ‘Good luck with the treatment!’ and a tear slipped. Daughter asked if I was crying, I said no, its the wind!
Next Friday Im holding a charity night for my local cancer care centre in Stockportwhich I attend every Tuesday and so many people have asked if I need raffle prizes. So the good is overiding the stupid comnents at tbe moment. But Ive noticed my tongue is getting sharper with my lack of tolerance lately???
Ah as ever CK, you are the voice of reason … and you make me chuckle.
xxxx
Sorry …no offence was intended…its just I find I often have a ‘rueful laugh’…now that I’m further away from diagnosis. I can laugh at the person who makes the most awful responses as it’s so ridiculous.
It could just be me…I think my, at times,finding humour in dark places and times isn’t understandable to everyone. I find that looking back on my horrendous interview nearly year later is something I can now see as bizarre and so shockingly insensitive it makes me laugh, like you do at stupid things. At the time I wanted to burst into tears and I was very cross!
Oh gosh we both think we are offending each other lol
I don’t find her funny for doing It, I guess it’s hard to explain…but the situation trying to be interviewed and the stupidity of it. Oh well…we are all different and laugh or cry it’s ‘character building’. I just can’t imagine ever being so deeply thoughtless, even before having it myself, the lack of empathy in some people is shocking. I think you should have an answer ready for next time someone says something so daft. ?
Bloody nora Sue and Carys, we have some more winning quotes! It just amazes me how some people mouths work b4 tbeir minds! Idiots!!!
I’m still thinking about the face the Tesco woman pulled! Not sure if she will let on next time or try to be nicer:0 Yet, I shouldnt have to avoid it and I ki d of blame myself for telling her!
Anyway, at least we get away with bobble hats in winter when I dont want to wear my wigs and I dont come across with ‘Is it bad hair day today?’ Like I did in September!
ann
Im quiet happy staying in in this weather anyway. Dont feel as if Im losing out too much and need to stsy away from colds etc! Had my flu jab and still trying to hang on in there b4 last treatment next week??Hope you are ok.xx
Just read through tbis thread and nodding me head, yet as Carys sais…its to the point when its almost funny! Sometimes we just need to laugh it off but it is soooo hard at times. Lets hope we dont get any more idiotic statements but if we do, we can come on here and let out our frustration without anyone getting offended because we all understand each other??
hi everyone what about this one ,when i was talking to a friend about that i might have to have my boob removed and i was talking about it to sort of prepare myself in case it happened ,her response was oh just have it off because you can have a new one and then went on to talk about how she wanted to have a boob job herself to make them bigger well for one that boob was my boob and my husband named them both when we met after a while that is and for me i really wanted to keep georgie and i thought it was an insult to people who have bc going on about a bigger boob job for herself when so many ladies have lost their breasts i was very lucky i got to keep mine i didnt say anything back i just thought you have no idea stupid thing to say though xxxxx and its weird knowing part of georgie has gone but i still love my boob even if its dented and a bit smaller
Little fairy
What a stupid rhing for her to say. She has a choice, we dont sometimes. Im glad tou kept Georgie, what is the other called ‘Porgie’? ?
Not had many silly remaeks as been home resting after last cycle but I didnt like it when someone just turned up for a visit wirhout any notice. I had no hat on, in my nighty and just prepared lunch. I panicked but she left after saying she was just in the area. I dont think people understand how paranoid and low confidence we feel sometimes when not prepared. Hope all feeling ok.xx