Hi Doz hope you enjoy your meal lovely, I don’t BELIEVE IT!!??? I had a filling which fell out during chemo but dentist refused to do it till I had finished chemo as it wasn’t giving me any pain I didn’t mind then in Feb had it done it has just fallen out and guess where I am going? Just to make things even worse another tooth at the back has woken me the last two nights with a niggle and just feeling round with my tongue I can feel a hole between them so looking like I am getting two done!!! total mystery lovely but I do think that our drugs cause it and I have a sort of salty taste still on my lips as well from time to time it makes everything taste yuck!!! Even chocolate!!! Now that is bad!!!
Well done Cackles with the last tax! yep you are definitely a butterfly! So onwards and upwards all flutterbys together! Big hugs all round Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Emmy
I think if I hadn’t been told my percentage results I probably wouldn’t have asked either, just wanted to get it all done with. Aww, having IBS to top it all is awful - roll on number 18, it can’t come quick enough! My memory, huh. I was on the phone to a relative and leading up to telling her something and I just couldn’t remember it. I paused and said “Why am I telling you this?” I never remembered, even after putting the phone down! As I’m finished with Herceptin I’m wondering if my memory will get any better!
Oh Doz
I don’t think the sleep thing helps my memory one bit. I have to get up and then try again. It mostly works but sometimes I find myself tossing & turning with thoughts running riot. Don’t burn yourself out, butterfly. Ha Ha, I looked through the curtains recently only to find my neighbour opposite doing exactly the same!!
Whoopee, Cackles, on your last Tax. Hope you will begin to feel a bit better. Do you have Herceptin to follow?
Hugs to everyone - Errmm… what did you say your names are ???
Absently yours, Amnesia Ami xx
Ha ha ha!!! Janey Sadie?? Ernie… AAH Ami thats it 
There’s a song in this somewhere… Where in this together-Simply Red!
The memory is now just an old friend me thinks!! I,m always doing it!!! as for sleeping I think i,ve mentioned somewhere before I,ve never been a good sleeper at the best of times but now its rediculous… I was prescribed Zopiclone but i,ve tried so hard not to rely on it as I wonder if its proper sleep?? Or just a knock out!
So I do try my best to go without tho on saying that just recently its been a regular trip downstairs or carry on reading into the wee hours… My best sleep is between 4 and 9 which is a bummer if I have to be at work for 6.45am 
Hi Em or should I say gummy chummy You poor love I can empathize with you totally… my teeth have been iffy since being on these wonderful?? drugs. Tho the back one that broke was filled about 20 yrs ago with white filling and has been brilliant till this yr its been sensitive and aching a bit since I munched on some brandy snap around a month back… think I must have fractured it then as on saturday night the whole corner just broke of… no pain just fell apart!! I,m at Dentist this afternoon… I am sooo keeping my fingers crossed they dont want to take it out today as I wont be able to have my xmas meal SOB!!! It,ll be ok if they can build it up??? but I will postpone it if its a gonner!!!
I,m falling to bits I think!!!
At least its “partly” stopped me thinking about Thursday and the BIG day… S**T just remembered again AAAAAAAAAARRRGH!!! I,m now at the stage where everytime I think about it I get my flying tummy… the green apple quick steps!!! YUP I dont like flying either!!!
What a wuss!!!
Love to my flutterby friends thankyou for letting me ramble…on and on and on and… what was I saying???
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXHUGSXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hi- not been on much last few days! In fact this is my first day in for a fortnight- out gallivanting - oh and shopping.
Fireman Bill has started decorating!!! When am I going to get tree up? I’m not going to stop him though because paint has been lying for almost a year when everything came to a stop - can’t believe it’s almost a year!
My latest flutterby escapade was last week when I lost 3 Christmas presents I was about to wrap. My wadrobes, cupboards and drawers are now all tidy as I emptied every one -only for fireman Bill to find them in the outside bin !
Sorry about all your tooth losses- pity the tooth fairy doesn’t come to adults.
I took the sleeping tabs during Chemo - after a fight to get them- but have never needed them since - in fact I could sleep for Scotland!
My memory is scary- go to say a word and it disappears and I’m not on anything!
Better go and get something done,
Margaret x x x
Hi Marym
Sorry but the present escapade did make me laugh I,ve never actually binned things but oh yes certainly will admit to loosing them!! Or putting the coffee cannister in the fridge… going upstairs to do something only to have to go back down and re.trace my steps to find out why…but the best one as were all finding is loosing that one word that will finish a sentence!!!
Go for it girl all that gallivanting… I wish I had the energy as for shopping I feel like screaming I cant cope with the rush and masses of people pushing and barging past… next year!!! now thats a different story one hopes
Xmas meal was fabulous and Daniel was more in bits than me when he saw the effort we,d put into making it special Vikki did us proud with dinner (I was bannished) I was,nt even allowed to do the pots!!
Tooth is still intact woohoo!! Dentist smoothed the rough bit off and did a bit of filling and it was fine
So all in all a really good day all round…
Just need thursday to go the same ooooer!!!
Love to all you flutterbys old and new hope your all well and flying high xxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxx
Hi Ladies,
I really think that after all the chemo/rads etc has finished is the hardest part. Reading your posts have resinated with me so much. I finished chemo in August and am only now on Anastrazole. My ‘noob’ is now very neat and I don’t feel inclined to have a boob job to make me symmetrical again - don’t sweat the small stuff as one of you ladies said. Then a feeling crept up on me that something was missing - my old self. I feel you have to grieve for the person you were before you were dx with BC. Grieving can be a long process and you have to go through all the stages. Depression and anger are all part of it. There are days though when I think, ‘haven’t you done well!’ After the chemo and the se’s that went with it, I think we could all give ourselves a pat on the back and congratulate ourselves on a job well done. But on other days, I find I am so apathetic and I sit around doing sod all most of the day. My saviour at the moment is swimming. With the Anastrozole and what went before, I had put on 2 Stones and felt fat and old. I decided that I would have to do something about it and joined a gym. Now I swim every weekday morning. I do 60 - 70 lengths and then 10 minutes on the cross-trainer. I can’t tell you the difference it has made! I feel less slothful and have much more energy. My hot sweats have become so much better and I haven’t felt depressed since I started. I can’t say the weight is falling off me but I am gradually going down. When I started on 15 Oct, I was 10 Stones 10 lbs. I am now 10 Stones 5 lbs, so nothing drastic, but at least I have not put any more on and I feel more ‘myself’. I know that swimming will not do it for everyone but some physical exercise, whatever it may be, works wonders.
All the best to everyone struggling with the post-BC blues. Hopefully we can look to the future and see ourselves enjoying life again pretty soon.
Sue xx.
Thanks for letting me become a flutterby girls. Your posts are so supportive of each other. It is so strange I broke a tooth on my first chemo session but luckily it was ok and didn’t cause any ulcers. I did have a quick panic tHough . Now in two weeks I can get it filled at last…Fantastic
I think anybody with a cancer diagnosis should be able to have sleeping pills… We all can cope so much better for a bit of sleep. So don’t feel guilty just relax and have a good nights zzzzzzz. Zopliclone leaves a horrible taste in my mouth …has anybody else had that problem?
I am going into hibernation until the risk of neutropaenia is over. Only two weeks then salad . Shell fish, fresh cheese, rare meat . etc. the best thing of all will be to have the Hickman out and a soak in a deep bath rather a wash in a puddle.
How long does the sore fingers and toes last after Tax? They are so tender.
Sleep well
Cackles
Hi Cackles
You ARE a flutterby honey a fully fledged one
We all support each other as you have with the girls on here and vice versa… it does,nt take much to become one ha ha… a few missing words in everyday sentences… a bad day… a good day… not sleeping… a sitiuation that makes you want to scream/laugh/cry and the most important one a BC traveller!!! all welcome
I didnt realize you were still the recipient of the dreaded Hickman line, I was lucky enough to not have to go through that bless ya xx but I do deal with patients at work who have them so I do empathize with you in wanting a bath… Stinky :)sorry I didnt mean that
I get a bad taste too when I take Zopiclone but I think its just the tablet it tastes absolutely foul… maybe try taking it really quickly so your taste buds dont grab it?? it is foul so I know where your coming from!
We all want a running commentary the day you get to eat all the scrumptious food hon go for it girl, but go easy to start off with
we dont want you with an iffy tummy!
Take good care of yourself during the next 2 weeks… weathers bloody awful so get the PJs out and chill and keep posting xxxxxxxxx
Welcome Sue
You are so right in the grieving part I think I can speak for all the lovely ladies on here after getting to know them and from what they have said… tho it is hard sometimes to say goodbye to who you were I guess thats the denial part of grieving especially when your still the same person but just dont feel the same in the greater scheme of things.
Swimming and exercise is brilliant it gives out happy endorphines… when you,ve got the get up and go to do it ha ha! mine gets up and goes without permission!!!
I am honoured to have got to know the ladies on here and to hear the journey they are on and have taken, some with great difficulty some with ease but each and everyone of you are getting there… we all go at a different pace but we will get there flutterbys BIG hugs xxxxHUGxxx Doz
welcome Sue to the flutterbys they have been a great help to me and Iam feeling so much happier just to know I am not alone.
Hello Doz just to let you know you will be in my thoughts tomorrow as you have the dreaded appointment but especially as your son goes to Afghanistan I pray he will stay safe and the time goes over okay till you welcome him home again.
Hope the rest of you flutterbys are okay I am off to get the hair dyed cut and styled so will feel good for a few hours at least. Big hugs to you all jmr xxxxxxxxx
You have done it Doz the first anniversary… One Hurdle over … Fantastic
Hi Jmr
Bless you and thankyou… its been a hard few days celebrating one minuite then coming down to earth with such a bang tonight having said our goodbyes… (for now) and sad to say I CRIED… the flood gates opened and I could,nt stop He filled up too so we were a right pair. It will be an experience for him and i,m sure (hoping) the time will fly, He,s 29 but still my baby
At least it took my mind off tomorrow… GULP, just remembered!!!
Oh well we,ve been through worse and i,ve resigned myself to gritting my teeth when the clamps get close!!! Enough of that i,m getting the collywobbles…
Glad to hear your having a make over you will feel so good afterwards I didnt want to go home when I had mine cut a few weeks back! So enjoy it xxxxxx
Cackles… not quite there yet but i,ll remember your post when I,m there hon xxxxx
Love to all you flutterbys I,ll post tomorrow night to tell you how a wuss got on xxxxhugxxxx
Hi everyone
Doz, I think the more we worry about not sleeping the worse we are, don’t you think? I’m always creeping around at the dead of night. I doubt if you’ll read this before your mammo Thursday, as I’m late. For some reason I haven’t been able to post the message and have had to retype. Internet connection’s been playing up all night. Sooo… I hope you go on Ok and they’re gentle with you. I have to go next Thursday to see onc. I’m wondering what he’ll say after 6 months!! I’ll be thinking of you.
Marym, Love the story of the Xmas presents! I have a tendancy to chuck secateurs (don’t know if I’ve spelled it right?) away with the clipping, arghhh!
Sue, big hello and welcome. I’m awarding you a bin lid medal for losing some weight. I also think I look older with extra weight. What with the hair and weight I hate what I see in the mirror. It just doesn’t look like me. I had a bug a few weeks ago and I felt pretty awful. I’m just beginning to get the energy back and threatening to jump on the Wii board and - yes- I know it’ll tell me off.
Oh Cackles - Aww, none of us need permission to become a flutterby - we just are, aren’t we? Just by the very word. Sums all of us up.
Jmr. Hope you like your new hairdo. I haven’t had mine cut yet. I’ve been trying to grow it into some reasonable length for styling. At the moment it seems to have stopped growing but it looks ok when I’ve given it a good styling myself, so I keep on trucking.
Hugs to all, Ami xx
ami be very careful you could turn into a beautiful moth!! My husband helped someone with a phobia by telling them moths were butterfly’s with furry coats!I am taking my sleeping tabs and getting up later each day! But I am allowed a late one was in work for half day yesterday! I sent a PM to Doz and am thinking of her,I will till she lets us know how she gets on.What a lot to put up with in one week! I am sure she will have all the flutterbys there with her in thought!
I was chuckling at the xmas pressie story it took me back to when the children were small and I was constantly running out of tea spoons, only to find they had been chucking them away with their yoghurt pots!!!
Wow Sue impressed I can’t swim for starters and don’t have the energy for another , amazing woman we are all agape well done with the weight loss! Funny we were all talking about the memory thing? I was in stupid tears trying to find a birthday card I knew I had bought for my grandson’s birthday this weekend??? Found it…erm… in my bag! I must have put it there to remember but had the whole house up looking! Poor hubby just goes with the flow (good job) and just says nothing!
Well sitting in my PJ’s nice as it is won’t do got to take said card to daughters then get some food shopping ! Take care flutterbys catch you all later xxxxEmxxxx
A L L C L E A R
WOO HOO AND FIDDLY DI DE DUM
I,m soooo relieved… I hardly slept last night tho not surprising with Daniel leaving and everything bouncing around the old grey matter… even though there,s not much to bounce around anymore! ha ha!!
I got up and drove there very calmly almost resigned to hear bad news I was still really calm in the waiting room pretending to read… as you do! Then they came for me for the mammogram and I started shaking and sweating and got a hot flush all at once and do you know… IT DIDNT HURT anymore than normal WHAT A WUSS!!!
Then another session of pretending to read and I was called in to see the consultant, she gave me my results straight away and all is clear I then burst into tears and I dont know why, she sat and talked to me and when I told her about the past couple of weeks she gave me a half hug. . .the other half Consultants dont obviously do she was so lovely tho and told me to go and treat myself on the way home… so I did I bought a packet of chocolate cookies from Waitrose and i,ve just had 2!!!
So flutterbys when your time comes dont sweat cos it really is,nt so bad its just waiting for the results and i,m praying you get them straight away… xxx
Ami
you are right about the sleep or lack of it! the more we worry the worse it is, its a case of trying to chill when you go to bed…
I spoke to a Nurse today as i,m still part of an omgoing trial with Letrozole and they needed my permission to use my bloods for more tests and she asked how I was doing I told her about the lack of sleep and she said DONT go to bed till your tired then read, no tv as it stimulates and no caffiene for 3/4 hrs before bedtime!!
Thats me stuffed then
I have an appointment in Jan with the breast care team to talk about living with and beyond cancer and voicing concerns so i,ll chat with them about s/e and all the things we,ve chatted about on here… lets see what they come up with flutterbys xx
Thankyou all for your brilliant support and kindness you are all very special to me my butterfly babes… I,m getting all mushy now so will close sending you all my love and massive big hugs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi there lovely Flutterbies,
Thanks for the welcome to your exclusive club. I hope you didn’t feel I was bragging about the swimming, it is just that it made such a difference to the way I felt that I thought it might be an option for those in the grip of depression and apathy -as I was! I am getting a bit obsessed with the weight thing. I weigh myself every day after my swimathon and most of the time it is downwards but only by ounces. - not much I suppose but there are other advantages to the exercise too. I find that I am sleeping so much better. Up until recently I could listen to the radio all night with no sign of sleepiness. Now I wake in the morning having had a lovely sleep and feel so much better. My memory is better too. I don’t know if that is because I have to concentrate so much to count the lengths but I do know that the memory lapses have decreased somewhat. I hate taking medication and resent having to take the Anastrazole so when I was prescribed Venlafaxin for the hot sweats I picked up the prescription but haven’t even started it yet. I have found that they are so much improved now and I am giving the swimming credit for that too. I really think exercise should be given on prescription - you know, a few free passes to a gym/swimming pool instead of paying for medication.
Oh and Doz, all my best wishes to your son. My eldest was in the Army and went to Iraq in 91. I have never been so worried in my life (and that includes my recent BC). He is still with us and just as ugly so my thoughts go with all the boys that are still fighting abroad. There is a march of the lads that have recently come back from Afganistan, through Leicester this afternoon and I really wanted to go and wave them in but I have visitors this afternoon so I will just say a prayer for them.
All the best to your boy and it won’t be long before you are putting the banners up for him coming back.
Sue. xx
Hi Sue
Thanks flutterby and no we dont think anyone is bragging when they find something that works so you keep it up girl its good for us all to share… one day i,ll be in competition with you as to how many lengths i,ve done… thats if I can remember Ha ha!!!Knee,s improved tons so i,ll be in training soon
Daniel is working with the Troops not actually a soldier tho he is staying on the same camps he,s with a company who test all the Electrical equipment for the soldiers and will be in tents with them all, tho that does,nt make me feel any easier… as its still very volatile where he is… but it was his choice to go and he,s got my blessings if it helps the boys out there, its just the reality of where he is that scares me… i,m sure he will be fine and it wont be too long (8 months) then he,ll be home…
Keep it up Sue and keep sending any good tips to get rid of the excess weight… love from a chubby flutterby xxhugxx Doz
Thanks for the welcome. Its great to have a safe place to talk without sounding like moaning. Just wanted to ask if anyone else has had side effects of chemo that have lasted like mine. I finished chemo then had rads back in april but still have problems caused by the treatment. I really struggled with chemo and afterwards it affected my thyroid so i now have to take thyroxine for an underactive thyroid. it also caused me to produce excessive acid in the stomach so I am still stuck with omeprazole every day. Also rads affected saliva production so I have a dry mouth all the time. All in all its a bit rubbish as I had none of these things before the treatment and no-one has any idea when they will get better if at all. Would appreciate any comments as i struggle to talk to anyone about these things as it sounds like a moan but in reality it is a cry for help…
Hi everyone
Doz - What great news about your results!! I bet your on a real high and it must have been a huge relief when they told you there and then. Well done flutterby! I had to wait for mine to arrive in the post, and like you, I burst into tears, I couldn’t help it, it was such a relief. Sleep - I get later and later going to bed in order to be tired yet it doesn’t always work and someone said don’t read, but it’s all about what works for you I guess. I think its often psychological with me. The best thing I found to get off to sleep is a meditation CD which totally relaxes you, but not if I get up during the night. I’ve not heard of help with ‘living with and beyond cancer‘, sounds interesting! Our support and kindness as you say is no more than you have given us all on here. You have a very relaxed and compassionate way which I admire not only in you but in Emmy and others on here, because we all share the same thing. Ha ha, don’t know about Butterfly Club soon be Mutual Admiration Society!
Sue - I love the Exclusive Club bit, makes us all sound very grand!! I agree with all you say about exercise affecting your sleep, memory etc. I the past when I’ve got my mind set to click I find it really does work. Now I’m beginning to see the old self coming back with the addition of experience from BC, if that makes sense and support from the lovely girls on this site. Don’t let the ‘click’ wear off, keep up the swimming, I really admire your stamina!
Emmy - Funny isn’t it how we get creeps about moths but not butterflies. Must get my furry coat bought for the winter nights! I’m also getting up later due to staying up late until I’m tired, but the dark mornings don’t help. Got up this morning and said “o.m.g I look like a scarecrow!” My husband said “Well don’t go down the garden then. I asked “Why not?” He said “Cos you’ll frighten the birds!”
Hugs to all, Ami xx
Hi Ami
Scarecrow…
I think not flutterby slap him for me
I,m wavering now between high and low but i,m sooo tired and now at a relaxed state of mind for the first time in weeks…Its called shattered I think?
At least I got chance to pass on my news to Daniel… he was over the moon for me and I guess it was a relief for him too…
You are right what works for one is,nt always good for others, I will pass on any info from the meeting in Jan, but its a long time to wait sorry, if I come up with anything else you,ll be the first to know hon, the nurse did say our bodies sleep when they need too maybe were just people who dont need a lot? frustrating as that is I will get a good night after 2/3 bad nights!!
I have taken Night Nurse on the odd occasion and my god you get an amazing sleep but like the Zopiclone I dont want to find myself relying on it so it only comes out when I really need it… its a Nurses tip when we,ve worked nights and need some decent sleep during the day
Well Flutterbys one and all This Mutual Admiration Society is ok by me look how far we,ve come if thats what it takes then thats what we,ll give… along with yet more BIG hugs
xxxxHUGSxxxx
Hi Sinaed
Sorry flutterby I missed your post so busy talking about myself… selfish or what!!
I didnt have chemo but did have R/Therapy which floored me…
Im on Letrozole which causes a really dry mouth so along with the rads I guess were a bit the same… I type better than I talk now!!!
I finished R/T in Feb and still suffer a bit, it must be common as the Living with and Beyond Cancer team gave me a questionaire to fill in for my app, with them in Jan, and its all about how we are coping/or not and any s/e which are still bothersome and hey ho half way down the side effects is Dry/Sore mouth so it must be common tho that does,nt help when its affecting us eh!!
All in all your right it is all bloody rubbish what we have to endure and i,d be worth millions if I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away but I can only tell you your not alone and I,m hoping sometime in the very near future we,ll all be writing OMG do you remember when we used to moan our heads off… So moan away flutterby we all do it and we all listen thats why were here…
Bless you honey dont stop posting i,m sure more of these lovely ladies will answer your questions too xxxxxxxhugsxxxxxx