Hi Em
Sooooo glad you had a good night you really deserve it after all you’ve been through and still going through… you did so well flutterby with the crowd of revellers… I almost freaked at one point fri night, I just could’nt stand all the noise!!! I wanted to tell every one to shut up just for 5 mins… that would’nt have gone down well eh! 
Reflexology does work but there is no way anyone is going near my tootsies ha ha!!! Nurses feet are not the prettiest of sights, tho I would love to go I just could’nt get them out!!!
Thankyou soooo much for the flutterby it made me fill up when I opened it and yes were in this together come rain or shine xxxx
Had a couple of wierd days not felt myself at all?? I know friday night didnt help but it should have definately worn off by now??
Head feels not quite with it tho its got me through 3 shifts so maybe its not so bad?
I,ve been given tomorrow off (hours owing woo hoo!!)
Hope your all well the weather needs to make its blinking mind up…
its a bit like me one min warm next min freezing…
Enjoy the PJ’s DG’s and blankets girls knowing Britain it’ll get cold again soon…xxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxx
Doz
Have you come out of the Zombie state?? He He! You talk of slowing down, I didn’t realise either, how much I’ve slowed down, lately. I do hope I pick up when the weather picks up! Can’t seem to motivate myself in the winter. And, like you, I can’t stand loud noise! Aren’t I a great inspiration to others?? Sorry to hear Daniel is feeling ill, being away from his country and familiar surroundings when you’re like that must be awful. I hope by now he’s a bit better. As for you working, I think you have to ease yourself back into work. You feeling unwell isn’t surprising. I think the change, trying to get back to normality, certainly takes it’s toll.
Emmy
Woopee. It’s so great to hear you had a good time, even though you had to go to bed early! It’s just the same for your hubby, after what you‘ve been through, I imagine, having a relaxing time. It’s great, isn’t it, to find everything is O.K. again - and mundane! Things are lovely! Your next Herceptin: I remember how worried I was last year when the snow fell & I didn’t know if I would get there, but so were the nurses. Most of them walked to work several miles to treat us, which I’m gratetful. About reflexology: I believe, and I think there is a lot we don’t understand about the body, and B.C. is certainly one of the them. I’ve changed a few of my eating patterns, not that I ate terribly before.
I’ve been reading about trials where groups of BC women met up with others to chat. The ones that did this lived longer!! So, woohoo, we should be well away, O.K, don‘t you think?
Hugs to everyone, Ami xx
Hi Ami
Daniel is homesick not actually poorly tho I think homesickness can make you feel so low… Its just the distance and lack of things to do thats getting to him, he’s a very sociable lad and from having his own place and group of friends to being tucked away in the camp miles from anywhere with very little recreation its hit him quite hard, the job is what he is used too but being in a totally different enviroment is taking some getting used to.
He’s not able to talk to anyone from home now he’s tucked away in camp all he can do is send messages on email so its a bit hard for him bless him tho i’m sure he’ll get used to it eventually 
I have definately slowed down I have been back at work since March, initially then my knee put me back for 6 weeks but as the winter comes I find my enthusiasm for doing anything has dwindled… I make plans to do things then it goes to pot and before I know it the day has almost passed… and the PJ’s seem to find their way into my head I, like you hope this passes I feel like the winner of 2011 Couch potato Competition ha ha!!! And that has definately got my enthusiasm!!!
Sleep well flutterbys and stay well xxxhugxxx
Love you ami I am more than sure we are doing ourselves a power of good putting our thoughts down ,sharing our ups and downs! I have become less stressed and love that I don’t have to explain myself, out of all the crap during the last year this site has become an amazing support and source of santuary! I love that we have come together and found friends who help keep us sane. Today has been a mix of work and tears as it was two years ago today I lost my mum so has been a strange one, had to have my sensible head on then it caught up with me when I came home, funny I so wanted her here with me but at the same time was glad she wasn’t cancer was her biggest fear but she had pnemonia after having a bug ,I am glad to be honest 'cos she would never have coped! Bless her she was rotten with any illness and ran away from needles! I guess that’s where my phobia came from. Well lovelies it’s been a long one night,night flutterbys Em xxxx
Emmy love
My thoughts were with you its not an easy time especially when your supposed to be building up to the xmas festivities
I cant believe its been so long since loosing mine and it has,nt got easier no matter how many yrs go by and my Mum was the same she caught pneumonia after having the flu… would’nt give in and with Dad poorly she pushed herself to the limit
Mothers are the most precious of commodities just remember she will never know sadness or heartache again and i’m sure we gave them lots of both xxxxxxx
This site has been the best thing that came out of BC for all the reasons you so cleverly put… for once its left me speechless as to the support and kindness i’ve had… “second to none”
love to all you flutterbys as the hols approach I wish you well and happy xxxxxhugsxxxxx
Emmy, reading your post I really feel for you today. It makes me think of my own mum who will have been gone 2 yrs in March. I see or hear something and momentarily think - I must tell her! But of course I can’t. You only ever have the one and we miss them, don’t we? She just kept telling me that she loved me very much. I now know why. She knew before me, deep down, she didn’t have long to live. I feel teary now after reading you and Doz.
Doz it’s only natural that Daniel feels the way he does. It will have been harder than ever he imagined once he’d got there. Homesickness does make you feel ill, but he’ll no doubt get better and better, given time, but you must worry and knowing you are so helpless must make you feel sick at this end.
As for slowing down, I can happily watch the world go by. When the feeling comes over us to do something, Flutterbys, ha ha, just lay down and rest until it passes!!
Well, Emmy, if you had a phobia about needles before BC, you no doubt will have got used to them by now, we’ve had that many, one way and another, by the end of Herceptin!!
Hope you both have a better day!
Hugs, Ami xx
Hi ami sorry didn’t mean to make you cry! It is true though and strangely enough my mum kept saying that when I saw her as we lived 125 miles away so didn’t get to see her as much as I should with full-time job etc. I felt so bad and at the time I got the call from my sis I kept saying no she can’t I haven’t wrapped her presents yet!! The mind is a funny thing 'cos I find myself doing the same we would stay up for hours just talking and hubby along with my lovely step dad used to go to bed and leave us to it!
I don’t think being this time of the year helps does it?
As for the needle phobia it is still there not as extreme as mum’s but the nurses are so aware and do their best to get it in one ugh!!! Nope still don’t like them but it’s a must so I do try not to be a wuss!
Doz slowing down is an option I am with ami on the if you feel something coming on go and lie down till it passes! I think I must get into some form of training for next year! Hmmm??? Not sure where to start we are natural stay at homes anyway! I do like to see people but nowadays on my terms I can’t cope very well with crowds as a rule but I think the spot we sat was perfect I could look around if I wanted but was so busy chatting I never gave it a thought till going past them all to go to bed! It was however very good natured and I got my leg pulled for some chap coming up and saying Hi! The girls all laughed and said I had pulled!! No chance I quite like my old man he is a good 'un!
Well I am now getting ready to go to work for the last time till Jan4th so better get sorted! Will drop in later so stay warm and safe flutterbys! Big hug Em xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear flutterbys… I am emerging from my pit today to take my mother the 120 round miles for her weekly shopping. She is 86yrs and totally fit in mind if not in body but even then I think she could do more exercise. Your comments about your mothers will help me guard my tongue when she has a grouse at her very helpful friends and neighbours. As an only daughter I am all she has really, but like most elderly people she can have tunnel vision! My breast cancer was treated as an inconvenience to her weekly outings. In the end I showed her “”“you had a lovely head shape as a baby”“”“”, now I get told to slow down!!! Our wigs and smiles hide what we feel like so well. C…p and insecure. Also I am threatening her 'sick role" so today’s trip is to pick up her prescription ready for Christmas, but something will be left out of it to cause a further visit ASP.Every year she comes to us for at least four days over the festivities and every year she pretends nobody has asked her grrrrrrrr.
I must not complain thank you girls.
Doz so sorry Daniel is homesick I remember it well on many occasions during my training. It soon goes when you get busy.
Emmy my dearest husband like yours could do with a good relax. Fingers crossed he can have one soon. He has "man flu " at the moment and obviously lost his bank cards etc while taking out a tissue yesterday…just what you don’t need at this time of year. Poor chap has gone off with one of my credit cards and £66 in his pocket. So I won’t be getting an Elizabeth Taylor diamond this year!!!
Take care and have good holiday all of you
Cackles xx
EM YOU LUCKY DUCK… BUTTERFLY
All that rest and relaxation makes me sooooooo jealous my last shift before xmas day is a 12 hr shift on xmas eve… then back on a late shift boxing day… at least i’ll get a lie in
There’s always something we think we could have done better when Mum’s are concerned but they knew they were loved… My Uncle messaged me the other day He’s 91 he said he’s been dreaming about my Dad lately when he used to come home from Burma and they’d have a few nights out together and get up to all sorts of mayhem… he said just remember Doz the memories help us to live on… OMG I filled up AGAIN… But he was right bless him.
And yes Ami… i’ll heed your words on xmas day i’ll think about what needs doing… till it passes ha ha!!!
Hi Cackles I,m sure you’ll have a good day with your Mum they do get a bit self centered but hey why not your poor hubby loosing things at this time of the yr is the worst possible time… My daughter went out on Monday night after work with her work mates and came in at 3!!! she woke me up telling me her phone had been stolen could I ring 02 to cancel her contract…(she was rather incoherant!) so I dragged my sorry butt out of bed and did the deed while she cooked herself a bacon and mushroom sarny!! We finally got to bed at 4 and when I got up what did I find in the kitchen near the cooker… HER PHONE!! AAAARGH!! Had to ring to get her service back… she had to be at work at 10 and when she got up she could’nt remember any of it or the sarny… now thats worrying ha ha!!!
It was her first night out since mid nov when Daniel left so i’ll forgive her this one!!
Well flutterbys Physio in an hour then a late shift is on the menu for today…
Stay warm… tho its not too bad at the moment, Have a brill last day at work Em, love to you ALL xxxhugsxxx
Wow a ducky flutterby!! What a mix I can just see that!!! Doz only you!!!
Cackles I know what you are saying believe it or not I loved my mum to pieces but she drove me right up the wall sometimes!! I honestly could have screamed when she was ‘always right’ but do you know what? that all makes me smile now and I guess I drive mine crazy at times too it is a natural process I think, as I said I loved her but could never have lived with her she was a delight sometimes and no would never have coped with my illness I think it may have been me soothing her whilst mayhem was going round!! It doesn’t matter how old you are I suppose we are all a bit eccentric we just don’t realise it! we all are thankfully human and bless you 4 whole days! :)))) It’s funny how without realising it we do end up like them (in some things!) I have her fighting spirit (I hope) she had severe arthritis and now I see her in myself shuffling round in the mornings and having swollen hands to some extent I now realise what she was going through and she refused pain relief! I am not that brave bring it on after everything else we have had I can appreciate what our meds can do for us!!
Well Doz that’s me done for now got Herceptin tomorrow (please veins be nice!) then hopefully free till 4th Jan just hope the tum behaves,going on past experience that ain’t gonna happen!! never mind at least I am prepared these days!
Got food delivery today and just pop into town for some veg and that’s me DONE! Yay! I hope Santa is kind to you Cackles and anyway you didn’t really want a stonking big diamond did you? It would only get in the way and worry you when you went out!!! Bless I hope he comes up with something nice, it is a pig when cards go walkies not so much the cards but the total messing that goes with it!
Wrap up I think it is going to chuck down here looking at this dark sky!!! So just pick up hubby then wait for food then watch a film and not thinking about tomorrow till I get to it! Take care flutterbys!! Em xxxxxxxxx
Whoopie!! Done in one, mind you inside of wrist but don’t care that’s one more under my belt and two thirds of the way there! I was a bit bothered as they have used the same vein for over half the treatments and there was a muttered conversation about leaving that alone for now as they don’t want it to collapse! So no idea where next??? Going to put it all on the back burner and just enjoy Christmas may even have room for a couple of glasses, first since DX so if you hear someone has been seen somewhere staggering to the Pogues that will be ME! What song makes you feel like Christmas? Just thought it would be a good one to share? Well going to be kind to me for now and go get them there PJ’S and snuggle before the tum kicks off!!! Take care all Em xxxxxxxxxx
WOOHOO well done Em and give those veins a nice cuddle I hope this time round the tummy behaves!!!
I was thinking about you today as I was fighting my way round the shops to get the last of my shopping done… you would have been screaming with me AAAARGH!!! It was B****Y mayhem!!
Then just as I thought I was sorted and all pressies/food bought… I went home after being at the shops nearly 2 hrs, I unpacked and fridged it all went to get my sisters bag of presents/card (to go for lunch with her at her house as she is almost housebound with Arthritis) I got halfway there (12 miles) and realized i’d left her xmas card on the fireplace another AAAARGH!! so had to stop in Hull which was grid locked with traffic on the main run through… I finally got to stop at a large store to get her another card… that took 25 mins in the queue I was beside myself by the time I got out I started with a panic attack not a fully blown one but felt absolutely drained Finally got to my sisters 45mins late…
Home now in PJ’s too Em totally pooped! At least I can say with gusto I AM ALL DONE NOW… YEH!!!
Tomorrow i’m staying in said PJ’s not doing anything but relax and gee myself up for my first double shift xmas eve… which is usually a nice time to be at work so hey ho i’m sorted
I hope your all ready now and dont have to fight your way through anymore shopping trips its horrid!! We all say it but its such a build up just for a few days and we still do it ha ha!!! Enjoy Flutterbys xxxx Have an amazing Xmas thankyou all so much for your friendship/support and contributions and who knows maybe we will all finally get to see “where we went” in 2012… hope to post before then but just in case I dont get chance flutterbys
HAVE A VERY MERRY XMAS and you’ll have plenty to write about when the foods been eaten and the wine’s been drank
Em I will not bail you out if you get drunk and disorderly and pulled in on your way to the Pogues :)ha ha you go for it sweetie x
My favourite xmas song… please dont tell me off
I’M DREAMIN OF A WHITE XMAS eeeek!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXHUGSXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Doz
Oh Cackles - poor you. 120 miles?? Is this every week, is there no alternative? You have my sympathy but it sounds as though you understand your mum so well and I think that’s brilliant! It’s a fact….it’s only when they’re gone we miss them. My mum always had time for me and would worry about me no end. Thank God she never knew about my BC.
Marvellous Emmy! Another one done with. Lay back now over Christmas and enjoy those couple of drinks. Hope the tums OK though and you enjoy your dinner. Had to laugh one time when the nurse exclaimed, “Ooh, juicy veins!” Didn’t stop them once trying 5 times, though.
Doz, you’ll meet yourself coming back, you will!! All that rushing around. As for tomorrow, I’ve yet to hear whether or not you’ve stayed in you PJ’s all day and relaxed. That remains to be seen!! Keep us posted.
I know one thing Flutterbys, if my mum was still here she would say this site is exactly what I need. And as the saying goes:
A mum is one who knows all about you, but likes you anyway!
Ami xx
Flutterbys… its a quickie
YES AMI I DID ha ha… though had a little blip so had to go out first thing… I forgot the sherry for my gravy!
But back in 10 mins as I only popped round to the local store… I kept my PJ top on though under my jumper then back in them asap… I.ve decorated the table and hoovered through and now curled up on the sofa where i,m staying till bedtime!!!
Your right honey a mothers love IS unconditional and like you all I’m so glad she did’nt see the struggle I have had with BC.
Hope you’ve all been good girls so Santa comes to see you all Ho Ho Ho… MERRY XMAS darling Butterflys xxxxxxxxxxhugxxxxxxx
Hi girls hope you are all looking forward to xmas. Haven’t posted past few days as guess what been ill again with bad kidney infection. Now on the mend and feeling really good and looking forward to a nice quiet xmas.Hope you all have your wishes come true and that we can look forward to a really Healthy New Year.I braved the supermarket today and was in and out in 40 minutes 1 hour later and apparently it was chaos. How lucky was that. Well Flutterbys time for the P.Js and snuggle blanket curled up on the sofa love and big hugs Janice
Oh dear! Poor, poor you, Janice, now, a kidney infection, what a horrible setback! You must be absolutely fed up! A kidney infection is very painful I believe, so when it becomes easier just smother yourself with anything that makes life happier! Not having heard a post from you I wondered if everything was OK, flutterby. However, I’m very pleased you’re on the mend and you just have a lovely, lovely Christmas with you family and as you say a Healthy New Year! Snuggle up and spoil yourself!
Christmas Hugs, Love Ami xx
Hi Janice I did wonder where you had gone! So glad you are better for Christmas, I had the same after chemo NOT NICE! I hope you have a restful and enjoyable Christmas and Santa brings you something lovely! I would like to wish all our flutterbys a healthy,peaceful Christmas and New Year. Mahoosive hugs Em xxxxxx :))))
Thanks flutterbys you always make me feel better.By the way my favourite is the christmas song but I love all of them especially when sung by Michael Buble xxxxxx
Micky Bubble is my girls dream pressie! They hope to find him under their trees! I love all Christmas songs yes Doz even White Christmas! My grandsons and daughter have been round they are looking forward to partying! Made me tired just thinking about it but hey ho they are young good luck to them! I will have my PJs and blanket and they rule just now!
Well flutterbys off to bed just hope I sleep take care all Em xxxxx
Hi Janice
So glad your on the mend again poor love… as if you needed another setback bless ya.
Toasted you flutterbys today (not literally to wish you a very merry xmas and a healthy year full of sunshine and smiles in 2012.
PJ’s on curled up with my girl in front of the fire and recovering from staying up till 4.30am this morning to speak to Daniel only to learn from him at 9 this morning they had no connection SOB! YAWN! MORE SOBS!! But we did speak today so DAY COMPLETE
Enjoy the rest of the xmas break much love to you all xxxxxhugsxxxx