Hi Donna
There’s always room for another flutterby, so welcome! Yes, we certainly are a barmy lot and a all a bit flutterbyie.
Oh yes, I’ve had my smiley face on today. I fluttered in and out of my 2 appointments at the hospital in no time, finished early, got a taxi and the driver said I’d been a lovely passenger!! And a female at that! So now I’m reluctant to take off my smiley cardboard face………wondering now if I scared her…….did she just say it to get rid of me, I wonder?? I have a great limerick about spoons but I’m not sure I should post it, (he he) a bit risqué! Jmr: have you made your smiley mouth yet? I have some spare knicker elastic from the cobblers pants to attach at each side so you don’t lose it, if you’d like it. We had a solar water fountain for the calming effect but it made me run to the loo too often. Hope Doz’s angel wings aren’t weighing too heavy. After the taxi driver, I must say my halo’s a bit tight right now. Oh, don’t forget, you’re not supposed to play those spoons!
Hugs, Ami xx
What a wonderful thought - all us “smiling faces” - how VERY scary!!! Hugely, enormously, amazingly relieved to know I’m not on my own… standard joke if I’ve lost anything is “is it in the microwave?” cause I once put the peanut butter in there… and last year, in the process of being busy cooking for I don’t know how many a few days in a row, the tin of cat food disappeared (half left in the tin)… t’was found (several weeks later) by the electricity meter - with casserole dishes and things… ??? not lived that one down yet either…
Had lots of spoons today - work AND enough to make a cake tonight (for our volunteers)…sticky lemon… think I might make one for the Woods (no spoons needed!!) Hope i haven’t used any of tomorrow’s!!
Anyhoo… have a sleep flutterbies… if you can between the flushes!
love Jane
Hi Donna this door unlike your front door…never closes you can flutter in and flutter out anytime you want to but you have to be a bit bonkers
I went for some retail therapy… again yesterday to Meadowhall as its Vikki’s birthday this thurs, had a smile glued to my face all day even tho the spoons had run out around 5.00 and the feet were telling me no more!! I kept on smiling till a couple of young whippersnappers ran through a door entrance and nearly knocked both of us over AAARGH!!! My smile slipped a bit when the profanitys escaped!!! Little beggars didnt even apologize…tut tut!!
I think your right about the sea kelp Janice my nails are the best part of me at the moment, Vikki takes them too for S/E from Steroids (hair loss) and its working for her in the fact its not falling out anymore tho still a bit thin on top mine is quite thin but again that is a side effect of good old Letrozole i’m sure it’ll sort itself out soon??
I love walking down the river it IS very calming… tho I need plenty of get up and go as its a round trip of 4/5 miles unless I turn round… then Ben does’nt get his swim so its always a long stroll
Saw a couple of Deer on Sunday they come over when the tides low from Lincolnshire we get them round here all the time in summer as we have the shallowest part of the Humber on our doorstep…
I bought myself a beautiful white summer dress yesterday in the sale all floaty and feminine, reduced from…£134 to £60 woohoo!!! Roll on summer!! First one I tried on was a bit small?? still think i’m a size 12 (well it was’nt fitted!!) Had trouble getting it off it got stuck around the shoulders so had to call for Vikki to unravel me oooer!! 14 it is then!!!
Lazy day today Em so sending you my spare spoons hon xx
Have a good day flutterbys keep smiling… it makes people wonder what your up too
xxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxx
P.s
This forum would never have taken off without you all so I’ll take your compliments and share them out with a huge hug ((HUG))
xxxxxxxxxxx :))) smiley face!!! xx
Hello Im back, had to kick the visitor out… (only jokin)
Well shall i start introducing myself… I was diagnosed on the 23rd December 2010 (what a great christmas i had!!!), I had WLE/SNB on 12th Jan 11 then i was told my treatment plan, I had x6 FEC starting in Feb, then had MX in June, then more surgery for haemotoma in Aug, and had Rads in September. (phew)…did i really go all through that !!! plus i have had lots of niggles in between regarding scar tissue, skin peeling through rads, soreness, stiffness,pain, etc etc…
I had my annual mammagrame in december and was told that all was clear and they will see me in Dec.12…
Bye then i said skipping out the hospital,
BUT
I work as a HCA and love my job, even though i took a year out for my treatment, ive returned to work now on phased hours over a period of 8 weeks, i work full time nights,7 on 7 off…
BUT
Why oh why do i now feel sooo low and find myself crying and wanting the old Donna back? I used the cold cap which ‘saved’ most of my hair and i also wear make-up so when i look into the mirror YES it looks like me but i cant get the gremlins that are telling me ‘its going to return’ even to the point when im treating myself i ask myself ‘is it worth it’ i might die…
I have a fantastic husband (married for 28yrs) 2 wonderful sons and a truly fabulous family, who have supported me throughout,
Oh blimey ive truly gone on now, so i will leave you for now and return later, ive so much more to say but i dont want to bore you…
you are all truly wonderful ladies and i look forward to checking in later,
Hi Donna you won’t bore us and this site is here to get things off your chest and hopefully help you to understand that B.C changes you and we all have our days when we worry and get down(just read some of previous posts.We all support each other and try to lighten things up a bit when we feel down.Night shift isn’t good at the best of times I worked it for years and really if you can possibly work days you will be better off healthwise if nothing else.It was one of the reasons I didn’t return to work as night shift isn’t the most natural of shifts.How are all you other flutterbys doing, I am having one of those days so need relaxing bath and P.Js to make me feel better.Tomorrow is another day and I am going walking even if it rains as I think it is doing me good mentally as well as physically.I have an app with Plastic surgeon on Monday so maybe thats not helping my mood I just hate going to hospital.Will let you all know what he intends to do and I will have to think long and hard about further surgery even though it will probably make me feel better about myself Hugs to all and snuggle up its going to a chilly night Janicexxxxx
You are really in good company here…we all worry about whinging and boring each other but do you know we have some very amazing ladies on here who NEVER fail to support each other, we all at some point (and still do) feel different… the only words of comfort are the ones we all use to each other… your not on your own hon, and the support we all get from knowing that is second to none!! Oh and the latest word is NORMAL… eeeek!!!
Having been told last week by the BC nurse its quite NORMAL to feel like we do because of the trauma, stress and upheaval to your life that we’ve been through over the past year and the s/e from meds its good to know your not really going bonkers Not that that helps a lot when your feeling so low but as Janice said previously, we are always here to bounce things off as one of us will have been where your at and some still going through it all (most of us I promise not to mention the hot flush’s they are the most draining part of medication!! I HATE THEM WITH A PASSION!!!
I work nights too mixed in with days and agree nights really mess your Head and body clock up and not the best of shifts… tho with not sleeping well at least for me i’m doing something productive in the wee hours!!! If I had a choice I would’nt do them but hey ho we dont get a choice in the NHS…we get a mix!!
Janice you poor love I can totally empathize “with one of those days” its taken me 2 days to get over the last episode and even now still not firing on all cylinders… much better than over the weekend and still dont know why it happens as it does… completely out of the blue!! Perhaps its the appointments that trigger us off as mine started just after and its possibly yours on Monday that has layed you low bless you, being back in the thick of it all again is’nt nice after where we’ve been and with more possible surgery it must get to you xx
I did get the choice for recon, but have decided against it I think i’m quite happy living with my odd looking boob… gone are the days when they were important as long as the little sod that invaded it has gone then i’m ok but I can understand anyone wanting to go ahead, thing is i’m just a coward and the thought of more surgery as against living with it just didnt get an airing
We will be doing the virtual hug and hand holding on Monday with you and hope the decision on which way to go is’nt too hard for you… as for it making you feel better about yourself sweetie let me tell you your a beaut just the way you are be kind to yourself xxxxx
Hope all our flutterbys are well and yes get the PJ’s and snuggly blankets out and stay warm… we had snow today but the ground was still wet from yesterday and the wind has blown it into the next county so no laying… yet!! Its pretty damn cold though!!
Love and hugs all round xxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxx Doz
Always guaranteed to put a smile on my face. You’re just a breath of fresh air!
I have been a grumpy old cow at work this weekbut was making a conscious effort today not to be so grumpy.
I hope I don’t turn into a judgemental old biddy, but I feel it sucking me in. Been feeling lousy this week and felt a bit aggrieved because two colleagues were off sick with a cold. Now does the new me think that nobody has the right to be ill and say ‘actually I’ll not be in today because I’m not fit for it’ just because I’m struggling? Clearly I do lol! Mean spirited? Me? yes I think sobut promise to try and fight it though.
It is Wine Wednesday so I am allowed half a glass of red tonight! Just as well because I too decided I needed new clothes (in particular for work) but am half a stone heavier than pre treatment with swollen bazookas to boot. What an experience that was trying on my Next delivery! Kept two pairs of too tight trousers because I will ahem slim into them!
Hi everyone
Donna: Yes, looking back we can’t believe we’ve been through all the treatment we’ve had! Great that your mammo is clear. I know all too well that skipping feeling when you can’t wait to get out of the hospital. When one of my onc’s doctor told me to make an appointment for 6 months time, I said to the nurse “I could kiss him”. “So could I!”, she exclaimed, which made me laugh. Your feeling low sounds so familiar I seemed to cope really well with all the treatment and it was only after that I got really low. I couldn’t understand it when I knew I was OK. Please don’t (as you say) think you’re boring us, we need your support ‘cos then we know it’s not just us!! On here, we don’t have to say all the time “I’m fine” and put the smiley face on. It’s the ‘let it all hang out corner’.
Janice: You’re brave to consider recon. I decided not to, perhaps I’m a coward too. After MX it seems quite a big op and I don‘t think the result will be worth it. Do hope that your appointment helps you to make a decision though. As Doz says, you’re lovely the way you are!!
Crabbit: Hope this makes you feel smiley not grumpy! Someone told me that someone had had an ectopic pregnancy in their philipino tubes! Hope you won’t be as long as I’ve been threatening to lose that weight.
Hugs, Ami xx
Hello,
Forgot to say hello to Donna. Sorry you’re having a crappy time. Lots of kind words and good advice given already and I’ve nothing useful to add. Just as others have said, go easy on yourself!
Ami bless you. ‘Philipino tubes’ now I have been known to get my words in a muddle but that did indeed make this grumpy thing crack a smile.
Doz I am having a PJ day tomorrow. I’ve decided not to take my 4 year old to nursery and we are going to chill out together and be lazy! I may need to invest in another pair of comfy slippers though. The ones I am wearing suffered a little in the washing machine!
I’ll be thinking of you on Monday Janice. Hope you get the information that you need to help decide.
Oh and Ami, one pound down this week but I have two turkish delights calling my name now.
Hi all yep that would be me too FINE!!! But hell each day either brings along a new mood or another S/E of treatment! I do though have to say a massive thanks to my chemo nurse who after all this time (GP 4 times and onc 2) complained of having a really bad tummy after my ‘H’ she advised I take Piriton for 48 hours after treatment and lo and behold! yes a tummy ache but the volume turned down and for the last couple of days GONE! I had forgotten how it was to just have nothing! Well flutterbys have done my bit and have my week-end to look forward to , it is hubby’s birthday Sat so we are going for an Indian WHOOPPEEE! it has been around 2 years since we had one so I am looking forward to it. On with the PJ’s and cuddle down with my blanket tonight!
I did smile at your description of yourself Carolyn it made me think of the Grumpy old Women from TV they make me laugh mainly in recognition of the things that irritate when you get older!! Then we have all this crap to cope with on top, not a grumpy cow! just a flutterby being buffeted a little you will soon find your wings and fly!!!
I love that we can ‘pop’ on here and share so all you flutterbys who post or just watch it is good to have your company!
Hey ami I have been a good girl and kept my scary smiley face on even when everyone in the office seemed to be having some kind of breakdown when something happened and I wanted to say ‘BIG DEAL!’ I know there are worse things in life, so do we all on here but hey! I think I would have been the same pre the ‘old me’ so when I felt quite irritated I just sat with an idiotic grin on my face thinking of you all! I wonder what they really thought hmmm! I bet when I left they all looked at each other in wonder!??? Funny it doesn’t take much to rattle my cage these days but the smiley thing is a god send!!! So just going to look for some spoons for the week-end now as I think I used too many this week! I aim to enjoy our evening out, the last one with our son and daughter in law was so nice! I think we get out of the habit of socialising, I had forgotten the joys of ‘People watching’ which I used to enjoy!
I think we should be treated to a pic of your new frock Doz!? I bet you look stunning! Well off or my comfort blanket, have a peaceful week-end all and big hugs to you all Em xxxxxx
p.s Janice will be thinking of you Monday let us know how you go! xxx
Jane love your meaning of FINE ha ha
Ami love the philipino tubes I used to work with a health care who always used to get mixed up and said someone had a baby and they cut the"biblical cord" and then bless her wondered why we laughed.
Emmy enjoy your weekend and your meal and keep smiling.
To Doz Crabbit Donna and any other flutterbys have a nice weekend and plenty of spoons and silly grins big HUG Janicexxxxxxxxxxxxx
Janice: I love the biblical cord, he he he!!
Here’s another. I love her to bits, but in telling me about someone she knew, said her husband had had a ‘vestorectomy’!! The mind boggles!!!
Ami xx
ami I was reading about how someone has had a vesectomy and as I went along I read the surgeon’s name??? Heart in my mouth it’s mine!!! That blew it I know they operate on allsorts but just the thought!! Felt really odd!!! Hey found a spoon but definately got no more! Soo tired tonight so gonna sleep in, looking for a new ladle………………o
Reckon that will work! Nite flutterbys X
cut the biblical chord… there MUST be a sermon in that somewhere!!!
Driving (from London area) to Lancaster Sunday afternoon… Monday morning, driving to Glasgow… lunchtime appointment (funeral of a wonderful old lady), then driving back from Glasgow/home… and I’m on call the following day/night… Wonder if I can store spoons in my suitcase??? I have a funny feeling my body will be at work, but the rest of me might not be! Have a wonderful weekend… 13 for dinner tomorrow night, but OH is doing most of it (and the driving!) Flutter flutter…Jane
Never mind where did we go? More like where haven’t you been Jane Phew!
I got quite tired just reading that!
Doz bless you it isn’t good is it when you get so tired? I can’t think how I used to rush around and go to work full time but things sure have changed!As for your question YEP normal!
Colin says thank you! It’s his birthday and I got to buy me lots of lovely things He!He! Debenhams say no more! Other stores available!
That was quite a challenge I am not that clever with words but thought I would have a go at the Flutterby thing!so here goes!
F-Fabulous
L-Lunatics
U-Understanding
T-Tottering
T-Tittering
E-Endearing
R-Rare
B-Butterflies
Y-NOT?
Well it’s a start I wonder how many we can come up with?
I think all flutterbys are amazing and can say you have saved my sanity (for what that’s worth?)
Sending hugs to all and have a warm weekend it is COLD out there!!! Love Em xxxxxxxxx p.s still FINE!
This is us, girls!
F fragile
L lovely
U unfolding
T tropical
T tantalizing
E enchanting
R radiant
B brilliant
Y Yeah!
Have a good weekend and keep warm!
Ami xx
you can flutter in and flutter out anytime you want to but you have to be a bit bonkers 
i’m sure it’ll sort itself out soon??
Not that that helps a lot when your feeling so low but as Janice said previously, we are always here to bounce things off as one of us will have been where your at and some still going through it all (most of us