OMG listen to you all planning holidays WOW… I wanna come!!!
Jane the big man upastairs said he would blow the clouds away for you if you will stop working so hard!!! xxxx my smileys wont work from the drop down so i’ll do a normal one 
its got sunglasses on for you!! Enjoy!!!
Stella… you should’nt be harsh on yourself sweetie as the bad days do come along for all of us bless you but I do agree they do knock us off our feet when they arrive, I cry at sad things happy things me things and anything that tips the emotions over so again that blessed awsome word normal comes to mind!!! It is just part and parcel of the treatment and we’ve all agreed that you should be just kind to yourself when it happens… supplements can work but check with your Dr or BC nurse as some can alter the effects of any meds your on… hope your ok and the only tip available to give you re, first holiday is ENJOY!!! xxxxx
Janice DUST has been a nightmare lately even when I clean up the B*****r is back within the hour so now I just watch it and say MAYBE tomorrow ha ha!!! Hope your well honey and the hands are not playing up?? and just listen to you glamour puss ha ha!!! If you put a gorgeous picture up we’ll have to draw a pair of glasses and a moustach (cant spell it?) on it… I hope you have a brilliant time at the wedding and will look forward to seeing how gorgeous you are… you are anyway xxxx
Elsa I love that part of France I often say i’ll go to live there if I ever win the lottery… ostrich all you want if it means you will enjoy your well deserved break… keep wearing the PJ’s they are soul food when the word maybe becomes a choice… this PJ club is excellent ha ha!!! xxxxx
Em last but not least… I hate it when I spell wrong but will it let me edit??? NOPE!!! will it let me do paragraphs NOPE!!! can I use the smileys NOPE!!! I have to keep my finger on the space bar it jumps to the bottom so I have to trawl back up… sigh! Hope your feeling much better now that the blinkin H has ended… and yes didnt we start something with the PJ’s many moons ago ha ha!!! Oh i love mine to bits after never having worn them before BC I now own 6 pair fluffy ones short ones long ones and some with Butterlys on… to remind me of you all I would’nt be without them now and am proudly sat in them as I speak!!! Not for long tho as Vikki has an app, with the IV nurse soon so had better get my butt into gear me thinks… after another coffee ha ha!!! xxxxx
Love to all you flutterbys always… Ami where did you go??? flutter gently we deserve it xxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxx
I’m welcoming Vikki as an honorary member of the PJ gang! Gremlins in your laptop sound painful, Doz!!! You’ll have to do some THONG about it! My garden has plenty of weeds, I tell myself they fill in the gaps. I must do some serious weeding but the weather has to be warm and not windy or rainy so I keep putting it off. It’ll be midsummer then before I get out! I think therefore, that Yvonne should come and do my garden, as she likes snow in May and wild weather. Janice, the birds do love the worms. I bought some mealy worms and put them on a wall. A Robin had been watching and came and settled right beside my hand as I put them out! Re your photo and make-up. What is it about putting on make-up that makes us feel better? When I’m wearing it (which is my ritual every morning) I instantly perk up and I’m not looking at myself either. And why is it lovely to take a tablet and be “spark out” as you say, when we don’t know anything about it??? Yes, I agree with you Doz, that Emmy sounds more content and I’ve though Jane sounds so much brighter lately. Hope you’re both listening!! I’ve arrived with a whoosh, Emmy, like the buses, as you say, all at once. Oops… nearly spelled once with a W. It’s maybe I will, maybe I won’t, for you now Emmy, not having to work anymore! Just keep fluttering. I really feel for all of you that have lympho, I’ve been lucky…. so far! As for stiff joints, I’ve just been to the post box and my legs feel so stiff. I’m just smiling at picturing Doz, Emmy & Janice madly typing with their toes. Elsa, it’s good you’ve got a cancellation appointment, you’ve less time to think about it all. I felt like that when the hospital suddenly rang to say they had a slot to have my plate fitted after I fell and fractured my wrist. As for working, it’s time to evaluate. BC hast taught me not to rush around anymore. I am more laid back. I don’t think BC will take over, Elsa, just makes you see things in a different light. And when the emotions well up and as you say, overflow into tears, you are in the right place in front of the overflow in the bath. I don’t care if someone comes to the door either when I’m in DG…they’ll see less of me that way than if I was dressed, he he!! What did you see at the theatre….hope it wasn’t hospital theatre?? Have you recovered from your mad tidy?? Like my mum used to say, “I’ll just dust the flat surfaces” Stella - that’s a good way to describe your feeling… gone up an octave. I don’t think doctors seem to comment about supplements. I’ve been a big believer for longer than I can remember, back when you were cranky for taking them. I viewed them as a kind of insurance policy, but I still got BC!!! They’ll not stop you sobbing in the jar, so take some!! Just love your smileys, Yvonne……ooh. eeh, eeh eeh…… Ha ha! Hope everyone else is OK, Butterflies
Love Ami xx
PS Just tried to get a smiley in. Bet it’s duplicated my post as there’s no smiley there!
ha ha I got one and expected not to… cant stop i’m at work tut tut but had to have another try… that one worked!!! 
best keep quiet they both appeared woo hoo!!!
Must be my laptop cos the paragraph spacer works too!!!
Have a brilliant weekend flutterbys… will catch up soon Ami so nice to hear from you again xxxxxhugxxxx
Welcome back Ami 
nice to read your lovely post.Hope all you flutterbys are having a good weekend.I am just going out for a walk and then going to bake got some rhubarb so pie to be made methinks.Weather here not so good so hope to get back before it rains again feels more like March than May.Take care all big group hug Janice xxxx 
Hi Ami, and Janice and Doz and Katie and Elsa and everyone else…
ME? work too hard? Surely not!!! I can’t remember if I said, but last week I made a journey… i moved from “I must fill in all the gaps in the rota” to “dear team leader, can we have a conversation about what is realistic and sustainable?” and I found some local clergy who will cover the odd night for us, so I DO feel much better. Going on holiday knowing that everything that can be done, ahs been done… and so hopefully I won’t think about it…
All packed… books packed… lymph rubbish, but perhaps the rest will help… dog wondering what’s going on…
while we’re up there, we get to see son & DIL in their first house… t’will be good…
ttfn. Not sure how the website will owrk on my android… I’ll try…night night…
Hello all
I’m seeing the respiratory consultant tomorrow afternoon to discuss my lung fibrosis so a bit anxious about this though I’m taking comfort from the fact that the scan that picked it up was done in January and we are now 4 months on and I don’t feel any different breathing wise from when I did then…
Jane…the weatherman has listened…the weather is picking up and is getting hotter…hurray!!! Hope you have a great holiday…we’re off to Pembrokeshire next weekend so keep some weather for us!!
Doz…I like the thought of PJ’s being soul food…and a PJ club sounds good too…no more guilt complex if |'m still in my PJ’s late morning/afternoon…its ok if I’m found in them in the evening as people will think that I’m just having an early night!!
Ami…i did a mad tidy and was whacked out!!! Theatre was ok…we went to see…wait for it…Anthony Wedgewood Benn…my OH really wanted to go so I went with him…he now owes me a theatre trip of my choice!! I was listening to Russell Watson on the radio this morning talking about his treatment for his brain tumour and how after all the treatment and initial euphoria a depression settled in for a while and it really struck a chord with me. Its not until you’ve been through some life changing illness/condition yourself that you realise the emotional impact it has on you…physically you can be ok but its the emotional healing that takes time. We have to be kind to ourselves…
Well lovely flutterbies
Flitter and flutter gently
When evening falls, fold up your wings
Rest your heads and may you dream sweet dreams
Hi Elsa - hope your appointment went ok this afternoon. Is lung fibrosis a side effect of radiotherapy? I’ve not heard of it previously. I’m just about to leave work and go out into SUNSHINE! Yes it really is!
Went on a hen party Saturday night, it was great bopping away, even forgot BC for a while.
Have a good evening everyone
Stella xxx
i haven’t had radiotherapy, this fibrosis was picked up on the scan I had to detect the sentinel lymph node before I had my biopsy. I saw a lovely doctor today, really pleasant…he doesn’t really know what has caused this problem and is wondering whether I have an auto immune disorder called sarcoidosis…so, I’ve had loads of blood taken and had a lung function test, which was above normal thank goodness. Have got to go in to hospital this Wednesday to have a bronchoscopy, will know more when all results are back. The doctor wasn’t too worried about me, which helps me not worry! Well impressed with the NHS today, a wait of only 2 days for a procedure!!
Sorry you have to go into hospital, Elsa! Is it just for the day? Very positive news about your lung function though and a 2 days wait for the bronchoscopy is certainly impressive! I shall be doing virtual hand holding with you on Wednesday as I‘m sure we all will on here when the others read it. We know all the tests are to eliminate things but we can’t help but worry about them. I’ll be thinking of you, flutterby. Tony Benn seems really nice, I met him a few years ago and chatted to him. I remember watching Russell Watson on a t.v. interview and yes, it also struck a chord with me!
Lovely you forgot about BC last Saturday, Stella. A good bop to some great music really lifts you! Hope the sunshine didn’t go after you got home from work! Spoke to an old friend on the phone who I haven’t seen or spoke to since schooldays. Spent a nice time chatting with a lifetime of catching up to do and what had happened to old classmates. Now going to watch 56 up about the children filmed every 7 years who are now 56.
Hugs to all, Ami xx
Hi flutterbys! Well had my FINAL app with onc today he wished me luck and said only to have an app in 6 months with surgeon then yearly mammos! How scared was I? Very I looked at him and said is that it? How sad I thought I would be dancing all around the corridors but got home with hubby who is grinning like a cheshire cat when I look at him ,bless! But feel ‘flat’ am I going bonkers after all how lucky am I?
We had a chat about my arthritis which I see specialist for on 26th June and onc tells me that my Arimidex may be the cause of the swelling in my hands/fingers and causing the pain in hip??? Answer to check first with specialist as my mother had the same complaint which progressively got worse with age! So if they say yes it’s the tabs then he will prescribe Tamoxofen? How strange is that? never mind I got here!!!
ami I am loving not working at this moment in time so far I have done…nothing! I am sure that the energy required will come back as time goes on mind you it is so frustrating!!! Still with the charades, a joy to find that the onc followed my disjointed ramblings quite well and knew what I was try to describe!!! he must have a load of us in a day! But I think if we all got together in a room it would be hysterical!! women mumbling and trying to describe the thing we mean! Wonder if there is a special place for us? He!He!I watched Russell Watson and his girls are so pretty ,it was so interesting to hear his story and there are many, stories we won’t get to know which is a shame!
Doz I just hope you are enjoying this sunshine? And behaving yourself it is about time you had some me time! Well that’s me falling off my perch! so tired it has been a long one , take care flutterbys and enjoy unfurling your wings in this wonderful weather while we have it!
Sending as ever group hugs along with spoons and much love Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Jane you hit the jackpot I am sending some positive vibes so this week is lovely for you and for the weekend!
Emmy, it was really good news that you don’t have to see your onc again…but I guess it can be scary too when the ‘safety net’ of health professionals drop away for all the right reasons. I’m so envious of you not working, I can’t imagine having to get myself back into work mode but I’m going to have to at some point.
Jane, the weatherman must have listened!! Fabulous weather for your holiday this week
Ami, Tony Benn was very interesting and amusing, he’s got such depth of knowledge on all matters political that you can’t help but listen to him and be impressed by what he says. He also openly admitted the mistakes he’d made along the way which was brave of him I thought. Thanks for the virtual handhold tomorrow, its at 1.30pm.
Anyway, the sun is REALLY shining this morning so going to make the most of it
Love and hugs to all you lovely flutterbies
Elsa hope all went well today I too am enjoying some sunshine first time since March I think ha ha.
Emmy funny thing about swollen hands I have nodes on all my fingers may ask my doc if it could be Letrozole making it worse hope you are chilling I did very little when I first finished work but after a year now seem to be adjusting to it all.
Elsa hope all goes okay for you and a 2 day wait is amazing you must have a good N.H.S where you are take care will be thinking of you xLoved the words you posted the other day x
Hope all you other ladies are enjoying this sunshine I just hope it lasts till the weekend so its fine for the wedding don’t want to have to wear a coat take care love and hugs Janice xxx
Elsa - glad all went ok Monday, sounds positive and the same again for tomorrow.
Emmy - I’ve got aches in my fingers and heels of all places, I think its the letrozole. I’ve jst been clearing the kitchen at work (said oh yes I can do that) kna******ed now! Ready to go home. Sunshine was lovely at lunchtime, still a bit worried about sitting in it but will slap on the factor 50 in Turkey next week.
Take care all
Stella xxx
Hi all
Emmy great news that u dont have to see onc again, just chill and enjoy the sun for a good few weeks go back to work in september my mum has arthritis and the pain of that can be really bad, so its good that you are seeing a doctor who will be able to controll the pain. I have been on tamoxfin since feb with no major problems except the weight gain, you have to find a way to control the weight issue, i have yet to find a way 
.
Elsa Hope all goes well for 2morrow sending you a hug. xxxxx 
Iam seeing my onc 2morrow tho i have been suffering from bad nausea these past 2 weeks but glad iam not being sick with it. hope its something they can sort out for me, as its a horried feeling.
wednesday i have appointment with lympho nurse, that appointment takes 2 hours . but i must say i am inproving and the swelling has gone down a little, so with any luck i shall have only one visit xx
stella a good dance does us the world of good, i dance round my kitchen to smooth 70’s, showing my age now lol.
ami i also watched 56 up, thought it was sad tho. dont think i would like my life recorded like that, as i dont think i have aged well. last one next week , then a 7 year wait.
Gijane Enjoy your hoilday, you are blessed with wonderful weather.xxxx
Doz Hope you and vikki are well and enjoying the warm weather xx
Dont for get to slap on the sun block… xxxx yvonne
Hi again
Just to say the photo is of my daughter her partner and my grandaughter Kaitlyn they are all such a joy.
Removed the photo of me cuz didnt really like me with no hair, even tho i never wore a wig hat or scarf during treatment went out and about as free as a butterfly.
when i went on the bus , the driver’s waved me on, i hardley ever paid,
never had that luck at tesco checkout lol
its to hot for me outside yvonne
No Emmy, you’re not going bonkers. I don’t know why we feel flat after it all but we do! Do we expect strings of bunting and wild clapping all round as we are sent on our way? Maybe a bit if a celebration? But we are sent off on our own without the treatment now, standing on our own 2 feet again! Like a child taking it’s first steps….off you go! And that, in a way, that is scary! I think your onc has been cheating understanding your charades, as yes, he’d seen the same from all the others many times over! OH says you should get a job on a race track as a tik-tak man! Anyhow, about work, isn’t it great to do nothing? To not feel pressured into having to do things? It’s what you need, Emmy, and is part of the recovery process. I have been like a whirlwind today and can see I am returning to my old self….well, changed a little! I’ve had lines full of washing out in this sunshine, cleared out and chucked out a cupboard to make room, cleaned etc etc, so it will come for you flutterby, in time. I thought I would never get my enthusiasm for just doing housework let alone anything else, but it’s great to do all the things I’ve done today and feel some satisfaction!
Hope all you Butterflies who are going on hols have good weather and an injection of Feelgood to come home with.
Where are you Doz? Hope you and Vikki are doing better each day, especially in this sunshine.
Elsa. Tony Benn admitting his mistakes makes him even more likeable and just human, doesn’t it. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, flutterby. Try not to laugh when you’re with the hospital staff at us all holding hands with you!
Hope the weather holds out for you for your wedding, Janice. Please don’t forget to post us a picture, will you?
Yvonne…. Will be hand holding with you also, tomorrow. Don’t you just get fed up with all the appointments…2 hrs is a long time for you on Wed. I just couldn’t dance round my kitchen not so long ago, Yvonne, but now I can! And it’s great!! Yes, on the tv programme, it must be really strange to see yourself looking back every 7 years. I’m laughing about the checkout at Tesco, ha ha! Be careful with the hot sun on your head, flutterby.
Hope everyone else is OK…come and post and let us know how you are, will you?
Hugs from Ami xx
Hi ami trust you to get going with housework! I have just enjoyed the day and am slowly beginning to get it into my head that apart from the yearly checks and tabs I am now going to get on with it! What a scorcher! I admit I forgot to put on sun screen to begin with and realised how hot it actually is when I became aware that I had slightly burned so covered up and slapped on the sun screen and just sat!!!
Elsa giving up work was the hardest thing I ever did! I have worked all my life and it grieved me to have to say enough! In fact it was my GP who said to give myself a rest now! I dithered for so long but in the end had to admit this was the best option for me so far I have not been bored which proves to me that I must have needed it! I was one of those annoying people who can’t just sit I used to drive hubby nuts he would say sit down woman! but I could just keep going and now I can’t I just don’t have the energy! On the plus side I am getting to know the new me who is still a bit unsteady and has to learn how to be kind to herself but am getting there!
Jane how was that for timing? I think you cheated and put a word in myself, but good for you I hope you get the rest you deserve!
As ami says for both flutterbys Yvonne and Elsa magic hand holding going on and we promise not to look! I thought of the amazing flutterbys when I went for my mammo and ended up smiling! I am sure the wonderful woman who was so gentle with me thought I was slightly dotty! But what the hey!! I swear I heard giggling in the corner so watch yourselves! Yvonne lovely pic!
Doz sweet pea looks like you are so missed!! you will have to post or the flutterbys will be sending a posse after you!
Janice I do hope you have enjoyed this wonderful day? I am sure you will have and the wedding will be just as wonderful! enjoy it flutterby it is an exciting day for you!
Stella not long now to your hols! Did you do your hair colour? I hope it went well 'cos it does give you a lift when you can do something ‘normal’! Post pics!!!
Carolyn I do hope you are well and the lovely Lewis, you are another one the posse will be looking for!
I will say again if I missed anyone I am sorry this list is getting longer!!! FAB!
ami tell OH that would be a great new career move a TIC TAC woman!!!
Take care all enjoy this weather whatever you are up to spread them wings it is SUNNY!!! BIg group hug Em xxxx
Morning all
Emmy - hair colour went ok, still wearing my wig but will feel ok taking it off on holiday when sitting round pool - ahhh can’t wait. Bit of a technophobe when it comes to posting pics!
Can somebody help with a question - what is NED (I think I’ve got that right) think N stands for negative - want to ask my consultant about it when I go in July. I think I’ve seen it somewhere on this thread.
Doz - Hope you and Vicki are both ok.
Its going to be a hot one today - plenty of factor 50 girlies!
Stella xxx
I think NED means no evidence of disease…
HELLO FLUTTERBYS I’m feeling quite humble to see your posts and to know i’ve been missed xxxxx
I have had the week from HELL… sorry for blaspheming 
I was working nights over the
weekend (this bloomin paragraph spacer has a mind of its own!!! as I was saying I worked over the weekend so I could be around during the week to get Vikki to her outpatients apps, came home monday morning at 8am start to my annual leave week…could’nt sleep… nothing new there had a bad night at work with a patient who sadly tried to end his life didnt succeed thankgoodness so I was feeling a bit disturbed when I got to bed… then at 12 had to take Vik’s for her app, only to get a call while I was there to say the Guy renting my sons apartment had done a runner AAAAAARGH!!! So after Vikki was loaded up with anti biotics we headed off to Hull to find the apt, in a right state I could have wept… and did eventually when I saw the scale of it all I didnt know where to start! so I started to clear out all the guys rubbish he’d left and at 9.00pm got us both home to eat… half way through the meal (chinese… how lazy is that?) my ex rang to say get the locks changed on the door to the apt… YES SIR!!! so rang a locksmith at 9.30 and had to go back to Hull got those changed and the guy who was renting the apt, turned up wanting to know where all his rubbish was… so I told him its in bin bags outside… He refused to pay the last 2 months rent he owes and went… leaving all the bags i’d packed… now in the wheelie bin! I finally got home at 12.45 feeling like death no sleep no proper meal and worst of all no rent!
Yesterday was spent cleaning my own house and then going to the apartment which is now up for sale… so had to bottom it and clean right through Its now spotless and i’m suffering with every joint in my body!!! SOME ANNUAL LEAVE EH!!! At least its now done but I missed the glorious sunshine yesterday tho as I speak its just popped out
What busy flutterbys you.ve all been too numerous to mention… my brain has gone into reverse this past couple of days and I apopolgize for missing you all out xxxxx But I DO hope all appointments go well I DO hope any results come back normal and I DO hope you are ALL fluttering gently in this lovely weather…!! My thoughts and love and especially hand holding for those in need are with you all xxxxx
My thumb xray results still are’nt back and after all the stress and cleaning it is killing me so I really need to get it sorted now
LETROZOLE yes me thinks its at the back of all these joint/muscle problems we all have… My body is falling to bits slowly since I started taking it… I have never had problems with my joints before BC I used to play badminton twice a week but now I dont think I could swing a fly squatter… so many aches and pains so that will be a question to fire at Doc when I go with this stupid digit on my hand!!! I picked up a tin of paint last night at Daniels place to repaint some of the scratches the ANIMAL left and just as I picked it up my thumb did its clunk and the paint went all down my clothes eeeek!!! So not a happy bunny as the top I had on was new… only a pretty baggy blouse for day wear but so comfortable
Well flutterbys I must peel these PJ’s off sigh as I have to get Vikki sorted for her treatment session so I send lots of love tons of good wishes to those having appointments too…and to Ami Janice Em Jane Elsa Garden party Kaie B Sascha (welcome) hope I hav’nt forgotten any of you?? forgive me for not following on with your posts bur your all always in my thoughts… just hav’nt had time to join you lately but i’m back and will be posting properly soon Flutter in the sun and enjoy xxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxspoonsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx