Hi all, my name is Lorriane and was told on wed that i BC, i have got ot have a mastectory in two wks.
could anyone tell me if i am doing the right thing by telling everyone straight away, I just wanted to tell my work colleges,friends & family striaght away so that i don’t have to keep talking about plus i just wanted people to treat me as normal as can be. I felt if that if i told people now it was over and done with and that i could start to think about myself and my family.
Would love to here from anyone who feels the same
Lorraine x
I am sure you will receive support and information from your fellow uers shortly. In addition, Breast Cancer Care have written a ‘Resources Pack’ for anyone newly diagnosed with breast cancer which you may find helpful to read, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. You can order a free copy from the following link or you can ask for a copy to be sent to you via our helpline:
There is information in the pack about our other support services, including our helpline which is on 0808 800 6000, you may find this useful to use at some point if you need to talk anything through, or just need someone to lend an understanding ear. Alternatively, if you prefer you can use email: <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>
I did exactly the same and don’t regret it. I found it really helped to not be worrying bout hiding what I was going through with work and the rest of life going on.
I also had a mastectomy (both sides in my case) which wasn’t as bad as I thought, no where near as bad actually.
Good luck getting through these early days. I feel that things have got easier since then. I’m currently doing chemo, was diagnosed 6 motnhs ago and I look back to when I was first diagnosed and no realise what a shock it was so please do give yourself time to let it sink in and if you find your emotions are a bit of a rollercoaster please know that it was for most of us and nothing you feel is wrong.
Sorry you have had to join us here, but you will get loads of support and information on this site.
I too told family, work and friends at the start and found it easier when I went back to work as they knew why I had been off and no-one was speculating.
It is a shock at the start and to be honest I just sort of went ‘oh, alright’ and then got on with things as normal, but with just a week between dx and surgery there were so many things to get organised that I didn’t really have time to swell on things or get upset.
I hope all goes well with the surgery. Let us know how you are getting one.
Hi Lorraine,
I told absolutely everyone immediately and was overwhelmed by all the love and support I received. You will get the odd person who doesn’t know what to say, but let’s remember, it’s a disease not a disgrace.
Some people said “do you want people to know?” I said yes, it’s cancer, not syphilis. Then my 9 year old wanted to know what syphilis was! oops! I am going into hospital today, op tomorrow. Unlike you I have been a neurotic wreck since my diagnosis of BC 3 weeks ago, but we all deal with things differently and this site is here for the highs, lows and in betweens. Take care and good luck with the surgery, I am having a WLE and partial lymph node clearance sometime tomorrow.
Irina x
I told every straight away - I wanted that part over and done with before my surgery. i was amazed at the support i got and people especially work collegues will be more understanding on the not so good days. like Vertangie said it’s like a rollercoaster ride. sending hugs.
Hi Lorraine,
I had a mastectomy and told everyone.
I teach part time so once I had dates sorted out I went into school on my ‘day off’ and spoke to everyone individually. I explained what had happened so for, that I would be away for a couple of days having a lumpectomy and if it was cancer it would mean a mastectomy before Christmas (2007) I prefered for everyone to hear from me than to speculate as to why I wasn’t in work. It also meant that no-one, after the initial shock, was embarressed or ‘put their foot in it’.
There is loads of info on this site and of course masses of support.
So all the best Lorraine, keep in touch won’t you and let us know how you get on.
lots of love
Magsi x
I too think being up front and open with people is very sensible. If you are matter of fact with them, just outlining what has happened and what is going to happen, then it is likely they will treat you the same manner. Thats exactly what I did. I told work as soon as I knew I was going to the clinic before I knew I had cancer mainly so they were aware I needed the time off. I didnt make a big deal out of it and then told them when it was diagnosed and what needed to be done and how long I would be off etc. As a result, people have been very thoughtful and kind but have not made a big fuss either, as that is the last thing I wanted. It also makes it easier for them to talk to you if they think you just want to be treated normally.
I had a recall on the 4th July for ultra sound and biopsy and told everyone at work, friends etc that I had a lump and it would need to come out. I back on friday 11th and had the diagnosis confirmed - Wide local Excision following guide wire insertion planned for 28th July. I have had nothing but support from all and found it easier goingback last friday knowing that people were thinking of me. It also let everyone know why I might have been a bit grumpy last week!
Hi Lorraine
I only told husband and boss when I found out as my youngest daughter was doing her final exams and did’t want to worry her. Work became tense because no one knew what was wrong with me - thought I was being grumpy about everything for no reason. As soon as I told them everyone was very understanding and caring and passed word round for me.
If I could have done i would have told everyone straight away6.
With everyone knowing and talking about it you know that if someoner asks how you are doing you know that they actually mean it and want to know.
Take care and look after yourself
Liz
Liek most of the people above, I told everyone straight away - or even earlier, because I told people I was on 2 week referral - except my family - I didn’t tell them because my sister had been diagnosed a year earlier and i wanted to be sure before i caused concern… friends were good and good and they will never know how their care helped me through. My sister only told people she had to but I just tell people because heck…they might as well be breast aware - the number of guys who don’t think it can happen to them for example…
The op was far less frightening than I thought and I can recall saying to someone - well at least it wasn’t something essential like my liver or my heart. Hmm, it can be a long haul but i was diagnosed late Nov, op late december and I went back to work early March - I finish chemo tabs thia week and then rads to look forward to - but it is different for everyone. The important thing is to be kind to yourself.
Hi Lorraine
You need to do what feels right for you. I am in for masectomy and lymph node removel tommorrow Was only diagnosed less than a fortnight ago so I told all the people that I felt needed to know straight away
Ive been diagnosed end of may and have had 2 chemo treatments 3rd one in a weeks time. My operation is at the end of my 8 chemo cycles. Im finding it really hard to stay positive especially having to wait for the op. Is there any one out there from the Essex area willing to meet for a chat. Or is there anyone having their chemo first and then op please I would love to hear from anyone to help me through this very dark period of my life.
I told everyone as well when I was diagnosed Lorraine. I think that it’s down to the individual on what to do on diagnosis. None of us had been in this situation before so none of us knew how we going to react, so there’s no rules. Just do what feels right. The support I got was overwhelming and is still continuing while I’m having radiotherapy.
Good luck to those having surgery this week. I had WLE with guide wire and SNB in May. I was lucky to have no node involvement so I bypassed chemo but having rads at the moment.
This is a fantasic site where I have learnt and read so much from very couragous people. Hang in there.
Hi Lorraine,
I think you did exactly the right thing. I told everyone straight away too and found that talking about it was good for me (and them too). It was nothing to be ashamed of (love the syphilis comment irena) and the support I received was amazing. Also found that they went and told others too so I didn’t have to. My attitude was that if this made all my friends and families more breast aware then that would be a good thing to come out of it
All the best with your surgey and sending you lots of love
I too told everyone straight away,Although before the confirmation I only told my sister and sister in law, I didn’t know what to do about my sons but in the end decided to only tell them when I was diagnosed , they would have only worried themselves sick and we were doing enough of that although the sister and my hubby were conviced there was nothing wrong. As soon as i got home from the hospital I told my sons, one who is in Korea and the other was at uni in Plymouth. It was horrible but I seemed to get my head round the whole thing really easily after that. I think you find you end up comforting everyone else because you feel so sorry for them people don’t know what to say and It seems to make you so strong. I am now 3 months or so down the line waiting for third Chemo and just getting on with it really and looking forward to next year!!! good luck with everything
Hi all,
I told everyone right away and similarly most people knew I was being referred…I lied to my immediate Family about biopsies because my Mum is in all honestly a bit of a lunatic for speculation !!! Once I heard the fateful words I let them in the loop and let the mayhem begin!.
I agree fully with the breast aware comment…since my dx in April about 3 of the Mums from school have been referred for various lumps and bumps, thankfully all were sent home fit and well…but i have been surprised at the number of people who don’t check themselves. I think my dx was a major shock as I am the youngest of my social circle at 32 (today!!!)…figure best everyone knows and as (thankfully) my prognosis is v.good, the earlier the better really paid off.
Good luck to one and all in your battle with the beast!!!
