Hi everyone I had a wide local excision and SNB in September and I finished my radiotherapy just before Christmas. I know I need to make a decision about returning to work but the idea of going back fills me with dread. Physically I’m doing ok (apart from adjusting to the effects of Tamoxifen) but mentally it’s like I’m still adjusting to the last few months post diagnosis. If I’m honest I feel emotionally spent and I can’t imagine having room in my brain for anything else at the moment! I know I could probably request another sick note but my worry is that I’m just delaying the inevitable and I’ll feel the same when that note is near its end. I’ve got an informal chat with my management tomorrow so any advice as to what to ask and how much to tell them would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.
Ooo I’m not surprised how you are feeling . I can completely relate to that . I felt very spaced out and disconnected and I do think it takes time
To adjust . I returned a couple
Of weeks after radiotherapy and I did a phased return which definitely helped . I did feel
So much better to be back though and to
Get into a normal Routine but it really does depend on what your work is . You won’t ever have this time to recover again so do be kind to yourself x
So sorry to hear you’re struggling. I completely relate to how you feel. I’ve been off work since September and physically I’m doing ok but emotionally I’m struggling. Some days better than others but definitely not ready for work. My advice would just to be as honest as possible with your manager. No one gets over this stuff quickly or easily. Give yourself plenty of time and kindness. How would you speak to your best friend dealing with this situation? Speak to yourself in the same way you would to them. Sending lots of love x
Hi Loobers,
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling and feeling emotionally spent. I’ve been off work since early December and had my WLE, flap reconstruction, and sentinel node biopsy in late December. I’ve got sick leave until March but this might be extended as I’ll need to undergo further surgery and possibly radiotherapy.
I’m actually finding that the leave is giving me time and space to think about how I want my role to look when I return. When I next meet with my line manager, I’m going to be really clear and honest as to what I can and cannot do (at least temporarily). Granted, my work are being supportive and I’m in a position where I work mainly from home so am lucky in that regard. However, the job (even prior to diagnosis) was often very emotionally and mentally draining (I am a university tutor) and I know that going back full steam ahead isn’t the best idea. I’m looking to do a phased return and am also thinking about possibly cutting down at some stage to 4 days a week instead of full time.
I’d suggest maybe chatting with your line manager tomorrow about the type of reasonable adjustments you’d like put in place (if any) to support you in your return to work. This might be things like asking for lighter duties (temporarily or long term), a phased return, flexible hours, being able to work from home temporarily or long term, having somewhere to take a rest/nap if you work in an office, etc. You might also wish to ask them about any support available from occupational health or an EAP (Employee Assistance Programme). Be really clear to manage their expectations - you are still at the early stages of recovery so take it very easy on yourself and give them a clear sense of what you can manage right now.
Also, I’m not sure if you’re heard of the organisation ‘Working with Cancer’ Employees – Working with Cancer but you might wish to get in touch with them as they offer one-to-one coaching where you can discuss worries about work, practical support, talking with your colleagues about your condition, returning to work, etc. You can contact them at any stage, so it doesn’t matter whether or not you’ve finished active treatment. I wish you all the best with your chat tomorrow. Don’t be too hard on yourself as your feelings and emotions sound very normal - we’re all here to support. One last thing, I’d also say even though it’s informal keep a written record of everything that is discussed/said. Take care x
I am retired from my career but do freelance marketing for some original clients. I can only say that having work to take my mind off cancer was a blessing. One of the worst things about cancer treatment is that it can be all consuming which is not only physically tiring, it makes you very one-dimensional in your outlook. I got through two and a half years of treatment by treating it as something I had to do to get well and NOT as my whole life. Of course you will have moments when you are anxious and concerned but surely it is better to have the benefit of work to take your mind of things, and stimulate the mental process.
Its only fair to say that I am a great believer in the work ethic and I do appreciate that this will not suit everybody but work is a great part of life and life is what you want to aspire to get back. Please don’t sit brooding or waste your emotions on continually thinking what has been or what might be. Get out there and live.
Hello Loobers. I have been in the same position as you. I returned to work part time on medical grounds moving to full time after 4 weeks. I had an open & honest conversation with my employer & this is what we agreed I could try. It worked for me & I was glad it was a phased return as initially I found it very tiring. It was good to get back into a routine however & a bit of normal. Good luck! X
Hey, its normal…i feel the same way…ive been off since my first operation in August 23 and now my chemo/Radiotherapy is due to end in May…24 I am really stressed about returning to work…
Work have been good, i have been logging in at home when I can, but not really being asked to do any work. …i feel a bit out of the loop, and although i am active on Teams, not one person as even sent me a message to say Hi, so feel like noone really cares if im there…i dont know if its just they dont want to bother me…
I think after being away for nearly a year, coupled with the hair loss, its going to hard…but it has to be done…to young to retire.
I did book myself a carribean cruise for Dec, so i have something to look forward to after this is all done, so focusing on planning for that…
A phased return maybe good, im sure occupational health get involved to make sure everything is in place…
All the Best
Also for anyone else who is struggling with the emotional processing of it all - I did a Moving Forwards course 3 months after starting anti - oestrogens and finishing radiotherapy . I was also carrying another injury and had family problems and I was a complete mess emotionally at the start of it and not fit for work but by the time it was finished I was so much better . If I had not caught Covid just after finishing it I would probably have been able to go back to work as soon as it was over.
I had a phased return also with some reasonable adjustments initially because I had a shoulder problem . An informal visit is a good idea and if you feel up to having a cuppa and a chat with a few colleagues before starting back formally that may help as well.
Joanne x
Hi @loobers
I had the same treatment plan as you. My diagnosis was in July and I returned to work the following January (not that my or anybody else’s timescales should have any bearing on your decision). The best piece of advice I had throughout my treatment was from my oncologist who said in my response to the question “when should I return to work?” Was “if it was me, when you are crawling the walls and there is nothing else you would rather do” and she was absolutely right.
I’ve dealt with mental issues in the past and I knew in the run up to Christmas that year that my brain was getting itchy to think about something else like work so that was the right time for me.
Don’t ever feel like a sick note only covers your physical health nor is is a “judgment” by your employer on whether you are sick or not: employers only need them to claim statutory sick pay
A moving forward course is an excellent suggestion
Good luck for today!
AM xxx
Hi
If you’re employed your employer should seek consent from you to organise and allow you to talk to an occupational therapist before you return
Be open about your emotions, anxiety as well as any physical side effects and ongoing treatments as then they will make recommendations about a supported phased return and if you need adjustments to your duties
My phased return is over 4 months and my employer has provided voice recognition to aid using a keyboard as ive been left with numb/ painful hands and im only doing uncomplicated, least stressful duties with my team still having to share the load
However i would urge you to seek counselling before you make any decisions
Macmillan have free support, your GP can also prescribe counselling although waiting lists are long
Until you feel mentally and physically ready you should ask for ingoing sickness/FIT notes
Do not underestimate how tired a return to work can be so make sure you are walking, doing some gentle exercise like tai chi or pilates and ask family and friends for tea/coffee/get togethers
One day you’ll be so proud of yourself and what you’ve coped with, we are amazing people and send your kind & good thoughts 
Thanks for your reply. Spaced out & disconnected is such a good description of how I feel!
Thanks for taking the time to respond- it’s so reassuring to know that other people feel the same way x
Thank you for taking the time to respond, you’ve given me some really useful advice. I work for the civil service so I know there will be support available. Good luck with your treatment x
Thanks for responding. I do agree that work can be very beneficial, I guess I just need a bit of help with the transition x
Thank you for responding. I think a phased return is the way to go - less daunting!
Thank you for your response. It seems quite common to feel anxious about returning to work/normality - probably because going through cancer has changed us a bit. Good luck and enjoy your cruise!
Thanks for your reply- I’m actually booked on to a Moving Forward course next week which is brilliant timing. I’ve heard good things about it.
Thank you so much, that is really helpful. I’m thinking about returning whereas before it was a complete no-no so that’s a good sign I suppose!
Thank you, that’s so helpful. You’re right, we should all be proud of ourselves for getting through these tough times x
How did I guess