Worried sick newbie

So literally I feel so sick and I can’t eat. Had mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy yesterday and then was told before I left by consultant that he is afraid I have cancer and that 2 lymph nodes were abnormal and to go back in 10 days for the full results. I guess it’s normal to feel sick and not eat ? I’m really not sure how I’m gonna get through next 10 days . I can’t stop shaking

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Welcome to the forum . I felt sick to the stomach and so anxious that I was having
palpitations and couldn’t sleep and ended up at the GP being prescribed Valium !
Well that was 9 years ago this week and I’m still here as will be the vast majority of people diagnosed with breast cancer . If you are going to get a cancer , breast cancer is a pretty good one to have to deal with , treatments are very very good now no matter what stage or type your cancer is .
Things will get better , you will not always feel this awful , once treatment starts and you know what lies ahead, in the immediate future anyway , you will feel calmer . Talking to people going through the same thing helps a great deal in relieving anxiety and stress so talk away here we all know how it feels and it does get easier . Best wishes Jill

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@epic1
I am so sorry to hear your news and yes, I think all of us felt all the things you wrote-sick to the stomach, can’t sleep, crying til all run out (and then some more), sure that we won’t be here shortly…
You’re on a rollercoaster, only have bits of info, (and wrongly imaging the rest to fill the gaps), on shaky ground-no wonder you feel like this.
It doesn’t stay like that though…
First breathe…
Have you spoken to anyone-family, your breast nurse, the nurses here on helpline?
Sharing could at least make it more bearable.
Who do you think within your family and friends could support you?
Dont google-it’s not accurate and just scary
if you can’t eat, then drink and maybe add milk and then fruit to make milkshake, protein, soups… even if it’s just a couple of mouthfuls little and often.
Try to get out for a walk and fresh air, even if just round the garden.
Make a list of questions
Arrange someone to go with you and take notes for results day
When you have a plan, you will start to feel more in control and the ground won’t feel as shaky.
A piece of advice is that there’s a lot of waiting involved in this process so look into mindfulness or relaxation when you can. It could be really helpful.
Theres a lot of people here for you so come back so we can support you through the next 10 days, then see where you go from there.
I wish I could give you a big hug, please hold on in there, this is one of the worst bits
Hugs
Laura

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I promise you, the initial shock and the waiting is the worst. I had panic attacks when I had just been diagnosed, and waiting for the plan. And then when you have a plan in place hopefully you will feel a bit better. You will find the strength. Think of who you can call to cry to when you need a good cry. You are about to go on a journey, but most of us have come out stronger, maybe even a better version of ourselves. It will be ok my dear, big hugs.
(Also the breast care nurses were great to talk to)

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Hi @epic1
I’m so sorry about your recent diagnosis, sending you a virtual big hug. It’s certainly a real shock and it turned my stomach and my head completely inside out.
I had a breast tumour and 2 lymph nodes infected with cancer. But then Following chemo and surgery I’ve just been told I’ve fortunately had a complete pathological response.
Treatment is improving in leaps and bounds, talk to trusted people around you, it’s normal to react the way you have. Once you have your next meeting you’ll be given guidance and support, remember you are not alone, the macmillan centres, breast cancer nurses and this forum are full of knowledge from some amazing women.
Stay strong, and keep talking .
Xx

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@epic1 I remember those early days (March for me!) seems like a lifetime ago but I remember your exact feelings.
I held it together as we didn’t tell our boys until May but even when I was with anyone who didn’t know I couldn’t concentrate, was distracted, constantly thinking ‘I may have cancer’ which turned into ‘I have cancer’ … they were truly awful times. As others have said, these are the worst times which is amazing really as I started out blubbering to my hubby that I didn’t want to lose a breast, lose my hair, tell my boys or have anyone know and horror, feel sorry for me … yet all those things are happening and it’s true the feelings are better!!! Yes, it’s rubbish but we live in a country that has amazing treatment and results… it doesn’t mean a death sentence and if I’m having a positive day, I know when I get through this, my life will be better and definitely more focused (I am mentally culling things and friends in my head already)

You can get through this … I walked with my dog and v close friends and cried and screamed and let all my fears out. I came on this site regularly for support and to search information… do NOT google… it is not your friend. I watched a lot of tv that will forever remind me of that time but got me through.

You will feel bad and scared but ride the waves … if it is definitely bc and lymph nodes (me too!) you will get through it. I said to everyone once I told them that I’m in a black hole and they need to shine a light to help me find the rope to get out. The treatment plan is a big part of that but for now … find the light when you’re in the darkness moments :two_hearts:

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Thanks Jill . Maybe I need to go to docs and get something either that or wine !

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Thanks Laura
I have my husband who I know will be a great support . I don’t want to tell kids yet until I know what the treatment plan is. Thank you for your advice

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Thanks kaz. Appreciate your message

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Just like @Jill1998 i too was prescribed Valium to help my awful anxiety when I was at the stage you are at now. A breast cancer nurse suggested it and it really helped. Use whatever helps at this rotten, awful time. That was nearly 4 years ago. Take heart and all thoughts are with you x

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I’m so sorry you’ve had to hear this news but, like others have said, these feelings will get better.
It’s such a shock to be told, but you’ll have so much support as the treatment plan kicks in. It helps to get to a point where you accept that this is happening and say, yes, it can be dealt with. Make sure you talk to the Breast Care Nurses. They’ve heard it all and are so understanding and reassuring. The vast majority of women, and men, come through this and go on to live well. It’s a diagnosis, and treatment for it will follow. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. :heartpulse: :pray: :kissing_heart:

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Whatever gets you through at this point !

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Just take a moment
You’ve got a lot to absorb, digest and think about but until you know more the wait is going to at times intolerable and eating, sleeping and your mental state is going to be all over the place And thats normal!

Talk to trusted loved ones your team, the nurses on here and your GP they will all listen

One day at a time lovely its going to be rough so please reach out for support and distractions

Big hugs xx

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Oh my goodness… I didn’t realise other people felt the same … I saw your post and the replies and wish I’d posted myself back in March when it was all kicking off for me, pretty much the same.
I too was in such a state, prescribed Valium , calling the BC nurses every day, ( they were brilliant ) it was so so hard.
I’ve now had a mastectomy and node clearance , they saw one dodgy node but found 5 with cancer during the surgery.
I’m about to start chemo in 2-3weeks. Had my planning meeting today. The waiting is :exploding_head: I’ve never known anything so hard.
I have discovered that often the BC nurses have results ahead of time and will tell you over the phone earlier so that’s helpful. I’ve been feeling awful again waiting for chemo ( not everyone needs it but i sadly do ) there’s so much limbo!
I am accessing some hypnotherapy free from the hospital for 4 weeks so that’s been good and some talking therapies from the GP, also helpful and I downloaded a breathing app and the calm app and try to do this several times a day when the overwhelm takes over.
Take care and let us know how you get on…
x

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It’s the worst time, the waiting. I was diagnosed in April and in early May I remember getting my first counselling session through Macmillan and talking about how I couldn’t hold a normal conversation, didn’t want to hear anyone else’s news about anything, couldn’t imagine ever feeling happy and calm again. When you’re in the middle of the storm you can’t see a way through. But I’m getting there now a few weeks later, so much calmer and more like my old self again. I hope the first stage doesn’t last too much longer for you xx

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So I met with consultant today and have grade 2 invasive ductal in breast ( 19 mm and 8 mm) and in nodes . They have booked me in for lumpectomy and node clearance (think that’s what they said) on Tuesday ! Cant believe so quick but I am pleased to get it out of me asap. Will need radiation and poss chemo but one step at a time. I do feel slightly better today knowing what I have and how they are going to deal with it. Still scared though- thanks guys for support. This forum is amazing for help xx

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@epic1 great, you now have a plan. Sounds similar to me. I’m now in the June chemo group and I can honestly say I have never felt as bad as I did at the beginning. Yes, it all sucks and I still cry about lots of things but nothing was as dark and awful as those first few weeks of not knowing and feeling lost.

Good luck with the surgery … take each bit as a hurdle you need to get over. Eventually there will be no more hurdles and you’ll be living a full and happy (maybe even better?) life again :two_hearts:

Keep posting xx