You’re right, parking for rads, ending up late for rads, having machines break down and sometimes - seemingly randomly - waiting ages day in, day out were a total grind and hideously frustrating.
My onc told me though that we should never underestimate the power of rads and that they were perhaps the most powerful weapon in the armoury against bc, even though as they seem quite old fashioned compared to some other techniques we might not appreciate what they are doing to help us fight recurrence.
The rads dose is carefully calculated and split up into fractions over how ever many days so that by the end of the course we have the amount needed to fight any stray bc cells.
It seemed horrible at the time but I would do it all again in a heartbeat and it has all but faded from my memory now, much as I hope bc does. Please stick with it, you are so close to reaching the end and it really does matter to complete the course xx
If they thought that 12 sessions were enough for you Clare then they would only have booked you 12 in the 1st place so go for gold and get those other 3 done - you owe it to yourself.
Maybe after number 15 you could leap over the barrier in triumph just like the Wimbledon champion does over the net? Mind you maybe crawling under the barrier might be easier!!!
Good luck and look forward to you telling us that you did all 15!
Clare I found radiotherapy ok although I was tired with the chemo, but I too dreaded the last three. I don’t know why I just has a rare tearful ‘I feel sorry for me’ session. I went on each day thinking I can’t do this but once I was in the waiting rom it was ok.just the odd teardrop to tickle my nose when I couldn’t move.
Hold on in there gal…you have come this far, it would be silly to waste the effort and have worry and possible regret.
Big empathetic Hug
Cackles
Aww hun, poor you. Jobs worth’s are so flipping aggravating aren’t they - it just isn’t necessary, and IMO your jobs worth is definitely in the wrong job, perhaps Prison Warden would suit him better!
I know when you waken in the morning you will have changed your attitude and be thinking more rationally, bad experiences mar our logic, and you had every right to feel peed off. Dust yourself down Clare and remember today is a new day. Go for it girl, or to be more precise go for the last three, you know you can. And look at it this way the next three days can’t be as bad, can they?
Good luck, and I do know you’ll make those appointments.
Hang in there Clare - just 3 to go! Saturday morning you will hopefully wake up relieved - no more traveling for rads!
I finished yesterday and although I was lucky with getting early morning appointments, living close to the hospital and fortunately easy parking - I did have down days and for some strange reason felt quite stressed by the rads … Maybe it was the having to lie still?
One thing you could do is give your hospital some feedback of your experience of the trial, things may improve for others in the future.
Oh yes please do the last 3 rads. It may make all the difference. Just make yourself go, its only 3 after all, some people have far more to get through. I know its tough, and sometimes the waiting is horrible, but JUST DO IT!!! chris xx
Hi Clare, you know you’ve got to do it and you know you should do it, but that doesn’t make it easy to actually do it. With my first tax chemo I had a big allergic reaction and it took every ounce of courage I had to go back for the second cycle, but you will be so proud of yourself when you look back and know you did it even though it was so hard. Hang on in there and vent on here when you need to xxx
Going to rads appointment is a real pain but it’s only for 3 - 5 weeks of your life.
I had to face a 2 hour journey each way to radiotherapy or leave my home and husband and go and stay with relatives so I could be a bit closer to the hospital and I chose the latter. Even then it wasn’t easy as on the day of my last rad there was very heavy snow and no public transport running but luckily my brother took time off work to get me there.
I had a treat after every single rads session. I went to a nice cafe and had a nice cake and a latte. It helped me to feel normal again after being zapped.
Will an extra 3 treatments make a difference? That’s hard to know isn’t it but this treatment is well researched and so the number of treatments you’re booked in for will be the optimum number.
Put it this way, if you’re having 15 treatments and you miss 3 then you’re actually missing 20% of your rads treatment. Not such a small amount then.
It’s good to rant on here and I really hope it’s helped and you are carrying on.
take care and remember it’s nearly all done.
Elinda x
I did carry on as i knew deep down i had to, had my last one today so im all done…yay me
I was having a very bad day and need to let off steam and vent. Harsh words to me didnt help me and I was quite upset that i was made to feel bad about it. Just because i dont have secondaries doesnt mean im not entitled to feel rubbish at times but hey ho its over now and i got through it.
So pleased for you Clare. I agree we all feel rubbish at different times and for different reasons, secondaries or no secondaries and this is the one place we dont have to put on a brave face.
Well done Clare and well said. I hope you have a treat planned to congratulate yourself on getting through this phase of treatment - you deserve it.
I think that being told “there’s someone worse off than you” is belittling - in any situation. Would it be helpful to say to someone who had just had one leg amputated “you’re not as badly off as a double amputee”?
I am so pleased you were able to finish your treatment Clare.
I’m sorry if my posting was one of the ones you thought were harsh (I hope not).
I think the trouble with internet forums is never know the tone of messages. I honestly think that all the messages were sent with the right intentions but we’re all only human and our personal frustrations sometimes get vented in our responses too (that’s talking for myself).
Anyway, the main and most important thing is that you got through it all Clare and I hope you’re going to do something nice to celebrate.
Clare, Clare , Clare!!!
I was worrying that you’d decided not to finish your rads and werent going to come back in case we shouted at you!
Well done…
I’ve got another 18 to go…
Big Hugs