Young and struggling... First post

Hi, new in here and first time posting.
I was diagnosed 3rd December 2015 just before my 29th birthday… Started 8 rounds of chemo on 5th Jan currently half way through and thankfully all is going well and tumour is responding brilliantly!! I wish I could say the same for my emotions, I have a wonderful family supporting me and friends but I can’t help feeling all alone…
I put on a very brave face an act like I’m coping but all I want to do is breakdown. I used to be confident but the hair loss and also putting on a stone is making down. Feel like this is going to be hanging over me worrying me forever and I didn’t have time to have fertility treatment so children maybe and issue in the future.
Does this ever get any easier???
I’m her2 positive triple negative stage 3 also have dcis in both breasts xx

Hi TaashaL,

Well done for posting and good news about your chemo progress. The emotional stuff is sooooo hard. I am sure that feeling cr@ppy from chemo adds extra cr@p on top. I am not as far along as you but appreciate the losing confidence etc. Let yourself have the breakdown and have a jolly good sob when it comes. Everyone tells me to kind of write off these chemo months and just count them down and I think it’s the best we can do. Despite saying this use this forum and head for the ‘going through treatment’ threads as you’ll ‘meet’ loads of us going through the same old 5h1t :wink:

With respect to your questions on fertility speak to your oncologist as soon as you can. There is too much going on for you to know what to do at this time so ask your questions and they’ll know what to do.

If you are feeling very down please speak to your oncologist and GP in case you need some meds to help or even some therapy to talk stuff out. Don’t feel like you have to be brave, save your energies for getting through this extremely tough time.

Ali xx

Thanks for your reply Ali,
I’m convinced they put something in the chemo to make you feel like crying! I’m not a natural crier and not great with my feelings either so being teary and emotional is all new to me! Sometimes feels like when u have the big C you have to support everyone else aswell as yourself!
Sometimes feels like the road is never ending!!
Iv spoke to my oncol about the fertility at the beginning as I wanted to freeze some embryos but he wasn’t keen as my cancer was so aggressive so I decided against it after speaking to my family. He just keeps saying I’m young so the chances are my fertility will be fine but he can only be 50/50 and now Iv recently found it that chemo ages your ovaries by 10years?!
My BCN has referred me to a councillor but has a four week waiting list.
Tasha xx

It is helpful, just nice to know there is others out there can be very lonely at times!! Iv lost it a few times especially as one friend was moaning about her hair when I was sitting there with a few sprigs under a scarf!!
Yh your right about the fertility should probably cross that bridge when I get through the other stuff first.
You will be half way through before you know it ?? I’m not finding chemo to bad I did at first but they changed the dosage and coping much better now still cannot wait till it’s all done though!! I’m not looking forward to the surgery!!
Oooh the spa thing sounds good il have a look at the link! I’m a beauty therapist and work have offered but feels weird having work colleagues seeing me bald xx

Glad you’ve found this thread tasha. Keep talking on here, it really helps and there’s always someone who’s going through or been through something similar to hold your hand and give you virtual hugs. You might like to see if there’s a Look Good Feel Better session near you. And being a beauty therapist it’s something you might be able to give back when you’re ready. Xx

Thanks dawn, I was booked on the look good feel better course last week but unfortunately ended up being admitted to hospital so missed it currently waiting for another place.
I have also thought about about offering massage services when all is done an dusted ?
Thank you xxxx

Hi Tasha,


I’m not sure where in the UK you are based but The Haven have several locations in the UK and also do phone counselling too. I went there last Tuesday for my first session and it was very helpful and I felt comfortable with the therapist they assigned to me. You can have ten free sessions of any therapy you want there. I’m sure Macmillan do something similar too and the helpline on this site is very useful as well. One of the few positives about BC is that there are an awful lot of resources out there for us to use for support.


It’s a huge thing to go through for anyone but especially at your age. It’s no surprise you feel the way you do so don’t beat yourself up about it. 


I’m seven weeks post chemo. I have a centimetre or two of hair and noticed today that my eyebrows are making a come back. It will end and things will get better although you could not have told me that when I was diagnosed.


Wishing you much strength. 


Ruth xx




i would recommend contacting the younger women’s breast cancer network.  If you google sarah perry breast cancer blog (it’s something weird like hbocuniformed) she has the links on there & I think Rebecca does too on fightslikeagirl. I think it would be really helpful for you to talk to some ladies in their 20s & early 30s so you don’t feel like you are the only one. All the very best for the rest of your treatment.  Why don’t you try some meditation whilst you are waiting for counselling? I know it sounds hippyish, but it’s so amazing for calming your emotions.  I have downloaded an app by Glenn Harrold called Healing.  It only takes 30 mins a day. Big cyber hug coming your way. xxx

Hi Tasha,

I can so relate to you. Although i am slightly older with no kids so i was refeared for infertility testing in London by my oncs its all free if you are NHS. They do an internal ultrasound and do a blood test. Results take about 2 weeks unfortunately for me it was no go. But at least i know now. You are very young so after chemo etc they could freeze some of your eggs if you choose. This does get better. Hold on in there. Sending you a hug xx

Hey dizzydee,
Sending a hug back, Yh the fertility thing is something that is always playing on my mind so fingers crossed at the end they can do this test for me an results are good. Trying to keep my chin up had a better day today, but back in for 5th chemo tomorrow xx

Just to let you know you aren’t alone. I’ve just been diagnosed at 28 with spread to lymph nodes. Have mastectomy on Monday then will have chemo and radio. Big hugs. It is an emotional roller coaster. Xx

Hi tasha, just like yourself and Kirsty I am recently diagnosed young at 27. I’ve just had surgery and waiting for results, I hate the waiting! Hugs to everyone on this forum, it’s helped a lot. If you want to talk please do, one thing I’ve found that i feel is that it can be a very lonely illness. X

Hi Kirsty,
Sorry to hear your news hope al goes well for you on Monday! Are u having recon straight away? I think I’m going for implants. How have you been feeling?xx hugs

Hi cara,
I agree can be very lonely at times, hope your news comes back good! My chemo is working brilliantly, got an spot on April to book surgery then after that they will check cells to see about radio.
There is so much to think about and register, I sometimes still feel now that it’s not happening to me! Iv just got home from my 5th chemo got three more to go then a year of herceptin xx hugs

How has the chemo been? I was told I’d be going through it as I’m grade 3 and at 1st I just took the news at it is but now I’m dreading the whole process x

Chemo was hard at the start then they changed my dosage and was easier I’m normal bad for 8-10days then rest of it I’m ok still really tired and drained and I have really bad aches and pains but it’s nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be!! I thought it would take so long when they said 6months of chemo but it’s flew by I have it every 3 weeks my regime is carboplatin and docetaxel aka taxtotere. I hope it goes as well for you!! I was the same at first I just thought ok just got to get through it and it is really hard but trust me you will find a strength you didn’t even know u had!! When do you start chemo? Sending hugs xxx

I did get took in hospital as I got the flu due to chemo crippling my immune system and took to a&e after first dose as one of the side effect is diarrhoea and it was really bad for me. But it hasn’t stopped me doing anything when I feel good. Try and plan something after every chemo for when u feel better or buy yourself a treat it helps having something to look forward to xx

My consultant said end of April and it’ll be for 4 months but that’s now depending on surgery results then 4 weeks of rads and 10 years of tamoxifen… I am not looking forward that part either I’ve read so many bad side effects on here about it. I’m going to try work through chemo and have 2 young children 1 who is at nursery and is forever catching something so it’s going to be tough trying not to catch his germs. Buying a treat after each round sounds great, are you allowed massages while going through chemo? Xxx

Hi Tasha nothing really useful to add but am sending a big cyber hug x

Morning cara,
Been up at the crack of dawn due to steroids one of there great side effects!!
I would say prep as much as u can for each chemo freeze food so it easier for you to cook, make sure u take as much help as you can all these people that say anything you need most of them are telling the truth, and they feel so helpless in this situation they will gladly help with the housework, popping to the shops and watching the kids. I still have my nephew over night twice a week and plays around 4-5xs a week he’s at nursery Iv told him I have a poorly boobies and that I would loss my hair but that was the medicine making me better but because it’s a medicine superman would use its super strong so someone days I might feel very poorly and not be able to play too much and need my rest. And you know what he has been my greatest support. Tells me how much he loves me have no hair bless him and always asking if I’m ok. He’s just turned four. Kids are super they will help you through no end!!
As for tamoxifen I’m not 100% sure as I’m double negative it wouldn’t have any effect on me so there not going to give it me. All my other family members after from my mum as she caught it really early have gone secondary after going in to remission so that is what I’m mostly scared about.
I stopped working as need so much time of at the beginning for one appt or another and my a beauty therapist could stand all the question at me all the time and was doing 12hrs day just way to much. A lot of people do stay on at work and do flexible time but just remember this time it’s about YOU!! Put yourself first!!
My hospital offers two free massages which is brilliant could ask about the at yours? If not get a note of ur oncologist to say your allowed massage as some idiots think massage can spread cancer which is a load of crap the lymphatic system and cells spread it and they work fine on Ther own without the aid of massage. Even my oncologist said the same. Keep your chin up xxxx