Hi everyone,
i have not posted for a while either. Next chemo for me is the CMF on the 11th, I have been very tired this time and quite low.
i hate seeing myself in the mirror and getting ready is horrid regarding facing the world. Eyebrows have thinned, lashes nearly gone bald head and false breast! I have noticed that my toenails look bruised in the corner? Anyone else noticed that?
i feel the same about my next chemo and when I think about that red stuff my throat constricts, I can still hear the beeps from those machines too.
Debra xx
FEC-T cycle 3 day 12
Hello everyone, I havnt been on for ages either. Its good to catch up with everyone and feel not alone in going through this, so thank you for sharing experiences.
Ulterasound last week shows tumour is ‘breaking up and dispersing’. Good that the FEC is having an effect, but I will be asking what this means re surgery (my logical brain says better it was simply ‘shrinking’ ready for surgical removal??)
Mostly trying to carry on as normal, do as many enjoyable things as possible, and ignore treatment as far as possible. Best prop: buffs from e bay (from £1.99 unbranded). Have worn the wig a few times now, including Steve Earle gig, Glasgow last week. It stayed in the box on Skye, due to southwesterlies gusting 50 - 60 mph, didnt think Mountain Rescue would appreciate having to retrieve it from the ridge. It will probably stay in the box for next trip also, which is to Durness in Sutherland and on to OH’s mum in Thurso, which are also good places to get your washing dry.
Philomena.b; I only had 2 nodes removed, but have had two wound infections, with cording and pain down to the elbow. Concerned if this is after a small op, what are the after effects of the more major surgery going to be? This is my dominant arm, and I work with my hands. I will ask and post any answers.
Glasgow Girl; I’m continuing working, but as I’m self employed, I can pace myself to suit myself, and dont need to come into contact with too many possible infection sources. Downside, no sick pay. McMillan money advisor coming this week, but I suspect I’m not entitled to anything. I will post the answer.
Angiepops; ‘Captain chemo’s log’ 
brilliant!!
Maisiecakes; sound like you got Nurse Diesel, thanks for making us laugh, every hospital has one or twenty!!!
FEC 3 DAY 6
Good morning angels of awesome
ive got 2 days off work, i manaaged not to crash and burn over the weekend but a 10 hour shift seemed to develop and that made me very tired, so i’m just going to take it easy for a couple of days, everyone is telling me i’m doing too much, but i already knew that thankyou very much 
Lori - I’m watching your posts with great interest because ive got docetaxol next and i wonder just how painful is the pain? you say you’re taking ibuprofen, is it actually helping, does this mean we can cope with these new s/e’s. hope youre feeling a bit less achey
Spudgirl - ive got a broken tooth too, its very sharp but i doubt i’ll get to a dentist either. 
Debra - i have dark circles appearing on my nails, its the chemo, branded, from when it started apparantly like tree rings. I’m not sure whats going to happen with them, might just paint them and keep my head in this bucket of sand.
Amber - Lucky lady, that means a week free of s/e’s, that’ll be nice.
Pauline - hope you’re picking up
Fecinora - You need to come to Thurso soon, the weather man says we’ve got light winds for this week! I have to go to Wick hospital and I walk over the bridge- goodness me, i really do have to hold onto my hat (which holds on my wig)!! My worse nightmare is that it flies off and swims out to sea like a little beaver 
Ive still got some cording, it can be quite painful, i thought it might have eased a bit by now but its still a bit dodgy, maybe we have to put up with it? i never asked to be honest, but i might next time i go to hospital.
I have that mouth thing just now. I do believe that its a slime factory in my mouth and the golf ball has reappeared in my throat, most upsetting when i’m wanting to scoff like a piggy. I cant seem to get rid of it and its starting to bother me a bit, i just want to eat my dinner Having said that - moira- I looked in the mirror and wondered why i had such a big head, then i realised it matched the rest of me!! the shot putter has come to my bathroom too! Maybe she’s going to everyones house? Its a bit strange, if you actually stop and take a good look in that mirror - the change in appaearance is unbelievable. I’m not doing it anymore, head back in the bucket for a while! works for me 
Happy days girls, hope we are all well today, and of course beautiful!
angie xx
ECMF CYCLE3 day 4
Hi angels
Not much sleep again but still on top of sickness which is great. Downside is this means I’m eating far more and in training for russian shotput team with some of you. Was already porky to start with so not good!
AmberD I’m having an extra week between E and CMF. Asked onc if I Could move it forward. He said no, because although white cells have been just ok e verytime so far he says they need to be right back up for CMF, and I’ll need the extra time. I’ve Also got an extra week in Cmf cycle 2, to fit in radiotherapy, which I’m Dreading because it means chemo Friday Followed by daily radio starting on the monday for 3 weeks. Can’t Imagine how I’ll Cope - think I’ll Take to my bed!
Love to everyone battling se’s and worrying about what’s to come- with all the great support on here we’ll Get through day by day.
Enjoy the sunshine if you’ve Got it
Love mel xxx
FEC 3 day 8
Morning Angels,
Well it’s a beautiful morning here in sunny Norwich, and finally feeling nearly normal. Although the nausea has not been a problem the meds completely knocked me out, definetly the hardest cycle so far. The shot putter is also at my house, scares the life out of me first thing in the morning. Looking forward to having the energy to get to the gym and loose some of this weight. Most of all looking forward to getting some energy.
hope you all feel normal again soon xx
Morning Girls,
lovely sunny day again, long may it last.
Primrosehill, enjoy your break it will be nice to get away
Spudgirl, sorry you’re having a rubbish time it will get better and hopefully you’ll get your tooth fixed soon. I have steroids for 9 days after chemo, starting with 4 a day then weaned down to 1
Debra, nice to hear from you, tiredness seems to last longer this time as does the sickness. I have a daily snooze after lunch which is unheard of for me but just so tired and feel much better afterwards
Fecinora, just love the name! Good news on the tumour front, must look at the buffs on ebay. I bought one a while ago which also protects my head from the sun but it cost a fortune
Angie, got pics in my head now of your wig blowing off as you’re walking over the bridge. Did fined that wind and wigs don’t go well, I tend to stick a hat on if its windy
Mel think Iam in training to for the Russian shot putt team, it’s awful.
Philomena, glad you’re feeling better. I can’t wait to get back into some form of exercise although not n sure what i’ll be able to do having had all my nodes removed
Cycle 3 seems to have hit us all with s/e lasting a bit longer, and the fatigue setting in.
enjoy the sunshine wherever you are and minimal s/e to all xx
Fec 3 cycle 3, day 11 (I think!)
Morning Angels, thanks for all your positive vibes, seems to have worked as after most of the day in bed on Saturday I felt quite well yesterday and feel ok this morning 
Just caught up with all the weekend posts, they did make me smile - you all have fierce competition for Gold in the shotput, think my name is on it!! I mentioned hot flushes last week and now wonder if it is the menopause, I seem to recall this as a side effect? I won’t be able to tell from my cycle as haven’t been regular since coming off the pill a couple of years ago. I’ll mention to nurses at next cycle but think would fit with some of the symptoms I am getting…
Glad most of you on cycle 3 are starting to pick up now. All the concerts sound fab and great that trips are being planned and life resumes as normal as possible. I have a couple of lunches / dinner later this week so hoping to be good to go
Sorry not to mention everyone in person, my brain just isn’t there yet but Lori - thanks for being honest about s/e’s, it’s good to know what we might expect (for those going onto tax) albeit sounds rubbish, hope you pick up a bit. Amber - 3 weeks for me between fec and tax, enjoy the extra week! Debra - nice to hear from you, sorry you are having a rubbish time, hope you pick up. Angie - you just make me laugh, you paint such vivid pictures with your words
Hope everyone else is well. P.S. have appt on weds with Radio consultant so will let you know what he has to say if anything interesting!
Take care all, Pauline xx
p.s. meant to say on the exercise front, I thought about booking a Powerplate course. Local sunbed place does a course of 30 ten minute sessions for £20. I’ve been struggling with not being able to do any exercise and thought this might be a good way to get all the muscles moving with minimal effort. I had a trial session a couple of weeks back and it really felt good and certainly got the whole body moving (well wobbling really!) - think I’ll go for it. Will let you know how it goes xx
Hellooo!
I got emergency dentist appointment for my broken front tooth crown and miraculously he has given me a temp filling as no injection etc needed. Just got to be careful with it as it was a huge chunk fell off and he said its weakened the remaining bit. He’ll do me a new crown when all this chemo/op/rads mullarky is finished. I could have kissed him,I thought I’d be wearing a paper bag for months.
Treated myself to a new pair of secateurs and a saw today and spent a happy afternoon sawing everything in sight in the garden. I know how to live it up 
Great to read all your posts today, it’s nice to share the fun.
xxx
Afternoon Angels,
Just had such a lovely day. Been out to lunch with ex-work colleagues. Had a really good laugh and no alcohol either! One of them told me I was looking too good and I’ll miss out on my fair share of sympathy from everyone. Another told me she reckoned I’d look just as good as Jessie J if I took the hairy hat off (I didn’t). And another just hugged me big time when I showed them the first shaved head photos. The positive vibes were dancing all over the place
When I got home and logged on here, I had another giggle. Just thinking about our growing team of shotputters. Reckon we’d give those Russians a run for their money! I’ve only put on 4 or 5 pounds so far but all seems to be round the middle.
Glad to hear from Lori and Debra. Sorry neither of you are feeling too good at the moment albeit for different reasons. Keep counting down the days… xxx
You could be right about the hot flushes Pauline. Seems a few of you have had the same. I went through the menopause 7 or 8 years ago and although it was awful I’d still rather do that again than what we’re doing now. Seems more than unfair that you have to put up with both.
Mel, having your rads during chemo sounds a nightmare. They certainly know how to put you through it
Angie, your posts keep us all amused. They’re the tonic we all need. But on a more serious note, you said last cycle that you had a sore neck/shoulder? Mine was a bit tender then but this time round not only is it sore but it feels swollen just above my collar bone on my surgery side. I am a bit concerned. Can’t believe it’s nodes because they were clear at SNB. Wondering if it’s the dreaded lymphoma - I haven’t been doing the exercises anywhere near as often as I should. Still, did them this morning, just before I went out to buy that bucket o sand
Sunny days, everyone,
Moira xxx
hi moira - ive got the exact same again in my shoulder and neck, so i do believe its the s/e’s. so i would keep an eye on it but dont worry, it could go as quick as it comes like mine has. i took paracetomol and ibuprofen when it was sore.
spudgirl - ive got to see the hospital dentist tommorow, got a cancellation! Might see if he’s got any slime remover for my poor little mouth!
angie xx
Evening ladies,
Just watched ONLY CONNECT and got lots of questions right! Confirmation it is day 8 and my chemo brain has gone for another 2 weeks.welcome home brain…looking forward to 2 weeks of lucidity xx
Hi Angie, After worrying about the sore neck most of the day, I went out and cut the lawns at teatime using my one-handed mini hover mower. I can’t push it around with my chemo arm cos the veins hurt too much so I have to use my surgery side arm. Just like I did on Friday - the day before the sore neck/shoulder started. Am I dumb or what? Here I am getting paranoid over nodes and lymphoma when it’s probably nothing more that the first exercise my arm has had in weeks
I’m pretty useless with computers. I’ve no idea how I managed to make the print above so enormous.
Moira xxx
Fec-t cycle 3 Day 5
hello angels, just catching up on all your posts, sorry to hear some of you are having a bad time of it with the s/e, hope you start feeling better soon.
i have to say this time has been a breeze, I’ve had hardly any problems whatsoever. I’ve said it now havnt I, it will come and bite me in the bum!
Mind you it’s a good job I’m fit and well, my mum fell on Sunday do we have been running about after her and taking her backwards and forwards to the hospital. Thankfully we havnt had to take her to the hospital again today as she seems to be ok.
i know were not supposed to spend much time n the sun but it has been glorious and it’s years since I have been able to sit in the sun, so I have a lovely colour now.
im just going to make the most of it until the next cycle with the TAX. So sorry Lori that you are having a rough time, how’re you feeling now?
take care ladies, judy x
So good you’re feeling well judy.Hope mum feels better soon. Enjoy the head tanning but watch those ears!
Love mel x
Judy, I’ve been sitting in the sun too but making sure I have sun protection, we need some treats and it certainly makes me feel better since the bikini will not be comming out this year as Iam likely to be in training for the Russian shot pout team for a while!
Been another lovely day here hope it lasts could definately get used to this.
ive been feeling really cold the last few days anybody else feel like that?
Everybody is quiet today, hope your’re all ok and s/e not too bad xxx
Oh there’s no fear of my bikini coming out this year either Amber, I’d be dragged back into the sea with shouts of “beached Whale” I been having a few hot flushed at night and then my head is freezing, it’s really hard try to regulate the head temperature with no hair.
Mel I’ve not burnt at all yet, even my ears, it’s great, I had forgotten ow nice it is just to sunbahe
EC cycle 3 day 6
I’m a lot better today. Bit of indigestion but shoulder pain gone. Been to visit new grandson this afternoon. He’s gorgeous. Makes me feel all soft and squidgy inside. Best feeling in the world.
Been going out into the side garden first thing of a morning just to get a bit of colour on the head but I can still see colour difference where face ends and scalp begins.
Off out for a meal tonight. Think I’ll have a steak. Good shotputter food!
Have a lovely peaceful evening Angels,
Moira xxx
hi girls
went to dentist today, he patched up some holes. he said the chemo affects the saliva gland which gives us the horrible mouth thing, so i told him i drink a glass of coke to clear it and then got a lecture about sugar rotting the teeth. I wanted to say that i’d got a bit more pressing things to worry about than sugar!!! but i didnt.
another good day for me, hope you’re all good too.
angie xx