Great to se you Katie supporting your Mum, I have a sneaking suspicion that my eldest may also be lurking!
I wanted to share my 2 great momenta today… Taking my grandchildren strawberry picking, and 14 month old Luca picked and ate his first fresh English strawberry, the look of sheer delight was wonderful, followed by me making a quick dash before he ate the next one with the slug still attached! Then outside my house three sweet peas flowered, yellow, purple and deep red. Perfect xx
katiepops, that’s a long time to keep Freddie occupied, good luck.
angie…sleep is good for you and I’m sure there are many other things happening that you miss while sleeping…but luckily your daughter popping in here is one of the good ones! :-)nenjoy your time with her and Freddie next week and the week after.
Paclitaxol cycle 2 Day 2
awake at 5.30am feeling okay, bit of indigestion but had rice crispies and tea and now off for more red face inducing tablets! My steroid side effect seems to a red face each morning…not a good look but the green cream from the LGFB session hides it well!
Hope you all have a good day,
Kate
x
Had my first steroids this morning don’t feel like cleaning the house yet… Going food shopping today as got my 4th chemo, 1st Docetaxel tomorrow at 12 (not looking forward to it as you have mostly been unwell making me worried but I have been ok so far so hears hoping) Nice to see katiepops for supporting her mum. Hope you all have a good day! Lynn x
Had my first steroids this morning don’t feel like cleaning the house yet… Going food shopping today as got my 4th chemo, 1st Docetaxel tomorrow at 12 (not looking forward to it as you have mostly been unwell making me worried but I have been ok so far so hears hoping) Nice to see katiepops for supporting her mum. Hope you all have a good day! Lynn x
Sorry posted it twice and did not even correct spelling of hear/here 2nd time lol x
Philomena - Your so right we all have a lot to be thankful for. I do pray most days for God’s help in getting me through and like you Kate I do believe everything happens for a reason. I have met some lovely supportive people and has change a lot of negative thoughts into positive. It’s made me slow down and appreciate every day with my family and friends. As for Boston Hospital I can’t fault them. Nothing has been too much trouble and the chemo suite answer my call for help within minuets or seconds. (Car Park Free for Chemo too). I only hope that everyone is getting the same. Having said all that youv’e caught me on one of my good weeks. Mood may change to one of wretched dispair after next Tuesday. Te He. x
Mel - Hope youre feeling better soon. It sounds like you are worrying for everyone else too. It’s a lot to take on especially when your feeling ill. It hit me like that 3rd cycle of Fec. Take it easy sweetie x
Off to oncologist this afternoon to sign the paperwork for this dreaded Tax ive been reading about and the Herceptin ive got to have with it. (Taking pen with me that’s ran out of ink in the event she feels that’s happened for a reason too and I shouldn’t have it). And the chances are… Will let you know.
Katiesuportin - Lovely to hear it from your side. Makes me feel better about my own 15yr old daughter who reads my posts too.
Lv and Hugs. Sandy x
Hi Awesome Angels,
I’ve just caught up with the last couple of day’s posts. What a time we’ve been having! When I read Mamakaz’s thoughts on giving up, I thought, Karen, you’ve put it so elequently - it’s exactly how I feel. I walked up Regent Street in London on Wednesday morning with tears running down my face because I’d just had enough. I made my mind up there and then that four was enough for me. Five days of constipation, everything tasting foul, feeling hungover, breathless with stomach cramps and unable to stay awake for more than two hours at a time -that’s it. I’ve had it up to here! Then I read Judy’s post about her daughter’s fears. My heart goes out to you, Judy and all the others whose loved ones are caught up in this sh*t. My OH has been a rock but I’ve seen his face disolve a few times now and I hate it.
Now I’ve just read Philomena’s post re treatment in earlier years. I’m in tears now. How can I be such a wimp and a coward? I have to keep going. I don’t want to die. I don’t even want to be the one in ten out of my cohort who doesn’t make it past five years. I don’t want that to happen to any of us. Ever. Sorry but this is me offloading. I hate this effing disease. Tomorrow, I’m going for a hearing test. I appear to have a motorbike roaring in my ears. I think it’s the chemo. I am terrified of losing my hearing. Is it too high a price to pay for no guarantees?
Moira xxx
ps Happy belated birthday wishes, Kim. Hope I haven’t depressed you all too much. x
Hi Moira
I’m there with you at the moment - absolutely fed up. I’m trying to appreciate that things are better now than they used to be, and also that all around the world women remain undiagnosed and no hope of any treatment for BC, but it’s hard to hold onto this when the drugs are dragging you down. I suppose there are never any guarantees in life. I really want to say I don’t think any of us are wimps or cowards, and it’s not about being brave. We’ve just been unlucky enough to find ourselves here, getting through as best we can, and we are getting through- the good and the bad days- with each others support. sending piles of love and hugs
MelX
2 good things:
best friend came for lunch unexpectedly and cheered me up.
there is a beautiful rose just coming out in the garden
Wow - it seems like the physical effects are really starting to have an effect on our emotions now! I had a little weep again last night about how much this illness has taken from me. My husband reassured me that even if there was only one finger left I would be just as lovely to him, to which I wryly replied that there may not be a nail left on it.
I have a 14 year old son, who bottles everything up and just doesn’t talk about my illness. He has just had a few tests done because he seems to be ill all the time - sickness, dizzyness, stomach ache, no energy. The tests have come back fine so the doctor thinks it is all stress related. His school know about my chemo and told him who he can speak to if he wants support, but I know he won’t go. My 9 year old daughter seems to be coping ok and will say if something is bothering her. I’ve spoken to them both about whst is happening at each stage and try to stay positive in front of them, but you can’t hide away when you’re feeling so ill and it does affect them.
Still as you have pointed out very succintly Philomena, I have a fantastic medical team looking after me, medicine is much more advanced these days and I have the fantastic support of my family around me. In the grand scheme of things this is temporary. We will come through this battle and if we need to battlr another day so be it. Debra has done it before and though you are finding it hard Debra you are doing it again and heading nearer to the finish line!
Katiesupporting - Angie is very lucky to have such a caring daughter and must be so proud of you. I know exactly how you feel about wanting to be kept informed as I felt the same when my dad was ill. It’s easier to deal with things that you know about.
Moira - I have heard of a few cases of chemo related tinnitus. It might be worth looking it up and trying some strategies for that whilst you wait to see your doctor.
Two things that have been good about today - My kids have been home with me whilst their teachers are on strike and I managed to muster just enough energy to take my dog for a short walk this morning and to training school at lunch time. I’m wiped out now though and my kids had to make me some dinner 
Moira, I’ve just realised that my last comment was a bit careless. I don’t want to worry you with another ‘what if…’ . Please ignore it and have your test done first.
Cycle 4 docetaxol day 7
horrific night, my temperature was up on Tuesday and again yesterdayby but by 4 I couldn’t stand how ill I felt, aches and pains all day, an awful itchy red rash all the way round my neck and chest plus the swollen sore tongue. Anyway rang up the chemo unit and ended up in Scarborough hospital for the night. What an experience that was. I’ve just been released and have had my tea at home. I’ve been pumped full of antibiotics and I feel wonderfull. Only slight bone pain, still got the rash but you can’t have it all. If that’s it for the bad effects I will be more than happy.
so my 2 good things are getting home and having a lovely warm shower.
im glad I went in as I didn’t sleep at all last night so I’m hoping tonight I will sleep right through. Plus they’ve taken swabs of my mouth and are going to grow cultures so I’m hoping that the next cycle they will have worked out what medicine will sort it.
i love the inspirational post philomena, it’s crap what we are going througut but at least the cancer has been spotted and its being treated. Mine could so easily have been missed, if it wasn’t for the consultant I would have never known. Plus I was a smoker and i only quit smoking once I was diagnosed, thank god the BC diagnosis gave me the incentive to pack in cigs or with my luck I would have got lung cancer, so things could have been a lot worse.
moira I hope your hearing test turns out to be just wax or nothing serious.
just realised the rash is on my hands as well, and I think on my bottom, I keep scratching like a dog.
docetaxel day 9
hi all,
i think today is the day - i seem to be picking up and have been awake ALL DAY ! wow! My nusrse came to flush my pipes and said i was riight to sleep through it, its a good healer and as for the dose next time, it is just being reduced a little. i did have the option to swap back to fec 
but i said no, i want to get the benefit of all the treatments. Aren’t i good!!
so by my calculations its a 7 day s/e (first two were fine) and i now know how to deal with it, as will all of you. i think we forgot - when fec started and it was all new, we were shocked by it. well we seem to have done the same with the tax, so now we are forwarned thus forearmed! the next ones should not make us so miserable like this one has.
Lynn - my advice to you is dont fight the s/e’s, prepare to sleep them away. and keep up with the painkillers. I hope we havent scared you with our tales of woe 
hope it goes well tommorow.
MelA - i had a similar conversation with my OH when he said if i just had my head sat in the chair, at least i’d still be here - then i told him my teeth were coming loose! It must be difficult with younger children, its bad enough with the grown up ones, thank goodness we’ve got it now and not 30 years ago.
Moira - not like you to be so down, what if its like labour pain? we all forgot that didnt we, so we’ll do the same with all this crap we’re getting now? I have to say my mental state has picked up with the physical state, light at the end of the tunnel?
Sandy - our girls, do you think they probably get to know more than we do? i know mines into all sorts of stuff, shes got lots of tips but she does tell me off sometimes haha
Philomena - seeing that slug, yuk 
Kate - have you got a green face?
Happy thoughts to you all, chins up, march on, we’re over the worst 
angie xx
judy
glad youre feeling better, my nurse said i had to get meds for my awful furry slime filled mouth too, start them tommorow.
if its a 7 day s/e you should be feeling a lot better on saturday. soz, i’m experimenting on you arent i?
angie xx
Hi Angels
Paclitaxel Cycle 2, day 2
Still feeling okay, haven’t even had a nap today but think that’s the steroids as I’ve sorted 3 of my clothes drawers out, walked into town and had a mooch around the shops (didn’t buy any new clothes to replace the ones I’d cleared out which impressed my OH I think!).
Judy - sorry to hear you got admitted to the hospital but hopefully it will help in the long run - especially if they sort out some drugs for your mouth.
Angie - my face isn’t green, the makeup blends into the red and makes my face more pink than red…it seems to work and no one looked at me oddly or passed me a bucket thinking I was going green just before being sick!
I am feeling positive still that my BC has been found and I’m not considering dying is an option from this…not sure what will kill me but I’m planning to be around to bother my OH for a long long time so this isn’t it! Like you Angie I’ll take whatever they want to throw at me to get rid of any risk and hope that they have got it right…I have been luckier than some of you with the SE’s so far so maybe I haven’t hit the ‘wall’ yet, if I do you’ll all know about it! 
Hope you all have a good night and lots of sleep and no SE’s
Kate
x
Judy - forgot to say for my rash they recommended Clarityn or Piriton (Piriton is the drowsy one which I said I didn’t need!). Don’t know if it helped it go away or whether it would have gone on its own but now I have very few spots left.
Kate
x
Angie, I do hope your right and I fel better on Saturday. Now I’m ome I’m feeling the s/e again, gonna pop some paracetamols. Kate I’ve got some piriton so I’m gonna try that now.
kate I think the same way as you, I havnt even contemplated that this breast cancer will kill me and I keep saying it to the kids and to OH. It is easier for us, I’m so pleased its me going through it and not my hubby or one of the kids, women can deal with this crap but if it was happening to my hubby or one of the kids I would crack up. I think that’s why I try and stay positive around them.
Oops
Hi Ladies
EC cycle 4 day 3
touch wood the SE’s are ok so far, the movicol has sorted the chronic constipation this cycle, although it does made me feel sick when I take it, I think it is all in my mind. I am eating buttered toast little and often which seems to work ok in the first week For me.
Moira - so sorry you are down at the moment, it’s not like you, you are normally so upbeat. Hope your hearing problems have more to do with the number of concerts you have been to over the last couple of weeks than the chemo
Judy - glad you are home, a night in hospital is not a restful experience, take it easy and i hope you have a good night’s sleep. I hope your daughter is coping ok.
Kate - I am like you I am glad that they found my BC and are treating it and dying is definitely not on my agenda for the next 20 years at least. people say I’m brave, I’m not at all brave I just have to deal with whatever is thrown at me… I have never done failure and I’m not about to start now.
Katiepops - Angie is very lucky to have the support of such a lovely daughter. She must be very proud of you.
Philomena - thanks for the inspirational post as you say we are lucky that research and treatments have advanced so much over the years. Everyone that I have come into contact with since my diagnosis have been wonderful, it is reassuring to know that there is always someone to turn to when they are needed. I also love the strawberry story, I can just picture the slug
Everyone - we are all over halfway through our treatment now and finally we are beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel, when we all meet up next year we will have hair, eyebrows, eyelashes and nails…hopefully the Shotputting team will have been disbanded and we will all be stronger, happier people than we were at the beginning of this journey.
My two cheerful things for today are my date for the LGFB session has come through for 30th July. Moira why don’t you see if your BCN can get you a place on this date and we can go together? I managed some retail therapy With my niece and we had chocolate muffins in costa yummy!
Hope everyone as good as night as possible.
Kim x
Sorry to hear so many of you are struggling at the moment, this journey sure is a rollercoaster. The extreme fatigue with Tax dragged me down a bit but by the end of the second week it disappeared and have had loads more energy and no s/e this week. We are all more than half way through chemo now, the ‘what ifs’ are always lurking in the background but try and stay strong and we will come out the other end. I just look at my grandchildren and it gives me the strength and courage to take whatever they throw at me to give me the best chance.
Lynn - good luck for tomorrow
Sending you all a goodnights sleep, minimal s/e and n big hugs xxxxx
Forgot about my 2 positives for today, eldest granddaughter having a sleepover and date for Rads 19/8 x