Hiya Everyone
Annie here. I have had 2 infections last week and feel as weak as a kitten.
Totally get where you’re coming from Sharon. I can take pain (buhlieve me!!!) but this felling of … feebleness … is totally alien to me.
As is my thumping heart when I exert myself. My heart was like an ox at echocardiograph (that’s why they could start chemo a week after the lymph surgery) One of the components of FEC is cardiotoxic and I know that it’s temporary but it’s bloody crap! I am only getting 4 courses (but strong) - God knows how I’d manage on months and months of this. I wonder, since the shrinkage was so dramatic, so you think they will still give me all 4 courses? Radiologist said that one more course and they would not have been able to find hthe original site.
I just want this to be ove with, get the op and start to feel like I am ‘me’.
I know that I was only DX 12th Jan, but I feel I can hardly remember a time before that.
I am due next FEC on Friday, bloods permitting. I have been so poorly (now on antibiotics) that I hope they can do it!
Have now lost most of my lashes too. They were maybe half an inch long at their longest but strong, wiry. Now the ones left are weak and wobbly, so my eyes too are watery and my nose is red and raw from the cold and I have no voice from the cough. At lease the ‘stir crazy’ feeling has gone, too pooped to want to go out. Can’t see well enough to read the amazing pile of books that I bought and have been given in preparation of this time of ‘purdah’. Can’t taste anything much and can’t smell anything.
Which is better than last week when all I could smell were farts and smelly socks - in the open air! Chemo is a weird wee b******d, eh?
Can’t wait to be well enough to go back to Maggie’s Centre, due to be there on 8/4 to get my DLA form filled in. At least I won’t have to exagerrate my condition! I was dreading that as I am so honest I couldn’t lie to save me from the gallows!
Please god, let this infection lift soon. You can manage chemo.
What a moaning wee bisom eh? Not usually. oh going to try to post a wee poem that made me laugh (well it did pre all of this)
Here goes kittens
The Boob Poem
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
I guarded them most carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of gentle care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
“O.K,” I said, “let’s do it.”
“Stand up here real close” she said,
(She got my boob in line),
And tell me if it hurts," she said,
“Ah yes! Right there, that’s fine.”
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes,
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter’s in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it’s vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
“Take a deep breath” she said to me,
Who does she think she’s kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
“There, that’s good,” I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let’s just do the other one.
‘Have mercy,’, I was praying.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone “ker-pow!”
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I’d like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.
He he
Thanks for letting me vent, I don’t ususally feel soory for myself …
Annie W xx