I totally get you regarding surgery, I’m the same 15 sessions of radiotherapy which they said should be starting end of June beginning of July. I’ve a planning appointment this Thursday with radiotherapy ( different hospital) have you had any word about this xxx
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Is your mouth pain totally different to EC? I feel like someone has exfoliated my entire mouth and tongue with steel wool. So swollen and sore and no taste at all!!! It also hurts to chew and gums feel soooo sore!
I’m also bloody wiped out and toes and fingers feel all wrong. Ends of toes are really sore especially and almost a bit itchy sometimes.
Still better than EC though weirdly.
X
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Oh @pollyanna1 I’m so so sorry but I’m also pleased your Daddy told you that. You have so much on you. I’m not sure I’d even be upright in your situation. Most of us are struggling with just cancer without worrying about our Dads and dealing with such immense loss. I wish I could take some of it away from you xx
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I’ve got a couple of these but can’t fathom how they work!!! They come with a little ring / toggle thing too. They are gorgeous pattern.
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@elle16 - sorry to hear that! My doctor said the come down after you finish the steroids can be brutal on docetaxel. Fingers crossed you start to feel better soon. I start on docetaxel tomorrow. I started the steroids today - a massive dose compared to what I was on for EC. Knew I had to sleep well last night because I’ll be wired for the next three nights but lay awake all night worrying about not sleeping. Honestly! 
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@kartoffel yes I’m at the RBH, but having chemo at Brants Bridge. Where are you having chemo? Laura x
I’m not sure I would have survived the chemo tummy pain this time without kéfir. I’ve drunk 4/5 times more this time and it’s sorted the bloat every time within hours. Still hate the taste though after years of it!
Can’t do ice lollies because chemo killed them for me unfortunately. The only thing that has made me throw up is the mention of a Calippo since the start of chemo. I literally hurled talking about them. Mental!!!
Everything tastes sooo bland but i can smell curry even though we live on a farm so there’s no curry near me. I’ve gone insane. The hinges of my jaw hurt and I swear someone has taken a razor blade to my inside cheeks. Jeez. This is still better than EC but I can’t identify a single bit of my body that doesn’t hurt right now. Am tempted to take some morphine and switch off because it’s quite hard to escape the joint/flesh/nerve pain.
I mucked out horses this morning and coped and ignored the pain but I can’t figure out whether moving around is better because lying still I can just notice all the pain.
Hollywood promised me vomiting, baldness and being thin. Instead I got nausea, pain, baldness, fluid retention and an addiction to Pringles. Bastards. I was at least hoping to rock my ugly missing boob in Spain with an insanely flat stomach and some hip bones to distract from the boob. Soooooooo unfair! 
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Thanks everyone for making me feel less alone, wire wool in my mouth is a perfect analysis, just feel battered after what feels like my 1654 sleep of the day ,
@pollyanna1 you are incredible, keep doing what you’re doing, can’t even begin to imagine the heart ache and pain you’ve coped with🩷 if I could hug you I would,
Thank you so much for the link, those headscarves look perfect, my delivery man will be pleased 
Keep going everyone, we’ve got this 
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Yes totally different, the EC had a sickness with it and I couldn’t drink tea, I can drink and eat but it doesn’t taste of anything so doesn’t make me nauseous, but could only manage soup for lunch as mouth and throat so sore, but could of been drinking warm mud and I wouldn’t know the difference, EC never completely wiped me but made me feel really ill, yesterday and the day before I was fine, dog walks, house work but then today I still haven’t got dressed 
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I don’t think they taper your steroids do they? I had 4mg yesterday and 2mg today so I’m still faking it so it makes sense that you’re more wiped than me! It’ll be the steroid advantage I have today.
Now the morning 2mg has worn off, I’m wasted. My ankles hurt if I stand up. I feel like I’ve broken them and they don’t work properly.
My neutrophils didn’t come back to 4.5 like normal this time and went to only 3.3 (still okay but low for me) so I know I have to take it easier this time. I can’t take kids to Badminton Horse Trials and go bowling and try and be the hero. Cycle 3 was just stupid on my part trying to pretend everything was normal.
I’m allocating Cycle 4 Docetaxel as the Spa Cycle and am going to soak in hot baths with Oilatum and put food and hand cream and body cream on obsessively and eat (and bitch that it tastes of nothing and that life has no joy without taste) and watch The West Wing and then pull out the most monumentally awesome blood results ever seen on the 11th of June before Chemo 5!
Let’s just set the bar super low and nail it instead!!! At the very least, we’ll have beautiful skin! I’ve just shut the curtains so that I can’t see how much the lawn needs mowing. All I can think is just how much respect I have for anyone with little kids and cancer. Mine are old enough that they don’t ‘feel’ my pain. They can hear me say “Chemo is crap and I’m useless today!” and not worry about me. They see me bounce back so are a bit immune to me lying in bed now. It would have been so hard to have to pretend to small ones that nothing is scary or bad.
I’m not sure I should be allowed steroids. I talk too much anyway and they just make me ramble on. X
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@swk1981 sounds like a fabulous plan, I didn’t ask for a print off of mine but I just took a photo of my notes so I’ve got my blood results but none of it makes sense to me, and I agree about small children I just couldn’t look after a small one today, mines happy chilling and dads on cooking duty, just had a fresh chicken baguette that’s tasted of nothing but has probably took the roof of my mouth off
Think the steroid drop has had a real effect, just waiting for the day to be over so I can go back to bed, think I will take your idea of a soak in the bath though, but even that’s not fun whilst holding one arm in the air to stop the limbo submerging. Going to find my big girl positive pants for tomorrow x
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Maybe we just sack off the big girl pants and don’t bother this time around. We’ve been such bloody big girls lately (emotionally and Pringley).
Agreed on the arm in the air. Sooooo annoying! I took my tubigrip off the other day and a load of dead skin fell out. So attractive.
RIP your mouth. I feel like the tin man in the Wizard of Oz and like I need WD40 on my jaw if I try to chew. Ouch! I think I’d just sit there and cry while the baguette dug into my mouth.
They told me not to eat anything spicy so, of course, all I can think of is spicy food now.
I’d give anything to just have a meal and enjoy every morsel. Anything. I end up on some ridiculous quest to find something I can taste and then realise I could have just not eaten and lost some weight but instead ate a load of tasteless calories. Bloody idiot! 
Just asked Matt to get me fish and chips kids cod bites from the chippie (even though I regret fish and chips every time we ever have them). I just figure I could maybe swallow cod flakes down my throat without drama, kind of like a penguin.
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ok didn’t need much persuading, big girls pants at the back of the drawer, had a soak with my arm in the air, covered every part of my body in some sort of ointment or cream, fresh pjs on and now trying to find a calorie I can taste instead of using my lack of taste to stop searching for my new favourite food. Would love a fizzy drink but I’ve tried and it’s just like burning froth in my mouth 
Thank you for cheering me up, and bloody well done for mucking out this morning x
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I’ve had mouth issues since I started EC with ulcers, pain and thrush in my mouth…. My mouth has been so dry you can see the patches of dry skin and it’s hurt to open. I’ve been alternating between Difflam for the ulcers/pain (you can use every couple hours if you want) and Biotene which helps with dryness. The combo of both makes a difference. The thrush is a whole other issue I’ve needed fluconazole/Nystan for constantly. Also use a soft toothbrush and biotene toothpaste☺️
Re: joint pain… I’ve seen in a few places the best thing is to keep moving/trying to do even light exercise (I’ve heard on podcasts from reliable sources too) and apparently loratadine (hay fever tablet) really helps with this too. I take it before my Filgrastin injections and have never had issues with joint pain from that but have hay fever anyway and take it daily but I’ve seen the same advice for Docetaxel. Maybe start taking that and if it’s too late for this round it may help with the next? Worth a go!
My initial neutrophils were 5.23 btw and I went down to 0.45 after first chemo even with the injections. They delayed it a couple days and it went up to 1.45 and for my 3rd cycle they were 1.17 so you’re defo doing much better than me with keeping more normal levels. Im just praying they stay above 1 for chemo on Friday as that’s the limit for it to go ahead😬 bloods on Weds so fingers crossed!
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Another Pringles addict! I never ate them before now it’s the one thing I can just about taste! Thanks for everyone’s comments about the extreme headaches earlier. I’ve taken all your advice and emailed my BCN just to see what she says. I have also been inspired by @swk1981 your headscarves look fab so I’ve been watching some YouTube videos trying to create some looks! I think it may take a bit of practice!
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Just spent a long time catching up on all your posts, sorry to hear about all the negative side effects of this flipping chemo 
My feet are peeling today and the skin above my lips is tingling 
But I only have 5 injections this time and it’s already time for the 4th one!
And you were all correct- my hairdresser cut my hair on Saturday and it does feel better than the straggly, baldy-man look that I’ve been sporting for the last few weeks. Didn’t stop me shedding a tear tho.
I think you are all amazing and managing such horrible things in such a magnificent way, so keep going and be easy on yourselves xx 
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Ah, I’m having chemo at RBH. They gave me the choice of Bracknell or RBH when I started and I figured I’d go with the slightly shorter drive over what looked like the nicer facility. How are you finding it?
For @hc1973 and anyone else looking to learn how to tie headscarves, there’s a group called Headwrappers that does sessions (both online and in person) on how to tie scarves. I attended one at the start of my treatment and it was really helpful because I was rubbish at it. You can find out more info here: https://www.headwrappers.org/services
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@kartoffel Bracknell is a lovely facility and there’s no issue with parking! Which there always is for my appointments at RBH- I use the Just Park app when I need to RBH. Are you allowed visitors at RBH? Laura x
@gromit12 The parking at RBH is a nightmare, that’s why I ask them to schedule me in early in the day for chemo. I’ve got an oncologist appointment this week in the middle of the afternoon and I’m already dreading finding a spot! No visitors allowed for us unless they’re a carer or translator because it’s all in one big room with 15-16 chairs and it would be chaos if everyone had a visitor. Are they allowed at Bracknell?
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@kartoffel no visitors at Bracknell either, though as you say space is limited. Which consultant are you under? X