Happy Birthday @elle16 i hope you have a lovely day x
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Thank you all for the birthday wishes, itās been emotional but lovely so far xx
@gromit12 i too hope you are feeling a little better today xx
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@elle16 happy birthday, hope you have a lovely day, even if itās a quiet one. Sun shinning here in Northern Ireland, thatās always a plus xxx
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Thank you for all your lovely messages ladies 
kicked butt this morning and dragged myself from my bed!! Not only did I complete the half, I felt there was more in me so pushed on and got to 18 miles. Super proud 
and cake at finish line 
so many other runners said how inspiring I was
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@gromit12 - you are amazing! I was completely floored by docetaxel - canāt believe youāve run that far! 
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @elle16 
I hope youāve had a lovely day despite the steroids and Docetaxel!
Nice to see the sun come out for you! 
Xx
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@gromit12 Youāre like a weeble! Nothing can keep you down for long! Cannot believe what you are capable of doing! Iām saving you as my inspiration for afterwards since Iām just bloody useless right now! X
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Hereās mine. For cancer, itās up to Ā£10,000. Ā£100 per day for every chemo/surgery etc.
Could help towards the cruise!
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@gromit12, totally amazing. Youāre such an inspiration, youāre giving me the encouragement I need to get moving xxx
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@gromit12 you are amazing! X
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@swk1981 thank you, Iām ringing them tomorrow if my brain works lol,
Iāve had a lovely day but mostly slept, taste has gone again , not that it came back properly but keeping on top of mouth wash, and trying to drink lots of water, how have you been this time?
@gromit12 congratulations, you are incredible, well done 
xx
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Taste completely gone. Faster and worse than last time. Am obsessively rinsing my mouth but can feel my guts starting to take a bad turn.
I donāt think I realised how much the neutropenic sepsis thing traumatised me until last night when I started to feel the guts and mouth and bone pains and I freaked out. All the things I associate with neutropenic sepsis are the totally normal side effects of the Docetaxel but my body had a huge panic response thinking itās close to dying. I really struggled to not freak out last night, scared of ending up back in hospital.
Is your taste so bad that you canāt even taste mouthwash? Mine is literally non-existent! My brain has started to remember that thereās no point in eating anything calorific. Not all the time but Pringle Fest has ended for now!
The hardest bit I find is keeping going on water endlessly. I seem to really need 3L a day at this point as 2L doesnāt = clear wee. I guess our livers need all the help they can get!
I also was not aware that you could experience pain where you went āHoly hell! I can feel every single individual bone hurting!ā rather than just thinking āWow, my back hurts!ā Itās not like anything Iāve ever experienced before.
One more, lovely @elle16ā¦one moreā¦then weāre getting there!!! 
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I can taste the mouth wash today and I can taste sweet things but donāt fancy them. Iām normally a savoury kind if girl but thatās not doing it for me, bran flakes are good as they taste of nothing anyway so donāt feel like I missing anything, Iāve been advised by a friend whoās been through chemo to try coconut water but I just canāt face it, I feel like itās wiped me out quicker this time and like you Iām anxious of being really poorly again, I didnāt go for the meal today as donāt want to eat anything I havenāt prepared or be around lots of people,
Iām off to bed now and hoping for a good night sleep, it hit me hard on the Monday last time so Iām keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow, Iāve actually been constipated again today so donāt think itās effecting my stomach like it has you, but letās see what joys it will bring me tomorrow. Good night my lovely hope you get a decent nights sleep 
@elle16 @swk1981, hope you both are feeling better today. Iām on day 6 and have found this cycle much worse with tiredness and bone pain. Iāve no taste or appetite and feel constantly nauseous although 2 omeprezole daily has helped with indigestion.
Itās totally understandable that you feel anxious, I know for me it was always that first week I felt frightened and vulnerable incase I took an infection as I know each time previously I ended up back in hospital. This chemo really plays with are minds and bodies. Xxxx
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@ivy-cat itās natural to be anxious especially when we get a glimpse of normality, feeling slightly better then to have another cycle. Ive found this the hardest part. The way I explain it to my family is thereās no other illness that when you feel better you have to make yourself sick again( chemo) to get better. I probably havenāt worded this very well, brain is mush lol.
I know you feel youāve a bit of a road ahead with surgery yet but I just want to reassure you, chemo is the worse part and youāve already done so much.
I started this journey in November last year and canāt believe weāre in the middle of June. I keep holding onto what my surgeon told me that Iām investing in my future.
Iām at the stage if one more person tells me I look well Iāll scream lol. My close family just say to me nowā you donāt look too bad, considering everythingā this I can live with.
Hopefully the shoe shopping went well 
Pauline xxx
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I view the whole fiasco as I am not ill, started this journey at peak of health and fitness. But every 3 weeks they are poisoning me and then I have to go into battle to fight the wretched stuff. Itās just a bloody battle. A friend posted a gif of me yesterday -Wonder Woman smashing through stuff- wish I could post it in action -she saw it as congratulating me on my run -I see it as me smashing through the chemo and cancer cells
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I had this also and put the smallest amount of vaporub ( slightly stingy) in it and cleared in a day or 2. I now put a bit of Vaseline on nostrils every morning t as a barrier and have found this helps with nose running.
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Just done an online workshop on lashes and eyebrows with Head Wrappers. Canāt remember booking on it but it was well worth it.
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