“What was that all about?” sums up a lot about how I feel about the first 42 years of my life since getting cancer! I’m not sure I even recognise the person who went before. Either way, she was wayyyyy too stressed! X
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Good morning ladies, I’m not even going to attempt remembering individual names this morning as my brain is not cooperating,
Welcome to the new ladies, thank you for joining us and sharing your journey,
I’m day 5 of second docetaxel and I’m officially half woman half mattress, absolutely zapped, and like Sarah I’m panicking about my mouth, think I’m going to try saltwater today in between mouthwash.
Headaches are back and aches and pains and my tank is empty, but showered and dressed this morning so im taking it as a win.
Just keep telling myself just one more !!!
I agree with the other ladies that chemo is so much worse than surgery, I had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed, slnb was worse than the lumpectomy for me as I suffered some nerve damage and cording but kept going with the physio and got to a place I’m comfortable with, still suffer with numbness but on the grand scale of things I know I’ve been fortunate.
Sending you all strength and love and hope today is kind to us all 🩷
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Not usually a big sharer of this kind of stuff - but had to share this as it sums up how I feel about this group! Emma x
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Sorry for the random message amongst all the chat but I’m getting my first Herceptin jag today before chemo and I’m so nervous it’s unreal! Funny how I’ve never been nervous about chemo itself but the thought of the herceptin jag is giving me the absolute fear. I know it won’t be as bad as I’ve built it up to be but I’m still quite scared of needles and the thought of a prolonged jag in my thigh is tipping me over the edge this morning…. Glad it’s first to get it out the way though🙈 arghhhh! Such a wimp😂
I don’t even know why I’m posting this just need to vent!
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Hope it goes well for you, I’ve not had to have it so I’ve got no advice, but I’m thinking of you, doesn’t sound pleasant really hope it’s not too traumatic, lots of love and luck for it xx
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@belle1 - I’m not bothered by injections but I would absolutely hate that too! Hope it’s not as bad as you expect x
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Love this xxx
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@belle1 I too was ridiculously nervous about my first herceptin last week. It really wasn’t as bad as I’d anticipated. First advice is don’t look! Huge contraption thing which rests on your leg. The first ml has local anaesthetic in so it really didn’t hurt. Had timer on my phone and we talked rubbish for 5 minutes!! 
It does leave a spectacular lump which took day to go down, but didn’t particularly notice it. You’ll be fine. Laura x
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Thanks everyone - and thanks for the heads up about the contraption on my leg lol!
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How often do you need to have them @belle1? I hope it goes okay. Thigh and butt injections are the worst!
Try and imagine any rogue cells being wrapped in Herceptin and being blocked from feeding off anything. The little fuckers are being engulfed and starved! Mu ha ha! Die, you little shits!!! This is where the long term magic happens and grinds cancer to a halt with the long term drugs! God I love picturing suffocating, dying cancer cells. The little buggers deserve everything they get for what they’ve put us through! Xxx
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Don’t be afraid to ask for numbing cream then! I use it for G-CSF because I’m so pathetic! Whatever gets you through it!
One done, 16 to go @gromit12!!!
This really is the gift that keeps giving isn’t it? 
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@kartoffel @swk1981 thank you for the bupa information, I’ve rang them this morning and like you both said I am entitled to the cash benefits, feel like I’ve achieved something today and would never have thought of it without the information from you both, 🩷 xx
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Yes it’s nice to have some good news, and I can also use them for some alternative treatments that I can’t get on nhs, but I’m going to hold off these until chemos finished,
How are you feeling today @swk1981 ? I’ve done nothing but rest and don’t want to jinx myself but feel a little better, hopefully rest and water is the key and will come out of this week unscathed, I’m just conscious that I went down hill on day 7 last time , having bloods checked tomorrow which is reassuring me that they will stop my injections if my neutrophils are going crazy high again,
Also did you have sports day yet? I can’t remember when you said it was and keep thinking about how it went for you? Xx
Aw today didn’t go to plan at all! I went in and they didn’t seem to know about my jag till I asked when I was getting it as I was more and more anxious as time went on. They checked and seen that I was due it but wanted to get my cannula in first then get the Herceptin done.
Unfortunately they tried 6 times with my left hand (as right can’t be used now) and even used an ultrasound machine by the end to find veins but my veins kept blowing as soon as the cannula went in. I got assessed for a PICC line but the veins are too small and knackered from the EC for that too so I need to get booked in for a Hickman line. They said it’s usually a couple weeks wait but they’re going to make phone calls to a couple hospitals to see who can get me in first and to try get me in asap so I’m just waiting now and should get a phone call at some point soon to let me know when I’m booked in for😏 chemo will be on hold till I can get it sorted
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Oh @belle1 I’m so sorry! That’s just rubbish. Did they do the Herceptin at all then?
It’s bonkers how much things differ between hospitals in some oncologists refusing to do a thing without a PICC at the beginning and others pushing it through peripheral veins. I don’t get it.
You must be done in by today after being nervous about it too! X
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I’m tired and shakey. My mouth is hacked up and sore but guts are holding okay but loose.
I feel happy that I’m in a better state than last time but it’s been tiring assessing myself endlessly.
Off to a Look Good Feel Better at 4pm in the hope that I can learn how to do make up at 43 years old. Don’t have the energy but I’m kind of in it for the goodie bag and to have some quiet from the kids.
Am mostly sat in bed watching Ascot having placed loads of bets on races today.
I think it went so badly last time that I am setting the bar low with drinking and keeping mouth clean as a good day. My brother messaged asking how I was and I said “Alive!” and I realised I did literally set the bar at that for this cycle 
The bone pain and weakness blows my mind with this drug though. I’m not sure 4/5 months of muscles wasting away helps either. I’m think I may have lost weight but I’ve also lost all muscle so am just all loose and weak.
I’ve faced that I’m not doing anything until this weekend. I just don’t want neutrophils or 0.5 OR 40 this time.
Not sure whether we’re doing bloods though mid-cycle. I’m not sure I want to know my liver bone bloods again after last time! X
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