@ivy-cat Some people don’t unfortunately. My mum has a neighbour who had breast cancer last year and just after I got diagnosed we bumped into the neighbour when on a walk. My mum looks after the neighbours granddaughter sometimes so they talk and mum had been upset after my diagnosis and told her about it kind of thinking she’d be able to have a bit of a chat and see how her experience had been etc. She’d had stage one BC, not sure what type but she had surgery, a weeks radiotherapy and no further treatment as far as I’m aware but either way our diagnosis and treatment plans are quite different and my mum thought she was learning stuff as she didn’t realise at the time how different they could be/how many different types of BC there are.
When we bumped into the neighbour, I’d never met her before and she just started going on about how the lumpectomy is nothing, the biopsy was worse, and about her diagnosis and how she wasn’t phased at all about having breast cancer and didn’t cry once and even to this day hasn’t cried once. She was so blasé and kept going on and on…. I get that her experience was a good one in terms of her surgery going well and her feelings are different but she kept going on about how she was fine and didn’t cry (I’ve no idea why she brought it up or emphasised it so much). All I could think was well aren’t you insensitive and she was lucky I wasn’t having an emotional day that day! I’d just had my first chemo, had stopped working and was still waiting on genetic test results etc so all sorts was going through my head and it was really not helpful 
All I know is I’ll never be that insensitive to someone else with cancer!!
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Just catching up on all the messages @elle16 congratulations on your last Chemo your cake looks great. You do look really fab. My children ( all adults) were like yours when I finished, flowers balloons and a cake. I think it just meant so much to them as I didn’t realise how worried they were. I know this is only part of our journey but for some reason I think chemo scared them more than anything.
@altoan i hope you’re feeling better, I know you’re not celebrating but well done to get through chemo as you haven’t had it easy. if anything I can tell you is nothing will ever be as bad as chemo. Radiotherapy has me feeling fatigued and slightly sunburnt but I’d take this and surgery everyday over chemo.
To all the others worrying about the future I’m exactly the same. I think when we feel so poorly our minds tend to wonder. My daughter gets married next year and all I was worried about when I got diagnosed was will I see her get married now in a good day it’s will my hair have grown. It’s just an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs and I think we all need time to mentally heal.
I live in a small village and have mainly avoided shops as I get the stories of how so and so had breast cancer and they were great going through treatment or how lucky I am someone always knows someone who died of it. Some people have no filter.
I think we all need to be kinder to ourselves this has been one hell of a year for us and I truly mean it when I say I couldn’t have done it without everyone here. There’s a bond we’ll always share that no one else will ever understand.
Pauline xxx
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Thank you Pauline, my children big and small associated chemo with making me sick as I’ve been a shell of myself since I started and I don’t look like mom anymore, they were so happy it was my last one,
Just a quick update on my ultra sound today too, there were 2 lumps which they confirmed were both cysts, they injected them today and I literally watched them disappear on the ultra sound, never been so pleased to have an injection in my boob, been an emotional day.
I’m going to rest now and wish the next couple of weeks away and hope everyone’s current treatment is kind to them, sending love and strength to you all xxx
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Aw that’s such good news about your lumps - really happy for you that it’s all sorted☺️
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@elle16 what fabulous news, so pleased for you. Laura xx
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That’s amazing news, such a relief to you. Xxxx
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Phew - what a huge relief!!
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I have a random question…. My resting heart rate is usually about 45-50bpm but since I had Docetaxel/Herceptin it’s been about 55-60. Has anyone else’s resting heart rate changed on Docetaxel? It’s quite a minor change but just wondered as it’s been consistent at that since my last chemo. I’ve still been exercising the same as on EC without issue it’s just my watch flashed up saying there was a new trend in my resting heart rate and when I looked I seen it’s been since starting Docetaxel. I’m going to ask about it when I’m next in as I know it can affect the heart etc🤔
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@belle1 my resting HR pre chemo was 52. It is now 63-65. It went up on EC. Had an echo about a month or so ago and they weren’t worried. HR on running often too high at 160+, so I monitor HR and walk when it remains too high. Laura xx
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Thanks… I’m guessing it’ll just go back down again after the nasties are out of our systems. Yeah mines was fine on EC but just noticed it was slightly higher on the change of drugs. I’m the same for cardio - when I’m doing spin I just keep an eye on it and pull back a bit to let it go back down so I’m not pushing it too hard as I’m quite conscious of not going above my max heart rate!
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@belle1 - I totally agree! One thing I’ve definitely learnt from this whole experience is what NOT to say to someone with cancer x
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Yes mine has too - it started to go up on EC and now it’s just generally higher. I’m hoping it will come down once I’ve finished chemo x
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Mine has also increased since docetaxel, was fine with EC xx
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@pollyanna1 - you’re always so kind and reassuring, I really love reading your messages x
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Spin class, you are amazing, 
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Eating is even more soul destroying on the 3rd Docetaxel. I didn’t know it was possible to feel even more miserable about food. Everything tastes wrong. Either like soap or sugar (and not in a good way when it’s spicy chicken pasta).
I’m soooooo desperate to taste food normally! I’m obsessed with it.
It smells right but just tastes completely wrong.
And I think I never want to eat a Pringle ever again after the last 4 months.
Tried a Tony’s Chocolonely Salted Caramel too and it tasted like chips.
Please send help. Someone. Please. I want to enjoy food so badly! 
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I’m feeling the same, taste is worse than it’s ever been, I’m so looking forward to a normal tongue. Everything just tastes wrong, in my head before I put something in my mouth I think yes this is what I want but then tastes nothing like it should and in a really bad way,
Ended up with crunchy nut cornflakes for my evening meal 
I’m on paclitaxel and it’s no better! Treated myself to a mini snickers today and it was such a disappointment- salty, metallic yuk! Asked my hubby why the stir fry could taste so salty when I hadn’t added any and he looked at me like I was bonkers 
Wondering if I should even go for lunch with my pals on Wednesday or just stay home and be disappointed in my own food for free
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That’s exactly it! It’s the disappointment of it smelling normal and tasting sooooooo wrong.
I didn’t eat until tonight. It was like some pathetic protest against my mouth which just made me grumpy but hunger is so pointless without taste.
If I wasn’t so scared of going into hospital I would just not bother eating and at least be skinny.
Are you shakier than normal on this one? My joints hurt loads, especially the ankles again. I’m less tired I think but just weaker and shaky constantly.
Don’t bother trying thick cut chips by the way. Texturally, it’s like trying to eat some kitchen roll that’s been dipped in flour 
I almost wish I was knackered like on EC. I realise now how much I slept through those cycles compared to these. Sleeping made it go faster! Docetaxel just seems to be all about the mouthwash and water drinking and never feeling hydrated, no matter how much you drink.
X
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