Hi Bev
I know where you’re coming from! I wonder if our bodies (and minds) make sure we get through all the cr@p and then relax just a bit too much when the worst bits over so it then takes us longer to get back to ‘normal’? I certainly felt better in my ‘good’ weeks during chemo than I’ve felt for most of the time after! Not how it was meant to be. Hope you get things sorted soon with the taste and post-rads redness. I think we all understand how you want to avoid any more trips to the GP or, worse still, the hospital 
Maybe try probiotic tablets as these may give you a bigger hit of good bacteria than the yogurt is giving you? I’m definitely counting down to the end of this year and hopefully start afresh in 2009. What an awful time we’ve all had. However the good thing to come out of it all is meeting up on here and being able to express ourselves (and rant and rave and moan) without inflicting all these nasty thoughts and complaints onto our loved ones, who probably wouldn’t know what to do or say. Try and do or have something to cheer you up today - a little treat that may make you feel better? I think I might have my 1st sip (slug?0 of alcohol for a while this evening as I have my 24 hr heart monitor on and the consultant would like to see what’s happening if my palpitations start. I fancy a nice glass of Baileys, maybe with some ice, that’ll slip down nicely!
We’re still not Christmassy having just had eldest daughter’s 20th birthday yesterday. I can’t be that old surely to have a 20 yr old? At least I feel a bit better than I did 20 years ago when I was in intensive care after pre-eclampsia complications set in and she was in the special care baby unit as she was 6 and a half weeks prem. You’d never think it now, especially as her treat to herself yesterday morning was to eat a whole tub of Ben and Jerry’s icecream for breakfast. It nearly made me heave! She then went for a run (dumb move) and nearly heaved as well.
Yesterday I felt worse but I think that may have been down to my irrational eating the previous day which made me not want to go too far from the loo (again). Hopefully today I’ll be getting better, who knows? Also yesterday my youngest had her Cambridge interviews which I was meant to take her to, however she had to go with Dad instead. A long day for her and then up early this morning for a German trip to the Christmas Markets, hope it’s all been worth it on both counts!
Angie - hope appt went well today, don’t know what your expected outcome is/was but hope it’s what you want.
Lily - another rads ticked off, must be getting nearer to ‘rare’ now? Long way off ‘well done’ I hope.
Lisa - sounds like you’re doing well on all fronts, that’s great news after all the things you’ve been going through recently. Don’t overdo the shopping but make some time to treat yourself.
Julia, Lorraine and everyone else I hope you are all OK and getting on with the hectic-ness that is Christmas. In some ways it’s been good to be housebound as I’ve missed out on all the rushing around - not sure OH will agree with me though as his last weekend was rather packed with doing all the stuff I usually do. Oh well, I’m sure it won’t harm him once in a while.
Love to all
Nicky xx
Hi girlies: Having skipped through all the posts over the last couple of weeks, I think I agree with Lily that it is time to have another major subject of conversation with people.
My party was great, everyone had a good time and because they were all conscious of how tired I get they were all gone by 5pm – normally I have to sweep the neighbours at about 9pm!
Last night I had girly night with my very best friend. Have to say I was feeling really really fed up – when I look back over this year there isn’t much to cheer about, I’ve got to the end of the poison and that is about all you can say. After delicious dinner a one of the Loch Fyne fish restaurants we went back to Lynne’s and had a long discussion about what I was going to do next year. Some sun somewhere – lots of discussion about where, how I am going to manage the two day work week as I keep thinking I would like to do more, but hopefully once I can get walking more (still have agony hip from falling on ice with dog the other week) will at least work off some of the flab. It is difficult to plan anything until I get over the rads and know what they are going to give me. Still not happy about Tamoxifen and think I will dig my heels in if they suggest that.
Just gone back to one of your posts last week, Lily, and I still don’t have any idea of what they think they are going to give me. The Herceptin has to wait until after the MUGA scan on 30 Dec. Will be nice being radioactive on New Year’s Eve!!
Nicky – know what you mean about the wig – at home I don’t bother but have a hat handy in case anyone calls. My lovely hairdresser thinks it will be about 3 months before I have proper hair – but rather like your daughter, I prefer myself without the wig and think when it grows back will be keeping short à la Judy Dench. Will have to buy some hats to cope with the cold weather though – new style statement coming up. Had long hair on legs, so shaved it and now it isn’t coming back – obviously having a hissy fit about being shaved off.
Nicky: Hope they sort out your palpitations – having had them for about 30 years, the only thing that helped me was when I was a mega-aerobics bunny – like six hours per week – and the cardio exercise strengthened b my heart muscles. Can’t think I could do that now and would not recommend it to you but it did work!!
Bevy – you rant on we all are in sympathy. I remember when I first joined this thread – God knows how long ago – I said I felt like standing in a field and screaming and stamping my feet like Violet Elisabeth Bott in Just William. Some kind soul said you can stamp and scream on here as we all know how you feel. Thought that was really nice. Really understand your last lines – I think I am so sick to death of it all that I can hardly bear to talk about it any more except on here. I don’t want people continually asking how I am – how ungrateful can you get!!
Lilly and Angie – the wedding plans sound great at least it will take your mind of the BC.
Haven’t done much for Chrissy yet – not having any family other than sister – and come to arrangements with all friends of the years – you don’t buy me one and I won’t buy you one – that isn’t a problem. Just buy daft things for a couple of close friends and, this year, them what been really good supporters.
We had our office party a couple of weeks ago and my lovely boss dished out pressies like an awards ceremony – I got the award for “A tidy office is a happy office” as I can’t abide a scruffy messy office. He gave me a miniature Henry vacuum cleaner for my desk. How cute is that?
Am going now as it need to go out and shop. Take care all of you, we are getting there.
Love
Julia
xxxxx
Lily… 9 weeks till my wedding… that would mean we’d set a date or something. We’re not doing that until we’ve found some ID and booked the registry office (no churches for me, lets just say me if there is a god then and God and I have a difference of opinion right now)
Really glad your enjoying the xmas shopping, everyone here is getting prints from Tommy. Apart from my 14year onld step sis who’s getting a lava lamp.
Bev… I so know what you mean, to the point that I’ve even stopped telling you all about my appointments as I’ve just got bored of them but today it was to see the gynea and she’s a lovely lady but suddenly there I was alone in the room waiting for her to join me to be inspected and a wall of “something horrible and you” leaflets all about various cancers and I kid you not I very nearly ran.
But I didn’t and have had the chat about ovaries being removed etc and will be having a ultrasound of the ovaries in early feb instead… then getting married, going on honeymoon etc and then have them whipped out once I’ve been for a good long walk in sky.
we all agreed that at the moment everything looks fine so best if I recover from this year than rush into things.
But anyway back on track, we calculated that we’ve been to hospital/docs 42 times this year… That’s eqivalent to every working day for 2 months , no wonder we’re all so treatment weary and that’s before we get on to side effects so Bev, know exactly where you’re coming from and if it helps a little distance wil help a lot.
Second what Nicky said about the pro biotics, unless you’re brewing your own super live yogurt then you won’t be getting enough as apparently those yakulty style things have a hundreth of the level of pro biotics that the easiyo stuff that I use has but even then taking the tablets will give you more too so there’s no harm in doing both for a week.
Nicky, have you had any follow up scans after you finished the fec or are they just leaving you alone for a while. Apart from the heart scans etc, hope that you get some conclusion to that and they can change the drug or something.
Story about your 20 year old made me laugh. I expect my *little sis* will do something similar over xmas
Everyone have fun gotta run (Sorry no puns intended
Angie
hi everyone
nice to hear everyone getting on with living, and some even putting all talk of c behind them. way to go! i have been adding more pressies to the space under the tree, i keep saying ive finished and then start again. i brought my elder son a nude lady ice cube tray, and other daft things. my 13 year old as lots of bath toys, i wonder why? i love buying daft pressies, theyre the best.
whats the daftest thing youve brought?
going to go and chill, been so busy of late. mind you, had free reflexology and ti chi class. today so cant be bad.
take care x
Hi,
Angie just 9 weeks to Feb, had it in my mind you were getting hitched that month, did I dream it? Have you lost your birth certificates?? My friend went to book a civil ceremony for 2010 and the time she wanted was already taken, can you believe that? Apparently people can book 2 years ahead so get going fast when you can just in case. Not sure where ours will be, it was a church but now might be a venue. They are planning to rush around looking at all the local options before they decide. I get to see the final 4 apparently, oh and pay the bill!! We are all driving them mad chatting about everything, can’t help myself, so exciting.
Lorraine my space under the tree is totally empty due to a chocolate sniffer dog and a curious 3 year old who can recognise his name!! I lost at least 5 chocs off the tree today. My son decided to light all the candles and then blew too hard putting them out and was covered in wax!! Luckily not burnt so just made me laugh as he spends so long on his hair these days.
I had a jewellery party yesterday and hubby went to see tank top terror and came back worse for wear. He gave him half the fruit at the bottom of his damson gin mixture with custard on top. He walked in trying to act normal and we all went ‘you’re drunk’ and he spent the rest of the evening trying to act normal, not very successfully so was sent to bed at 9pm. I am definitely not trying it! Champagne to celebrate the engagement is more to my taste.
Bevvy I was told that as I am having 15 rads, the effects were likely to start after I finished. Keep doing your creama s though you were on a 30 day dose. I am getting pains through my shoulder too, it might be where a ray exits or keeping the arm over your head. My middle tattoo is so small they almost stick their nose on my chest to see it! Have you got a date for physio yet to help your arm? I think you should try to get help to get it more comfortable as you seem to be very unlucky with it. Moan and shout all you like, yes you deserve to feel better and should be. Big hugs.
Julia sorry to hear your hip is still a problem, did you get it checked out? We have a loch fyne restaurant too but it is next door to Prezzo and the pasta calls me every time! I am hungry just thinking about it as I have not been able to go there for so long. I can now eat tomato soup and sauce, not together!!! Quite a break through, might try salad next. My hair is very ‘M’ from James Bond too. Keep me posted about the hormones/herceptin. An extra year is a long time but I still can’t work out how you might have that unlesss HER2+++. Good luck with the muga scan.
Nicky are you any better yet, I do hope so? How did the Baileys go and did it set your palpitations off as planned? Hope this helps to sort something out for you before Christmas.
Hi everyone else
Lily x
Hi
Well, decided on a glass of red wine instead. Had another one as well - all for science of course! No palpitations kicked off so that was good (for me), bad (for consultant). However I’m not holding my breath yet about whether the new tablets are working as I’d want to go at least another week without any problems before I think they are helping. It would be good though not to be waiting for them to start and to enjoy some wine over Christmas.
I felt alot better yesterday and even ventured into glamourous Basingstoke for a spot of shopping and didn’t need to dash to the loo’s once - so there’s progress! I’m sure this is down to taking Lily’s advice and being more careful with what I eat as the day before I was in trouble after having had some fruit. I also went for one of the M & S Dine in for £10 deals for OH and I tonight, so I’ll have to force myself to have some more wine - shame!
Angie - you must have mentioned February way back as that’s thee month I had in mind. Hope all goes to plan. Definitely take time out regarding the ovaries. Sounds like you have had some good advice. Recover from this year and deal with it when you’re comfortable and ‘in the right place’ after all it’s a major decision and a major procedure whichever way they operate. You are right about the number of times we’ve all been to hospitals etc. I can’t even begin to count! I just know it is 3 times this week and that’s not even for BC! I also don’t write down all the times I go as, as you said, it gets too much or too boring to keep saying it. I know we all understand on here but I’ve now clamped down completely on what I tell friends (and family) as it eithre gets misheard or misunderstood or there’s too much explaining needed. What really p*ssed me off in October (when I had a day stay in the cardio unit) was some of my ‘friends’ managed to do a chinese whispers on me and by the time it got back to my youngest daughter I’d supposedly been in hospital for 3 days! Since then I don’t tell anyone anything I don’t want known, also I don’t want everyone to know all my b**dy medical history or appointment schedule - what a grumps I am If I turn down an invitation eg Christmas drinks etc I’m also not giving any reasons, just that I can’t make it. Rant over.
Regarding scans I am due some probably in a couple of months. Because I stopped Femara for a couple of weeks and then switched to Arimidex the last consultant I saw (at rads planning) said they would wait a bit longer than the 3 months since my last one. I’m fine with that but hope it doesn’t come too close to march when it all kicked off last year! My recurrence was confirmed the day before my youngest’s 17th birthday and she of course had a horrible birthday. Next year (her 18th) I don’t want anything to get in the way, even if it means me postponing any scans until afterwards. Plus it means I would get a better birthday as mine is only 5 days after hers and mine was pretty sh*t last year as well. (Sorry for the extra use of *'s today!) I also asked the cardio (I keep missing off the ‘o’ at the end of cardio so it sounds like I’m talking to knitwear!) about a followup echocardiogram that I had before starting FEC but she said that may be next year, I suppose any damage caused by ‘E’ takes a while to show itself. However I do know my current problems are not related to that.
I have rambled on far too long now, so a quick Hi to everyone else - Lily - I hope OH isn’t suffering too much with alcoholic damson poisoning!
Take care and have a fab weekend
Nicky xx
Hi: Just a quick Friday catch up:
Lily: hear what you say about the hip but I just cannot bear the thought of being sent off for an x-ray. I don’t think anyone realises how much we all hate this – even though it is there to save our lives.
So far as I can tell from my path report I am not HER2+++ just 2/8 hormone responsive which I don’t think is the same thing. We will see when we have the row!! At the end of the day, I can simply refuse to take the bloody things! There goes me again – awkward squad!!!
Having read thru posts since yesterday, I think we are all coming to the same conclusion – enough is enough. I get sick of explaining and doing the “I’m all right me, I’m just fine”. All you really want is to pretend it didn’t happen and try to have a normal life – I think I’ve forgotten what that was. Don’t want to add up all the visits to Hospital just want to forget. Let’s hope Christmas is good for all of us.
Angie: We were married on 14 Feb – 39 years next year – ahhh, how romantic!!! Just happened to be a convenient Saturday and OH could hardly forget could he? We did a registry office thing as God doesn’t figure in my life either. Think I mentioned once before that when my mum died we had a humanist ceremony which was great. My sister and I wrote the script and put in some funnies to make everyone laugh. I always say each to her own.
Nicky: Know what you mean about friends, that it why I was very careful initially about who I told and went completely mental when one friend told others without asking me. Got over that now though and don’t really mind people knowing so long as they don’t get gushy, Yuk!! Hope your progress is good with the scans. I have found with my onc that when I say I want a break and have some time to recover he is OK, witness putting off the chemo until after my hol – about a delay of 3 weeks, and not starting the rads until Jan – that is again about three weeks. See note above to Lily.
Well enough rabbiting on – hope everyone has a good weekend – some sun would be nice even if it is cold.
Love to all
Julia
I did say that we hope to get married in Feb but no dates been set because I have no valid current ID because around the time I was diagnosed we were doing the accounts and sorting the place out and then the bombshell of diagnosis happened and bang paper chaos everywhere.
Well Tommy has just finished sort the office out and in the very last place guess what… my old driving licence which I can now send back and get updated and then go start our intentions.
WoooHooo. I have ID again… I exist!
Hopefully that puts an underline on the missing year for me… found something that just broke me earlier. It’s my birthday next week and 2 days before my last one my cat tribble was diagnosed with PKD and we were told we’d be lucky if she made it to Christmas ie expect her to go any day really, god that hurt, so mum sent me a card that said that “this will be a tough year” for me. My god, she had no idea how true that would turn out to be did she, I was diagnosed 4 weeks later and tribble died 3 weeks after that.
F*** off 2008 is all I can say to that. Brings a whole new meaning to the word relentless doesn’t it, all that we’ve all had to go through.
hi Girls, and manyt thanks for all understanding on my ranting off! It is so good to know I am relating feelings to people who really understand where I am coming from.
Thanks Nicky and Angie for the advice on probiotic tablets I will visit the health shop tomorrow. I think the natural yogurts must be having an impact as it seems to be a little better thank goodness. I hope your palpitations are calming down and your poor tum! Why were you switched from Femera? I am trying to do some research on various drugs available as preventatives.
Julia why are you not happy about the tamoxifen? there is an article in todays paper suggesting that A.I. particularly Femara is far more effective than Tamoxifen which I have just started taking. I am due to see the Onc in January and will ask him about this as it has made me feel unsettled as to whether I am taking best medication. Hope your hip is getting better.
Lily how are the rads going? do you have a t.v screen to watch with various slide shows? I have contacted a Lympodema physio but have not heard back yet as to an appointment so will have to chase that up.
Angie hope all is going to plan for the wedding lovely to have something exciting to think of you enjoy it all.
Have a good weekend everyone.
love Bev x
Hi,
well first week of rads completed ok. I drove for the first time today and of course had a frozen car and freexing fog to drive through. My middle daughter and Grandson came, so of course I had to have a review, etc and was far longer than any other visit. Little chap was entertaining the troops, who are mostly 70 + apart from us Bc ladies. I am on day 9 of my nolvaldex-d tablets (expensive brand of tamoxifen) and no effects so far. Fingers crosse both of these will continue ok. I only have 0ne pressie to buy so quite pleased that is done. One heck of a lot of wrapping though!! Weddings are still the main topic in our house these days, thank goodness. We have been winding our eldest daughter up, as she mentioned that parents in law to be, have bought them a big present (as in large size, we think!!!), so we have been saying we must rush out and buy a bigger one. They actually asked for money so ours might be the smallest parcel in the pile. Now we have to decide how much to give, which is why I hate money gifts. We try to treat all our 4 the same but it does mount up quickly when every cheque is times 4. Then I try to allow for inflation as 8 years between number one and four and he could get married really late or never. I tie myself in knots trying to be fair, not sure if I manage it but the intention is good. Nicky, I hope I don’t ever have to relive those carbs only days, so miserable and sore and even worse never sure I could brave going anywhere. Just be very careful it is a fine balance. I am still not back on fruit or big fibre items and just a few veg. Not sure if I will ever eat an onion again! I like the cardi idea so much more friendly than that slash and sew department. My wound is healing nicely as it has dissolvable stitches but not as impressive as the onco plastic surgeons’ scars which are tiny and disappearing fast. You sound really militant at the moment and I am not surprised at all that you are cheesed off. You seem to almost have more going on now than while in chemo! That is a lovely idea to delay the scans to miss your daughter’s birthday, especially as it is a biggy this year. What will you buy her? My dx day was 29 Feb so it will be 4 years before I get another one of them. Hope you get some useful help from having the heart monitor on. How is your hand now? I watched on tv again this week and you are def much slimmer than me. I don’t know why but I am expanding at present and not sure why as I am doing alittle exercise. It must be the lack of trotski days on cmf!! Julia, take care with your hip. I nearly slipped outside radiotherapy this morning, great place to have a fall! I was ready to be awkward with my onc as wanted nolvaldex but he seems to agree if you tell him why you want them. Will see what the GP says when I run out. I have one tablet a day but have heard of people having 2, not sure why. I have been ok about friends telling each other a slong as they did not rush round and make me feel worse. Otherwise I feel I have to put on a stupid superhuman I am fine act or scare the pants off them with gorey details if they are flippant about it. Can’t win with me, seem to play devil’s advocate. I was very annoyed that someone blabbed to another school as they will now be very hesitant to ever employ me in the future. Too late to worry though, it is done and was not meant badly. It is good that we both get what we want, you to say when you want to be treated so you can have a break and me to say hurry up and get it done so I can start earning money.
I was furious yesterday when phoned up by the job centre and told I needed to come in for an interview to talk about getting me back to work!! I said I have a full time job and I am off after a cancer dx and I am still having treatment actually. She said I am well aware of your health issues but you have been claiming incapacity benefit and must come in. I politely (LOL) pointed out that I had claimed since mid Oct and they had only sent me a letter confirming I could have it the day before and I had not actually received a penny so far. She then needed to know when I was going back to work and couldn’t seem to get through her teeny brain that even I did not know that. Anyway I have no choice but to go in next month. I assume this is some pathetic con by the G.B. (our fav political muppet) team so that they can include me in their figures as having got me off benefit and back to work!!! I might not be very nice when I go in. They have also reduced the payment from £75.40 weekly, which I just managed to get by 5 days, to £60.50 for people from now on. I have never claimed benefit before so this is new territory for me. Can’t imagine why you wouldn’t rather be at work, if at all possible, than deal with pea brainned idiots who think the money belongs to them personally. Thats my rant over!!
Angie well done for finding your id and hope you can get a date sorted now for the lovely day. Also hope you have a fab birthday and nevcer have another year like 2008, although I know you have things to get done still. Strange how things we say become so much more than we envisaged at the time. Please tell her never to write anything like that again!! Spooky! Bevy - I cannot recall what stage/age you are but you can only have AIs if you are post menopausal. My onc says this must be 2 years after the last period, so longer than most people would consider. Tamoxifen can be taken before or after menopause, so is a very useful preventer if you are on the border or they are not sure which. I thought I would get a blood test for it but not for another year. They wait to see if the old machinery kicks into action again once chemo is well out of the system - I hope not!! They are slightly more effective but I don’t think NICE will allow them until your status is confirmed. Have you any side effects of the tablets yet? Just wondering how long they take to kick in if they are going to start flushes, etc. There are no screen shows at rads, just the radio going in the room. I hate those warning sirens and the nasty buzzer, makes me get very tense and then can’t breathe gently. Then I worry I will zap my lungs too much if my chest is too high - what a worrier! Chase up that call as I am sure they will help you get rid of some of your mobility troubles and hopefully discomfort too.
Hi LIsa hope you are out and about having a good time this weekend. Lorraine any news on the job yet?
Take care everyone
Lily x x
Hi all
Bev - I went onto Femara initially but was aware that one of it’s side effects was heart arrhythmia and/or palpitations - and not that far down the list! My palpitations certainly increased in regularity whilst on it. I spoke to my onc about this and she said all the A I’s would do this as they obviously work in the same way. However, after my investigations on the web (and quizzing my GP about what was written in his drugs ‘bible’) I was able to throw back at her that ONLY Femara lists these SE’s, Arimidex and Aromasin don’t. She was a bit surprised (as was the pharmacist she asked). I’m now on Arimidex, after a 2 week break from femara (to get it out of my system) and the palpitations have not been as frequent. I’m still waiting to see how things go on my new drugs for them to see if things can calm down a bit. The cardio I saw seems to think it is linked to changes in hormone levels. Interestingly though my OH was chatting to someone at work who’d asked after me (and had cancer about 4 years ago) and he said he had palpitations after his chemo had finished so maybe it’s more common than I think?
Lily -My hand still gets a bit puffy every so often but generally is much better. It’s also looking a bit more normal than it did. It was very dark under the skin which was only really noticeable when you compared both hands. I still haven’t sorted re-sizing my wedding ring as it’s not calmed down completely but do wear another ring I’ve got if and when I want to. For my daughter’s 18th next year we’ve told her she can have the same spent on her as we did for my eldest 2 yrs ago so it’s up to her what she wants to do. She’d like to go for a meal with us at a top London restaurant (which I said I’d split the cost with her as it can be for my b’day as well) and would like to go on a cookery course as she’s so keen on cooking. We’d like to get her something that lasts as well, like jewellery but she will have to decide what she’s like. We have a lovely lady who has her own shop and designs her own jewellery near us and makes things at a fraction of the cost of main stores so she could get a really personalised present. She’ll probably go clubbing (for the 1st time legitimately!) on her actual birthday and we will have family and friends over for drinks at the weekend. So a busy time for all! I’ve definitely lost weight over the last 2 weeks so I guess I’m even slimmer than my tv appearance Also one of the (more welcome) SE’s for Arimidex is anorexia (or loss of appetite)! Not belittling this when it’s a real problem to many but at least the SE’s go towards that way rather than the Tamoxifen way of increased appetite - sorry all of you on Tam, I know you’ll be queuing for A I’s now! I don’t think my heart monitor didn’t record anything unusual, at least I didn’t notice anything, but they examine all 24 hrs of it and get back to me. Also please give them grief when you go for your interview - flippin’ jobsworths! Make them squirm!
Angie - you are real then? I just thought you existed in cyber space ha ha! Glad you’ve found the necessary documents - how frustrating would that have been? I also know how sad you must have been about your poor kitty last year. I wept buckets when my ‘baby’ was run over a couple of years ago and ended up taking ignatia and aconite for my grief. Goodness knows what I’ll be like when anyone close to me dies! So a totally cr@p year for all of us. I hope you can celebrate your birthday this year and look on it as a new start - sounds like it will be anyway with your wedding coming up. Let us know the day so we can have a birthday drink with you now we’re all off chemo.
To everyone else, hope you are doing well, have a good weekend (wet and windy here at the moment)
Nicky xx
hi everyone
glad most of you are doing ok. i was ok, and was looking forward to getting a job, but im feeling a little tired and depressed because im having such problems with hubby, hes being really horrid. i just hope i can put it behind me before mon because i have an interveiw. were hardly talking and i have tried several times. i know hes going through things as well but hes being so heartless.
i will speak more later when im more positive, sorry to moan.
take care everyone.x
Hi,
having an insatiable appetite and putting on weight despite ignoring it, I will have to scratch your eyes out Nicky!!! I am more jealous than words can say and will be counting myself down to being on an AI. Do they all make your appetite drop or just your one. He said I would be going on femara when a blood test shows me as def post menopausal. Plans for your daughter sound exciting. Does she plan to be a chef. No this must be the ine hoping for an oxbridge place, so lots of brains. Good luck for her with that. My God daughter was turned down last year, despite straight As right through. She is very quiet and I wonder if they want to see passion about your subject?
Lorraine, I want to give you a big hug. I am so sorry that Victor is in a bad mood and hope he gets out of it fast. I think you will have to just try to push that out of your mind for the interview. It might be worth reading up on the latest ideas on childcare on the net beforehand, unless you already are. There is lots of assessing and observing to do these days even in a nursery. If my Grandson wants to go outside to play, apparently they have to let him and ‘naughty’ is a banned word. They have time out until they say sorry, even if they thump another child. Some of the new ideas are good but others are asking for worse behaviour as they get older, in my humble opinion. I know how arrogant some can be at 11 when they are unchecked at 3 or 4 and get too confident.
Hope you all have a good weekend. I am a bit tired, probably the journey rather than the rads I think. My Mum thinks she should go in a nursing home because she forgot her mince pies and they burnt slightly - (seriously!!) I just have not got the patience for stupid things like that. It sounds mean but mince pies don’t really feature in my future plans, especially as I hate them. I will try to be more understanding when we next speak. When I say, compared to having cancer, mince pies are not worth worrying about and she says ‘well I could have cancer too, you don’t know’. End of conversation in case I break our never had a big argument track record. Is anyone else finding that as their treatment ends people are changing around you and expecting you to be the person you were before all this? Maddening.
Take care
Lily x
Lorraine - Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time at home. I don’t really know what to suggest or that I can help that much but just to let you know I hope you both come out the other side in one piece! Maybe try to give OH some space (I’m sure you’re doing that already) and concentrate on your interview. Fingers are crossed for tomorrow and hope the grumps don’t last for too long.
Lily - Yes, certain things do not seem worth the hassle any more and people’s opinions/views can really get to you at times. I think having this horrible disease somewhat focusses the mind on important things don’t you think? Burnt mince pies not being one of them! Rather than cause any conflict in your family I’m sure you’re biting your tongue like mad! At times my Mum says some things that she’s not thought about re BC and that’s even after she’s had it! I’m certainly changing how I feel about certain people and will now only do things that I want or feel comfortable doing, and not give detailed reasons why I can’t attend etc. Let them worry their little brains as to the reasons why! Back to my youngest. She just loves cooking and at some point she may look at it in more detail but for now she needs to earn big bucks to support her extravagant lifestyle! She had her Cambridge interview last week but isn’t sure how it went as it was quite tricky - only to be expected. I know what you mean about having more personality and pushing yourself forwards. Unfortunately she doesn’t big herself up even though her French teacher (a double 1st at Cambridge no less) says she is a more gifted linguist than he is! Oh well, it will be their loss and some other uni will gain! She brought back some lovely decorations from her trip to the German markets, plus a couple of Gluhwein mugs she ‘had to have’! Shame the euro has gone so low otherwise we would have got more our money!
Onto decorating the house today and to convince OH to go and get a nice tree even if we don’t get round to putting that up today. Will do the lights etc and I need to go out and get some sticky plastic hook things to secure them. Not holding my breath as they seem few and far between!
Take care all, hope the weekend is good to you.
Nicky xx
Right then… militant angie is in Town today…
Lorraine. *** him for a few days, you need to think about you, he needs to pull himself together or something like that. I hope you have a brilliant interview and he just shuts up until then.
Lily… Oh Mothers eh… stupid thing to say, sounds like someones vying for a bit of attention to me. Shame those around us don’t realise how much we come to hate it (visit 43 to a hospital on the 22nd for me… gosh I am soooo looking forward to it LOL).
Nicky… There’s a book you should get for your daughter… Pru Leiths Techniques Bible… It’s brilliant, all about knife skills, catering for masses and portioning, how to bone every type of animal going, sauces etc. It’s the book that all of her students use and it’s my fave of all my cookery books because it’s not a recipe book it’s a how to cook like a pro book.
Actually I’m going to PM you with the amazon deal for both the books I use right now as you still just about have time to get them for xmas if you wanted.
Right done
Hope you’re all on the path to recovery. I am but I keep expecting it to be constant steady progress and of course it’s not. My Ribs are now tender from the radio, and I know it’s form that as where I’m tanned it’s tender where I’m not it’s not, and I have that someone punched me in the armpit a month ago feeling too.
We’ll have to start our new life after chemo thread soon to stay in touch. I think I may be spending more time on Facebook in the future as I think it’s more my vibe than this place is sometimes, as I really want to try to live my life with a bit of positivity and hope and somedays just saying that will get you jumped on here 
Anyway hope you’re all moving on and taking your life back into your own hands and enjoying xmas preparations (rather than stressing
Lots of love
Angie
Hi Girls,
Lily I know what you mean about people assuming you should be back to normal I find it infuriating when people moan on about stupid things that really don’t matter I find myself glazing over and feel very irritated. I guess I am not postmenapausal yet as I had my last “p” when in hospital being operated on at the beginning of June. I was not having regular every month but was still in working order which is amazing as I only have one ovary as I had one removed when I was 50 (three years ago) due to having a rather nasty cyst wrapped around it. So I guess that is why I am Tam for now and this will be reviewed in a couple of years to go onto a A.I. as for side effects I am having lots of tropical moments that are most unpleasant with water running around my neck and boobs but I guess not having any hair makes it worse as that may soak some of it up. I am still have the disgusting taste in my mouth too but not sure what it is the problem as I have now had two lots of medication for it without success so not sure if this is to do with the Tam. I am also having pain at the top of my legs and have a real weakness there can’t just get up from a sitting position as I use to be able to very worrying and I hope it goes away but not sure whether it is due to extra weight or due to the muscles in my legs weakening whilst not being so active. Really frustrating though as I use to swim several times a week and do pilates plus gardeing and belonging to a walking group so feel very unhappy being to ridiculously weak and feel a bit worried about returning to work in the new year,
Nicky the Arimidex is what the Onc has suggested I will go onto in a couple of years so most interested to hear how you find it. Hope the Palpitations lesson as that in itself must make you feel so uncomfortable. For your daughter’s 18th next year have you looked at the Pandora bracelets which seem to be all the rage and different charms can be added to them for special ocassions. How wonderful to have a daughter that likes cooking!
Lorraine so sorry to hear you are having a grotty time really not fair after what you have been through and I hope it all resolves itself soon maybe he is just letting the stress out (although inappropriately directed) and wishing you lots of luck with your interview.
Hi to Angela and Julia,
wishing everyone a good week.
love Bev x
Hi,
Nicky, I might just need my tongue sewing back on, I have bitten it so much lately!! I will probably find it in the bottom of my mug of tea one day.LOL. I wish your daughter luck with her Cambridge results and I think you better start saving up now! Hoping there is now a lovely Christmas tree waiting outside your door to acclimatise before coming in the house. Do you have much more, medically wise to do before the new year? Will you see the cardi before then, for results of the 24 hour monitoring? It would be great to sort it out so you can indulge and make the most of the festive season.
Angie, I know what you mean about appointments, I really begrudge having to waste time when they are running late. I do feel a bit anxious though as I have realised my check ups are starting to loom nearer, in January to see the surgeon again. I am going to be paranoid at every one I know. I was warned about sore ribs from rads and that they are often much easier to break after rads, so to be more cautious. So no more playing for the England rugby team for me!!LOL. Do you think arnica cream would help your ribs? Not sure whether it is just for bruising but getting a good blood supply should help to repair it. Keep me posted if you find a good cure in case I need it. I have seen another post like you mentioned, is BC not enough for some people to deal with? You have to be so careful as you just don’t know how near to dispair the person the other end is feeling and could push them over the edge easily. I find that side of the forum very upsetting as it is such a brilliant support when it goes well. We are fortunate to have all met up on this one as we get on so well and have such a range of characters, that make it great reading as well as fab support in the tricky bits.
Bev when did the hot flushes start? I have none so far!! Fingers crossed. Check the manufacturers of your tablets as many people are complaining about some made by CP as being far worse than those made by At. Hope I got that right but you can check on the hormones section. MY BCN said people tell her Boots are much better as have their own brand they dispense. I read that novaldex-d have far fewer flushes and no joint pain so asked for those. They are more expensive so some are not keen to give them. Have you thought, it might be the tamoxifen causing some of your other pains? Read the thread, it is very interesting how different people are reacting to each brand of tamoxifen. It is just a difference in the coating and bulking, the dose of tam citrate is exactly the same in each brand. Crazy!
I had a fascinating visit to rads on Friday!!! My daughter was chuckling away and said look at that. There was some poor man, naked, having a shower in the hospital on the first floor, totally unaware that the glass was obviously in the wrong way. He was on full view to everyone in the car park and walking up the street, poor man!! Will be informing them tomorrow as if the chemo ward, could be some poor lady. I don’t mind laughing at gents getting oggled!! So free flashing with rads, not nearly so relaxing as the reflexology in the chemo ward!!!LOL. Hmmmm shall I tell them straight away or a bit later.LOL. Lorraine big hugs for the interview. My daughter has one for a primary school tomorrow too, in the afternoon. Lisa - are you ok? Have you got that new chair in your office yet? Have the genetic results come back yet? I hope it has not been too upsetting if they are, but guess someone is going to feel really bad, whichever way it goes. Thinking of you.
Julia you really ought to get off to rads, did you realise you get flashers !!! Hope you are getting about a bit easier. If not, time to check it out! I bought my turkey yesterday, just a big crown so all white meat. I hope I remember to thaw it, might have to start writing myself notes. Is your memory back yet?
Take care everyone
Lily x
hiya all, sorry havent been around, had a hectic boozy weekend but after a night on booze feel really down, i dont want to talk about cancer anymore but still dominatesmy life and I want some normality back, i want to be Lisa, not her that has cancer. Had a bit of a weep today just over a xmas card with something nice written in about hope 2009 better for me, got really freaked out afterall have my bone scan tomorrow, part of me doesnt want it and nearly backed out today as know my world could totally change tomorrow and terrifies me as just wont handle it. anyhow the year mark is looming, i found it on my 35th birthday on 30th january and have to star thinking about other masectomy and more surgery - just want a break! Family get their results on wednesday too.
But, shopping nearly donem for xmas but lots of wrapping still to do - boy, I think (or hope) that this N Y E will be the one I will really celebrate the end of 2008 and hopefully look forward to a better 2009.
Im on facebook too and have a lot of catching up to do and think I might do more on there too - this site has been fab and still is a godsend but I do tend to read things I shouldnt
Love to all
xxx
Hey Lisa, let us know how you got on, did you get the results of the scan today or do you have more of that joyous waiting to do.
It’s my Birthday tomorrow and there’s going to be a power cut in the village so we’re off out for a nice walk then see The day the earth stood still as the movies and then grab an indian and bring it back home. Just bought a couple of fleeces and Tommy’s got me the brightest torch we could find that’s still teeny and he got it engraved with “for the light of my life”… awww. He says
I’m not worried about the rib pain as I know it’s from the rads and it’s only sensitive when I lay on my front or prod my ribs so I’m just not doing that
Hope you all have a lovely tuesday. It’s also 3 months to the day since I finished chemo and my hair isn’t really growing in length very fast but it is getting thicker. Oh and it’s 11 months since my diagnosis, think I’ll just celebrate the birthday actually
Lots of love to you all. I’m starting to see you all as charlies angels or something like that.
Angie