Rachel; glad you posted that question- yes me too! One day doing well. Next as you say wont get out of bed unless i have too. The worst thing is, there is no clear pattern as to why, so i dont know when to expect it and to prepare. The holiday was a sort of unreal existence which sheltered me from how i am really feeling in normal life. Now it is hitting with a vengeance.
My friend who went through this all 7 years ago immediately understood. Her comment " you feel like when you get up you are already running on an empty tank" mirrored how i felt. Of course this depresses, angers etc.and i feel i am not making the progress i hoped for and have tried so hard to achieve,so i feel very very despondent and down. She told me to expect it to randomly strike and on those days to be kind to myself; warn OH how it feels, and try and roll with it. So will be trying to do that…
I truly think the answer is in our minds. If we can know what is normal, and so adjust to that i think we will cope better. Tablets? oh i hope not. If i get to that stage would prefer counselling, as i do believe the strength of our minds is the key and dulling down things wont help in the long term. But hey thats probably just my cranky view! Dont argue!! If you do duck… flying Denby coming your way.
I think all you girls who are coping with all this AND work AND young children are phenomenal… but i imagine it is not at all easy.
Sray strong girls, look back on how far we have come and hope for similar forward progress in next year. Love C
Hi girls, sorry not been on for a while…no excuse, but maybe i’m trying to avoid straying on to threads i shouldn’t.
Rachel, i have done nothing but cry today…just caus i have been for mammo, no one offered to go with me and …got me thinking …what if !!!
yesterday i was as happy as anything so in answer to your question, yes i am an emotional wreck and im on tamox too…
I was happy yesterday…when i met up with our Ali, was great to see her in Notts, she is in CP with her lovely family.
Had a wonderful weekend with our Debbie for her 50th, picked our julie up on the way!!! if you havn’t heard that story ask julie what happened or check out my profile page its on there somewhere, will make you laugh…OMG how embarrasing!!!At least my guardian angel was watching over me…
So glad to see all of you back on here, would hate for our thead to go cold…we all still need each other from time to time and its nice to know your all there.
I go back to work in 3 weeks after a year and a week off, i’m ready now but just waiting to go on holiday first…scary!!!
Take care all of you, june will soon be here girls then…bring on the PARTIES…
Luv u all, Nutty Notts Lass xxx
OH when i get post off certain gerties with NNL after my name, i bet my posty thinks i am clever with letters after my name…little does he know lol cheers rach, made me smile xxx
well back to my normal hours and i am bushed, sleeping much better this week my head touches the pillow and im gone, also went back colledge last night to talk over my portfolio and she has given me heaps of home work, so sorry won`t be on fb much this week mrs p and debs, ive got 4 weeks to get it done HELP!!!.
we are all bound to get down days its all still very raw, remember the fence is just in front of use, but will get abit further away each year.
took my 10 year old for a assesment today, and i had to fill the guy in about michael over the last year, i told the guy that we had had a tough year what with me and the bc and losing my dad, at which point michael started to cry and so did i , it was awful to see michael like that, but maybe he needed to get it out, he has to now go on day release their for 3 days in june so that they can get a better picture of him, so hopefully we will get some answers
rach come and have a bounce on my trampoline that will release the tension, when mrs p picked me up she declined, think she was still in shock from handbrake episode, don`t worry pauline neil has told all the neighbours, they keep coming up and asking me lol
(((((((((((((((((hugs )))))))))))))) to everyone who is feeling down, and heres to brighter days
luv you all julie xxx
erm if any has the baroque design which was discontinued in 1995 and they have any side plates i may be able to strike a deal. LOL
Pauline - hand break NOW! pmsl
Chris thank you you made total sense of how I am - its so blo*dy odd and you hit the nail on the head - I just need my poor fan man to have some time out.
Off to see my out laws in S of F this weekend - god I wish I wasnt - I am in no mood for FIL giving me grief - tried to explain that I am psycho at present and fab man said it wouldnt wash with the scaries ( our nick name for his M & d as they scare us regularly lol )So wish me luck - my wonderful GP friend has suggested regular sips of gin and valium lol
love my gerties and yes the october meeting is stil in planning
btw where is our pixie???
Rach - can’t help with the Denby lovely - we’re an imperial blue household. May I suggest that you throw something slightly cheaper??? Xx Seriously though, I hope things calm down for you and that you have a nice time with the outlaws!!
Great to hear about returnees to work - good for you ladies, but take it easy now.
Well, I met up with the nnl on Tuesday which was lovely. Very excited about the tamworth meet - be great for us all to get together again.
Well - am off to bed, those rapids have tired me out!!
Its all my fault gerties - the volcanic eruption that is!
I said I didnt want to go to S of F and guess what; all flights cancelled until further notice - Mea Culpa lol x
Ah rach bet your gutted you can’t go and spend the weekend with your FIL …not. I think pixie has lap top issues mate, i have contacted her about tamworth and she is joining us for both nights so dont worry she will be there mate.
Julie, glad michael is been seen and hopefully will get the support he needs. Glad collage is ok, you get stuck into that homework mate.
I am being haunted by bloody handbreaks girls, forgot to put mine on on sat but was lucky no damage done and then yesterday my neighbours handbreak failed on his slopeing drive and his car smashed into our newley built wall!!! not worried about the wall but the poor bloke has only just had the car and its a mess, bless him.
Just a quicky to let you know that my darling little boy has a broken leg : (
My sister in law had him yesterday afternoon and took him to the park. Her 12 year old daughter took him down the slide and somehow managed to break his leg in the process.
He now has a full leg bright red stookie (Scottish word for plaster cast) on. Bless the wee soul, he is still smiling though.
Love and hugs to all of you - you really are my rocks xxxx
Oh she I bet your sis is absolutely gutted for you and jai. I can remember doing a leg and a wing with gabby and dislocating her arm at least three times (which I was able to pop back). then friends girls took her out and did it and it actually green sticked the olecranon prominence (elbow to thee and me) but they didn’t plaster cast it - had they, I am sure she would have had pink.
So far today my pottery has stayed intact and I have been smiling a bit lol.
Did I tell you that I saw the lymphoedema nurse on wed? She was so lovely, did some fabulous massage, and gave me such a sexy compression bra and under arm belt and sleeve that the fab man will not be able to resist me - my arm does feel better and less achy now but the bra??? ‘oh lordy’ as Rhian would say. Still if it makes me better.
So far my flight to Nice isnt cancelled - better get packing huh? damn that volcano
love to all xxxxx
Al sounds like you are having fun, good weather too!
Rach, is it a wish for flight or not!! not a bad excuse for not going though! may be you should do a trip to a denby outlet shop instead!
She, poor Jai, bet your sister-in-law feels awful!I’m sure he will bounce back!
Julie, you get stuck into your homework!
All I can say is handbrakes Pauline!!
LOL Debs - yep the out let shop would be good but my denby was discontinued only 15 yrs ago!
We have spent the day at Rhossili beach with the dogs - it was gorgeous. Took the kites but not enough wind to get them up on the beach and I was worried about the kite taking the girls off the cliff edge up top! Dogs loved it - they are exhausted now bless 'em. I am going to use my annual leave putting in an application to my old job at UWE for a post teaching again. I’m not guarantee the job of course but I hope to stand a good chance - i wonder if my Bc will will have any impact on the decision making. Its a 0.4 post which would suite me fine as I can carry on with my practice work as well.
I am still a bit wired at the mo - not depressed if you know what I mean but really edgy - I am ready for our meet up in June girls I can tell you. My eldest is picking up on my mood and is also feeling a bit stressed - but as I am not in the S of F at the mo I am much relaxed than I have been all week - god the out laws stress me out. If it wasnt so serious I would laff.
my dearest gerties love to you all xxxxx
Gerties - it was this time 365 days ago that i found that little lump that went on to be a couple of 2.5cm tumours. Got to laff I have the day off work and what did I do as I got ready this morning - I thought oh sun is shining I’ll slap on some st tropez self tan leave it while as i sit and revise before i shower - OMG that is exactly what I did last yr. So I’m revising (and marking some essays), I have st tropez everywhere and I havent found another lump - thank you all for the support over the past 365 days. thank you BCC for being there, thank gerties I cant begin to tell you how much I love you all xxxxxx
Well done for getting through your first year Rachel, it gets easier from here, honest lol…
Can I ask, did you have a mastectomy with reconstruction, I didnt bother with the reconstruction but often wish I did cause I cant wear strappy tops and things now. Was offered it again later on and I didnt and now its probably too late I just dont think it would be a good idea to open me up again what with the seconaries and stuff.
Booked up for Africa and now Im wondering what the heck Im going to wear at the pool lol…
was my 4 year anniversary of being diagnosed with No1 on the 17th… forgot about it on the day… it does get easier.
good luck with your application rach, would love a teaching post too at some point… will need to get on with that masters im always promising myself im gonna do.
jackie, i think you would need to speak to your surgeon… depending on where the secondaries are and how under control they are they may still consider you for a reconstruction… its worthwhile asking after all the worst they could say is no.
well my fasting cholesterol was even higher than my non-fasting one LOL, but now been recalled for another blood test as my thyroid function is bordeline for hypothyroidism! what next? LOL!
my appt for the lipid clinic at cardiology has come through for the 26th may, same day as im having my annual review at the breast clinic.
oh and i have a start date so will be starting my new job on may 10th… woohoo!