Darling buddies from May - moving on

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Recovering from treatment
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Bevy you should get it looked at, hopefully its just dry stuff from rads, dot know as I didnt have nibble to blast.

Nicky and Lorraine , you are an inspiration in how you deal with things, I tend to get in a downer and worry about the slightest thing and then that in itself builds which gives me more symptons so I am sooo proud of you all. YOu are inspiring me to just try and monitor side effects and not dwell and try and life my life for today, I cant change what is going to happen and I shouldnt waste my time wallowing so Im having a wine and going to have an early night as my day off today consisted of picking my niece up, taking her to hospital for lunch with my dad on his break (yes, believe it or not, I visit of own free will, every1 knows me though think my dad must be boring them!!!) then played games and baked cakes!!

Bevy, the weight thing is hard, piled 2.5 stone on and if didnt have a hangover for most of this week I wouldnt have lost sooo much!! Well, also inmy drunken haze I banged my bad arm, its bruised and swelled more so think a sleeve is approaching.

Lily, sorry about your BiL sounds painful - hope work is going okay too but take it easy to.

Well, I have mamogram on Monday, lymphodema clinic week after, surgeon week after and then breast mri at 9am 3hrs away from where I live - good thing is might brave a holiday, chance to have a break with a friend and her hubby and another couple, might feel like a wally on tod but I can chill so will see

Angie, hope today wet okay and its not to hard, hope you still fighting and the plan to wed would be sooo nice for you - hope there’s a glimmer and Im sure you will research it and hopefully you will defy their stats. Take care you and Tommy and speak soon. xxx

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p.s. bloody hell, ignore my spelling - only had one glass of wine too!!

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Hi Everyone

Angie - Thank you for letting us know how you got on.It is a brave and wonderful thing for you to do at this moment in time. My thoughts and preys will be with you and also your family, all the time. We will all be keeping are fingers and toes crossed for you and sending you lots of hugs. xxxxxxxxx

Lisa - well done on the weight loss. Do you have any good tips? I have put on two stone from being on treatment. Now i am back at work i need to start getting fit and losing the weight.

Bevy - My nipple also went crusty when i had radiotherapy. It wasn’t sore, but i did get the nurse to have a look. More peace of mind than anything.

I have now managed to get through my second week back at work. Im not sure about anyone else who has been off work a long time and just getting back. It feels a little wierd, but good to be back to normality!!!

Best wishes to everyone else and ((((BIG HUGS))))

Kirsty xxx

184

Hi,
Bev yes I have had something that sounds like that, similar to when I went topless for too long on holiday once!Mine was stuck on one side completely for a few weeks and is still tender. I guess the burn takes a while to go completely. Mine was green for a while!! I wouldn’t worry, but obviously cannot see it. Lisa hope you can hang on to that positive mood to give your jangled nerves a little rest from all your worries. I bet it is cold up your way too. Gosh you have a lot of appointments to get through. Kirsty well done for getting through another week. I just finished my first full week but went in late as could not keep my eyes open when the alarm went off. I need to move my body clock round a bit as I have insomnia at night. Nicky it was sad to read through your secondary dx, which was before we all met up on here so we have not really appreciated what you have already gone through. What you wrote for Angie was very positive and I hope it makes you (Angie) feel as encouraged as I was by that. When is YD’s birthday and also yours? Can’t be long now. I still haven’t got a picture either, need help I think!Did you get hit by the heavy snow this week? Will slow up your walking.
By the way BIl has had his op after being left for 36 hours waiting for a slot in theatre. It is looking good and he can move it again and feel touch. We have asked him to move in for a few days. Still waiting to hear what they did but he thinks they have put wires in rather than a plate. Trouble is wires have to come out! Lorraine you have everyone chatting about outfits now, will try to get on to some sites this weekend. Trouble is I will probably see something outrageously expensive and then want it for my daughter’s wedding and actually have to buy it! Just did a full week at work but not a single lesson to teach. Mostly I was eating up the huge pink cake they bought for my birthday, no diet for me till all the chocs are gone from temptation.
Angie, hoping today went ok at rads and skin holding up. We are all thinking of you so much and sending messages of support. But you are such an upbeat person, I just wondered whether you would prefer us to lift our mood too. I sometimes find messages of sympathy make me more upset. So just let us know if you would prefer a different mood or if it would help you more, by us being more in tune with your battling the bu…r way of thinking. Don’t forget to drink more on rads, as I got my sore, dry mouth back with it. I think they make you quite tired too so thinking of you snuggled up in the duvet letting the rays do what they are best at.
Hugs
Lily x

185

Hi
Lovely description Lily! Surprised you didn’t wander around topless for all to see LOL Glad you’ve survived a full week at work. It’s quite a shock getting back into the old routine so it’s not surprising you’re starting a bit later. Hope you can enjoy the weekend and not be dashing around too much catching up with everything.
We’ve had loads of snow here all week. YD went to college once, Friday, and ED didn’t go at all. Our lane is just covered and has not been cleared or gritted so driving out onto it has been fun. It took me about 20 times to get onto the road yesterday when I went to work - not a very suitable car for these conditions! I decided to only work the morning and I’m glad I did as we had about 2 hours of heavy snow again in the afternoon. I went up to Tesco to get my weekend supplies in and nearly couldn’t get out of the car park even though I’d driven YD’s car which is as low powered as you can get. OH came home early and wanted to go for a walk in the snow as he’s been at work all week so we all went over the fields outside our house and had a snowball fight! It was really deep - about 6-8 inches and mainly undisturbed so looked very pretty. It’s sunny here right now so another walk beckons and then some snow clearing so we can get the cars out if we need to. All this has interrupted my shopping/inspiration for YD’s b’day so I will need to crack on next week. She has about 4 weeks to go so I should be OK - I hope. Glad BIL has got his arm/hand sorted (sorry can’t remember which and daren’t go back a page!). Hope you don’t have to be nursemaid and he’s on the mend soon.
As I can’t remember what has been written by everyone on the previous page I’ll just say hi and hope you all have a good weekend and rest when you need to and all look after yourselves.
Nicky xx

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A quick p.s.
It’s annoying that you only see the last comment when you reply which is why I thought it was a new page - realised it wasn’t when my other posting appeared at the bottom rather than the top of a page.

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hi everyone

angie, hope your sleeping hasnt been affected too much, and you at least get some peace from your worries then, be good to yourself, were all thinking of you.

hope the snow as not stopped you in your tracks. nicky i wish i could share some laughter with my hubby(re-snow fights) sometimes hes so serious at present, just how things are affecting him i suppose. mind you im not as keen on the snow at present, too cold for me. but keep sharing those precious moments, hubby and i will be back to walking when the weather improves. where is your moggy im dying to see him, is it a little thing with ribbons in her hair, like paris hilton would own? or a big one to keep you warm on cold nights. i used to have a cavalier king charles, i miss her all the time but hubby says were not having another.

lily 2000

hope you had a lie in, i know what you mean about not being able to open your eyes in the morning, i felt like that when i was at work, im appreciating being able to decide when to get up without rushing.(not rubbing it in!) next week i will probably put pic on of my dress, if nobody wants to party i will have one anyway.

everyone else have a good weekend.x

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Hi,
sorry been a bit hectic trying to sort my BIL out. They can’t get a doc to discharge him, so he is sitting there and we are sitting here waiting. They say they will still let him out even if after visiting hours. The doc has been in A & E all day and not made it to the ward. Why there is only one doc who can do this, remains a mystery as it is an enormous hospital. I have filled his fridge and freezer up today for when he goes back home with suitable one armed dinners - not easy! Next I have to sort his washing - not so keen on that bit !! Yikes hope there are no shocks! You all know what I mean.
Nicky has the snow started to clear? Ours took ages to go although being on the sunny side of the street ours cleared days before TTT, who is on the dark side. This is the first car I have had with traction, so I felt a bit safer on the ice this year. A tank would have been better still. I have a much busier week coming up at school, so must try to get enough sleep this weekend. It is still a hang over from the chemo that if I feel well I don’t want to waste it sleeping.My tummy is slowly starting to accept small amounts of salad and fruit as long as I don’t try both in the same day. This is the first week I haven’t had to drink a glass of water during the night, so maybe my salivary glands are recovering too. Bev I was wondering if your arm is getting any better? Also Nicky, your hand and palpatations. Julia how is the burn now, hopefully ok.
Angie, how are you going on the rads? How many do you have? I have read some of the answers to both your threads and hope you have been heartened by their comments and stories of people who have made significant progress on WBR. They just don’t know, they just work on averages for patients from historic data. One thing we know about you Angie, is that you are definitely not average.
Hugs
Lily x

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Hi all, cant believe you all still have snow - we havent had any since last sunday night and believe you me we usually get it bad up here - it is cold mind!

Hope everyone having a okay diet - crap tv so eating far tooo much, was trying weight watchers points and doing okay, but loose it at weekend or when I feel down just much!! Dunno bowt everyone else but Ive worked a lot through it and been back full time since just before xmas but im suddenly sooo tired all the time, dont sleep too well and hit a tired period then wide awake at obsene hours.

Well off to flatten my hair in wooly hat and walk the dog - its freezing but no snow.

Hope everyone okay and Angie hope the rads went okay, think you have to wear a mask etc - hope it goes okay
xxx

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Hi Again

I am sooooooo jealous, we have not had any snow and really want to build a snowman or have a snowball fight… just to be a kid again for the day!!! :wink:

A few of you have mentioned my photo. That was me on my wedding day in July 2007, just before going into church to say my vows. It was before i was diagnosed with BC. It reminds me of who i really am, someone who be can be a positive thinker, (if that makes sense!!!).

Hope you all have had a good weekend. ((((BIG HUGS)))) to those who need them.

Kirsty xxx

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Oh yes, loads of snow plus the joy of freezing overnight temperatures and no gritting outside our house! OH and I were at some friends last night with a group of us for dinner (which was absolutely fab by the way) and we walked home. Quite a challenge I can tell you and that’s even with walking boots on! The roads where we had to cross were like an ice rink. Our garden is still covered by about 4 inches of snow and the possibility of more today or tomorrow! It’s great if you don’t have anything you need to do but a bit of a nightmare otherwise. However it is really pretty still and with the sun shining it really picks you up. In fact OH, YD and I went for a walk yesterday morning, got the papers and went into the local bakery for hot drinks and a cake - we sat outside in the sun and pretended we were on a ski-ing holiday! It certainly felt like it.
My hand is OK, not getting any worse but still the attractive reddish colour that I showed you when we met up Lily. It comes and goes in how puffy it is but it’s pretty stable now so I will get my wedding ring re-sized soon so I can be married again! The palpitations have just about stopped except where I’ve had too many vino’s, like last night, but I know that’s my own fault so I put up with them. This is the one thing that has improved so much because almost straight after finishing chemo I went into them and it/they are so debilitating. Just keep popping those pills!
Hope everyone is having a good weekend and enjoying the cold snap even if it’s not snowed. Back to reality tomorrow though! Take care all and hugs all round.
Nicky xx
Another ps - I’ve realised what a dumbass I was with seeing the previous comments - you can scroll through them, duh! I did know this but somehow had forgotten, why on earth would that happen? Surely nothing to do with chemobrain?

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hi girls,

thanks for the advice re the weird crusting nipple. I will get it checked out for peace of mind.

My arm is much better than it was but I still have a swollen finger and thumb. The arm becomes uncomfortable if I have been using it too much as does the area around my back but not as bad as it was so time will tell.

Well I went back to a pilates class yesterday and was absolutely useless I was surprised how weak I was and how the exercises felt so weird now I am a bigger version of myself just feel bulky and uncomfortable. Still have to start somewhere and must learn patience.

I eventually managed to work out how to get a photo on only to discover it is too small I will try to put another one on a some stage. Although it is probably preferable that it is a postage stamp shot!

Love to you all but especially Angie and hoping you are feeling o.k.

God bless

Bev x

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Snow at last, been out with dog and think it does me good, think it would be a lot of thinking time but it keeps me occupied, albeit think I have snowburn on cheeks!!! Hope it lays!!!

Not enough to build a snowman!!!

Angie - sure you are having a well earned rest today x

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Hi,
well I tried to find a snap of the dog to put on here but failed miserably. Found some of me but either they were a while ago and made me feel like a fraud (ie thinner and with lots of hair) or recent and I couldn’t find one I would broadcast in public. I am hoping this annoyance about how I look will help me to do something about it. If you here of a whale spotted in the mediterranean this summer, it just might be me!!LOL. The tummy is just so bad, even though the extra weight has done wonders for balancing my chest back to normal. Trouble is some days I just think so what if I weigh more, just can’t stick to it. Like you said Lisa its the weekends. i was very tired this weekend too and got up really late, which is unlike me. It is quite a bit more work having a lodger (my BIL) but he is very easy to have around. The hospital eventually discharged him at 10.35 pm with no painkillers or anything. Just said if you need a prescription you’ll have to come back on MOnday and ask for one!! The ward are going to complain internally about the doc refusing to come to the ward to see him, as he had been put on a satellite ward. Still the surgery went well although he still has no idea what they did or had any advice. No appointment for the fracture clinic either! Just totally over-run by the extra injuries from the snow. He was told they had had 50 broken wrists instead of the usual 3 they see. Maybe lucky you haven’t got more snow Lisa. I bet the dog loves all these walks. By the way good luck with the mammo on Monday. Mine is in April on the anniversary week of my surgery. Anyone else got appointments this week? Angie how many more rads do you have? Are you feeling any benefit from them yet? I hope they are kicking a…e for you.
Bev
good for you for even going to the class I say. Well done and each tiem will get easier. I laughed at what you said about your photo, I am having the same trouble.I have asked my onc to arrange keep fit classes locally for BC ladies whio don’t feel up to going in to a regular gym and he has said he will. Guess I will have no excuse not to go to that if it goes ahead. Anyone know if I can start swimming yet? Nicky glad you had a nice meal out, even if you skated home. Will we see you making another tv appearance on the show??LOL. I have a lovely picture of the 'ski-ing holiday’trouble is I am focusing on the cakes as usual!Glad to hear you can get your ring back soon, mine is still tighter than it was but not strangling my finger any more.Are you managing to get to work with so much snow? My road was a nightmare, but ok if you could limp up to where the buses go through.Coming back down the slopes was worse though with all the parked cars to weave round. Kirsty you can have all my future snow, once was enough. Whereabouts do you live, I thought everyone got a bit of snow? Lorraine, this is good cake eating weather isn’t it? Caramel shortcakes are my downfall, what is yours? Sorry did not get round to dresses as went to a weding fayre with my daughter. Guess what I was doing? Trying the cake samples!! Soooooo bad when I see cakes. Any ideas on a job yet? I am envious of the lie ins though, I never really appreciated them enough.
Angie hope this week goes well for you and that the rads are not too bad to endure.
Love
Lily x

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Morning Ladies.

Still on part time broadband here and on a heavy dose of steroids which they’ve given me to counter the swelling in the brain, it’s working but it makes your arms so heavy it’s hard to type and not having broadband properly really doesn’t help I have to say but when you’re a web developer like me.

I’ve got an emergency appt at the docs in an hour to get more steroids and the dose is being reduced by one a day so I’ll be off them after friday which is great as I can hardly move but am so restless too. God I hate dexamethasone. They cause muscle wastage too which really doesn’t help.

It’s a 15 min drive to the docs too and it’s all snowy out there, very pretty though but wish I had the energy to do things. Tommy’s being so sweet and just encouraging me to rest which is all I can do with no energy or broadband, still haven’t finished unpacking from the house move, can’t believe I collapsed the day after moving.

Still alternating between hope and fear that I won’t even make it to the end of the day. Going to ask questions about DLA and things like that now too basically get every bit of help that we can. In all honesty I’m reaching the stage of thinking that I just want to have as good a time for as long as possible and then go quickly and without too much pain for myself or the family, especially Tommy. Sorry if that sounds morbid.

The brain rads have wiped me out so much that I’m just staring into the distance a lot, but my focus is dodgy so that’s only part time too. I’m also not sleeping too great. Steroids again I reckon.

Just really really hoping that the week gets easier but it feels like its’ probably going to get harder actually :frowning:

Sorry to be so whingy. I’m trying to pick up the pieces, honest.

There was actually only 2 doses of rads to the head and there was no mask, just a little bit of biro and sellotape, it was really efficient actually.

Lots of love to you all.

Angie

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Good morning all: As my job share partner is away, I am working today and Tues, she is back Wed so I can do a catch up today. We had about 1ft of snow in the lane leading to the A45 on Thursday so didn’t even try to escape, Friday was compacted snow and ice with another 3ins of fresh snow on top. Nice! Went to bit of a do in the village on Fri night and crunched around in the car so we didn’t get soaking wet feet and trousers. When we left at about midnight is was -10C. Bit chilly, what?

Started the Arimidex on 26 Jan and so far no SE’s – I take mine at night. I think it is a bit soon for any effects, but will just keep going. Have had no problem with the rads effects now I have this wonderful cream from Neals Yard. My battered boob and chest wall is discoloured but my skin does that when I get cut or badly bruised. Still waiting for appointments for ECG (pre Herceptin) and bone density scan, but am not rushing them – a few weeks away the hospital is good news to me!

Lisa: What is the secret of your weight loss? Just lack of appetite or do you have a magic formula. Every time I think “right today we start the diet and exercise” something happens. But I will get there! Good luck with the mammogram today, don’t think I could face that with my poor battered bit.

Lorraine: What a great idea – the dress party. It was my DX anniversary on Friday and I can remember in detail what I wore for the appointment and how I felt all the day. The only good thing about that time was that the stress over the next five weeks before my op made me lose 10lbs! Unfortunately it came back with another 14 of its friends!!

Nicky: Good of you to retrace your history, I lose track of who did what and when. I remember you giving me a lot of info shortly after my DX and as always on here, everyone is so good.

Lily: Your BIL must have been in agony and being treated in the Blue Peter way must have made it worse. And the way he was treated after the op was a disgrace. Are we really a Third World Country? With all the money (according to the Blessed Gordon) being poured into the NHS it is appalling.

Bevy: Know what you mean about being c**p at exercise. I was working in kitchen last week with good loud music on and thought “I know, will do an aerobic routine” - did that for so long can make up my own. Only did basic stuff and was exhausted – some hope of getting back to fitness!

And Angie: You are never far from my thoughts and just hope that the treatment is going OK and will do the trick. No sure you will get the burn soreness we all got on our boobs, but the Neals Yard stuff worked for me.

Better do some work before the next load of snow hits us – due later today and overnight. Rain first on frozen slush, then freezing temperatures and more snow. Looks like tomorrow may be a duvet day again!!!

Lover and hugs all round.

Julia
XX

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Hi All

Angie, hope docs goes okay, and never ever complain about twining on here - I do lots and dont have your problems to deal with. Really hope the reduced steriods help witht he woozyness and vision problems, do you have headaches too - Yu are dealing with it amazingly, even just posting on here, must of been a total shock as I cant remember you compalining of having any side effects beforehand, just the lack of appetite! Take care and get as much help as you can xxx

Mamo went okay today, boy, cant remember the squashing being that much last year!!! Headaches still here so monitoring for anotehr week then going to docs. Weight loos nothing this week but have stuffed them at the weekend.

Love to all, will catch up later, just got into work
xxx

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Dear Angie I hope you start to feel better once the steroids are reduced. and you whinge, scream, shout whenever you want to! Glad teh rads weren’t too horrible and that you are coping so well with that part of it. Thinking of you.

Lily you are so cruel to yourself. We just have to try to be patient and not except to be as we were. You ask about swimming well I went back to that today and it felt great although again I was extremely slow and I don’t like catching sight of myself in the mirror with the fat body and pinhead with the cropped hair but still once in the water it was o.k. and it certainly made my arm feel better.

I had a scare yesterday with my arm as I took a glass out of the dishwasher it broke in my hand and I cut my finger I went into a state of panic saying "but I’ve been told I must never cut this hand " my son looked at me and calmly said “so you think you are going to get through life without ever cutting or marking that hand? get real it is going to happen now what should you do about it?” what a sensible chap now I know why he went to go to uni. I wiped it with an antiseptic tissue, elevated, applied pressure and then a plaster panic over. So far so good.

I have contacted the hospital re the dodgy nipple and they were not overly concerned which put my mind at rest. I have been advised just to monitor it and if it doesn’t clearn up they will take a look at it for me.

Nicky sounds as if you have had a lot of the white stuff! and as you say really pretty.

Kirsty what a lovely photo and you carry on being a positive thinker!

Love to all.

Bev x

199

hi everyone

angie, you are doing so well , even if it doesnt feel like it. its so good that you managed to let us know how you are. and dont bother about winging, i think if i have to go through more treatment, i would be just the same,especially when you presumed youd done it all. we all breathed a huge sigh when we finished. and its hard to stay positive all the time. but the good thing is they havnt give up on you, and are trying everything they can.

keep on trying to enjoy your days, (i can imagine its very difficult, but you wont regret it in the future, hope you feel more calmer after the steriods, like you said they do get you hyped up.
god bless. x

lily 2000

my favourite cake is something tarty, maybe lemon meringue, hope you find some restful moments as well as working this week, dont worry too much about the diet, youll be so busy at times youll forget to eat.

nicky 08

hope you doing ok.

i will look this week for my dress, off out tonight so better get ready. speak soon take care everyone.x

200

Just thought I’d give you all an update. It’s been an amazing roaller coaster of a day. I saw the GP this morning and sorted out Tamoxifen, antidepressants, steroids and something else, sleepers I think. He reckoned that half a bottle of wine is just as good for the old seratonin and I’ve got nada to lose right. In all honesty he said I need to be prepared for the fact that my own prognosis was always appauling and I may not see the end of the year but that’s no reason why the time I have shouldn’t be pain free, fun and enjoyable. So Tommy and I are telling the banks what they can do with this creditcard debts etc and the GP has given me that special fast track form so we can maybe get a little DLA or something. The Guys at MySociety are going to support me for as long as they can too so Tommy and I may yet have some real fun together.

We had the really difficult discussion about what it’s actually like to die and it’s really helped. You hear a lot of things in the news about people like dignitas etc and I don’t really know much about MacMillian and MarieCurie but they’re apparently really good at helping you manage the pain so that you do not suffer and there’s a great hospice here for retreats etc. None of this take away the emotional pain (that’s what the antidepressents are for as I am clinically depressed now it seems and don’t have to be, sleep is good, sleep is needed) but it really is good to know how much love and support is actually out there and it’s heaps.

You’ve all really helped me through the last week you know girls and I love you all with all my heart for it. I’m still praying for a cure but at least I hope my further treatment can be of some benefit… Who knows… VertAngie… Dead unlucky but not dead yet :slight_smile:

God I miss my Broadband, maybe that’s life after death… floating in the ether(net) LOL.

Lots of love

Angie