Hi everyone,
fab to come on here and read so many posts and what everyone is up to. Angie your last post just popped up. Although I am so saddened by your prognosis and it stays with me wherever I go, I really appreciate that you feel able to be so upfront with us. I think we probably all feel very frustrated that we cannot actually sit by your side or be more help in the physical sense. So if we can do anything on here in terms of cyber support, you are helping us too. I think the tablets will help you a lot. I donāt talk about it much but my eldest brother has lost 2 partners within 2 years of cancer, one breast, one ovarian. Both went on to antidepressants and he described it as āstill knowing the situation and what was going to happen but that it did not overwhelm them all the time, so they could laugh and enjoy things.ā
I hope they do pull all the stops out to get you as much help and cash as is available so you can do more things you want. Donāt forget those holidays for cancer sufferers, in Ireland I believe, if that is somewhere you would like to visit. Macmillan will give grants for holidays too. If you wanted to meet any of us we could try to plan that too - oh hell I would never diet in time.LOL. The doctors statement is bitter sweet but he can only guess and plenty of people on here have defied the odds, so why not you too? I know you can cash pensions in if you have any.You may remember that my lovely Mother in law was desperate to pass on at the end and if you want, at any time I will share how that came to happen, as gently as snoozing on a summer day, time just slowing to a gentle stop.I would not do this without you wanting to know.
Tell someone broadband is top of your wish list. You know if you want to help your Mum a little, think of something she can do for you, I know it will help her. Glad not too many rads. Bā¦y dex and the focus problems, you will feel much better as they ease up. Your sense of humour is still shining through mate, setting an example to us all X X
Lorraine, your choice of cakes!Chuckle, chuckle. Hope you went somewhere nice tonight. Bev I am planning a swim, how long were you after rads though?Hope your hand is not sore or worse infected!!Lisa sorry the big squeeze was yoweee, I hate them. Did they tell you it was ok or do you have to wait? Mine are in April.Hope those horrible headaches go but it is a known side effect of arimidex so try to stay calm. Julia sounds like you had tons of snow, bet the dog went potty in it. Mine always tries to eat it, all of it! Nicky what are you up to? Hope having a good time keeping busy buying pressies for the big birthday.
Love
Lily x
Hi everyone
Angie - it is lovely to hear from you but I can tell how you are still reeling with the speed of things. I do know where you are coming from regarding facing your own immortality. Iāve done a lot of thinking over the past 10 months but donāt tend to put it on here as I donāt want to scare anyone off! If you want to PM me and we can talk then please do - I donāt think anything you think or say will shock me or be much more different to what I think. You are right to go out and enjoy every moment - sod the credit crunch. Have some āexperiencesā that make you feel good - even if they are really simple ones or, better still, really expensive ones! There are some brilliant threads on here, in the secondaries forum, about hospices, pain relief things like that. In fact I was at my local one yesterday for a back massage - what bliss! She said it was like popping bubblewrap all up my spine as Iām so tense. The aromatherapy oils she used were lovely as well. Dippykateās blog and her brilliant telling of what sheās been through may help. There are some very āgoodā threads about the final moments and what to do about wills etc - but youāll have to get used to our dark sense of humour on the secondaries forum - sounds just up your street! If you want Iāll track them down for you so your slow broadband doesnāt have to churn away for too long. Iām glad youāve not got too many rads to do and the steroids are being reduced - at least you should feel better and be able to sleep. Anti depressants will help as well, donāt worry Iāve been on them 2x in my life after postnatal depression so they really can lift the gloom. However a glass or 3 of wine will be just as helpful;-) Post when you can but make sure you are doing what you want and can do. As Lily said, if youād like a visit from us Iām sure we can sort it out. Also definitely apply for DLA - you will get some financial help through it - should be fast tracked and itās backdated to date of application. Thinking of you - in a very positive way xx
Quick catch up with everyone else. Snow is gradually going but still leaving behind a lot of icy patches. Luckily not had any more overnight just heavy rain to contend with which is adding to the melting ice! My route to work is normally good as itās on main roads and only for 10 mins so I should be OK when I set off later. Enjoyed my massage yesterday (as above) and have got 5 more to have - lovely. I may then see if I can book the therapist privately as they are all volunteers at the hospice and no charges are made. Otherwise not been up to much. Hope to get out this Thurs when Iām not working to attack the birthday ideas. I fret about things so much until I know whatās happening or going to happen so Iām in list mode at the moment! Next bit will be sending invites out to family and friends for her drinks party on the Sunday. I need to get her to do this during this week as sheās off ski-ing with her college on Friday so wonāt see her for a week and then itās getting a bit close on time. At least sheās accustomed to the snow, on previous years when weāve gone as a family itās normally been damp, muggy and not cold at all here, let alone a week of snow. Iām still struggling to get/find a suitable photo on here, will try again when Iām back from work.
Hope everyone is doing OK, in all their circumstances. I have a fasting blood test on Thursday morning to check my cholesterol levels as theyāve risen recently and will make sure they take a good armful to pass onto the hospital for my next treatment next Monday. Not looking forward to the 12 hour fasting though - just like a CT scan but at least I donāt have the disgusting drink to take when I get there. Will be packing a snack and coming straight home for a cup of tea and a cake!
Take care all, must get organised for work now!
Nicky xx
Hi All
Angie been thinking of you and you are a true inspiration. From your post you say your prognosis was appalling all the time, I thought you had a really good prognosis at the start, but, how they manage the pain and the vino works, cant even contemplate what you are going through. Hope you get to spend some fun times together. There was a link on this site to somewhere that arranges holidays/trips r something nice for you - forget the name will have a look. Talk to the Macmillan as I no when my aunt was ill, they wrote to her credid card companies and the money was wiped clean, no its not major but gives you more spending power to try and have some fun! Get plenty of rest. Does that mean your treatment is finished? Any news on parp trial? Hope you aint in too much pain!
Mamo went okay, results in a week. Headaches not lifting at all and been over a week constant, there when I wake up which is why Im freaked but trying not to stress this week and see what happens. You all sound busy - we have no snow now and sun is shining and Im back on diet and treadmill in my house from my brothers - robson didnt like it thou !!!
Love to all and hugs to Angie - hey Im close by if you need anything xxxx
hi everyone
angie, you are an inspiration to us all, i can imagine you feel petrified, but still managage to make us smile. god bless you, dont worry about the anti-deppressents i have been on them for a while because ive had 2 bouts of deppression over the years and doc thinks it will be better to be on them at moment. i didnt like taking them but hey if it makes things a little easier what does it matter?
glad your thinking along the lines of having help from the relevant people. and there should be no question about you getting dvl. you need to be able to spoil yourself at the moment.
nicky 08
it sounds great that you can have a massage as ive said before, they will not let me have it with the secondaries, but sounds great if you can. im sooooooooooo jealous!
lily 2000
you made me think talking about snow, on the radio the other day, the presenter asked for weird stories. someone phoned up to say he got a big ball of what he thought was snow and it was actually doggy po po. erghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i hope he had gloves on. enough to put you of ever building a snowman again.
take care everyone else, and remember have fun, thats what lifes all about.x
Hi Everyone
Angie - Many of us on the forum has said it, but you are a true inspiration. It is good to here that you and Tommy are going to make the most of your time together and yes, sod the credit crunch. We may not know you face to face, but we will always be here for you in the cyber world. ((((BIG HUGS)))) xxx
Hope everyone had a good weekend.
Now i am back at work and will be getting my first pay day in 6 months this Friday, i have decided to treat myself to some new clothes. Or should i say because of putting weight on, alot of my clothes in the wardrobe are to tight!!! I do need to lose weight so if anyone as any good diets out there what work, without starving yourself, it would be nice for some advice?
Take care all
Kirsty xxx
Kirsty, albeit I dont stick to is but everytime I try and loose some weight, I usually try weight watchers points, its not the best way to do it but I try and eat bit healthier an stick to points and save some for thenaughty things I like and a bt of space for treats (i.e. wine and chocolate at weekend), its good as stick to the range means usually 2 lb ish a week! Last time I lost 2 stone so going to try it again - good luck.
Love to everyone
xx
Hi,
well the snow went and the water cometh, lots and lots of it!! I think I could canoe to work if I had one. Lol. Our little stream is now a 12 foot wide small river, which has almost joined up with the river that has come through the back gate from the nature reserve behind. The bridge is under water, so is the fence and the gate and everything else has sailed downstream I guess. Two doors up looks like a lake as they have flattened their garden, unlike us that have it on different levels. it is still a long way from the houses, which are built much higher than the gardens, so no worries just amazed at it all. The dog is too scared to go through it so is killing every plant at the top of the window. I waded down in wellies today to see if anything was left. Elsewhere swans are swimming on what used to be grass and water everywhere with lots of floods. I had a lovely day at work today, nothing special, it just felt ok to be there.
Kirsty I need to lose weight too, I read that tamoxifen always makes you put on weight so hope that has already arrived and not more to descend! Yikes.Enjoy your pay day, you deserve it. I am going out at half term to blow a lot of money on clothes to treat myself. When I plan that I usually donāt find anything that fits. How are you finding work now?
Lisa I need to do something but never been to a slimming club and a bit embarassed that need help. Are they nice when you get there? By the way stop putting Robson on the treadmill you bully!!!LOL!You canāt get thin by sticking him on it and you just on the sofa watching with a glass of wine and choccies!!How wonderful that credit companies have a human heart and help. Angie hope some of this good stuff is coming your way very soon. Have you managed to get the house comfy? The last boxes never seem to get unwrapped.Perhaps you could enlist help from friends and have a painting party to decorate a room, as I guess it still the former ownersā colour scheme. Or were you lucky and moved in to a home decorated to your taste? Just trying to think of nice things you might consider to give you a bit of focus apart from BC.
Lorraine, that is not my kind of snow, yuk! I have been trying to eat bananas instead of cake but my tummy does not like fibre and aches so not sure if I could be doing more harm than good. Can I help it if my body prefers cake? That should be a good excuse??
Nicky, I am jealous, the back massage sounds fab.I would have been snoring in a minute with that.Have you got flooded as well now? Good luck for the blood test on Thursday and getting 2 at the same time sounds a good idea. One less needle. Is it bone strengthening next week? Had to be half-term! I am settling into work again but get right moody if someone tries to chuck loads of work at me so they are backing off a little. I am waiting for someone to tell me I am different now.LOl.
take care everyone
Lily x x
W.watchers is fine but not joined this time, still have the books so why go and have someone telling me that Ive put weight on and pay them for the privelage - my boss asked me to so a healthy eating club at work, so I have some some cards, recipes and thereās about 20 people joined in and thereās some scales in some offices and its just via email but means I have to try, they gave me a little pot of money for incentives too. So I work for Impact and my hubby at time came up with the name that still stands 6 years later āmake an Impact with Slimpactā!!!
Lily cant believe you have so much water - just for a change we have nothing here. Robbie wont come near treadmill, did try mind!!! Worked out if walked a mile on it as well as walking dog could burn off my curly wurly!!! Well headache eased tonight, wish it would stay away instead of freaking me, but trying to be more positive, inspired of course by lots of people on here.
Good luck to anyone who has any treatment this week, my head is lost with where we are - Lorraine is it this week you have an appointment?
Angie, hope things are stabalising with stopping the steriods a bit, must be very scary but dont know your side effects but hope you are bearing up and not doing too much in the house - hope the wine helps. Will look out that holiday company as they do fab treats for people and usually their partner, they book, finance etc.
Love to everyone, p.s. anyone had a go on wii fit?! Would like to try it but mate whoās 43 just text to say sheās morbidly obese and has the balance of an 80 year old!!!
xxnite
Seeing as Iāve been so depressing in the last 2 weeks I thought Iād share my master plan of fun things with you all instead in case it gives you some inspiration. Iāve had so many emails from Friends, including quite a few who were told they wouldnāt see their 20th and things like that and that was decades ago. It would be really unrealistic to expect to make it more than a year for me but I can do unrealistic 
So fun things areā¦
lush goodies (bath bombs)
bach remedies and rescue lavender bath (sleep blissfully and no parabens even, Ā£7 bargain)
whaling trip on Isle of Mull (hopefully with a little help from MacMillian financially)
cream tea with strawberry jam
funny movies
evenings with friends
Any ideas ladiesā¦ looking for fun. I think itās starting to sink in a little better now. Slowly, still get the fear though but doc did say heād worry if I didnāt. Havenāt touched the antidepressents yet, want to see what happens coming of the steroids first, only so much you can handle at one go right. Wine works though 
hi everyone
lily 2000
it sounds so pretty were you live, well i can imagine it is in the summer. you could always go swimming in your back yard, cheaper than the leisure centre. glad you getting used to working now. maybe its cos pay days getting nearer? i have checked my bank balance and need to go easy for a while now.
lisaf
thanks for asking i have an appointment on wed, for results on bone scan to see if thats why my back was playing up at christmas, i think it was muscular, well thats what i hope anyway.
nicky 08
i can remember you saying you have injections for bone strengthners, how do the benefits compare to takiing it daily? hope you doing ok.
angie
good to see your postings, but even though it will do you good to be positive, we understand if you dont feel like it. just be honest with us, we can take it, and all want to help you through this difficult time. god bless you my prayers are with you.
blessings to everyone else.x
hiya all
Angie, good list, em what else can you add??? Nice walks in lakes with dog and tommy, seems simple but sure it would be fun. Nice housewarming party with all your friends. You havent been depressing at allā¦ god, you are sooo brave, I feel sick when I get any symptons and wont go docs with headaches and fuzzy head as terrified so I really admire you. Sure we can have a bit of fun thinking of nice things for yoy to do.
Is the prognosis just a figure?! Just that the rads must do something to ease the swelling and read somewhere that can sap them and break them down, maybe its just me being naiave. Must be really scary for you but you are doing well without anti-depresants but make sure you take them if you need to, specsh if clears the head a bit to enjoy yourself xxx
Lorraine hope bone scan results are okay, I had one before xmas too cos of lower back pain, discovered my shoulders, lower back and one knee was degenerative, older than my time.
Love to everyone - off for tea after a long walk with dog!! xxx
hi girlies,
im now in the party mood, ive picked my dress do you like it, it is a d+g it cost 2,890, yes two thousand and eight hundred and ninety pounds. i thought id get it in a size 12(well a girl can dream).wouldnt look the same in an 18, they probably dont even make them that size.
i hope some of you join in with me, and show which dress youāll be wearing to our online party.
i will now have to go and find some shoes, to wear, i will leave the dress on for a few days for you all to see. dont forget you can spend as much as you like nobodyās watching. and it wont even affect your bank balance.
have fun x
Good Evening ladies
Lisa - Thanks for the good tips on weight watchers. I will have a look at their web-site. The point system sounds good and at least i will still be able to have a treat!!! I donāt really want to join a group and be stared at every week. Still feeling concious about my hair and how i look.
Lily - Seems to go from one exreme to another. First lots of snow then lots of water!! Hope the weather eases for you. Soooooo looking forward to Friday and spending some money. Also going to treat my son. He doesnāt know yet that he will be getting a treat. We have booked is favourite Restaurant.
Angie - Glad to hear you are going to plan to do some fun things to do. I suggest that Tommy and yourself get away and visit a place that you both would love to see. If the wine helps maybe go on a wine tasting weekend!!!
I am now in my third week back at work. After being away for nearly a year i must admit i have forgotten how to do some things.Slowly but surely things have started to come back. Luckly they are being very patient with me and keep reasurring me that it will take time. Still get very tired in the afternoon so glad to get home and rest. My hours will be going up to 28 hours a week shortly, then back to 37 in about 6 weeks.
Take care everyone and if anyone is having treatment this week, best wishes and ((HUGS)) xx
Kirsty xx
Hi,
chemo brain hit today and when someone told me we were on week A (which we werenāt!) I thought I was free and didnāt go to my lesson. The only one I had today!!! People treated me in a very annoyingly sympathetic, pathetic way, which made me protest even more and them try to soothe me even more. You get the picture. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. That bā¦y 5FU has a lot to answer for. My BILās arm is going numb so emergency trip in the morning to change the plaster. I am on another wedding dress trip with my daughter on Saturday, so bursting with excitement to do that again.
Angie will they consider any more chemo for you as you have not tried a taxane yet like taxotere? We just like to hear from you, but hearing you chirpy is wonderful - good for you.
Things to do hmmmm liked the fresh cream scones yummmy.
Get married in your lovely dress
Go back to where you first met
Make him a cake for valentines day
Walk through a rainforest (very expensive that one)
Visit every interesting place nearby
See the new disney film, Bolt
Buy some satin/silk sheets so bed is lovely and helps you nod off
Have a bottle of pink champagne
Walk by the sea
ETC.
By the way there are 86,400 seconds in every day, think how many smiles there are.
Kirsty I am battling my way back to how I was at work too, it takes time doesnāt it? Battling the bulge too unfortunately. Good luck.
Lorraine, fab dress and at that bargain price I think you should get it in another shade too!I intend to hit my real bank balance shortly, so perhaps Kirsty and I will help save one of the big shope from going under. I am feeling a bit reckless, financially. As long as I bring hubby back something nice, he has never cared how much I spend, which is nice. Either that or hide a few and bring them out over time.LOL. I am cutting labels off though so I canāt see the big sizes on them.We need to find you a job so you can afford that dress!Perhaps one of you should write in to gmtv and get us all a make over and fab outfit!! LOL most of us would be scared to show our faces and wispy hair! We do have a lovely garden, very big for being so close to town, about 260 feet long and goes round behind next door too, with the stream right through the bottom and a bridge to very bottom.The 4 children had a fab time in the summers and little chap loves it as he lives in a flat. Lisa how lovely that they kept the slogan and name he thought up. Did he do it for a competition? I am the opposite, I donāt want to go near any doctors. Prefer to sail along with my head in the sand most of the time. Will be very anxious going for the big check up, even thinking about itā¦ You keep walking Robson, my youngest daughter has lost loads of weight doing just that. Nicky good vein hunting for tomorrow. Fingers crossed you will encounter an expert phlebotomist!1
Hugs everyone
Lily x
Nite all, had a juge wobbler tonight and had to go to mam and dadās for a few hours, was going to docs tomorrowbut going to leave till monday. Stopping at friends an hour away tomorrow for a meal and staying friday, so nic little break for all concerned - today is the year mark so wonder if that was hitting me but did feel woozy!!
Lily, god I can imagine you at work with the sympathy!!! Hope BiL arm okay and have a lovely time wedding dress shopping - its the best.
Kirsty, I dont go to a class - to be honest I tend to hide from most things and people!
God a makeover, how fab would that be, mind we would need a little extra hair to sort out out - mind today about 4 people told me my hair was nearly like before just a little shorter, slight exageration but even my boss who doesnt do personal stuff walked in and said god, your hairs nearly the same as before.
Depressingly tried to find a costume today, when you got one major big boob and nothing its not easy!!!
Angie - hope you had a ālushā bath and get a nice sleep - holiday sounds fab but I think you need a longer list so we will need to keep adding to it. Proud of you x
Nite all and hugs to anyone having treatment
Hi all
What a lovely list Angie, and some good ideas from the others. I was trying to think of some but I think you got it right 1st time! Enjoy the little things, especially the cream scones Iām on my 12 hour fast atm so trying not to think too much about food. Iāve got my blood test in about and hour so I will walk to GPās where they doing it and then back via the bakery - looking forwards to that I can tell you! Plus they do take out teas and coffees and as Iāve not had my morning cuppa Iāll be gasping. Must stop thinking about it!
Other ideas may be to buy something silly for Valentineās day - thereās lots out there. OH got me a red flashing heart a few years ago and it still makes me smile - cheap as chips (oops there I go again!) Also Iāve found a lovely body scrub by Origins - bit expensive but weāre worth it - Incredible Spreadable Ginger Body scrub. It smells lovely especially this time of the year. If not Boots Dead Sea Source do the same ginger smell in their de-stress range (like we need that!) and I think they do a body scrub along with the shower gel, bath soak etc. All without parabens.
Not at work today as Iāve got 101 things to do before YD goes off ski-ing tomorrow - lucky her. ED has been helping an amateur operatic society do their makeup for their show this week. Sheās had some good compliments as she was worried as sheās not done this before, only practised on family and friends. We may go and see it tomorrow evening although I canāt say opera is our āthingā but sheād be well chuffed if we do. She got introduced via one of the bcnās I saw in the summer who is lovely and keeps telling her to make us go to it. This will all help her portfolio when she has to do her uni application next month.
Sorry to hear you had a bit of a wobble Lisa - not surprising as itās that time of the year. Sounds like youāll be sorted for the next day or so seeing friends. Hope you keep smiling and enjoy the weekend as well. My hair is growing like mad and due another cut soon! Not that itās trailing down my back but just needs a bit of shaping. I want to keep it fairly short but would like a bit more length on top for movement. The grey decided to hide and lull me into a false sense of security as the roots are now quite grey in places. Back to the bottle then and hope I get the shade right this time!
Lorraine, love the dress, may have a look online today but I seem to have had no time to get any photo up here - hence the spooky grey shadow still!
Nice to hear from you Kirsty. Work does get in the way of everything doesnāt it? Iāve just written out a long ācalendarā from now until YDās bāday so I can sort out when Iām working and when I need to be doing things for her bāday plus fitting in another treatment session that wonāt interfere with my plans
Lily - how annoying, doesnāt take much to send us round in circles does it? Thatās why I rely on my lists, however if itās not on them it doesnāt get done or bought which can be a bit tricky at times!
Take care all, hugs all round, especially in this cold weather. BTW still got snow in the garden!
Nicky xx
Hi Angie: I know itās a different disease, but as you may recall my sister has Lupus and when she was 20 she was told she wouldnāt last to 30 - she is 58 in October! They donāt always get it right - so letās all hope they are wrong about you. As you once said to me - the stats are based on history and other people, not on you!
LOL
Julia
Hi: Diets!!! Ohmigod! How many have I tried? How many are there???
Over the years the best two for me were the original version of what is now known as Atkins (my version was called the American Air Force diet) and Rosemary Connellyās low fat. In both cases I lost 20lbs in 20 weeks or thereabouts. All I ever say is find a diet you can live with. In each case above I was also doing a LOT of exercise ā like 4/7 hours aerobics each week ā I was young and foolish, I know! One thing I cannot do is the āeat several small mealsā diets as I have taught myself over the years not to eat between meals. Oh and the alcohol has to go! It didnāt seem to matter when I was younger, but certainly matters now.
One side effect I noticed on the list for Arimidex was āanorexia ā loss of appetiteā ā oh yes purlease!!! Will have to con myself into believing I have that for a few weeks.
Lily - I thought about you when I saw the floods in Chelmsford, but looks like you were OK. Glad the work seems be going OK ā apart from them mucking you about ā at least you have half term coming up.
The list of Angie delights seems great ā donāt think I can add much except to say that there are always things we have put off doing or going to because of work. Think back to what they were Angie and add them to your list along with a few flights of fancy.
Iām going to check out the frocks and see just how expensive I can go! My OH will say ānothing new there thenā.
Lisa: hope you are OK now after your wobble ā I think this time of the year is always going to be tricky for all of us but we are on from there now and just keep going.
So far the Arimidex hasnāt caused me any problems ā only just started week 3 so still waiting to see. Have not heard from hospital about the bone density scan or the ECG but Iām not chasing them ā could do with some time away from there. Going to GP on Monday for blood pressure check and then ā trumpets please ā to the gym to get some sort of programme worked out. Wish me luck!
All have a good weekend ā letās hope the weather gets better and we see some sun.
LOL
J
XXXXX
Wow that really is amazing. Hereās hoping eh.
Iād forgotten how heavy the steroids make my arms so sorry if my typing goes downhill a bit. Still should be coming off them now, reducing one a day so only 1 tomorrow. Yippeee.
Back to looking at hotels in Mull for me and a lovely LakeLand order. Just A little retail therapy
Hi Angie
It sounds like itās time for you to join the āSecondaries have made me gormlessā thread! Weāve had a bit of a hiccup and telling off in the middle of it but weāre back on track now
Take care
Nicky xx