Hi, Val I hope that getting all those emotions down in print helped the load feel a little lighter. I believe it takes up to 6 weeks for anaesthetic to get out of your body and with the number of drugs and treatments you may have had a bit of an overload and be coming down from the drug high place they put you in straight after the op. I agree, it may also be to do with blood counts and feeling weaker from low hn after the op so good idea to speak to the bc nurse. Talking to friends, well it can wait a while if that is what you want, they will understand. The good thing about us buddies on here is that you can say shut up or ignore us whenever you want 
. I am guilty myself of feeling the need to provide a remedy for people when they have a problem. Trouble is sometimes we just need to rumble about it and work through it for a while to get it out of our system. Hands up everyone who has felt sorry for themself and just needed to be left alone to sit and stew for a bit (sea of hands go up including mine). I think it is important to say how you feel rather than how people now expect you to be. Or maybe we like to project an image of the person we are in spirit. Are you like me and feel you have to always be positive for the kids? Its hard to keep up all the time. Well I think your current reaction is normal, expected and probably where a lot of people with cancer would be all the time . I regularly have a cry for what ifs and it can be a ridiculous thing that starts me off. I do usually feel better afterwards though. Remember you are still recovering so you will not stay at this stage, you have lots of improvements to come still. Chin up buddy you will need those clogs for a long time yet :). Lisa - you may be right about P being away and I hope it does her the world of good. Well what on earth has happened with the diet? I thought you had been doing well. From the look of your weekends it is going to be difficult as alcohol is so high in calories. Can I suggest being very strict for every other day except the special ones and no puddings at the meals unless fruit? Will the hospital say something about your weight then? Nicky I am very jealous of you being able to enjoy these last summer weeks before the autumn starts. Even today i thought chilly starts and dark evenings are on their way soon 
Love Lily x
Morning Buddies
So sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time at the moment Val, sending gentle, but quite firm, hugs Will message on the other thread as well, where you keep us bone mets girls in order. Take it easy, as you say it is only 3 weeks since your op, you are obviously raring to go mentally, but need to get the physical side back up to fighting form, which must be so frustrating. Maybe its that time of year as well, another summer over? I was feeling very low yesterday, for no apparent reason, but it was a dull, boring day. Today is much brighter and so am I 
Lisa - whats happened with the diet? Oops. However at least you are having fun (away from work) and have lots going on - thatâs our Lisa.
Lily - I love September as itâs our anniversary month so always enjoy those crisp cold mornings - but only when the sun comes out later. weâve always made a point of staying away somewhere on our anniversary so we have many fond memories of trips in the UK, plus some abroad, at this time of the year. We got married on the last weekend in September oh so many years ago and I think there has only been 2 weekends that have had bad weather in all of that time. A top tip for any wedding dates!
Carole - I hope you are having a break and keeping away from any medical stuff - youâve done your fair share recently.
Well, as I said to Val, a bit of a downer yesterday mainly due to worry about YD starting her new job (yes, she got it!) and us not being around to help as itâs always difficult when you start something like that. Also, as we are away on hols later this week, we canât offer practical advice with the flat hunting. I get myslef all worried and then canât sleep so have lots of restless nights. Added to that my tiny little brain working overtime on what to pack, you then get the picture. OH and I are looking forward to our holiday, something weâve wanted to do for ages but havenât been able to sort out. Iâll fill you in when we get back, but donât worry if Iâm not on here from later this week for a while. After that itâs knuckling down to sort a job out and ding ding, next round of onc appointments. Only 1, I know, but a blood test beforehand which is never a good experience with my rubbish veins.
Take care ll
Nicky xx
Hi Nick, hugs to you too for sad news that she is settling in France (sad to mums) and that it is all preying on your mind. I know exactly how that is, as steroids make me feel like I have a parrot on each shoulder arguing with each other! You have to remember that it is second home to her rather than âabroadâ and not England as we view it. Wishing you a fab break and tell us more afterwards. Can you pack your cases early? At least that way you can stop worrying about it. Have you changed your mind about working as I thought you were planning to stay at home? Like you I am heading for the onc on my next visit in Nov, so will be off for blood too. Not that I suffer as much having much less used veins, donât like it though:( Well managed to loose another 1.5 lbs this week and I am annoyingly missed my stone certificate by half a pound. Anyway that should spur me into action next week to get it. Well hopefully! Lisa are you watching Holby still? I know Carole does. I like the new heart doctor and nurse who have joined and Michael Spence is back too . Val have you got any hobbies or interests that you havenât got round to for a while, that might give you a bit of a focus? I quite enjoyed doing jigsaws while off work and hadnât done them for years. Just one idea but I am sure there are a lot of better ones. Or maybe you could take advantage of the sales and start some internet christmas shoppingn for the family. Love Lily x
Hi Ladies
Hope all is going well with you. Weâre off tomorrow so wonât be around for a bit. Iâve stopped worrying about my packing Lily and have got it already to go in the cases when OH gets home. However, still worried about YD who is yet to find a flat and they now need to move out of where they are! Well, although itâs not good that weâre away and not at the end of the phone we werenât going to be in France either so I guess theyâll have to sort it on their own as they are all adults now. Not quite the same as when she left for uni all alone in a foreign city. We will visit when sheâs settled and we`ve returned, and there was me thinking weâd had our last trip. I am quite happy now with her being in France for a while (or even longer) but it was just the getting used to her being here for 2 months during the summer and also the sadness of our little mog that got to me. Iâm glad sheâs living her dream( well, she will be when she has a flat!) and, as a friend pointed out, actually using her degree for what it is for/about. Weâll see how things go though as sheâs into the ârealâ world now.
Take care all, will catch up later, look after yourselves
Nicky xxx
ps meant to say Iâm looking forward to Strictly this time around, what a lot of well known people, it certainly attracts them doesnât it?
Peacock are you oka. Have not heard a peep from you since last Wednesday and you had been to the doctor about your eye.
I am feeling more like myself but realise that it is early days and I need to take care of myself and be patient. But my physical health gets a litttle better day by day and today I was walking indoors with no crutches and it looked (almost) like a normal walk! But need my crutches outdoors as I am so scared that I will fall and damage the surgeons good work.
Someone mentioned hobbies (Lily or Nicky??) but I think that is half of my problem⊠Not that I donât have hobbies but I just donât have the get up and go to do them. I can usually amuse myself fairly easily and donât usually get bored but I just cannot summon up the energy to do the things I want to do. Everything is such an effort. BUT today was sunny and warm here so I managed an hour in the chair in the garden which was nice until the clouds covered the sun. How dare they.
I had my bloods done today as seeing my Oncologist on Friday and probably discussing re-starting treatments or delayng them for a while. Not sure what she will suggest is best.
Yes having a duaghter working and living in France took me a while to get used to but she had been in Australia before on her own back-packing so I am happy that she shose somewhere closer although she is 1000miles away form me. But Ryanair can get me there directly in 1 hour 40 mins (in the air that is). I do hope that your daughter finds somewhere to live ASSP Nicky. Away to watch some TV now. Antiques Roadshow is on. Love Val
Hi, Nicky enjoy and if you are like me, once away you feel better because you know you cannot zoom into action. Whereas, from home you could arrange a trip. I think you made a good decision as she sounds very independent and so I expext that finding her own place might give her a sense of achievement and be something she really wants to do herself. Some of mine are independent minded and I have to think how to broach a subject, especially about babies!! Very tricky topic. Did your MIL ever to try to advise you what to do with yours? I had a wonderful MIL but still liked to do things my own way. Val well you seem to be on an upward trend so I think time will be the big healer, just annoying waiting for it grrrr. Well done for walking inside without crutches, it really hasnât been that long since the op. Might be an idea to build up slowly to walking outside well before that white stuff hits the ground, especially as it gets to Scotland earlier. Donât worry about Carole as she said on 5th that she was going away for a while and not to worry if we did not hear for a while. I hope the onc has a good plan on friday. What would you like to happen next, re-start chemo or wait a while? Hope also that the hb is behaving itself. When that is low you can feel low yourself. Lisa is your hospital appointment about the latest surgery? Cannot remember when you are going but fingers crossed will all be tikkety boo. I donât know what to do with Victor as he keeps going faint, even when sitting down. it worries me when he is out on business as he was today and he felt bad miles away from home. He thinks it might be because he goes out without eating or drinking (as very early) so he has been issued with bottles of water and cereal bars, so he can even have them going along if necessary. My mum suggested this meant it was a warning and that he should retire immediately and me keep working longer to cover our bills!!! Hmm now just remind me, did I forget i had something pretty nasty myself that might mean I wanted to retire early!! She added that my dad was like that and then he died. Well a cheery start to the day for me after that and with him travelling miles all day! She means well but doesnât think. When my dad retired, she was already and had always been at home full time so no idea why I have to be the one to bring the bacon home! They are talking about more teacher strikes, well my union is and that is quite a loss of pay each day i have to go out on strike and thatâs without the grief from people moaning at me about it. Generally you have to go out if its called and its far too dangerous to be a teacher these days without legal back up. I am thankful to have a good job though. take care love Lily x
I know diet been naughty and today was buffet at work, but lost 3lb since monday but just havent been able to do all my swimming classes as work been manic, i feel a bid like folding under pressure but trying to destress late at night by making some new jewellery watching tv, rather than in my jewellery roomâŠ
Site is quiet at mo! hating these dark nights makes me sooo tired, but weekend my best friend 40th so want to make it special seen as sheâs in wheelchair bless her⊠gotta work on Saturday too but needs must.
Thinking of everyone xxxx
Hi ladies
Iâm back, Iâve read back on a few posts to try and catch up and can see youâve all been pretty busy posting whilst Iâve been away.
Nicky â so sorry to read about your cat, I absolutely adore my cats and would be devastated if anything happened to them. 17 is an incredible age so you can be sure that you gave her a wonderful life. Congrats to YD on her job, well done in another country and away from home you must be very proud. Iâve probably missed you but wishing you a happy holiday wherever you are off to.
Val â Iâm agreeing with the other ladies, itâs natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes as youâve had so much go on and just a few weeks ago a very big operation. I think weâve all had that feeling âwhy did this happen to usâ and of course for you, youâve been fighting away for many years. If talking about it helps, talk away we can listen. Youâve also got an elderly parent so as well as being cared for by Mr SL you also have to be a carer to your Dad. I donât know how you cope and yet you seem to so well. Good luck with your Onc apt tomorrow.
Lisa â get back on that diet buddy you were doing so well! At least youâve lost a few lbs so youâre heading on the right track. Jewellery time, hope it de stresses you as it sounds like you are manic at work.
Lily â I hope you and Victor manage to get his heart problem in check, why on earth wonât he try the angina spray, he might not even get the side effects but wonât know unless he tries it. Men and health issues, grrrrr!
We had a lovely break in Spain, all too short but we both rested, didnât do much just enjoyed the garden, the beach and the sun. I kept falling asleep so at least was listening to my body.
I am burnt from radiotherapy under the armpit and under the breast, the skin is peeling and weeping. Iâm going to see my doctor tomorrow to see if she can give me a dressing that wonât upset my skin. Infection is the concern because of the added complication of diabetes.
The biggest concern is my swollen, bruised eye and the awful headaches and pain in my eye that I keep getting. If I get them at night they wake me up and I have to take paracetamol and Ibuprofen to take the edge off. I canât see properly with the bad eye so that makes driving a bit difficult. I saw an ophthalmologist yesterday and he canât find anything wrong with my eye, itâs not infected, not inflamed so what is causing the pain, headaches and weeping eye I donât know. My brain is working overtime and I must try not to think the worst!!! I have never suffered headaches like it, never been prone to headaches except just occasional. I donât really know where to take this next, if it is not an infection what do I do?
Well I think thatâs all for now, it has taken me ages to get this done, good job I am a touch typist because I canât see the keys very well. Sorry for any spelling errors.
Love & hugs to all, Carole
Hi, Peacock good to have you back and it sounds like the holiday came at just the right time to rest. Personally I would recommend the actiform cool again as it is made for rads and leg ulcers as it has something to promote healing. Google it if you want to read more. Or contact the rads hospital to ask for advice and ask them about it. I was told I could contact the hospital about my rads burn long after i finished treatment. I also had to travel to another hospital for mine. Fortunately my skin did not break open but a friendâs did and I gave her my last actiform and she couldnât praise the relief from it enough. Its like cool gel that just stays on your skin without any stickyness or tape needed.It stays cool for so long. You can buy it off the internet. If you donât want to chance trying something new, go back to the unit or ring and ask. You will not be the first or last person to have the same problem. Donât let any of the burn touch other parts of your skin, separate them with something. I am not surprised that you would have a headache if your eye is swollen as the swelling will be causing pressure somewhere. Try not to panic. Think, if you did not have BC you would expect these symptoms from a swollen, weeping eye.Doing something about it though is important. Diabetes affects eyes I believe and so could a lot of other things. My advice would be to see the GP and let him make the decision as to who/what can sort it out. Have you read all the leaflets of recent medication changes? Could it be a side effect? Good luck and please ring rads unit and doc tomorrow (friday) so you can maybe get some help before the weekend x. Lisa it was still a good weight loss. Just think about which bits of the buffet you eat!!! Why is work so busy at the mo? Have fun at the weekend at your friendâs celebrations. Is it the one who had the op? Did anyone watch âthe audienceâ on tv tonight? I recorded it because the trailer made me curious, 50 people helping you make a decision. Its recorded as out at school tonight. love Lily x
hey welcome back Carole, but outch the eye sounds painful wonder if you have got an infection, when my eyes were and rash were playing up the other week i had a massive headache my eyes were weeping and puffy xxxxx Hope the break helped a bit and the thigns Lily was talking about helps with rads xxx
Lily, damn wanted to tape that, will have to tell me what it was like. Yeah mates birthday sheâs in wheelchair so making a fully disposable buffet and taking a few friends up to see here, ocne Ive worked on Sat for this community fun day, always busy but manic at mo, boss just thinks i can do more and more but at least today heâs committed to asking for my assistant to be kept on from April and in fact full time from 3 days which would be fab and as heâs CEO hopefully it will happen.
Well just wrote my things to do list for work only 57 items, now to write one for at home should be just as long lol!
Happy weekend all xxxx
Hi girls, I saw y Oncologist today and to cut a long story short she has started me on steroids for a couple of weeks, to hopefully help with my lack of appetite and help with my low mood. She checked out my chest then sent me for an xray. She said she thought there was a possibility of fluid in my lung as not full capacity when I was breathing in. She said she woud try to phone me with results but if not enough time she will call me on Monday. I have not heard so a long wait ensues. All this threw me for six as I thought we would be discussing the chemo. But we decided to hold of the chemo for the moment mainly because I just donât feel well enough. So in the waiting room again as they say.
But peacock, are you on steroids because my information sheet about my steroids talks about problems with the eye when on them. Just a thought⊠that I do not remember if you have considered before.
OH went up to collect my meds from local pharmacy. Not arrived inâŠhunt hunt huntâŠphone phone phoneâŠwait wait waitâŠBut hope you all have a fun weekend. Val
Sorry youâve had another traumatic day Val, good days are on their way soon for you 
To answer your question no Iâm not on any steroids, but youâll soon be running marathons with the ones youâll be taking, I hated them but it sounds as if you really need them so let them do their job.
Lisa, happy list writing but enjoy your weekend too.
Lily thanks for all your advice, my story is to follow.
I went to my GP today, waited 2 hours (it was a no appt clinic) and then when I went into see her she was shocked by my eye and I went through about all the symptoms, then she looked at my sore boob from rads, as usual I got the âooh la la, câest tres malâ, it turns out to be a rather large abscess and she was horrified that it had gotten so bad.
So I was sent off for a brain scan (they had a job to find one) and an ultrasound of the breast. The good news is that the brain one is all ok, so I still have no explanation for the headaches and sore weeping eye. The bad news is that there is a large abscess and something going on with one of the lymph nodes, perhaps fluid, perhaps haematoma.
My GP wanted me to go straight off to the usual hospital in Toulouse for them to look at it but it was impossible for me to go this evening, I wouldnât have reached them before 8 pm so the practicality of anything being done wasnât looking good. Now Iâm to go on Monday, unless I develop a fever and then must go sooner. As Iâm taking so much paracetamol and ibuprofen for the head/eye pain itâs a bit difficult to tell if I do have a fever.
Am really tired, fed up being sick although I know it could be much worse, poor Val has so much more to deal with I am slapping myself as I write
Have a great weekend buddies, itâs a quiet one for me xxx
No you are not Peacock. You sound worse to me as mine seem small in comparison. But we wonât argueâŠI donât have the stamina for an arguement. Is Mr P at home or away. You could do with some TLC. Please take their advice and get off to the hospital if you are at all worried. Delaying things over the weekend may not be the best thing in the long run. Better sooner than later but I know you will be sensible, wonât you Carole!!! You are having a lot of things to deal with too and it must be more difficult in a foreign country with the language problems in translation. Normal chat is ok when in France but when you are trying to put over something or understand what they mean it must be hard. It is hard enough for me when I saw my own Consultant today. I got no word back this afternoon so holding on until Monday. Take careâŠhope the steroids work quickly so I can make breakfast for Richard for a change tomorrowâŠbut donât think they wil work quite so quickly. Love V
Well phew you are both in the wars! Peacock sounds awful but im so glad someone has actually identifed what it is at last, how long have you had to wait. And glad found a brain lol! Well everything crossed for you on Monday xxx
Val, poor you, hope steriods give you a bit of appetite and you can get back to your famous shopping xxx
Hope everyone else okay xxx
Hi, gosh you two! You both have a lot to deal with and in a funny way, worrying about each other is diverting you a little. Can I be umpire on who is the worst ha ha. Carole I am so glad you went to thye GP to start sorting out. Briliiant that there is nothing except a brain in your nut Whilst an abscess is not nice at ll, especially with diabetes, can I say hoorah for things they can sort out. I had what they call a carbuncle, being 3 abscesses alongside each other and got sent to oncology (long before bc) but before I got there it burst right through the skin and I had a small op to remove the rest. They can be hard to get rid of as the pus is sealed in a tight ball and I think they generally operate and scoop it out, rather than have antibiotics. It was a very minor procedure. I would say keep an eye on it as you donât want the bacteria in it getting into your blood system if it bursts. When mine did, they took me straight in but I had felt the pressure building up for days before it went. i donât mean to scare you, just alert you what to look out for besides the temperature. Oh poor you, this is a medical minefield at the moment for you. Make sure you eat enough to line your stomach and that might help you to feel less nauseous. Remember you have to feel well enough to make that journey to hospital so be sensible please. What did the doc say about your eye? Good luck and keep in touch. Val I can see why they would be trying steroids because without eating a reasonable amount of food the chemo would make you so much worse than usual and that could then stop the next one, a bit of a vicious circle. I hope they donât keep you awake too much, they have that effect on me. Maybe knowing that you need to be strong enough to take the chemo will give you the drive to get back into eating and everything else. I hope this turns around for you very soon, so you can get back on track. Lisa it sounds manic at work, so you better enjoy your weekend but have a big sleep on Sunday or it will be a very long week. havenât watched the prog yet, it is Thurs at 9 if you want to record the next ones. Might catch it elsewhere though. Not much planned for me this weekend as Victor has tons of work. The dentist told him he will need an extraction if his tooth doesnât settle in the next few days but he is reluctant to take it out as it is a large wisdom tooth and he said they are tricky at Victorâs age! I know extractions are a problem if you have heart issues, so hoping it settles. We donât know if he has an issue or not. All these what ifs are confusing. Hoping to hear everyone starts improving soon. carole be careful and you need to go before it bursts, so if pressure builds , get going love Lily x
Hi, oh dear no posts. Hope you are all ok and in particualr thinking of Carole and Val as they battle through a new week of challenges. Hope those mountains are getting smaller to climb. Oh the weekend goes so quickly and here we are on the brink of a new week again. I did not have a particularly large pile of marking but still have not completed it. On monday ED asked me to go shopping with her and I love spending time with all the family so rarely turn any offer down. We poodled round the shops and looked at our brand new Primark. Its the tidiest one I ever visited! I did not buy much as she had a lot of pressies to get before her next holiday. Today I went over to visit YD and baby as they were unable to have dinner with us tonight as usual. I canât believe how he alreday has favourite baby programmes and goes bonkers when Henry comes on tv. I can see what I will be buying for christmas for him. Our dog has been sick and moping around but seems brighter tonight so fingers crossed we can avoid another vet bill this time. The bill always seems to be the same or just below the excess so we cannot claim. Victor has worked the entire weekend so i hope he is ok first thing in the morning. A bit yawnt so maybe I will sleep. love Lily x
Just a quick up date from me, I made it to the hospital today and saw my surgeon who was convinced I had an abscess so he prepared to drain it there and then but when he did nothing came out of it, he was shocked as it looks like an abscess and has been leaking like an abscess for nearly 2 weeks now, hence the reason I kept it dressed. Anyway, as they are baffled Iâm staying in hospital at least for tonight and am expecting to have a scan tomorrow so they can find out what is going on with the breast. I think he suspects necrotic tissue after the lumpectomy but theyâve swabbed it and if it is an infection at least I should end up on the right ABâs. Again one of lifeâs mysteries I should be a trial patient for a book to be written about me I think.
Take care, will update when I can hi to everyone xx
Hi Carole, I am not sure whether to be pleased that you are at last being looked after regarding the red area or sorry for you being kept in hospital again. I donât know how you manage to organise the family, house and pets too. What a wonderful woman You are in the right place to have a good dx and then solution, so chin up for this next trauma and I hope you are on the mend soon. You write that book about yourself! Or maybe we should write a book between us, having a chapter each entitled âmy storyâ or Lilyâs story and Peacockâs story and anyone else who fancies writing! Hospital hugs love Lily x x x
My Oncologist called this morning. She wants me to re-start my Capecitabine next Tuesday when I go for my Zolidronate infusion. I am happy with this now because my tumour markers have soared yet again since I stopped my last chemo pills to have my Hip replacement in August. I have had to stop my letrozole again, only been back on it for a few weeks since I got home and spoke to the hospial about reatarted it! She is also going to arrange another CT scan but this may take a few weeks to get an appointment through. She wants to check that nothing else is going on with my cancer in other area. Fingers crossed there is nothing nasty. I am still on the steroids and findng them very helpful as my mood is lighter, my appetite is returning and I am buzzing about doing stuff again and have today been sorting the filing that has been building up, bank statements and old bills etc. So feeling more organosed. But my OH keeps telling me to rest! So been catching up on programmes on the iplayer on TV.
My OH went to collect my father to take him to collect a suit Dad had ordered form Austen Reids and then brought Dad to our house to have luch which was lemon sole and home made chips and a sauce marie rose on the side. This is the first time my Dad has been over since my daughter was over form France for my Motherâs funeral. I have invited him loads of times but it was nice to see him relaxing and telling me what I need to do in the gardenâŠas if I could manage anything right now!
I have sent you a message Geewhiz. I will miss your imput and your support but understand how amny of our ladies feel about the poor changes on the BCC Site. Many have tried for months to hang on but we have lost so may informative people who had so much to otffer new users especailly. But I fully understand your reasons and I too find dificultlies that we did not have on the old site and I far preferred i the way it was too. I especially miss the saved siscussions threads but for some reson this seems to difficult to reinstall though I cannot imagine why as the fund raising and the Archives sectons and other sections that seem to me less importantâŠbut that is just meâŠand I just cannot see the point of this new thing where each post to each thread shows up as an individual line so that you have to scroll through pages and pages to get to the one thread you are looking forâŠa complete waste of time and energy and space. Surely if anyone posts on a thread they can just add the new post on to the same headingâŠa complete waste of spaceâŠmoan overâŠLook out for me message Geewhiz. Thank you for all your help in the past. Love Val
I copied and pastrd this from the bone mets thread to save me writing it all out again. sorry there are bits that do not really applu here but nothing you cannot read.
Sorry to hear about your recent hopsital stay Carole. Let us know how things are when you can. gentle hug, Val
Val, got everything crossed for your scan and carole thinking of you.
Site is doing my head in a bit at mo, not been loggin onto laptop at night and have tried countless times to post from my mobile bit it is having none of it,
Hope everyone else is okay. Got a ladies vs cancer night on Friday so should be fun!
Lots of love
Lisa xx