Darling buddies from May - moving on

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Recovering from treatment
1401

Well, my love life ponders on but have to keep you amused, well it was the normal mates brother on NYE. Didnt really talk all night because all family was there and i felt uncomfortable, but the party was at his sisters who is a good mate and his other sister is one of my best mates, so i went back to my best mates due to taxis, with her and partner, Simon (yes i dont always call him laddo), his mam and his daughter, we ended up having a chat where he said he didnt want a relationship cos he’s an idiot and his house is awful, works loads of hours, got 2 kids, never had time, cant provide for me like he wants and hes a loner, blah,blah, blah, believe it or not he is a lovely bloke who would do anything for anyone but he’s used to working away from here at on his own all time. I said up to him, dont want nothing heavy but shouldnt say hes going to ask out then not etc. anyhow, i said to leave it alone and he said but he really cares for me and hasnt looked at another woman for 4 years (since our first drunker stupor) and that im the only person he’s interested in and really likes me, in the meantime his daughter was hanging off me and his ex inlaws landed drunk as they were walking home to see his daughter so we were all having a laff and he cornered me for a chat again and i told him to leave it and go back to being mates, walked back in living and the ex mother in law said so who was i cos we hadnt met, i said im angela’s best mate, simon walked in behind me and said no actually she’s my girlfriend… what… why are men so fickle, he just told me didnt want a relationship and then introduces me to his ex in laws as his girlfriend, me being me walked round and stayed at his, his other daughter landed in morning and he said something to her about us dating… 5 mins later he was saying look at state of house, need to get it in order before can think of relationship!!! Humbug, but for a change not bothering what will be will be, he is just a bit of a loner as we were all out yesterday and he wouldnt come cos wanted to stay in on own.

But as i know some of you will be asking - i think some of the side effects of Arimidex are lessoning, will let you work that one out…

Hope everyone okay, having a last few glasses of wine, put 6lb on so diet monday, lily im praying your surgeons brother turns up instead for my appointment Tuesday…

Also have to admit might have been banned from a pub in town for being the worst backing singer ever on kareoke, dam that last vodka!!!

1402

p.s. Lily i got some insurance from columbus direct, wouldnt give me annual insurance but could do each trip, think it cost me around £50 for two weeks in America and covered both my BC and lymphodema.

1403

Happy New Year everyone, may it be a wonderful year for us all.

Well, so much to catch up on but from glancing through it looks like you all had a fabulous NY evening,

Bev glad you managed to hobble a bit for the dancing and don’t worry about being a bit down, I think we all go through phases like this. Lorraine, you must keep positive that Xeloda will do the job for you, at least the steroids are building you up for the treatment. Lily good luck for your appointments, Lisa you don’t half pick em LOL, hope you don’t get banned from the pub, what were you singing by the way? Soulgirl, so sorry about your Dad and Nicky glad you all had a good get together, now you’ve got to go through the departure bit again.

I had a super week in Hampshire, saw all the children lots, and our grandaughter loved the pantomime, but not as much as me with all the audience participation “oh no you didn’t” etc. Also managed to spend £100 in M & S vouchers, bought some TShirts for the summer and some other clothes to fit now.

NY Eve on the boat was good, saw lots of fireworks at midnight over Portsmouth and plenty of loud fog horns blasting.

Arrived home yesterday afternoon, exhausted and so tired, just wanted to sleep really but a friend invited me to dinner so it saved me having to cook.

Today I’ve been suffering a stiff and painful neck, must have slept awkwardly I think.

Anyway on that note its time for bed, night night buddies xx

1404

peacock, sounds like you had a wonderful time. hope the achy neck goes soon, mine does that a bit and its usually when im stressed or tired!!

xx

1405

Hi,
well lots to read tonight :slight_smile: Only Nicky not online from the look of it and she is probably smooching somewhere :slight_smile: Sorry I watched Home Alone 2 three times in one day on Sky and laughed more and more each time I watched it. Victor thought I had been on the sherry ha ha. I love it when he says you’ve been smooching with my brother and then the list of people and then he says Cliff and the old fella denies it. I am laughing again just typing this. Trouble is when I do this I start laughing again as soon as I get in to bed and then Victor says what on earth is going on and then that makes me laugh even more so I shake the bed up and down for ages and have to get up and read a book to get to sleep. Oh no the giggles have got me now he he he he.
Lisa you little devil, was it fun :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: I am rather fed up with the apathy from this bloke and think you should ask him round every weekend and then jump him. He is a bloke and four years is a long time for them so then he will be at your mercy! Now I am chuckling about you too!!I think you could win this battle if you put your mind to it and you wanted to? Yes what were you singing so badly?
Hi Lorraine I am wondering if you are still up all twinkly eyed. I quite understand no time for housework, marvellous plan :slight_smile: Well I am glad you kept the comment clean about the boilerman. We were both on chemo at the same time and he started the conversation. I think we ended up doing a whose got the worst story conversation. Anyway he said he had the full dose of xeloda with no side effects and worked throughout. I didn’t like to point out to him that he was very thin so probably did not need as much arsenic as I would. He was def not a cake eater! He came back recently about a radiator and looked really well. Horrible about the lady with the fire, how terrible. Did any of you watch the people’s videos of the tsunami? I was just in awe of the whole thing and these poor people reliving how they lost their children and families. They all said we owe it to those gone to do something worthwhile and to enjoy the life we have still got. It sounds a sad programme but it also reminded me of Angie and how she wanted everyone to enjoy every minute. So it was actually a bit of an empowering thing to watch. Bev I do know how you feel and never think you can’t tell us. If I stop and think I would say starting a new year is now daunting rather than exciting and I tend not to think of things way ahead in time as that triggers other thoughts. I am cushioned by my excitement about my daughter’s wedding and hopefully hundreds more Grandchildren in years to come. So I am laughing a lot instead and thinking I am not in charge or control of what happens so I don’t need to feel responsible for worrying about it.Of course I reserve the right to be doom and gloom when it catches up with me again. Loved the dance moves!! Have you booked a physio yet, do something positive towards better mobility, it might help. I hope so x. Lisa thanks for the insurance tip I am bullying Victor into a holiday before he plans how to not go on a holiday. We have relatives who have invited us to stay in the US and I hope to take them up on it as we have looked after their son for the last 3 years at Christmas. Peacock sounds like you have really been living it up. Oh yes you did! Good for you, it sounded lovely, all of it, except going home.
Right well I am still giggling about Lisa and home alone so it will be bad luck Victor who is already fast asleep - but not for long he he he
Love
the immortal one x x x

1406

ha, good one Lily, love home alone too and making the bed shake!!! I would invite him round if he ever picked up his mobile phone, but sorry for the winge hard when your best mates are his sisters cant twine too much.

Hope you manage to get a holiday planned.

I havent really done new year much since Graham died and try to avoid the whole 12 o clock bit as always emotional, we raised a glass for everyone and good health and happiness and to those who couldnt be here and i got a lump in throat as thought of Angie but then i know she would have been the first to raise a glass with positive thoughts, drink always makes me feel down in dumps day after and worry about every ache and pain.

In terms of giggling at tv, does anyone watch wipeout on tv, i dont do games shows but especially the celebrity one had me howling tonight, when they have to launch themsleves at huge red rubber balls and try not to fall off cracks me up.

By the way the singing was mustang sally and my mate is a good singer, in fact she sang in church at my wedding but me and her sister join in but sing royd sally royd!!! Oooppss.

Well hope everyone is okay, on countdown to work on Monday boo hoo. nite all xx

1407

Oh my goodness, what night owls you all are! Sounds like you have all been having fun, wink, wink Lisa.
I know how you feel Bev about being a bit down. I think we all build ourselves up for Christmas which is hopefully nice for all of us but then the reality of getting back to work and the usual routine suddenly rears it’s ugly head. It’s no wonder we feel a bit low. I can understand how many people don’t like Christmas with all it’s added pressures and stresses and also why some, like Lisa, don’t want to ‘celebrate’ the New Year. It’s like we are forced by all the marketing hype to enjoy it whereas it can be a bit much for some. I love it all but do feel a bit low after all the full on celebrating bit. Let’s all cheer ourselves up with silly movies, tv and looking forward to some good things this year - like Lily’s daughter’s wedding. I’m trying to plan a few mini breaks the 1st half of the year even if it’s just a night away somewhere different. We were lucky enough to get some Eurostar vouchers from my brother so we can plan something around those. I hope we can all pick each other up still if any of us are a bit down.
Well, onwards to starting back at work - boo hoo as Lily said. I still have YD here so will try to be around a bit for her as well until she goes back next weekend. Other than that OH and I went over to Guildford yesterday to have a look round the sales but didn’t get anything - just as well as we have to pay for all the Christmas presents when the bills come in! A lovely town , as Lily knows (if I remember right from your visit last year) so it was good just to be out in the cold bright day. Another day like that today as well so a bit of a walk for me and then tackling a few jobs - so a very boring day - and nothing like as exciting or funny as everyone else has had!
Have a good rest of the weekend and chin up everyone!
Nicky x
ps - Lily - I’ve used Miaonline for insurance before and they covered my secondaries when we went to US last year - very reasonable but I think you will have more choice who to go with as you don’t have secondaries so can shop around a bit more.

1408

Hi girlies,

and thanks for putting up with my blip I think you hit the nail on the head Lorraine when you said we all try to make more of life than we possibly did before and in a way that can bring its own pressures. Thank you. I hope you are feeling o.k. and gaining in strength.

Lisa the man needs a kick up the butt what is wrong with him and how very confusing one minute not interested and the next announcing you as his girlfriend I think he is confused! but I do hope you sort things out and good on you for having a good time well done.

Lily absolutely right need to focus on the positive good events that are coming up. We thought our son had invited us to his flat yesterday to announce he had proposed to his girlfriend as he nsisted her parents were present too. No such luck buy hey ho I am sure they will get around to it in time. Keep us informed of all the wedding plans.

Nicky thanks for the words of wisdom I guess christmas is a bit of weird time emotionally ordinarily without the feelings we are all experiencing and yes it certainly does help coming on here and having a cyber chat thank you.

Good to hear you had a lovely new years eve Peacock!

love to all and be in touch soon.

Bev xx

1409

hi everyone

i actually ventured out to church today, i wasnt sure if i was up to it, but just thought go for it! shoved the old steriods down me neck and got on with it. tummy filling again, so i will need to sort drain out again, before chemo. hubby went around the sales and came back with lots of pressies for himself, im not interested in anything like that at moment. just to feel peaceful while at this stage is a blessing. they gave me the church flower arrangement which was nice, sunny yellow flowers.
thing are pretty normal in the household last night victor wouldnt even let me pinch his chocolate buttons, but today i rebelled and thought im having them like it or not! i think he wants to pretend none of this is happening, who can blame him?
eldest son is still being a saint, and 14 year old is a typical 14 year old, what more can i say.

lisaf
well hes one confused individual this simon, let him get on with it, just pounce on him when you feel the need, take his mind off the messy house, and become a women he cant resist, if you know what i mean?

nicky
glad youve had a good family time, thats what its all about at the end of the day, shame we have to get back to routines eventually

bevvy
glad you feeling bit brighter, nature of this disease im afraid, at least where quiet good at getting back to the good moments, with a little help with our friends.

peacock

good to hear youve had good celebrations,

best wishes everyone x

1410

Hi all

Well good luck and wishes to all you ladies going back to work tomorrow, I started working today but at least its only via the internet so I stay at home. Flippin internet is still driving me crackers, on one minute, off the next, then the internet phone goes down and I haven’t been able to make any calls today. I don’t know what the answer is, have just accepted this is normal.My neck is still playing up today, haven’t taken any painkillers but have used my tens machine and a heat pad to try and help. That will teach me a lesson for nodding off at the airport and again on the plane coming home, I was soooo tired after NY eve do.

Lily your story of a shaking bed made me laugh, we will all enjoy your tales of the grand wedding run-up until the big day.

Lorraine how nice they gave you the church flowers, sorry about your tum filling up again, hope you get some relief tomorrow.You make sure you get some of the chocolate buttons before they are all gone.

Nicky, it’s nice your YD is home with you for a bit longer, what a good idea to have a few mini breaks and why not.

Lisa, everyone has said what I was thinking about Simon, give him a kick up the butt. NY must have been very difficult for you, Graham must have died very young and I’m sure you must have thought about life and how the future might have been together. Don’t mean to start you off, but just trying to understand and sympathise how horrible it might be for you.

Bevy hope you are ok and recovering well from all the dancing on NY.

Hope you all have a good start to the week and will catch up soon.

P xxx

1411

Hi,
lovely to hear from everyone, even Nicky had stopped smooching with her lovely hubby to find time to say hello :)Please please can we meet up, maybe Easter hols sort of time or possibly end of Feb half term, but might be cold then.I just wondered Lorraine how you would feel about us coming nearer to you. You will have to be brutal and tell us if you prefer to be mysterious and stay a cyber friend. My friend Flora would tell you I am not the quietest visitor to have around when you are having treatment but I do bring bags full of sweets with me :)Unfortunately I seemed to terrify the poor pharmacist who was bringing her goodies in, I can’t imagine why!! Anyway Lorraine cyber buttons coming your way - open up that little beak :slight_smile: Sorry to hear that blasted baby is making a come back but I think the chemo will hopefully knock that one on the head and strangulate the little perishers. Also very glad to hear you got to church and i know it must have taken a big leap of faith to venture out of the house and lovely they made a fuss of you too and that peaceful feelings are with you again.Just think of one day at a time and not having to get up and scrape the car wind screen in the morning. Brrrr feel cold just thinking about it. I think my son has bronchitis and sinusitis, he sounds terrible. He still went to work at 6 am both days and came back saying Oh Mum do you know how cold it was and there was even ice on the inside of the window and I was coughing and my head was thumping! Poor old thing has been in the duvet for most of the day but rallied tonight to go out again, as they do! He is very excited about being 18 soon and 2 days later I will be something with a zero on the end eeek.
Lisa yes I was hooting with alughter at wipe out too when they hit those red balls! Great fun!Just starting to think about a holiday really so not sure what we will do for sure.I wqtched calendar girls tonight and told Victor I would like to go upper class too! Boo hoo to work, will the journey be better now or are the roads still bad?
Nicky well wink wink sounds like you are the only one in bed early :slight_smile: Hey where are you planning to go? Fit me/us in somewhere please.Boo hoo about you back at work too. I have a really busy pants day and they always have a late night on the first day back. I have no idea why and moan and grumble about it! Yes I thought Guildford had lovely shops and could have spent a lot more time there. Bev you blip as much as you like - we are the Queens of blips, all of us. I have had several occasions when I though there was going to be news before there actually was, keep quiet and your fingers crossed. Then you can worry about what to wear, a lovely problem. Peacock I hope your neck improves by tomorrow, mine was bad and made my head ache because I couldn’t lie flat after my chocolate fest! I am trying not to think about funny things as I need to go to sleep tonight. I have woken up at 9 most days and so tomorrow will be a rude awakening at 6.40. Oh if it snows please let it be tons and so I can have a snow day.
Well Victor has told me that we are both cutting back on food and told me not to buy cakes. What a boring day at the supermarket that was! So there are only left over things and he has been stuffing them all in his little beak as fast as he can. Every 5 minutes he was at the quality street, orange segments,nuts, cakes, wine, beer, etc. I know what his plan is! He eats all the things I like first so that he can then take his time eating the things only he likes over the next few weeks. Good thing I have secret chocolate chip flapjacks zipped in my rucksack for work :slight_smile:
Hope work is not too much of a shock everyone in the same boat as me. If you are not going, have an extra 20 minutes for me and enjoy
Love
Lily x x

1412

hiya all, sounds like we all hit a little downer, i think mine is also from over indulging, drink downer feel great at time but delayed hangerover hits in and even dad shouted at me tonight as i was complaining about this and that and said i never do anything about about it and i only complain when im down in dumps but that’s cos you lot get it rather than them all the time!!!

New day tomorrow, work for some of us eh, booo hooo, still cant sleep on bad arm and hosit it up so i never quite sleep as much as i would like and last night i was still awake at 7am!!!

But here’s to looking positive and diet tomorrow, so here with my last glass of wine and chocolate brazils, yum yum, lets hope the plastic surgeon has but some xmas weight on when i see him on Tuesday. What’s on the agenda food wise tomorrow if anyone has something nice let me drool!!!

Lorraine glad you got out to church, sounds nice getting those flowers, and get those chocolate buttons pinched, whenever im ill i always have jelly tots, dont ask me why!! Hope they get your stomach cleared before the chemo and we will be here for you all the way.

Peacock, hope you get the pain in your neck sorted.
Nicky, glad you get to spend some more time with family.
Bev hope you are feeling a bit better

Lily, defo up for a meet up, no idea when ops will be this year but prob looking at three and always a 3 month waiting list so im sure i can probably manage anything and anywhere, spesh if easier for Lorraine, to be honest i love getting on a train on my own (as long as not too many changes) with a book its only chill out time i get. would be nice for as many as possible of us to meet up, oh my god, lets hope its not around when i have major op as i dont want to burst any stitches laughing!!!

Arrgh, just looked at work emails and 35 from boss, gonna be a busy week but traffic for me is fine and im going to work with a smile on my face and you manage to make me feel that Im really lucky for what ive got, although i might come back on to complain after a full day at work and then swimming at 9pm!!!

Well on tv front, watched gavin and stacey (missed other series only watched this one) but borrowing set off friend, Gotta Dance (which have to admit might get to like) and Celeb BB, wierd but could end up watching - i think im sad.

Love to all and good luck to all those back to it tomorrow, reality hits, my brain is going to take some getting back into gear. What’s

1413

Hi Girls,

well I know this sounds barking but I am actually jealous of those returning to work as I am going completely stir crazy being stuck at home.although Lily I certainly had the extra 20 mins for you! The ankle is much better but I am still limited to how long I can stand on it and I haven’t got enough mobility to drive which is truly driving me mad aghhhhh! I just can’t wait to get my car and decide where I want to go without relying upon others all the time.

Enough of the whinge. I am seriously going to try to lose a bit of weight (famous last words when there is still so much chocolate it the house) I have started off well this morning with muslei and intend to have rice cakes with tuna and rocket for lunch but that damn box of chocs keep staring at me. I will have to banish it out of sight.

Sorry to hear your arm is still being a nusiance Lisa but the swimming will help I am really missing that too at present but hopefully next month normal activities will resume. Do you have to type much at work as I find that really irritates the arm too.

Lorraine well done for getting out and going to church and I am glad you found it an uplifting experience as understandably it can be quite an emotional place to be at times. Hope the tummy feels more comfortable soon.

My poor little cat is not too good at present he has a growth on his leg that he has had for about a year but just recently it has got larger and he is holding his paw up a lot and chewing it. I have taken him back to the vets but there is little they can do other than pain killers so unfortunately unless it stabilises we will have to have him put to sleep, he is now 17 so he has had a good life but I just hate the thought of making that decision. At present I am putting anti inflammotories in his food and putting aloe vera (direct from the plant) on his leg but I think I am clutching at straws. So i will make sure I will really spoil him the next few days or weeks we have with him.

love Bev xx

1414

Hi everyone
Bev - I can sympathise about your cat. Our first cat was the great old age of 17 as well and suddenly went down hill over a weekend. There was nothing we could do to help her but I cried my eyes out when I left the vets without her. I’ve got my hanky at the ready if this is a decision you have to make :frowning:
Lorraine - it’s good that you got to your church, I’m sure it was a big effort on your part but I hope it helped you spiritually as well as mentally. How lovely to see, and arrange, bright yellow flowers - especially after all the red and green of the festive season - bring on Spring asap is what I say. I hope the drain is sorted - boy, does that sound like a household problem rather than a personal one! And also that the chemo is doing you some good and you notice the difference soon. Hugs and positive thoughts are coming your way - and definitely eat all the chocs!
Lily - I hope the early morning and the rest of the day have been good. I’m not working today but back tomorrow with the rest of you. Just wondering if Bev could take my place as I could get used to these lazy, doing-nothing, days! It would help you as well, Bev, from going stir crazy. I do know how it is with not being able to go out when you need to and relying on others helping all the time - hope it’s not long before you can drive again and the mobility is getting better all the time.
Lisa, Peacock, Julia, Soulgirl, Scottishlass - hope all is going well for you and this new year is good to all of us.
Have any of us made resolutions? Other than the diet, drink, exercise ones? I am trying to be more tolerant of people (that may not last that long!), be kind to myself (diet, health and maybe treat-wise), and to enjoy myself - should be able to keep that one! What are yours?
I hope we can all help each other with whatever is thrown at us this year from treatments, operations, new love life (yes, that does mean you, Lisa), weddings and anything that may need some sounding off about that we don’t want to trouble our loved ones with.
Have a great week and be careful of the ice if it’s as bad where you as it is here (again!)
Nicky xx

1415

hi girlies

wow no chance of getting bored with you lot, posts are getting longer which im not complaining about
im pretty rough today, but i made myself get out and see grandaughter, which took some effort cos she lives about 40 minutes away, and we had to combine it with picking hubbys stock up for work.
i felt so lifeless but she brought a smile to my face when she grabbed my phone and took a pic of us, and for once she caught a smile on my face, so thats a nice one of the two of us to keep.

so undecided what to do about tummy being drained, they say i have to go to accident and emergency which will mean a few hours waiting around. which i dont feel like, and they will probably admit me and wait me wait for days again. im sure something better could have been organised they new what would happen. but hey who am i just a patient. sorry about that girls, but it really is crap!
theyre ive let it out can be positive again now!

hope you break yourselves into work gently, i must say im not missing it myself, but i think you just accept what you cant do in the end.
take care buddies.x

1416

Evening all

Sorry to hear you are going slightly mad Bev, and in the winter too which doesn’t help as you can’t get out and do some light pottering in the sun. Being an animal lover, especially cats, I understand how sad you must be feeling, but we don’t want our pets to be in pain do we, so when the time comes you will probably be making the right decision. Funny you saying about your cat holding his paw up, as one of mine (I have 3) has been doing the same thing a lot lately. He doesn’t seem to be in pain because we’ve rubbed it, pressed it etc to look at it and I can’t actually see anything wrong, he doesn’t walk with a limp. You have me a bit worried now so I will keep a close eye on him over the next few days. BTW he is only 6 ½ years old, not overweight and an excellent mouse, shrew, rat, frog, toad, bat and baby bunny catcher!
Lisa hope all goes well when you see the plastic surgeon, I’m very interested to know how you are going to get on, as we are both barking up the same tree this year. Hope work wasn’t too bad for you, how tired you must be after not sleeping.
Hope your day wasn’t too horrible Lily, good job you’ve hidden some flapjacks to fall back on.
Nicky your NY resolution sounds good, we should perhaps all be a bit more kind to ourselves as well as other.
Lorraine hope you have some results re your tummy.
My resolution is that if my internet keeps crashing I am going to go down to the France Telecom/Orange shop and throw it at someone! Does that sound harsh when I should be trying to make something good happen? Apologies for rant, it’s just that I had to drive an hour to change my livebox today so I wasn’t impressed. This is the 4th one since October. I raced out this morning hoping to catch the shop before the lunch time shut down – yes a daily occurrence here and so annoying – and when I got there at 11.30 it was closed. Was I hopping mad. So I had to kill a couple of hours and attempted to get some exercise walking about, if any of you know it (Val I know you do) I walked around the hills and valleys of Sarlat. Only joking, the streets are so hilly I was puffing and panting and an elderly man who looked about 104 came up and asked me if I was ok!
I’m thinking of doing one of those dance DVD’s to make me move about and try to work some muscles that haven’t been active for some time. Can anyone recommend one? I’m impressed with how much weight Vicky Binns (Molly from Corrie) lost with her one.
Now I have to broach a delicate and very embarrassing topic and need some advice. When I was in the bath tonight and washing myself like you do, I felt and saw what looked like a mole in a place that I don’t want a mole (around my lady bits) but when I got out of the bath to have a better look I seem to have a rash of moles, on both sides around the genitalia. OMG what should I do, I am sure they can’t be moles but they’re blackish and bumpy feeling. Should I wait to see if they disappear or make an appointment with the Dr? Anyone had anything like this before or know what they might be? Seeing as the intimacy has got up and left me for now (hopefully to return whilst I am still young enough to enjoy it) I know it is nothing to do with that. Please can you stop me worrying.

Keep warm and don’t slip over ladies in the snow.

xx

1417

Hi,
Lisa I wish I had a pound for evey time one of says we are going to diet ha ha. I got a leaflet from acompany who sign up a group and there are prizes for the top 3 losers (weight!). It was £300 for the top one, not sure if it is a scam but sounded interesting. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow and if you need any extra skin and fat donating, count me in :)You must check how many of the ops he has done before. Do you really think I would make you laugh when you had stitches? Yes of course I would. I remember visiting someone who had their appendix out and said don’t make me laugh. I had no control at all after that and laughed and laughed till I was nearly sick and they told me off. Its like when they say you can’t eat or drink before an op, I become totally obsessed with whatever I can’t do. Hoooray to a meet up.Yes I watched got to dance, boy some of the kids were brilliant and already hooked on Celebrity BB.
Bev good job I did not read that earlier I could gladly have given up some of the little people I had today. Far too excited and talking non-stop and me trying to be serious and get them good grades. Grrrrrr. It was a pretty mental day but it did go fast as so busy and my fav day of the fortnight tomorrow when I sit around almost all day and forget to do everything I planned. I was awake half the night too and when that alarm went off I could have smashed the whole clock. Victor was home and went out and scraped my windscreen and our son’s so at least I didn’t have to do that.I am so sorry to her about your cat, what a good age and hope it can enjoy a little more fun. Nicky hope tomorrow is not too bad going back to work. No ice here at the moment but on the tv there is snow only about an hour away. My resolutions are to lose weight, to stop talking about cancer except to people who want me to and to not deliberately annoy Victor, because I know I can he he. I have given him one to be really lovely and always nice to me. I am currently telling him if he breaks this in any way so don’t think that will last long!The children are finding this very amusing as they are used to the mind games I play on Victor. The best one is telling him he has to cook if I am at work and he isn’t. He can only cook eggs or salad unless I give step by step instructions and 5 times out of ten he drops the whole lot on the floor and vows to give up cooking forever!Apparently it is very tricky! You would never guess he lived alone in Richmond before we met, I guess he ate out every night lol.
Lorraine glad you are enjoying all our nattering and posts. I love finding lots of news on here. Bless your darling Grandaughter, I know just how she will have lifted you. Mine is like - words cannot describe. I think you need to speak to the BCN, the GP, the hospice, the Macmillan nurse or all of them until someone sorts that out. I am outraged that you could be just sitting there, you need a bed booked for you. There is a chance that you will have to have it done again in the future so if you can fight them into something this time it will be set up if you need it again. Get your most ferocious sister to ring for you and complain.I am very upset that they would do that to you.
Peacock Oh gosh the spotty botty I don’t know and I don’t want to leave you without some help. You probably don’t want to show it to someone either.I think you can get varicose veins down there. You do need to check they aren’y polyps. I think maybe they are those moley things that are really of the wart family that everyone gets as they get older. Poor you, as if you needed all this to worry about. Better check it out I guess x
Love
Lily x

1418

hiya All

Bev, really hope you get some more quality time with your cat that’s so sad, i would be awful if anything happened to pooch. Lily talking of pooches how is yours?

Lorraine, they should really sort you out better than that, they should have some continuity of people that suopport you rather than hanging around.

Nicky, good luck for being back at work tomorrow.

Peacock, get those moley things looked like, have no idea what they could be but dont panic, it could be something like Lily said about those spots people get my mam has started getting lots on her face.

I had a panic on all night that what if i have something else going on inside of me and dont know and why do I panic everyday, mam and dad said i drive myself silly and its always nothing but they dont know that do they, they hope and so do i but then i freak just in case as tickly throat again and cahtar which i never have and feel bit bloated but keep burping which isnt indegestion my stomach sort of rumbles then i burp and you know me, read too much on here and web and worry how life can change so fast - but, im trying to change things so that my resolution is to go with the flow and enjoy, like i was when back from hols (maybe I need more of them), cos i know i should enjoy everyday instead of worrying as its a waste, and I know I am really lucky but life seems to have been a trauma for a while and pick self up and something else happens so im almost scared to enjoy self incase bad things happen again.

Twine over, very sorry cos I do geniunely know how lucky i am. Surgeon tomorroe at 4.15pm an hour away so working there all day, hope he isnt two hours late like last time - nurse was suggestion Peacock a expander first to strech my skin and then 3 months later the big op, looks like my holiday might be cancelled.

Diet day 1 went okay, maybe that’s what the rumbling is, went food shopping, after working late on day 1, no booze and albeit minus whatever, went swimming at 9pm, hence the reason im still up now wide awake but making my sarnies for tomorrow!!

Nite all and promise will try to stop my complaining as New Year Resolution. So looking forward to seeing some wedding outfits and listening to the planning, that would be my ideal job and events or wedding organiser, the joys!!!

xxx

1419

hi buddies

still waiting for tummy to be drained,been on to hospital so its up to them now.

lisaf

try to just accept where you are at the moment, i always find the more you try to stop worrying the more you do. so just keep finding nice things to do, and treating yourself well, cos you deserve it, and it will become a habit, and youll find the worrying will have ceased.
im really at a point now when things just go over my head. years back i was a terrible worrier, but thankfully i worked on that one. but i probably have a few years ahead of you in age, not to say i dont get scared at times, but with a little help from our friends, we get through. x

lily
hope you not going to stop giving yourself little treats? thats what makes it all worthwhile.

nicky, soulgirl, peacock, bevvy
hope your all ok

x

1420

Hi,
Lisa we must start trying to get more sleep. Even I thought you were up late and I have insomnia. So your first blip of the year and its a big one. I think I can safely reassure you that a tickly throat and catarrh is a normal annoying cold symptom and not breast cancer. What are you like? I am more worried about your heart if you pile this much pressure on buddy :)I told you my stomach is not what it was either,and have had a lot of acid after the Christmas food and chocolate really gets me if I eat it in the evening. I guess chemo kills off good things too. You could try one of those activia yoghurts or drinks that put good bacteria back in (or so they claim). So have you got anything planned for this year yet. You need something else to divert you. Maybe some good books to read and nod off reading. Have you ever read Adrian Mole diaries, they are so funny you would love them I’m sure? How did it go with the surgeon or is tomorrow I am not sure now? Lots of luck and it is probably thinking about that which started your flap off. Well done for the first day of the diet. I was average! My dog is fighting fit so I guess hit was chronic hepatitis and not cancer. He hates the postman!Right holding you to that new year’s resolution, fix that smile on :slight_smile:

Lorraine I hope you hear something in the next day or two about draining the ascites. I keep thinking about that old saying about throwing the baby out with the bath water, your fault for calling it the baby!Seriously I am sorry to hear that they are not on the toes looking after you and why do we always go quietest when we are ill? Take the person’s name each time then they worry if they don’t follow it up. I am exactly the same and afterwards wonder why I put up with something.Don’t worry about me because little treats are on the menu it is just the big treats I am trying to avoid, with little success. We are all hoping for a ton of snow to shut down all the snows but will be fed up if it is just enough to make travelling really hard. MD had an interview at a nursery today and thought it went well. Trouble is you never know who you are up against and sometimes it already has someone’s name on it. She would really like this one as it means little chap does not have to go to breakfast or after school club in his first year. I am in a silly giggly mood again and Victor could be in for trouble again tonight! ED was talking to me about the hen party. I was being invited to a quieter older person’s one but got so excited that I am now going to the young one in Southampton hooray. Anyway ED was trying to prepare me for all the rude stuff that might go on (she thinks I would be shocked, what a great job I do of being an upstanding role model lol) and saying if you come Mum there may be strippers. Dare I tell her I was hoping there might be! So she said well one thing is my friend is getting a 6 foot blow up willy to take on the night with us. She then said it would be as tall as, like Dad. I thought she said it would be like Dad’s and fell about laughing. I then told her and she was laughing too and then Victor’s face!! Well I could roll off the chair thinking about it even now. An absolute picture! They want us all to wear tutus so if anyone knows where to but an extra large one I would be eternally grateful
Love
Lily x