Darling buddies from May - moving on

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Recovering from treatment
1421

hiya, thanks lorraine. Hope you get drained soon, sounds painfull.

has everyone got snow then? we have loads of black ice and drove to carlisle today and was inches deep, wierd how can be so different so close by. Hope some of us are enjoying being back at work.

Well got the go ahead from the plastic surgeon today, wasnt very chatty again but didnt go into any detail but said could do it as long as I realise that one recon is a major op but two at same time is really a big deal. Cos it is so big and you are under so long and kept flat afterwards chance of blood clotting, chest infections and mortality, eh!!! So the idea would be for the major op that they would also need to cut some bone of each side of my rib so they have space to reconnect arteries, all sounds very scary and he was quite wierd, no huge amounts of info nothing about my scars etc.

Bit im still to decide on is, the first stage is to have a tissue expander put in my masectomy side, cut open current scar insert it and then expand it over around 3 months to stretch the skin i already have which will reduce the amount of skin from my tummy being used so will look better. however i think while this is being expanded i am going to look so lopsided, im around a g cup so that with nothing would look bad, wouldnt be able to wear a prothesis with it but maybe a softie, last time i had a softi lasted two days as was round my neck. But he said he could do this as soon as back from Florida as go 1st May for 2 weeks and need a hols. Then cos I said about BRCA gene, he said he could bring it forward and do it in around 5-6 weeks, arrrgghh, dont know what to do, worried that i will be out of action for hols and miserable being so lopsided and not able to swim etc; and what if recovery is longer than 3 weeks, i wasnt great 3 weeks after masectomy.

So do i go for it now, am i being jsut a baby putting it off or do i spend the time sorting work out, loosing my weight, getting fitter and then come back after hols raring to go. know im going to be out of action for around 3/4 months after main operation so need a holiday but do i risk delaying removal of boob ?? MRI was about 8 months ago and will get another early this year and mamo soon.

Decisions decisons eh, did ponder on the option of going flat and have small prothesis, but will it be much different from now, i worry about going swimming as so obvious, worry when go away with friends as I have toshare beds etc. shower etc, always have to hold my top when bend over, always wear scarfs, tops always have to be very high as prothesis comes so high as does scar - so its not just vanity but scared i might not come through it or i could waste a year doing this for the thing to come back…

phew, that’s off my chest so to speak, going to ring nurse tomorrow from work.

Well get me, turned down a lovely huge crispy cake with smarties on top… was hard, especially could have butched a chilled wine tonight.

Well off to do some more work before tomorrow
xxxx

hope everyone okay

1422

oops posted at same time, havent read yours yet - always up late still working lol x

1423

p.s. Lily, defo have a smile on my face laughing so much about the hen night, poor Victor, ha ha. Tu tu you must be joking!!! Pink cowboy hat, afro wig, 60’s dress, vampire, police woman, done plenty dressing up in my time (only for nights out mind!!!).
x

1424

Hi Lis,
that sounds like a hell of a lot of info to taek in. Do they have bra meetings like down here, where you can go and look at women who kindly volunteer to show off their scars and recon to give you a better idea? I thought it was a great idea. The big op sounds bad but then to you it will be a blink of the eye no matter how long you are in there, short or long time. Have you asked how much benefit you will get from this op as you have the gene? That could be the stat to make you think it is worth going through it. It sounds like you would be drugged up for quite a few days with the ribs and all that. Poor you it is tricky to decide. I think you should be careful about losing too much weight as a lady I know lost weight when she was ok and then did not have much skin, etc for the mastectomy.Would you still want to be a G as that is quite a lot of weight on the scar?Can you decide what size you end up with? Tricky decision about when to have the op too as some people take longer than others to heal. Why not do anew post and ask for advice from people who have already had it done , whather you would be likely to be up to flying. Also I think your insurance would go caput as you would have to declare it and a bit risky to take chances that soon after an op without any.I renewed my insurance today and ok now it is over 12 months since dx and no ops recently, they asked me that directly. It is £70 for a year unlimited trips and covers absolutely anything.
Night night
Lily x

1425

Thanks Lily, going to start new post but i know its a wierd one with me. The benefits is that i will be having another masectomy as part of the operation, if i didnt have the operation best bet would still be a masectomy anyhow so my thinking is if im knocked out then just do it, hey, nearly fell off the sofa, i could loose around 4 stone easy and still have enough stomach fat always have a huge pot! He said they would decide size on day but talking a c or d cup, wow havent been that size for years and it would be ideal - think Ive made my mind up. Thanks for tips re insurance, never thought about that, going to write some questions for nurse and she said she is going to arrange for me to go over and meet someone who has had it done.

Nite and dont be rocking that bed laughing at poor Victor!!!

1426

Hi ladies
Lorraine - I hope they got your sorted at hospital and that you are more comfortable. Can you arrange for a regular appointment if they know this is going to happen again just so you don’t have to wait around? I think it’s terrible the way they are expecting you to sort it out by going to A & E, maybe see if your BCN can sort out something for you? Big hugs as ever and hope you are responding to the chemo as well.
Lisa - what decisions you have to make as well. But good ole Lily is at hand with her late night clinic! Sounds all very good advice to me and certainly check out the whole insurance/flying stuff before you decide what to do. Maybe having a lovely holiday before and coming back relaxed would be a good way round? Let us know how you get on with making up your mind - either way sounds like a big op (and I’m not referring to the size of your boobs either!) but something that will really allow you to move on with your life - good for you.
Lily - what are you like? I’ll warn the good people of Southampton to watch out for the willy posse! Hope you weren’t keeping Victor up last night - so to speak :wink: Have you been snowed in? We have - again - another 6 - 8 inches overnight. No work for me, which I would have gone in for as I’m not paid if I’m not there. Will go for a nice long walk in the snow with ED who’s not at work today and YD is working in local pub so can walk there. OH has got the train - 1 stop but can’t drive to work as roads are so bad.
To everyone else hope things are OK where you all are and you are all OK.
Take care from a very snowy Basingstoke (again!)
Nicky x

1427

Thanks for advice too nicky!
Glad you are snowed in.

We have snow at last but things grind to a halt here, got to work but not the office planning too as really bad, stopping now but want to make sure i get home, not having a sleepover at work.

Hope everyone has a good day and a nice walk in the snow if you can xx

1428

hi buddies

well girlies, youve done it again, brought a smile through the tears. i was lying in bed feeling sorry for myself and couldnt help but chuckle at your posts.
im really struggling at moment dont know how i will get through till friday, when they admit me. but they think its best then so tummy doesnt have chance to fill again.
cant stay long, enjoy the snow. haa ha. x

1429

Thinking of your Lorraine - hope you get sorted Friday, try and rest and do nothing, must be awful. Take care and dont laugh at us too much if it hurts xxx

1430

hi
im now going in tommorrow, so that may helpx

1431

Hi Lorraine, Hope you get on okay tomorrow. Will the snow make your journey difficult? Love Val

1432

Evening all

Hope they get you sorted tomorrow Lorraine and that you don’t have to stay in for too long, before you know it you’ll be out, that is providing the snow doesn’t keep the hospital doors closed! Hope they make you comfy again so you will be able to see your snowy feet when you look down. Do you have far to go, if so, have a safe journey.

Wow you lot, all that snow! Nicky I’ve been seeing Basingstoke on the news and it looks so… white! He he he, there’s me laughing for a change your weather is worse than mine. You watch, I’ll be laughing on the other side of my page when our snow arrives, it’s bitterly cold here and a few snow flurries today which didn’t settle, just too cold I think. At least you got an extra day off work to enjoy some time with your ED despite not being paid which is annoying as it wasn’t your fault.

It sounds as though you did quite well with your insurance Lily, has your school been open with all the snowy weather, it seems so many have had to close. Hope you don’t have to do playground duties if it is operating.

Bev how are you getting on with the cold weather, how is your foot?

Lisa, what a lot to think about for you! Coming from one large lady to another (I’m an EE/F cup) I totally understand what it is like to have one mx flattish side and one huge boob flapping about (excuse the way I put it, I’m sure you understand my gist). It is a long operation for you, how long have they said? But as Lily says, once you are asleep you will wake up all those hours later thinking you’ve just nodded off. These days the after care from big operations is usually excellent. Here in France, even if you’ve only been under for a couple of hours they give an injection, I think it is vit K to try to prevent blood clots, do they offer that in the UK too, maybe you could ask? Will the bone cutting cause you to have any long term pain? I think the problem with wearing a softi is that you need to wear a bra to keep it in place, although I nappy pin mine in place on a vest top as I am unable to wear a bra still, so will you be too sore to wear a bra? Your recon sounds like a lot to think about, how soon do you have to tell them what you have decided?

I had my swine flu jab today, so far so good. Neck seems better but have been getting a pain in my head, I don’t like to call it a headache cos it isn’t really, I haven’t needed to take any tablets and it does seem to disappear eventually, probably tiredness. As for blobby moles, they are still there but not causing any discomfort so will watch and wait for a few more days.
Scottishlass and Soulgirl and Julia hope you are all keeping warm and cosy. Hugs to Lorraine for tomorrow

1433

Hi,
brrr I have 3 cardigans on and the heating on full blast. I think I could do with a hot flush or two. Where are they when you could appreciate one? Well Victor lept back into bed at 4.45 am and said too much snow I’m not going into London and had the day off. Well I was proper fed up when I got no 6.30 phone call and realised I had to get through the snow to school. Crept along as I was the first car out our road and some menace came the other way at the very worst bit and made me do a hill start on a bend. Got to school and within 40 minutes they wanted to close it again. So had to see all the kids off, eat all the food they had started cooking (which I declined)and then crawl all the way back home again. Just looked online and it is open tomorrow and our road is a skating rink tonight. So not looking forward to that and hoping for a big drop tonight. Victor has given himself another day off work and I am green with envy. Think I’ll make him cook dinner again tomorrow :slight_smile: YD got stuck near us and Victor walked to dig her out with a spade and fell over. It is one of those dodgy ones where the hand meets the wrist that they like to check but no chance of us going anywhere and it is not worse so assuming it is ok.He hates Big brother and has gone to bed in preference. The dog is doing his best to eat all the snow but is failing to keep up with the hourly fall out the sky and is now knackered on the sofa from the unexpected physical exercise! It reminds me of when he was a puppy and he used to try to eat every daddy longlegs he saw move and had them hanging out his mouth yuk. He would be great on celebrity in the jungle eating contests lol.
Lisa I agree if you have to have one then get it all done in one go. The danger of having one done at a time is that the fear factor might be worse knowing what is coming. At least this time you can go in, in happy (well happyish)ignorance and then every day will get better.I don’t think having the expander put in would be too bad, less than the mx you have already had. I have not had a mx so not really in the loop to help you on this decision.Hope you get some good advice from someone on here.I thought there might be some extra chance of a blood clot after a long op and then flying, maybe check it out or perhaps they give you tablets? Don’t mean to worry you more but don’t want you to have something else wrong either. I have one C and one D, do you want me to check which I like best ha ha.
Nicky hello snow queen, have you been doing a snow dance again? Looks bleak your way again, as you say.Have you all been very bad because it seems to be picking on Basingstoke? About 3 inches of snow here so right over my shoes and wet feet yuk.Send enough to me to give me a snow day.I have ordered Tesco shopping so they can worry about getting in and out the road at the weekend. Be careful on the ice as a slip would not be good.How long before YD goes back?
Lorraine well glad we are all cheering you up and lots of luck for tomorrow. Is it easier to put up with this time because you know the relief it will bring? I hope so, wouldn’t like to think of you scared. Hope you can still get through with the snow and feel much more comfy soon. Not long till Monday and hoping those little bombs will be working their magic quickly for you. make sure you have the cream for your hands and feet ready and whatever you liked to eat or drink when you had public poisoning before. I can recommend meringues, thousands of them :slight_smile: Still cannot believe I have not put myself off them for ever after those meringue months.Keep looking at your little girly on your phone and she will help pull you through this. Just keep her little face in your mind and know why you are prepared to put up with whatever they do. Good luck buddy and wishing you peace and comfort from this next procedure x x
Peacock still not sure what else to say about the dreaded spots. What was the thing Debs had in that area, could it be similar? I know it was ok but cannot recall what it was. The insurance is if I want Bc cover but can go free if I exclude that condition. Hmmm sounds a good opportunity as I will be very close to one of the top Bc hospitals in the world. Not that I want to have anything to need looking at. I hope you are ok with the swine flu jab. I had a stiff arm some days and sore others and then a stiff shoulder on day 4 and then back to normal but could not sleep on that arm for a few days. Nice to know it is done. have they said you have to have 2 jabs? I am not having the second as read people can be very poorly sometimes and mercury in the dose. Does anyone know if you have a CT scan of the head do you have a needle in and contrast? Someone at work asked me and I am not sure at all as not for cancer.
Well better get off to sleep as it seems I am off to work. Drat
Love
Lily x

1434

hiya all

Well hope everyone isnt suffering too much with the snow - not to bad here but sounds like some of you have it quite bad.

Lorraine good luck for tomorrow, what tablets do you start on Monday, must be really nervous but fingers crossed you dont have too many side effects. Thinking of yo xx

Sorry cant go back and read other posts and brain frazzles today.

Val, Julie etc. hope you all arent too snowed in.

Lily - poor Victor. hope your skating rink gets some more snow - lots of accidents here cos of ice and not enough snow. in terms of CAT scan i have a feeling its not a needle and contrast, think that might just be MRI.

Nicky you heading for another day off seems really bad where you are?

PEacock - operation would be 10 ish hours, ouch, its the blood clots etc that scared me, but like you say nightmare, i did wear a softie but went to normal protehsis after 3 weeks as was so paranoid about being lopsided etc. My dad, no laughing even tried to make some brace type think that clipped on bottom of bra and on jeans to try and weight it down hee hee.

Well thanks Lily for tip re clotting when flying never thought of that. had a talk to nurse who said until day wont know whether diep or tram flap and im unsure of the scar bits and both said different, however, she also said i would need to get it inflated weekly to stretch the skin, dont know myself where it sits when in so not much skin there to stretch let me tell you, also said could be more painful cos had rads as already quite uncomfie , so im not wussing out but have decided to go on my hols on 30th April for two weeks in Florida and then have expander op when i get back, heal and inflate, then biggie, really nervous as i was off work almost 5 weeks for masectomy and i can remember how bad i felt about lifting arm and moving around - ouch. cos with a softie i wouldnt be able to go swimming and no point in being on hols for me if cant its my daily pleasure. So that’s it agreed and going for the whole hog, worry is that everything will be in newcastle all the check ups weekly inflations etc. which is around 2.5 hours drive, think i will look into train for some of it as dont want my dad taking holidays to go up there every week.

Well night all and here’s to a snowy but safe rest of week xxx

1435

p.s. positive Lisa is here though, just hiding a little. Day 3 of diet went okay and still no wine even though I have bottle chilled, not quite sure i will brave 9pm swimming tomorrow thought, bit chilly xxxx

1436

Hi Lisa - good for you on all counts. Enjoy the holiday when it comes (jealous or what?) and be ready for the procedures and op later in the year. You are sounding very positive and that’s great - keep it up - and the diet!
Lorraine - sorry you are back in hospital today but glad they are sorting the fluid out - I hope this can be kept in check now as it sounds really uncomfortable and must be getting you down. Do you start the chemo on Monday? I wasn’t sure and thought you may have begun them already. Good luck with everything and I hope that you are feeling better soon.
Peacock - I forgot about your ‘berries’ as Debs (lovely Debincornwall) called hers. From what I remember her one dropped off with no treatment needed but I don’t think she knew what it was either. If you are getting more or maybe any pain, discomfort you could get them checked out? Not the easiest option to consider either, it’s bad enough having a smear done! I hope the weather doesn’t change too dramatically for you. It’s really cold her where I am, -8 C last night! And it doesn’t look like the snow will clear for a while. YD is due to fly back on Sunday so we will have to wait and see how Heathrow is and also CDG, she could be with us for a bit longer still!
Bev - hope you are OK and getting out and about if you need to. Be very careful if the weather is bad where you are, I slipped over 3 times yesterday - not good at all but I suppose the bisphosphonates I’m on are doing their job!
We are snowed in again and can’t see it clearing for some time, so no work for me, OH attempting the train again but yesterday the advice was not to go as they couldn’t guarantee a train home! Everyone has gone in to panic mode for food shopping so the local stores were a bit bare yesterday. OH, ED and I had a trek round the village and bought a few bits we needed, a bigger stock up may need us using our sledge for carrying stuff! At least the remainder of our oil supply arrived last week so we should be OK for a while yet and not freeze.
Hope the ‘lovely’ weather is not causing too many problems for all of you and you can all get to appointments, work (sorry Lily) and to any shops you need to.
Shivers from a very cold Basingstoke!
Nicky xx

1437

Hi All,

Sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time Lorraine and hoping you will be made more comfortable very soon and good luck for Monday. You are a tough cookie and will deal with all of this horror and there will be light at the end of the tunnel and you will enjoy being with your grandaughter. Thinking of you.

Nicky thanks for all the kind words re the poor old cat. He is still with us and I am applying aloe vera direct from the plant on his leg where it has become sore and that does seem to make it look less angry. At the present time he is still enjoying his food (freshly cooked fish!) and is happy when sitting on our laps but in reality I know it will only be for a week or so.

We too have had a lot of snow so I am certainly not venturing out with my crutch for support. (by that I mean a stick Lily I know how your mind works!!) I am now doing my physio exercises but am amazed how stiff the joint is it just seems to lock and that is it. Hoping another weeks time that will be better.

Lisa oh my god what a lot to have to take in and think about. I think you have made the right decision in having your holiday first and then coming back from that refreshed and ready for action. Wishing you all the best with your decision. Your dear old dad sounds a sweetie trying to invent some equipment for you. Regarding the fear of blood clots after an op they will give you an injection to counteract that and probably medication afterwards for a while to protect against it. When I had my op in Tenerife they injected me in the tummy and then I had to continue with these injections for 15 days after surgery. Good job I have a good supply of blubber that I used. Didn’t like doing it but it didn’t particularly hurt.

Peacock I think you should get the moles checked out as it seems odd they have appeard so suddenly. It is probably quite harmless but if you don’t understand what the problem is I think it is best to have it checked. Good luck.

Lily well you sound as it you are certainly going to be having some fun come the hen night nudge nudge wink wink!! I loved your new years resolutions and am in complete agreement. Lose weight and try not to talk about cancer!! but that is so hard when every newspaper seems to have an article relating to cancer on a daily basis as does the main news. Don’t get me wrong I am pleased there is so much awareness but it would be nice not to be reminded of it every day. I am also going to try to do a good deed for someone on a daily basis even if it is a tiny little thing like a compliment or a smile. So I shall start here and thank all of you for being such fun in the face of adversity. you are all strong ladies and I am looking forward to travelling through 2010 with you all and hearing about the good things we can all experience in life along with supporting each other through the tough times.

love Bev xx

1438

Hi,
well I am hoping our buddy is tucked up in a hospital bed tonight with the horrid deed done so that she is deflating by the minute and feeling more comfy again.Big hugs Lorraine x
Bev oh that sounds so sad about your cat, I am so sorry. How did I get such a reputation!!!I would try harder but it won’t last so I will just have another giggle about that too.I will simply say Bev be like Michael Jackson and hang on to your crutch in this icey weather ha ha :)I don’t like the sound of those injections, the ones in the tummy always sound daunting to me despite people saying they were ok. I have managed to stop telling anyone who doesn’t already know but think I might still talk to ED a bit too much about it sometimes still and she is a worrier so she keeps asking me. What anice resolution to be nice. We will all know who to turn to if we are feeling low. Keep rotating that ankle x.
Nicky yes I am jealous of her trip too but working on Victor for a trip of my own hopefully. I must be getting slow (ok slower) as it took me a while to decipher CDG. Be very careful slipping over, you better hold your crutch too :slight_smile: It sounds very exciting being snowed in but I know some aspects of it will be a pain. Hopefully you have not got an appointment to get to in the next week.Wrap up warm x.
Well Lisa if you had gone swimming in this i would have thought you were bonkers. I have so many woollies on today and an extra heater in my room as well as the central hetaing on. Would never have coped with this last year. I had a needle and contrast for my CT scan but not sure if you need it for your head. I am laughing and laughing at your Dad and his gadget, that is so sweet but absolutely hilarious. I will tell my mx buddies about that and I know they will love the story. What colour were your booby braces :)I will of course tell Victor that it your blooming fault when I start shaking the bed again thinking of you with that on and it pinging up and hitting Simon on the nose!! I think the holiday first is a great plan but didn’t want to influence you too much by all saying do that in case you went with the other decision. You better check whether you need to take care not to burn/tan the bits. Will work be ok with time off for appointments every week? Good old Dad wanting to take you. That is a long trip.
Well I had a bad start to the day. We have a school policy that teachers get a phone call really early just after 6am when the school is closed. So cursed like mad, got up, had a really scary journey and trouble getting out my road. Guess what I was the only one there.I have to admit I nearly boo hoo’d when i phoned to check as my friend was so sweet. Had a scarier journey home and then just sat about as cheesed off. When i picked the telephone up it was beeping and my contact had rung yesterday evening and just left a message on 1571on the house phone. No-one used the phone so we had no idea. I feel like saying well I came in yesterday so not doing tomorrow! Did you have a laugh at Jonas and Sav with his record playing non-stop? Hilarious.
Take care and x x x Lorraine
Lily x

1439

Hope its all going okay for you today Lorraine - hope the belly is deflating and you feel more comfie and ready for Monday.

Bev - oh god think of venturing out with your crutch - sounds dangerous.

Lily - glad you found my dad’s job funny, they were boring white and fefo didnt work, worse thing was he was fashioning it with the staff in teh sewing department of the hospital - the shame!!! Every one knows me at hospital as Pat’s daughter so no secrets there!!! lol!! No wonder you were fed up othing worse than making a crap journey to find out no-one in, poor you. Watched B.B. but feel asleep 10mins in as watched in bed - good night sleep for a change

Well its true, it was -10 and I went swimming at 9pm-9.45pm brrrrhh there was only 5 people in the pool but if my mate hadnt been going probably would have wimped out - going again tonight, determined this time and boy am i ready for a lie in tomorrow.

Anyone watching dancing on ice tonight? Cant wait, love this type of show, easy watching!!! Might even divulge in a treat of 1 glass of wine tonight and a fudge - sad eh but been soooo good all wek better loose weight!!

Hope everyone else okay, Nicky enjoying being off work and peacock hope you have your moles looked at just for peace of mind. Val Julie that you arent snowed in and anyone else.

Better go now, think ive had too much sleep have had floaters for ages but left eye all blury - need to wake up!!

1440

Hi all from a cold but sunny France, brrr it’s chilly here, the wind has icicles in it! Hope you are all getting on with life ok despite the snow, poor Nicky it sounds like you’ve had it the worst. I doubt your D has managed to fly?

Lorraine I hope too you are feeling much more comfortable.

Lily hope you don’t run out of your supply of choccies and hidden treats. It sounds like you really a dicing with death taking your car out of your road and what bloody c… for going in and no one else being there, how annoying.

Bev glad that puss is still happy and eating, that is always what I go on when trying to tell if an animal is really suffering, if they won’t eat then they’re not happy.

Lisa your dad’s invention made me laugh. I’ve tried a few home made supports myself but nothing as elaborate as that one. I think you are right to take the holiday because you don’t know how long you might be unable to go. Well done for going swimming, anything other than steaming hot water has no appeal for me.

I’m feeling sorry for myself, my swine flu arm is really painful, it itched like mad at first now the area where the injection was is just throbbing. I won’t have to have another one, TG. I’ve managed 4 evenings without alcohol, tried some alcohol free last night and it was disgusting. Anyway, its a treat now over the weekend. Have been a little bit more active, despite being freezing I’ve taken the dog for a brisk walk and today was nice with the sunshine. Collected some logs for the fire and put them in my car to dry off, don’t worry it’s an old banger and they’re only in the boot. My PS rang me yesterday and said the options for my recon can be DIEP or TRAM, but I must have this other CT done for my lungs before they can go ahead in case it has metasised! Wow, bit of a shock when he said that as I thought I had been given the all clear regarding my coughing. Have booked the lung CT for end of March. On the plus side I had my heart check yesterday and my heart is good, so the Doc told me. Must be all that red wine I drink!

Am looking forward to Dancing on Ice this weekend, I love it! Take care, lots of hugs Lorraine xxx