As you have been reading our thread you will know that we can all relate to the “Powerless” syndrome and find it very difficult.
The emotional and psycological turmoil just saps you. However, it does get better once you have the facts and a plan. You will get
loads of support and invaluable advice from our little group. In spite of everything, we do try to have a few giggles. So tell all - rant, rave,
cry and laugh with us and you will be ok.
You are turning into a shopaholic. What’s more - you are beating me hands down in the Christmas shopping stakes!!!
I am in panic mode now. Just checked and at the time of typing this it is: 20 sleeps: 2 hours : 24 minutes: 56 seconds …
and still counting, to Christmas
Just spent ages writing my message only for it to disappear into a black hole!
Oh, flip!
Anyway what I was saying, was that you are all so oganised that you have shamed me into getting out and doing some Christmas shopping later this week. It will be my first solo outing since my operation but I don’t think I have forgotten how to drive!
I have spent most of the day at home with my 4 year old grandaughter, Georgina. She is a little treasure but very active so I am now ‘cream crackered’.
Dyzee - have you heard from your husband. I expect he hates being away from you at this time but 14th will come around quickly. I hope your onc goes ok tomorrow (or went well if you are reading this after your appointment!). I always go to my appts with a written list of questions and write the answers down whilst I am there so that I don’t forget anything. My first chemo session will be next Thurs 13th so will probably be losing my hair nicely for Christmas!
Maddy - I envy you your first day back at work, although I am sure it was tiring for you. I waited a while for my hormone status but was told that this is the most complex test and can take 6/7 weeks before results are know sometimes. Leicester is too far for me to invite you to pop in for a cuppa but never mind.
Welcome Julie - glad you have joined because until now I was feeling like the new girl because I gatecrashed this band of lovely ladies just a short time ago! I am sorry to hear you are in the waiting game. It is still fresh in my mind from just a few weeks ago. Try not to let it get to you too much as you don’t yet know what you are dealing with. I am a firm believer in not worrying about anything until you really know what the problem is and at that time you are dealing with facts which are much easier to rationalise.
Well, another hot flush is coming on with avengence so my time to say bye, bye for today so that I can go and stick my head in the freezer!.
Sorry for shouting - I’M A GRANDMA - not too sure about being married to a grandpa though - makes me feel old!
Benjamin Harry was born (two days late) at 1.25am December 5th,2007 and weighed in at 9lb 1oz ! OUCH !!!
How the heck did she manage that ? She’s only 8stone wet through. Mother and baby both said to be doing well - the new father is so proud of what she’s done - she only had one injection - started yesterday afternoon after a routine visit to the midwife where they were advised to have vigorous sex (not in front of the children !*) - unfortunately she started having contractions shortly after the visit so they didn’t get a chance to take up that option.
She rang me at 7.30 yesterday evening to say she was getting contractions about 5minutes apart but wasn’t going to hospital for a while. At 10.15 she was in hospital, 4cms dilated. The rest is history.
I’ve spent the night laughing and crying - I’m so proud of her and so happy that she appears to have had such an ‘easy’ time but I’ve also run through Benjamin’s future life and seen all the pitfalls and I’m terrified for them all.
I can’t wait to hug my daughter, and her husband, and I would love to be there with them but we’re not sure how long she’ll be in hospital and I don’t think we’ll be able to get down until tomorrow evening - there’s also the worry that my husband’s office is full of flu germs at the moment and we don’t want to pass that on! But if she rings and wants me there I will definitely go.
I’m sure that the proud father, and the rest of his lovely family, will be taking lots of photos and sending them via email.
Sorry for this early morning call - couldn’t wait to share the news - apologies to Louise and Julie for ranting on more than usual
Dearest Grandma Maddy
How wonderful - a GRANDSON. I can’t tell you how excited I am for you and your family. I can tell that you are just bursting with love and pride.
Please give your daughter, her husband and Benjamin Harry (lovely name) my love and big hugs.
Maddy, you have made my day, it’s just fantastic for you to share your joy with us. What a Christmas you are going to have. You will finally see the little one in your beautiful cot. I am typing this with tears rolling down my face. I am sooooooooo happy and excited for you my love.
Congratulations Maddy. I can remember becoming a 'Nanny: for the first time and there is no feeling like it. Grandchildren bring such joy into the family - enjoy!
Maddy WOW that is fantastic, many, many congrats, it is great to have some good news. Wishing mum and baby well, you will be so excited to see him. My babies were both 9-pounders so I am ouch-ing in sympathy here
I have just read the message I wrote yesterday evening and decided it must have been too late.
Apologies to Maddy - of course the test that takes 6/7 weeks is HER2 not Hormone!
Apologies to Julie and Louise - said welcome to Julie and it should have been Louise!
If I am this much of a lame-braid already what will I be like after chemo!!
Just got back from seeing the onc. Chemo starts 19th December (HoHoHo- Merry Christmas). This will be followed by Radiotherapy, Tamoxifen and Arimidex.
Well, I wanted a plan and now I have it. (Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh). Not to worry, I’m in good company, you have all either been through, going through or going to go through the same thing.
Lousie - I do miss my hubby loads. It is very difficult for him, especially this trip.
Grandma Maddy - Have you seen any photo’s yet?
Wendy - Looks like we will be doing Chemo together.
Julie - How are you?
Gill - How are you?
Dilys - How did your rads go today? Have you finished that shopping yet? Did you manage to get the one’s you needed for the weekend?
It is Abbie’s birthday soon, I bet she is getting excited!
Well, I am off to spend some money now. Retail therapy girls, just what I need.
Maddy - huge congratulations! How lovely for you. Grandchildren are a joy, and you must be so proud. Bet you are looking forward to seeing your daughter and Benjamin (nice name too).
Louise - a big welcome to you. Good luck for Friday. We all know what it is like and will be here for you. And don’t dread rads! They are a doddle, honestly.
Dyzee - tee hee. Went straight from rads this morning and did some MORE shopping. I have finally completed my brother’s family, so just have the wrapping to do for this coming weekend. Phew! And great that you have a plan now. Sounds just like me. Which chemo are you having? And how many cycles? I’ll be here for you all the way through.
Well done with your shopping. So pleased you managed to get them all for your brothers family - and with time to spare, you are a star.
How did the rads go today and how are you feeling?
I am having Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide - 6 cycles. Thank you for being there my love - as always. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.
Dyzee, I know it is scary but as you say, you have a plan. I was thinking about you today. I am glad OH will be back with you before chemo. I agree, Christmas may be a little…different…this year. It is great that you can get support here, what a lovely bunch of ladies you all sound.
Dilys, Thanks for the reassurance re rads. Haven’t you done loads of shopping? Mind you, it sounds as if you have a lot of people to buy for, you should be an old Scrooge like me! I am not really, most of the kids are grown up (my two live with us and OH’s kids all get money). We have a little stepgrandaughter of 2 and my stepdaughter is about to have her first child, due New Year’s Eve, so we are all excited.
Wendy, Dont worry about the name mix-up, it is the thought that counts and I appreciate your welcome. I am sure there is lots to think about before the chemo, I am more or less ready for Christmas and have written all my cards etc, I usually put a little note in withe the “once a year” contact people but not this time, not until I know what I am dealing with.
Maddy, How many hours are you back at work? We look forward to hearing all about Benjamin when you can see him.
It’s 4 in the morning and I’m having one of those dreadful sleepness nights. AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!
Dilys, Due to lack of sleep, I am seriously thinking about writing out more Christmas cards! May even wrap some presents.
The postman/parcelman has been busy delivering all kinds so I need to get cracking!! I may even catch you up (hehe).
Hope your rads go well today.
Wendy, What date does your chemo start and what is it you are having? Glad you are getting to grips with your Christmas shopping
Your little Georgina sounds lovely. Dilys also has two lovely grandaughters. Have you bought any wigs yet? I haven’t. By the way, someone was telling me that you can get VAT relief on wigs if you have BC. Appararantly you have to fill a form in.
Louise, Not long until you get your results, Things will be much, much better for you when you have all of the information. We will all be here for you on Friday waiting for you to come back and tell us what is happening and to give you love and support. And yes, Christmas will be different this year, we are still having it at our house, Mam and Dad are going to be there and everyone will do a their bit. I want it to be as normal it possible. Let’s hope it will be.
Grandma Maddy, How’s your daughter and Benjamin and not forgetting Daddy? Do you have any pictures yet?
Julie, How are you hon. Come back soon.
JillyB, Still waiting and wondering about you.
I spoke to Gill yesterday, she is feeling a little better and sounding more positive.
Well I’m back at the hospital with Lizzie at 9.30 in the morning (she has really bad psoriasis and is having treatment). So better try and get some sleep. If not it’s cards and presents.
I had psoriasis for 20 odd years. Started in late teens. I really sympathise. It finally went after I was started on tamoxifen and 20mg of Citalopram a day ( mild anti depressant). Assuming it was the anti depressant and not the Tam which cleared it, it might be worth trying.
19th December?? What a lovely Xmas present. As my husband would say " Ho, bl**dy ho!!!"
So sorry to hear you have had a bad night, I hope you are not too weary today and manage to stay awake!
I start my chemo on Thursday 13th. I am having FEC , 6-8 sessions, 3 weeks apart. I have been reading the “having treatment - chemo” string and apart from the certain side effects there seem to be a whole range of others that are specific to individuals so I guess you and I will just have to wait and see whether we are amongst the lucky ones who seem to get away with feeling relatively ok between treatments. It will be good to have someone to compare notes with though.
I have not bought a wig yet and, to be honest, am not sure that I will because I am not really a wig person. For that matter I am not a hat person either! I have ordered some hats and scarves from Headcovers.com so will let you know what they are like when they arrive.
You are right about the vat thing. You can reclaim it on bra’s as well. Marks and Spencers keep the forms in store so that you can claim the money back straight away, mind you their range of bra’s is not that good. They are pretty but didn’t seem that practical in terms of support. I bought mine in House of Frazer - expensive but very comfortable.
I hope everyone else is ok today.
Louise, not long to wait now, please do let us know how you get on because, as Dyzee says, we would like to offer support (you know, kindred spirits and all that!)
Well, I am off to the shops today with my Mum. She is 82 and usually slows me down but we will probably be a good match for each other today!
Sorry about your sleepless night Dyzee, and hope you are ok this morning. I have had my fair share of those over this journey! And goo luck with Lizzie today. Hope she gets some positive news. I read on another thread that someone taking tamoxifen found their psoriasis cleared up - may be it was you Debbie? My (male) friend has been going three times a week for light treatment for a few months now. It seems to be helping quite a lot, but would be very awkward if Lizzie is working. And thanks for news of Gill. Tell her she will be welcome back on here.
Wendy - since the weather got cold and I am wearing a big coat and a scarf I have moreorless given up wearing my wig. The coat pushes it up at the back and I get anxious in the wind. So unless it is a party or something I am happily in my turbans. This weather half the world seems to be wearing a hat or smething which hides their hair so it doesn’t feel so odd. And good luck with the start of chemo. It is definitely do-able, honestly.
Eight rads down this morning and seven to go. I was in and out early again today. No problems with it so far, thank god. Dyzee - back to wrapping presnts and the last few cards this afternoon! And love to your second mum.
Thanks for all you messages of support, it is really appreciated. This experience can only be likened to a roller coaster ride one minute up and another down. Dyzee has been a tower of strength for me as we live in the same town its easier to phone. I go for results on Monday to see if enough margin have been taken around my BC and if lymph nodes are affected. Surgery was tough, pain horrendous (feel I must have a low pain threshold as I have read book and threads and no-one has mentioned pain after surgery) trust me eh! Surgeon was lovely, but the aneathetist was a b…d!!! She couldnt find a vein and got very shirty about me being put it bluntly terrified, I look like a self harmer the mess of my arm from her attempts. Congrats on the new grandchild Maddy, they are a joy I have 3.
I have read you lot are all up for Christmas, I really cant even begin to think about it really wish I could I will try and draw on all your inspiration from cyberspace.
Welcome back my love! At least it is over now and you can start healing. Sorry you found it painful, but it is behind you now. Why not let your family do Chrismas this year? Yo have a perfect excuse, after all.
Dilys…yes twas I who has finally got shot of psoriasis after blinking years. Thinking of you with rads. Are you at James Cook? I had two male radiographers and they were lovely. And a young female one called Clare used to force feed me chocolates and dispense hankies when I was feeling weepy. I realise now that it was the Tamoxifen hitting my system. Was one big hormonal mess until about April this year…lol
Gill
Glad you are feeling better and good luck for Monday. I’ll be thinking of you. I also had a lot of pain and asked a nurse for some pain relief before it got too bad like they tell you in the booklet. She said “You’ll have to wait until the nurse comes round. We are really busy”. If I have to go in again ever, I won’t be the timid little mouse I was last year and if they make me wait, I will take in my own pain relief. After all, it was only paracetamol and diclofenac. You would have thought I was asking for Morphine or something. Mind you, the same team, Ward 4 at Hartlepool, told my husband that there were complications after surgery. After he came racing down to the hospital in a panic, it transpires that the problems were that they couldn’t find a porter to bring me back to the ward!
Dyzee
Hope you are feeling better today. I had poor sleep for about 8 months. I used to wander the house at night with tears running down my face. When I am feeling fragile, I stay off the bc sites as I find they make me worse even though I like the support. My husband found me one day with all my bc booklets, crying my eyes out and he flipped and ripped everything up and threw it out. I was upset but he was right. Bc nurse, Karen, is always telling me to stay off the internet too. I think the sites are brilliant but compulsive and can suck you in a bit. Anyway, did it go alright at onc’s. Hope you didn’t have to wait too long.
Maddy
Congratulations on becoming a grandma. That’s a big baby. My son was 3 weeks early and weighed 10lb 2 oz so I am an expert on big babies. Just joking and I had a c section so I don’t know how she managed
If I have missed anyone, I am sorry. My mind is totally wrecked at the moment. I have just been standing outside the house pressing the key fob for the car and wondering why the house door wouldn’t open. It’s a bit worrying. I am only 45
Good to catch up with all the news! My appointment is tomorrow late afternoon and I will pop back here later to let you know how I got on.It’s great to know that I have such support. I have also signed up for email one to one support and had my first message, which was lovely.
Gill, what a horrible experience for you, let’s hope it is good news about the lymph nodes. Glad the pain is settling, at last. How insensitive can some of these staff be, it is OBVIOUSLY a very scary experience. Durrrr…
Dilys, Hey, got over the halfway mark with your rads, hooray. I am glad you are coping Ok. You have been a bit of a star with the Xmas shopping too!
Wendy, did you get on Ok today? At least it could all be done at a steady pace, I bet the shops were packed?
Dyzee, oh it’s horrible when you are the only one awake in the world (or so it seems). I remember a period of insomnia a few years ago. At the moment I am waking very early, just worrying I guess. Hope you get a better night tonight.
Debbie, yes too much info can sometimes be a bad thing, I am my own worst enemy and always want to know the far end of everything, glad you sorted the psoriasis, that’s great.