I wrote a message last night and was soooooo cross because it just “crashed” as I was trying to post it so I am going to do messages on word in future, as has been suggested. Got a letter today inciting me for yet another ultrasound on Xmas Eve, I feel as if I live at the hospital at the moment, I am sure that is even more so for those on rads.
I have been a busy bee today and have done a whole essay for college, two and a half thousand words, wow, I won’t vouch for the quality but it’s the right length anyway, as the actress said to the bishop ïŠ
How are you all? Hope your skin is settling down now, Maddy and you will be able to spend some time with Benjamin over Christmas.
Debbie great that you got your poota desk, no excuse for not checking in now.
Wendy Glad to hear you sounding brighter, just take it easy and look after number one, the book will be very inspirational
Julie Hope you got a good sleep in the end. I went back to sleep after everyone went to work/school and had an awful dream about falling off a railway bridge.
Dyzee How you feeling honey? I hope you are taking good care of yourself and letting everyone spoil you a bit. We are all rooting for you.
Dilys you are a star finishing off the shopping. Asda delivered my main food thingies this afternoon and I am starting to feel quite excited, I know my son will be when he sees the Xmas pud, Coke etc. I will get up v early on Xmas eve and pop for veg etc before the hospital. Our Asda opens at 1 minute past midnight on Xmas eve morning, the poor staff!
15 rads sessions down - 10 to go - beginning to feel prickly across my chest so the microwave hotbottle is being used as a cool pad - bliss.
Rudolph and Christmas stickers went down a treat - radiographers seem to like my sense of humour (too bad if they don’t I suppose) - have told them Sticker Santa may arrive on Monday - luckily my skin didn’t react to the adhesive ! Took them a box of Frys Creation biscuits - lots of chocolate for them to scoff - one of the girls is very good at keeping a secret stash of chocolate - they look so good I may be tempted to buy some for us !
Had a slightly surreal moment today - discovered that my oncologist is also treating a male friend who has a brain tumour - (unfortunately could only joke about it with his wife) It’s very unsettling to see someone you know so well changed so much.
Louise - love the idea of being ‘incited’ for an ultrasound - would that they could! - what a good thing that your essay didn’t crash the way your message did!
hi my name is lizzie and I was waiting in the don’t know section but now I know I have a grade 2 lobular breast cancer invasive just under 3cm I am 36 with 3 children and the news is devastating is this a death sentence like I thinking or can I really survive this if its spread is this uncurable? Im penciled in for a op on the 7th Jan don’t know which type as they will discuss this on the 2nd Jan meanwhile I have to put on this brave face for the childrens christmas realising my worse nightmare is true can anyone offer me a story similar to mine where they have come through this and long term prospects are good or am I kidding myself Please help me its the middle of the night and I feel terrible.
How dreadful for you to get this news so near Christmas. Sorry that you had to join us but I hope you can find some comfort and inspiration reading these pages.
First of all, no it is not a death sentence. Yes, occasionally people do not survive but I was told there was an 87% chance of survival. I too have grade 2 invasive cancer (ductal not lobular) and am due for my op on 27th December, so I am very much where you’re at, though a bit older (47).
I think the shock is the worst of all. Putting on a brave face for the kids is very difficult too, especially as they get very excited about Christmas. I know that was very hard for me, I felt as if I was wearing lead boots, I could hardly drag my feet along. But now that you have the diagnosis I would suggest you don’t put such a brave face on it anymore. Tears do help and whilst the kids don’t need to be “frightened” about it all, there is no harm in them seeing that you are human and vulnerable. Also, talking about it will make you accept it better and get over the terrible shock.
Is your partner supportive? Have you any close friends or rellys that are the sort of people who will say “phone me day or night”? That’s what you need access to right now: someone to talk to. Don’t forget the Helplines on this website and in the middle of the night there are the Samaritans, who are brilliant.
One thing I have found really helpful, Lizzie, is to say to myself over and over: “I WILL be well, it is just a case of what I have to do to get there”
Hope you managed to get some sleep in the end and let us know how you get on.
Sorry you had to join us. All I can do is tell you my story and hope it helps. I was dx last year just in time for Breast Cancer Awareness Month…oh the irony. I was told I had a “nasty” lump which was 2.8cm and that, because of my age, I would have everything…chemo,radiotherapy and possibly hormone therapy. I am 45 by the way. I was also told it was grade 1. After the op, which was a lumpectomy, I was told that it was actually 2cm but grade 2 and ductal. Because there was no spread to any nodes or in the blood stream, I didn’t need any chemotherapy and had 19 sessions of radiotherapy and am now on Tamoxifen for 5 years. When I was told, I cried so much my husband took me to the doctors and they gave me a weeks course of diazepam to get me through the worst of the shock. I can still remember that numb feeling and thinking last Xmas would be my last. I have a 17 year old son who was in the middle of his GCSE’s and even now he gets anxious when I go for check ups. I get a yearly mammograms and have a 6 monthly “poke and grope” as we call it. He worries that I am not telling him the truth. My medical team won’t ever give anyone with breast cancer the all clear but they say that I am “NED” which means no evidence of disease. I know how shocked you are feeling and won’t even attempt to offer platitudes but you will be ok and you will get through your treatment and start to think “Well at least it was found and,because I have had tests and blood tests, I can be sure that i am clear of cancer”. You must think to yourself of all the people walking around who have cancer and have no idea that they do. I don’t mean this to sound patronising and am sorry if it does, but the point I am making is that you will be ok. With me, it was the fear of the unknown and I wanted to know everything. My mother in law, who was diagnosed 6 months before me, and who had rads and Tamoxifen like me, didn’t even ask what size grade or type of tumour hers was. If you feel that the news is too much to cope with, ring McMillan support. I always thought that they were for “end of life care” but they are not. A lovely McMillan nurse came to my house and just talked to me. She rang my doctors and persuaded them to give me some antidepressants as they wouldn’t before. She also arranged for me to have some free cognitive behavioural therapy which helped a bit. Any other night and I would have been on the computer with you giving you support as I still have sleepless nights. It’s a wonder you didn’t get Dilys or Dyzee too.
Look after yourself and try to get some pampering. You didn’t say how old your children were so I don’t know if they are your typical sulky teenager or at the toddler stage. I can only advise that you cope as best you can. With me, I was able to cry in front of my son which helped as I am an emotional person anyway and I let it all out. My son found it a help to talk to his grandparents who reassured him that I really was ok.
Sorry I’ve rambled Lizzie. I am thinking of you this Christmas and will pop back in to see how you are. Where do you live. Another idea would be to ring your breast care nurse and ask to be put in touch with someone in your area who has gone through the same experience. My bc nurse didn’t tell me she could do this until a year down the line. Or ring the helplines on this site. I am told they are v good
I am so sorry you have had to join us on here. What can I say? The others have siad it all really. It is the most terrible shock to start with but you will come to terms with it. When I was diagnosed in April I coldn’t believe it. I was convinced I had a benign cyst, like my mum when she was my age. I am 55 by the way. But to be told that it was an “infiltrating ductal carconoma with surrounding DCIS and vascular invasion” and that lymph nodes were involved was like a hammer blow. So we all know how you feel. But here I am now after mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, herceptin running on till next August and hormone tablets not intending to die yet. Bald or othewise. Sorry to sound like Pollyanna but you can get through it. Being Christmas does not help but there really isn’t a good time to be told.
So welcome Lizzie. I hope you will find that the best thing you have done is to find this site. Everyone will rally round you and help as best they can. Where are you my love? Do keep posting and let us know how you are. Sending you a big hug.
Welcome Lizzie (my daughter is called Lizzie, and my Nan was), so you already feel like one of the family.
You know my love, this is such a dreaduful thing to happen at any time, but particulary at Christmastime. I cannot say
more than my friends above have already said, they are all wise, wonderful and inspirational women, each of us surviving this nightmare together and you will too. We will make sure of that. We will love and support you and hold your hand throughout.
So you see, you are now part of this very loving family of BC Babes - Stick with us and you WILL be ok - promise.
Ohhhhh Iv’e been proper poorly with the nasty old chemo, but Iv’e beat the bugger today and am now feeling more like my old self. It made me sooooo sick and tired (grrrrrrrrrrr). Hey ho - 1 down - 5 to go!!!
Hey Dilys - You only beat me to the finish for the Christmas shopping - Well done you!!! How are you, I missed talking to you my lovely.
Thank you all for your messages of support. I really appreciate it.
I’m even going to finish wrapping the rest of the pressies tomorrow - Wahay.
Has anybody had any roast chestnuts? Iv’e bleedin well missed out and I love them!!! Mmmm might buy some tomorrow.
dear chaterbox am in a bad state need reassurance badly must live just been to pantomine and my baby girl said mummy i love you so much they do not know yet that comes after xmas yes my husband is brilliant and I have a huge network of family and friends but Im struggling to believe Ill be ok HELP ME
Dear Liz
I have edited your last post as we do not allow the posting of personal details such as telephone numbers as per our terms and conditions.
I am sorry to read that you are feeling so low at the moment and would like to suggest that you call our confidential helpline to talk to someone about how worried you are. The number is 0808 800 6000 and it opens Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm, hope this helps a little. Your breast care nurse and GP are also able to offer you support and can refer you for further help if this is what you need, for example, counselling, which can help you get through the difficult times.
Dear Lizzie,
Hope you soon see a path through this wretched minefield - we’re all shining torches for you.
How dreadful for you to have been reprimanded by the Moderator so soon after finding this thread with so many supportive people who will all be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts to help you through.
I’m sure that ringing the 0808 number is right for some people but can understand why you would want to talk to the rest of us - keep in touch via this thread and we will support you. There are other sites that some of us use which do allow closer contact - perhaps you could try surfing
It is a rotten time of year WHENEVER you receive a diagnosis and we’ve all been there to some extent. We all react differently, wondering how we will cope and our family will a) cope with the news b) cope if anything happens to us, as you get stronger you will no doubt find time to read some of our previous posts and see that you do not need to be alone with this. Telling your children that mummy is poorly is a good first step - nobody knows until all the tests are done what will happen in the future - live for today (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
welcome back - sorry to hear about the chemo reaction - just watch those finger nails when you’re doing your wrapping other wise people will be getting extra surprise presents!
Your comment about chestnuts made me wince - I ruin my nails every year peeling the blasted things - but I agree - they are yummy!!!
Hi everyone,
Don’t know if I’m putting this in the right place as have never been on a forum before. I was diagnosed with BC 5th Dec and will have chemo first (6 cycles of fec) then surgery followed by radiotherapy. Reading all the posts is very encouraging to me as I don’t feel I’m the only one.
Has anyone else been told they have lobular BC?
I am going for an MRI scan tomorrow to see if its elsewhere in my breast or in the other side too. I’d love to hear from anyone and support anyone else I can too!
If you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
Just to re-clarify to you why we do not allow the posting of personal information such as contact details on the forums, this is to protect the safety and security of our users as contained in our terms and conditions.
Ginge - what a day to have a scan! Wish you all the luck in the world.
Dyzee - sorry about the chemo reaction, and hope you are back to your normal self soon and can get going on the Chrismas dinner (and champane).
Maddy - how are you doing? And Louise and Debbie?
Lizzie - you wll get through this thing. Look at us lot! We have all been complete wimps at times (well, I have - sorry everyone else!). But in the end you don’t have a choice really but to get on with it as best you can, holding on to all the support you can get on the way.
Have been out all day. I promise, promise, promise that it will get better when you get your head round the news. Ask the hospital for details for your McMillan nurse, they are brilliant and can help a lot. One thing I have done is to ask for a one to one email supporter, look at the “support for you” section of the website and that has been helpful, they allocate you someone that has been through it already and so can give you some support.
I agree with Maddy that it is a good idea for the kids to get used to the “Mummy is poorly” idea and I am glad your husband is so supportive. HE needs to get help as well as he will be one of your supports in the months to come. We are all in this together, Lizzie and you WILL get through.
My cancer is ductal, but you can still get support from us all. Good luck for the scan, what a lovely Christmas present (not!), I am at the hospital tomorrow too, but just for more ultrasound. Hope they’re not playing pigging carols in the waiting room!
How are you all? Dyzee, it is good to have you back, glad you are feeling a bit better now, hope that Christmas will fall on a “well” day. Dilys, have you done all your wrapping? How are you Maddy, Wendy, Julie, Debbie?
I have had a hectic weekend, invited for meals on both Friday and Saturday nights and then today over to see my stepchildren and also my Mum, which was lovely. My stepdaughter’s baby is due in about a week, awwww. Starting to lose sleep now, waking very early. At least on Thursday I will have a sleep under the anaesthetic, haha. I had a dream that the surgeon was The Terminator!
Up early tomorrow for last food shopping then to the hospital for ultrasound and marking. The supermarket is open from a minute past midnight but I think I will wait till 6am.
Lovely to hear from you. I am as ready as I will ever be for Xmas, and off to my sister in law tomorrow for some serious luxury. Sounds as if you have had a great weekend. If we don’t speak again I wish you so much luck for Thursday my darling. You will be just fine. And we are all thinking of you and sending you strength.
Enjoy the Christmas time and don’t let Thursday thoughts spoil it