Diagnosed 29th - Hello Ladies.

[system]

Hi Grandma Louise,
What great news - a beautiful baby girl for you to spoil - my mum always used to say grandchildren are great because you can spoil them rotten and then hand them back! Enjoy!I think the milky sucks and slobbers are fantastic.

I was sorry to hear about the emergency caesarean - not exactly the start you would wish for to being a parent (or grandparent for that matter) Hope she recovers quickly.

To all BC Babes, (Chemo Chicks and Hickman Line Honeys?!!*?) -

My uncle’s funeral is on Thursday in Clay Cross - his sons, daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren did such a fantastic job taking care of him at the end that they are not planning to take him back to Scotland as most of the family is in Derbyshire.

Three more sessions of radiotherapy , seeing the oncologist tomorrow, appointment to see surgeon 21st - hopefully they will have decided by then whether I really should be taking the Tamoxifen! Fingers crossed that will be the end of it. I’m beginning to feel quite a fraud -you are all going through so much more to beat this disease.

Sending my best wishes and love to you all
Maddy xxxx

[system]

Sorry to hog the thread but just just got to get this off my chest…ARRRRRRGGGGG!!!. Telephoned the hospital this morning to find out where my bed is. Check in today at 4pm. All sorted was on my mobile to Mum telling where I was and the land line rang. My surgeon has a cold. I now have to race up to the hospital at 4pm today to meet the new surgeon and I am re sheduled for Wednesday. I know I should be grateful its only one extra day but I was all geared up for admittance today op tomorrow. If it was a basic lumpectomy I think I may have been fine but losing the nipple is proving quite emotional and I cant believe how upset I am!!!

Sorry for going on but **!!!%£^&* to it all.

Shonagh xx

[system]

Hello everyone
Thanks for the good wishes, yes poor Michelle to have to go through all that. Looking forward to seeing the baby at the weekend though her Dad says he will email some pics. I have been a lady who lunches today (veg curry before you ask, Dyzee!) and had a lovely time with a good friend. My underarm is painful and stiff, the exercises really help loosen it up.

I am trying to get some air to my op sites by going topless, the curtains were shut but there are no curtains in the kitchen. Thank heavens I had just popped a jacket on to put the bins out this morning as the window cleaner immediately appeared at the kitchen window!!! Damn, I could have got a fiver off the price!!!

Shonagh, you must be absolutely stressed to the eyeballs. Counting the days means the addition of even one more is just so awful! Try to do something “nice” tomorrow so you feel you have had something you wouldn’t have had, if you had had the op Tuesday.

Maddy fantastic that there’s only three rads to go but I can’t believe that you STILL haven’t got a clear answer about the Tamoxifen. Good luck with your appointment and let us know how you get on. I hope the funeral isn’t too much of an ordeal, I am sad about your uncle but I want you to look after yourself too.

Dyzee, Dilys, Wendy, Julie how are you all today?

Love,

Louise

[system]

Hi Everyone,

Shonagh - I am soooooo sorry that you have to wait yet another day. I can only imagine what that must feel like after you have psyched yourself up for the op.
I do feel for you hon and send you lots of huge hugs ((((((((((HUGS)))))))). Sending you lots of love for tomorrow and will be thinking of you.

Maddy - Nearly done now - you have been soooo brave and such a sport. I bet they will miss you in the Rads Dept. You must tell me where you bought your stickers.
I fear we have the same sense of humour!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - I cannot believe that you still don’t have your results - it’s bl***y diabolical, and makes me sooooo angry!!! Oh and by the way - you are most certainly not a fraud and have been through as much as we have - you are our Maddy and we love you - so there!!!

Louise - You made me laugh so much with your post. I now have a very vivid picture of you swanning around the house topless (LOL). It would have been magic if the window cleaner had caught you. I can just imagine his reaction - and yours… priceless. I don’t know - you being a Grandma, disgraceful!!!

Dilys - Are you getting yourself ready for your Herceptin on Thursday? Does it have any side affects? It’s been alovely sunny day today so I bet you have been out and about my love.

Wendy - How are you feeling about your chemo?

Julie - Hope you are feeling good and starting to get your plan together - let us know how you are my love.

Well as the chemo draws near, I find the feeling of dread and fear increasing. I am giving it my all trying to stay positive though and thinking about the good it will do.
At the moment I look like an alien, my hair continues to fall out and I now have more bald patches than hair but it will come back eventually - hey-ho everyone - onwards and upwards!!! We will get through everything together!!!

Sending lots of love and hugs to everyone,
Dyzee.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[system]

Evie Rose, awwwwwwwwwww how beautiful, I love that name. Congratulations to the whole family you must be so chuffed.

Sorry all , really tired tonight and only slept 4 hrs last night, pre 1st day back to work, wish I could switch my brain off, never mind I ll have chemo brain soon and possibly wont think about anything or remember anything!!!

LOL to you all, fingers crossed S that your op does happen soon, the waiting isnt fair, we’'ll be waiting to hear from you when you are home and ready to say hi xx

julie xxxxx

[system]

Hi BC Babes

Louise – fantastic news. Nothing like a new baby in the family to brighten the day. Hope Michelle is not too sore! Evie Rose is a lovely name and what a lucky girl having so many grandparents, think of all those Birthday presents! Hope your underarm is feeling less sore, it must feel like it has been sore forever! A topless grandmother, how outrageous!

Shonagh, so sorry to hear your news it must have been devastating after preparing yourself mentally for op on Wed but I hope all goes well on Thurs. Look forward to hearing from you again very soon.

Maddy, will be thinking of you on Thursday. Don’t you dare feel a fraud, you have been going through it also with your rads etc. and just as much worry as the rest of us. We are all in this together. I hope you get some good news on 21st.

Hi Dyzee, like you, I am not looking forward to my chemo but more nervous about the hickman at the moment. I went to see the consultant today who will be fitting it and whilst I was there I was told that my last bloods were too low so they took more and I have to keep my fingers crossed that they are now ok. I will get a call tomorrow, if they are not then it is all off again until next week! I will be rooting for you on Thursday, hope you don’t feel too unwell. Glad I am not the only alien – do you think we both come from the same planet?!

Take care all. Love Wendy.

[system]

Dear All

Hi everyone

Shonagh - I am so sorry about the unexpected delay. Wishing you well for tomorrow now.

Louise - love the thought of getting caught topless bu the window cleaner! I nearly opened the door hatless to ours - just remembered in time!

Julie - hope your first day back at work goes ok.

Wendy - goodness the hickman line saga goes on doesn’t it? Hope you get the call to go ahead soner rather than later.

Dyzee - I know about chemo day!. Just has to be done. It is worse in the anticipation I think.

It has just managed to stop raining here, after a freezing day yesterday. Do I trust it enough to go out? Hmm, may be see what happens after lunch!

Much love to all

Dilys
xxxxx

[system]

Hello BC babes

What a night for me, went to bed quite late and had a bit of a fall-out with OH. Suddenly realised my chest was wet and screamed, switched the light on and there was blood spouting everywhere from my WLE. It wouldnt stop and was all over the bedding, carpet etc. We were so frightened and so phoned the hosptital, I have been in A and E and then admitted to hospital, finally saw specialist this morning who said it was the wound self-draining. I know your underarm did that, Dyzee and I would not have been so shocked if it had been fluid but it looked like pure blood, the specialist said it was fluid stained with blood and now I am home with a large dressing on and thinking I should carry a folded towel everywhere for if it happens again, what if it happens when I am on the train to work etc? Ha, at least OH has been nice to me despite the fallout (does everyone else find that they are more short tempered?)

Dyzee Julie and Wendy :Good luck for your chemos, we will be with you all the way and hope the Hickman isnt too bad Wendy, will be thinking of you

Shonagh: All the best for tomorrow, honey.

Dilys: Glad you remembered your hat. I bet window cleaners have such an interesting job, I would enjoy looking at how people have decorated/furnished their homes, but then I am a saddo who likes seeing what other people buy at the supermarket.

Maddy how are you doing? Rads again today, nearly there…woo-hoo! Hope it goes Ok with onc, let us know the news

We got some lovely pics of Evie Rose last night, she is totally gorgeous!

Love to all

Louise

[system]

Evening All,

Dilys- Here we go again. Chemo for me Herceptin for you! We will once again hold hands my dear friend. Sending you hugs and loads of love.

Wendy - Hope your bloods are ok and the Hickman procedure is not to uncomfortable for you hon. I will be thinking of you and holding your hand. I most definately think we are from the same planet. Good luck. X

Louise - I know you will have had a major shock with your wound draining. Mine was the node wound. I thought my stitches had burst as the fluid looked like watery blood. It also happened in the middle of the night in the pitch black, very scary! The second and final time (about a week later), happened in bed again, in the middle of the night. The positive side is that the wound and my arm were so much more comfortable after it had drained. Hope you are ok my love and get a good nights sleep tonight. What a shame you can’t post the pictures of beautiful Evie Rose for us all to see.

Julie - How did it go at work? I bet it was strange going back and hope you settled in ok. You will soon join us in Chemo Creek. I was quite ill with the first one and would not have been able to work. My friend Lynne, who works with me was the opposite. She had her Chemo on the Wednesday and was back at work the following Monday (if I have already told you this, I apologise - chemo brain). I think is it a very individual thing and none of us know how we will react until we have it. I will keep everything crossed that you are like Lynne and not me. Mind you - if I take flamin Night Nurse, it knocks me out for 24 hours!!! What a wimp I am.

Shonagh - Hope everything is going well and to plan - thinking of you and sending a hug.

Maddy - Hope the final rads are going well. Let us know how Benjamin is and how the “walk” went.

Well I have been for my NHS Wig today. I was really surprised. They had a fantastic range and the young girl who advised me (Louise) was a little star.
I turned up in my wig (which is long -ish and brown with subtle red highlights) thinkin I would just get something similar. Once I had a look at all of the styles on offer
my “up yours” nature kicked in and I thought b****r it, if I am going to be bald, I am gonna have some fun, so went to the other extreme and ended up with a really trendy short one that is Aubergine and two shades of brown (hehehe). The lovely Louise cut it for me and put some product on it and it looked fab!
That will confuse the neighbours!!! So, I have decided that I will be “Mischevious Dyzee” when I wear my naughty short wig!!

Chemo time approaches, hope I am better this time than last, will be back on as soon as I can. Good luck and hugs to everyone having treatment, appointments and antyhing else this week.

Lots of love and major hugs to all.

Dyzee. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[system]

Hi BC Babes

Hooray, bloods ok so Hickman day tomorrow (Wed) and chemo day Thurs.

Thanks for your best wishes and good wishes to everyone else in treatment this week, I will be thinking of you all.

Last time wiped me out for days so apologies in advance if you don’t hear from me for a while (although some may say thank goodness!).

I shall be back!!

Love to all, Wendy.

[system]

Saw the oncologist yesterday - he asked if anyone had spoken about hormone therapy (?) so I told him I’m taking it until they give me the hormone receptor status - still no results so he dictated a polite message for pathology to pull their fingers out - he still had to stress the dangers and side effects of taking Tamoxifen - I told him I’d rather be safe than sorry and about my lifelong liking for taking risks - sunbathing, drinking alcohol, the pill, HRT etc etc - I think he got the point. Also had to see the nurse - the skin under my breast is in danger of breaking down so I’ve now got gel and dressings for the coming weeks!

Last rads today - have got some very nice silver and pink floral stickers (they’re only the sort you can buy from Asda (or similar stores!) for putting on cards and parcels.) I did try writing with felt tip pen the other day but it smudged badly between home and hospital. I’m a little upset because ‘my’ machine is out of service so I’m not seeing the same team - but I will make sure that the ‘Heroes’ and card get to the relevant people - they’ve been absolutely joys to have around me for the past five weeks.

Louise -
how scared you must have been waking to such a dreadful sight ( I didn’t leak after the first few days but had the most revolting movements of fluid within my breast which made me feel sick every time it happened) - glad that it’s not too serious for you - fingers crossed that it doesn’t happen again.

Dilys -
having great fun imagining your window cleaner’s face if he had caught you! It reminded me of our summer holiday in Spain a couple of years ago - my husband had been bitten by an insect on his rear end and I was inspecting the damage - he was on his knees with pants round his ankles, me kneeling behind looking closely…when we suddenly heard the sound of a friend’s voice approaching - he’d driven thousands of miles to meet us and arrived just on time !!! Fortunately our tent is surrounded by large windbreaks - we like our privacy - so he didn’t see anything except two very flushed people getting up from the floor - we did explain but it didn’t sound like the truth!!

Dyzee -
it’s great that you rebelled when choosing your wig - why should Cher have all the fun - your description of it sounds very ‘naughty’ it’s a pity we can’t all get to see it.

Just had a phone call from my daughter - the nurse thinks they may have ‘miscalculated’ Benjamin’s weight at birth so he possibly didn’t lose a pound in two and a half weeks after all and may only have weighed 8lbs2oz to start with! He’s just put on two ounces in two days !

Love to you all, off to the hospital, will let you know how tomorrow and Friday went at the weekend
Maddy xxxxx

[system]

Hi Everyone,

Discussed the Acid/Indigestion with the Onc today, he said that this also contributes to the nausea, which is interesting as I was nauseous for about 10 days in all and when the acid disappeared so did the nausea…
He has prescribed me Lanzoprasole 30mg. He said that this would stop the acid and give my tum a rest. I have to take 1 per day for 7 days. So I will let you know how it goes. Had a bit of a mare with 2nd EC. it was stinging as it went in so they were concerned that it was leaking. Lots of activity which ended up with the Sister/Manager being called, she came and resited the cannular. Thought I was in for a long stay but it all settled down (thank goodness). Home now and feeling very tired ( we were in the hospital for 6 hours) and looking a bit grey but apart from that ok (fingers crossed).

Hope all ok. Going for a little nap now.

Love and hugs,
Dyzee.

[system]

Dear Dyzee

Oh poor you. Thank goodness it settled down. I was thinking of you all day hoping it would go well. Have a nap and get comfortable! My husband takes that Lanzoprasole to protect his stomach against the effects of steroids. It is meant to be good stuff.

Take care dearest Dyzee

Maddy - love the Spanish story! Hope the last rads went ok. Bet they will miss you!

Love

Dilys
xxxx

[system]

Hello Babes

How are we all today? I had another leak this morning, I went and stood over the sink and just waited for it all to come out and pressed gently to empty it, in the end it did a horrible slurping sound and the whole cavity collapsed into a huge crater, hope it won’t happen too many times, have got antibiotics and it is results day for me tomorrow at the hosp. EEK.

I loved Maddy’s story about the bum sting! We went for a mini break to the Peak District about a year ago. We were shown to our room and suddenly there was a loud buzzing noise coming from our luggage, the proprietor was very embarrassed and clearly did not believe us when we said it was our electric toothbrushes. My husband insisted on emptying out our suitcase to show him!!!

Maddy, I am thinking of you today and hoping you are bearing up. You will be delighted to say bye bye to the rads, though. Good news about Benjamin, it is worrying when they admit mistakes though, isn’t it? I am not going to see Evie Rose this weekend as it is too far there and back in the seatbelt, so Grandad is going on his own.

Dyzee, you poor love it sounds like such a long ordeal this time. I hope that the tummy medicine will help with the nausea and that today you are taking it easy and this cycle won’t be so drastic for you. Your new wig sounds fab! And I am impressed that it is NHS.

Wendy, you have had to be so brave with your Hickman and I do hope your chemo is going Ok today, we will hear from you when you feel able. Take care (x)

Dilys, How are you? Don’t know if you are getting out and about but here in Yorkshire the weather is FOUL. I am not sleeping too well at the mo, so I am planning an afternoon snooze in front of the TV.

Shonagh, hope you are well post-op. Sending you a ((HUG))

Julie, How’s the chemo been this week? Did you wear your fried egg T-shirt?

Love to all

Louise

[system]

Dear All

Oh Louise those leaks sound very scary. Good luck with the results tomorrow. Love the toothbrush story!

Dyzee - how are you feeling today? Hope you are ok?

Maddy, Shonagh, Julie, Wendy - how are you all doing?

I had herceptin number seven this morning and was in and out in record time. Yippee. Only another ten to go. Mind you I have to be back at the hospital this afternoon for a 1700 appointment for my husband. We are treating ourselves to a curry afterwards as a reward.

Daren’t wear the wig today! It is sooooo windy here.

Much love

Dilys
xxxx

[system]

Hello all,

Good grief girls, I go into hospital for two days and it all happens.

Louise: How scared must you have been, just reading your entry made my armpit and WLE tingle. Glad to hear its OK but hope you and your OH have got over the shock but on a brighter note how is Evie Rose

Maddy: Thinking of you today. We had the 1 year anniversary of close uncles death this week and I found it hard to think about so lord knows how you are feeling. My thoughts are with you.

Dyzee: I cant remember when your chemo is starting again, is it the 11th? Thinking of you and your naughty wig days. Made me laugh I hope If I have this route to go down I can be as brave as you.

Dilys: Glad to hear you didnt have to hang around and you are feeling cheerful and at least if its too windy for your wig its cold enough for hats.

Hope both Wendy and Julie are feeling ok I have kind of lost a few days so hope I havent missed anyone out but heres my latest.

Blimey well the last few days have been a roller coaster to say the least. I went in on Tues night (no idea why) couldnt sleep, was in a really quiet ward with only four to a room and only two beds taken including mine but as it was a womens unit mainly for gyno problems there were two emergency admissions in the middle of the night and the phone kept ringing. Got taken down at 8.00am as first on the list, saw the surgeon and everone else and this is the big news. Didnt want to tempt fate but the change in surgeon was the best thing that could have happened as Mr Sharif is a oncoplastic surgeon and he has tried to save my nipple. I still have to wait until the hystology comes back to know for sure but at the minute it is still there. I will find out on Tuesday when I get the nodes results and my treatment shedule. At the minute I am still expecting to lose it as I keep preparing myself for the worst(another op) so I dont get upset but you never know it may just stay.

I got to go home the same day as the operation (yesterday) as there are no drains HURRAY!!! so got a decent nights sleep. My boob doesnt hurt at all not even a twinge but my armpit is quite sore though considering what a mardy pants I am its fine, just parecetomol and asprin and doing OK as long as I dont push though have just smashed one of my denby (no longer made) side plates trying to use my left hand so realy annoyed with myself. Fingers crossed for clear nodes and margins.

Just had a phone call from Debbie one of my breast nurses, she went to the ward this morning to see me and I had already gone home so she was ringing to check up on me. I cant get over how lovely the whole unit is. The other breast nurse, Sue checked me over before discharge yesterday and was so lovely with my Mum I could have kissed her. In fact the whole thing so far has been amazingly quick considering I only found the first lump on the 10th December. Not sure if its just Stepping Hill Hospital(Stockport) or not but the Bobby Moore unit and the wards have been amazing.

Thanks everyone for hugs and wishes love hugs and best wishes to all of you.

Shonagh xx

[system]

Hi Everyone,

Feeling pretty grotty so won’t be writing much.

Custard - What fantastic news - I am so, so pleased for you my love. I will keep everything crossed for you and will be thinking of you.

Hope everyone else is pulling through.

Thinking of you all and sending loads of hugs,
Dyzee. X

[system]

Hey there Dyzee,

no need to reply to this just to pass on ((((HUGS))))) and say how sorry I am you are feeling grotty.

Love and Luck as ever Shonagh xxxx

[system]

Hi BC Babes,
How are you all today,
Ive been a bit quiet lately I know, chemo went ok, I felt a bit naueous and tired on thursday but the 3 day oral meds are keeping that at bay and ginger tea. Is there a trick with not taking the steroids too late at night , I m very insomniaccy at the moment. Work was tiring Im going to have to pace myself, I went to Occupational health yesterday and during chemo Im doing 4-5.5 hrs a day, 5 days, dont know how pay will be affected yet, hoping not at alll of course. I will ring in sick if I really cant manage any days later on, its only cycle 1 of 6, by no 3 , I might be crawling!!!

Maddy- Hope Thursday went ok, was there a lot of family and friends there? or was it a small intimate funeral, either way goodbyes are important arent they. Life works in weird ways what with Ben arriving recently eh. Hope you are feeling better now Rads is over, another recovery issue to tick off the list.

Dyzee- I love the sound of your wig, great choice!! go girl…

Dilys- More than half way with Herceptin hooray, how are you feeling with it? my hat blew off yesterday , I cant imagine having a flying wig!

Louise-Have you finally stopped leaking yet , you poor thing , when I read your first post i was really shocked, it must have been terrifying for you both.Hope you get to baby next visit Im sure there will abe lots of stories for you from OH about her,

Shonagh- Wellcome home,good to hear you’re home and safe and feeling so great, sounds like you had a really positive hospital experience which really helps with anyones recovery, and a big bonus- nipple saving surgery!!! fingers crossed for that its permanent, when do you get your results?

And lots of loving healthy thoughts to anyone I havent mentioned today, thinking of you all, take care until next time,
Julie xxxxxxx

[system]

Hi all,

Oh my god how low do I feel today in fact I think this is the worst I have felt since finding the lump, I felt panic and cried in the past but today I am just really really grumpy(and thats putting it mildly) I didnt sleep at all last night thank god for free view. I was watching loose women repeats at 4am. I know this sounds realy evil but its my Mum thats driving me mad. She has never been a particularly worried parent, we had to have a leg falling off before we got kept of school as kids but ever since “HER BABY” (i’m 39 and her youngest) got cancer she wont leave me alone. Well the long and the short of it is a 10 minute visit on the day of surgery became 3 hours and now she wants to visit on Sunday. We live about 30 miles away so it wont be a quick visit and to be honest until I get my results and treatment plan on Tuesday the only people I can cope with for more than 10 minutes are you lot in here (Thank you thank you thank you) and my Husband. AAAARRRGGGGG!!!

Right got that outof the way, Cheers guys. Sorry to rant.

Lots of love to you all. Shonagh xxx