Shonagh - great news about your hospital and treatment, but sorry you are feeling down. Relatives can be a mixed blessing can’t they? Sure you just can’t tell her how you feel? Otherwise you’ll end up fretting and fretting. I had to be really firm with my sister in law. I adore her but absolutely did NOT want to go and stay at hers after surgery, but it took me a long time to pluck up the courage to say no. Felt much better once I had, and she understood completely. Well she is still happily talking to me! Go pick up that phone now!
Julie - wow, working through chemo. A lot to take on. Go easy won’t you? With the steroids I was told not to take them after 1400 and it seemed to do the trick. I used to sleep like a log for about three days after chemo and then always had about two nights wide awake. I used to come and sit on here and annoy everyone! There is always someone else about. But I didn’t have to worry about being ok for work in the morning…
Maddy and Louise - hope all is well?
Much love
Dilys
xxxxx
Dyzee - how are you today? It is still foul here, raining like mad and windy again. I am staying indoors!
I know I need to get a grip but I know I will cave in and let her come, I’ve just spoken to my Sue one of my BC nurses and she has said its ok for me to take a sleeping tablet tonight but to try without first. We had to change doctors in the middle of all this as my GP was in Stockport and I had to make sure I had emergency doc cover after hospital in Middlewich where we live. They too have just rung and said my sleeping tablet prescription in ready for collection so Phil has popped off to pick it up, he has been a diamond. They have only given me a 10 tablet prescription so I wont get dependant but i cant cope with another night like last night. The new doctor wants to see me next week after my results to discuss me and my needs so all seems to be going well.
If I can just get rid of this bloated queezy feeling and a decent nights sleep I’m sure I will be back to normal tomorrow. Its just so not like me to be sulky and moody, I can go up like a rocket and then its over but not normally stroppy. I wonder if the bloating/sickly feeling is due to the blue dye. Its not in my pee anymore but has just started coming through elsewhere!!! Thank god you all warned me about it. Once again thanks all ladies you have been rocks.
How is everyone? Hope the chemo chicks aren’t feeling too rough. Look after yourselves Dyzee, Wendy and Julie. Julie WOW you are doing brilliantly. Dilys, you are getting there on your Herceptin, hope your husband’s appointment went Ok. Maddy how are you doing? Hope yesterday wasn’t too traumautic. Shonagh, sorry you have had such a rough time, honey. People react in all different ways and you must, must, must think of YOURSELF. Don’t forget those exercises, they are brilliant!
Results Day for me: Upgraded to grade 3 but the good news is that the sentinel lymph node was clear so no more surgery. High oestrogen receptor levels. Tumour 2.7 cm. So it is definitely 15 rads and Tamoxifen. They are quite keen for me to have chemo but I need to wait to see onc before a final decision is taken. They say because of my age (pre menopausal) and the grade 3 then it is a distinct possibility, but chest Xray and bloods came back clear. So, more waiting for me. I guess I need to see by what percentage chemo would reduce the risk of recurrence/secondaries? It is so much to get my head round, I suppose that is why they give you the info in instalments?
Louise - sounds copeable with? I think they tell you in instalments as otherwise we would curl up and die of fright! Not realising that it can be done. Bless you my love. Are you ok with that? Or do you actually have any choice but to be ok with that??? I tried so hard to avoid chemo but the stats went the other way. You will make the decision that suits you in the end.
Shonagh - my heart is with you. Try to rest. I am sure you have heard this before but Middlewich sounds like a sci-fi site?
Dilys : you have just made me laugh for the first time today. Middlewich, Torchwood who knows ??? Thank you so much. Just came upstairs to read some inspiration and to stop me snapping at Phil when he really doesnt deserve it. I am just such a grump. Perhaps its the bloo poo!!! Middlewich is so un science fiction believe me. Its the salt capital of UK a dubious title but basically its fields canals cows and pubs.but still chuckling now.
Louise: Sorry about the upgrade but the node clearance is good news,I’m waiting for the news on Tuesday so far its 1.3cm invasive ductal grade one with 100% oestrogen and 80% progesterone so I am definately looking at hormone therapy and radiotherapy but they keep mentioning the chemo thing due to may age too (39) and I am waiting for fish tests on HER2 as it came back borderline from the core biopsy. I have been reading other peoples threads onthis to chemo or not chemo thing to prepare myself and its a toughie. I’m wondering if its just a precaution if its possible to have the rads and hormone straight away and hold off the chemo for a couple of months. Ah well getting ahead of myself as usual I am just worried if I dont take the chemo option no matter how low the risks if it came back would I regret it.
Hope all the rest of you ladies are looking after yourselves and being looked after too.
Sleep well. Love Shonagh xx
Laughing is good! Actually fields,canals, cows and pubs sounds just lovely! East Anglia? Somerset? Cornwall? Whatever it must be better than the circling helicopter over East London right now. You take care my love. Am thinking of you. I have to admit I am older than you. Will be 56 in February. But last year they threw the book at me because I was “so young and fit”. Didn’t want chemo either. Didn’t want Any of it. But honestly Shonagh, if it gives you a chance, you grab it. With both hands.
Good morning BC babes,
We’re off to Wiltshire today, our friends have 2 teenage boys playing in ‘‘bands’’ tonight in the Winchester Arms so off to support and cheer along without embarrassing them I hope!
Shonagh- hope you start feeling brighter soon, the anaesthetic can really throw mood off kilter, so give yourself a bit of time. Try and put Mum off if you are brave enough. Im 45 , my Mum wanted to overstay post my big op. my partner needed space too, so I asked her to go home sooner eventually, it was hard, but I encouraged her to come later during the later stages of chemo… as a consolation she lives much further away tho.
Dilys-Im not going to work my chemo week wed-sun off, then back in following monday, it should work, with chemo day on wednesdays, what do you think. so far so good anyway, Ive got my hats and caps ready, might get a wig for special occiasions but its not really me.
Time to get ready… have a great weekend everyone,love and hugs,
Julie xxx
Dilys : Thank you, I find you such an inspiration and you always manage to find the funny side, hoooooo, sometimes that’s difficult isn’t it? I know that whatever they offer I will take. I had many years of unhappiness in a terrible marriage and less than four years ago met my lovely husband, I want to stick around and spend some time with him. Not to mention my brilliant sons! Yes, if they had told me all this at the beginning, I couldnt have coped even though I am a very strong and centred person. Hope you have a lovely weekend (xx)
Shonagh: Good luck for your results, it sounds as if we have the same path to follow. I am delighted that there is no lymph node spread and hope the same will be for you. I empathise with you being grumpy, I am normally a really cheerful person but now can fly off the handle in a spectactular way, it is the stress of everything. As you recover from your op you will gather your strength to face the next bit. I have been reading up on chemo too, scary BUT if we need it, we can both do it, and kick the **** out of this damned thing! (HUG) for you.
Hope everyone else is “getting there” and look forward to hearing from the chemo chicks when they can manage.
Hi ladies, well thank you for your lovely thoughts. I took a sleping tablet last night and slept through. Woke up to a lovely blue sky crisp morning. Phil washed my hair…BLISS… and had a shower hopping around trying not to get my right hand side wet.
Dilys: Its in Cheshire kind of between Chester, Tatton Park and Jodrell bank if thats any use we moved here about 15 months ago from Stockport and thats why my hospital (and Mum) is so far away but its only 40 mins drive and eventual trips to Christies will be that long no matter where I was living. We are so glad we moved when we did, I gather my chances of getting a new mortgage are shot now for a good few years.
Julie: I tried again yesterday, she rang and Phil told her I was in bed and tried to talk her out of it again but she is adamant, I feel a lot brighter today but I suppose tomorrow all depends on how much sleep I get. Ah well no doubt I will be posting a rant the minute she leaves, She had better not bring an overnight bag!!!
Louise: It certainly sound like we are on a similar path it will be interesting to see if my nodes are clear the similarities or differences in treatment. I have been a bit obsessive with preparing for chemo to the point I have looked up funky scarves and head wear and also found a lingerie night at a posh knicker shop in Altrincham who have special stuff for odd shaped boobs. It just makes me feel like I’m doing somthing rather than lying around feeling wacked out.
Hope all is well with Dyzee. I know you said it would be a while before you posted but my thoughts are with you and all the chemo/herceptin/rads girls
Shonagh - you sound a bit brighter today? Hope it is for real. And you will just have to give your mum a big hug and try to be grateful, eh? Better than her not caring about you. That sounds a lovely part of the world too. Well chosen.
Louise - thank god for a good second marriage. You will be around for a good long while yet to enjoy it, never fear. And for your sons as well.
Julie - have a great time cheering on the lads, won’t you?
Dyzee - hope you are ok? Chemo lows can be awful. Hope you have the lovely sun today instead of the vile wind and rain of yesterday.
Two days away and this thread is full of life! Had to read through 19 of your messages before I could reply - sorry if you can’t remember what you put for me to reply to !!!
Grandma Louise -
So sorry to hear of your nightmare leaks - you are really going through the mill. Loved the toothbrush story - reminded me of when our younger daughter had a weekend job at a local hotel as a maid - she found the biggest “non-toothbrush” (if you know what I mean) left in a bedside cabinet - in a room used by our neighbours!!! We still don’t know if they went back to claim it!
Hope Evie Rose is developing as expected - we went to see Benjamin yesterday, the weather was dreadful so we didn’t get out for the expected walk with him but we took him and his mum out for lunch to Wolverton House - he slept right through (the little treasure) - we couldn’t have done that with his mum - she was a nightmare! Then we took him to visit some old friends and he did his latest party trick - 4ounces from a bottle of formula and then a breast feed - instructions from the health visitor to build him up!!
Shonagh -
what good news about your nipple - I didn’t lose mine -and even though it’s a bit misshapen around the margin it’s still there - what a great man your new surgeon is.The sleeping pills sound like a great idea - whatever it takes to get through this! Good luck with your mum!
“Fish tests on HER2” ? sounds intriguing - is that like the rabbit used for pregnancy tests?
Dilys and Dyzee -
we have another club - my husband has been taking Lanzoprazole for the past four years for Barrett’s condition (inflammation of the oesophagus)
The funeral went beautifully - there was a kilted piper outside the church and crematorium to pipe us in and out, but the weather was typically Scottish - cold, wet and blowy - we felt sorry for the poor man’s white knees! There were dozens of us there - children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren came from Scotland and we did lots of reminiscing together - we ended the proceedings with a toast of my uncle’s favourite Talisker whisky and the strains of “Time to say goodbye” - the last song my uncle heard before he died! Very sad but quite uplifting.
Sorry I havent read all of the posts, not feeling to good. Just wanted you all to know I am thinking about you and hope you are having good days.
Feeling a bit better today but still really queasy, tired and emotional - hey ho! It will pass.
Hope everyone is progressing well. I still leaking but only a bit, the main problem is I have a blister on the underside of my boob (allergic reaction to dressing) and it is taking ages to heal, if I put a dry dressing on then it sticks to it and starts bleeding again, I got an old bra yesterday and cut a hideous peephole in it so the air can get to it while the rest of it is supported, also I think I will wet the dressing before changing it to avoid the sticking. BLEURGH. Got first onc appointment on 22nd so not long to go.
Dyzee: you will catch up on all the news when you feel a bit stronger, take care and thanks for checking in but your main priority is YOU right now. We are all thinking of you and sending you hugs.
Maddy: yes, Grandad came back very proud of Evie Rose, he said her hands are only half the size of his thumbs! I think he had forgotten just how small newborns are. I work with families so I am quite used to babies but his youngest is 17 and that was the last time he held one. Glad to know Benjamin is going on Ok awwwwww. I love your tale about your neighbours…you never know what goes on behind closed doors, or in your neighbours’ case, you DO!
Dilys: have you had any probs with the Herceptin? I don’t know much about it and I hope there are not too many side effects for you.
Shonagh: How are the wounds coming on? Trust you’re continuing with not much pain, now did you get your visitor, that’s the question? I hope you coped Ok and I am thinking of you. Like you, I keep looking at headgear and thinking about what I would choose. I think I would be scarves, hats look silly on me. I have a really fashionable (and honest) friend and have already recruited her to help me choose. Not long now to wait for your results.
Wendy and Julie: sending you post-chemo hugs. Julie, how did the gig go?
Lovely to hear from you and so sorry about the leaks. It sounds awful. But herceptin has really not been a problem. Have yet another heart scan next Friday, but am so grateful that they check. The scanner is a lovely Australian girl called Mel who is such a sweetie. If there is a problem I think it lies in your heart, but it is so NOT chemo problems.
Have to go and feed starving husband now. Love to everyone!
Well I made it the visit is done. Now I just feel guilty as she brought me my childhood (and still to be honest) mum made cottage pie and rice pudding. I knew I would feel guilty its the being a daughter combined with raised catholic combination. It was bound to happen but she only stayed an hour and half and to be honest I just ran out of conversation so I think she got the hint rang my sister who lives round the corner and went round there. My sister had rung me that morning and told me to send her round when I had had enough but God bless Mum she went on her own steam. Poor sis has had an awful couple of weeks and is a midwife too and is on a night shift tonight so not sure how it went but its over with now. I have promised to go round straight after my results on Tuesday. I suppose she feels a bit lonely with all this, her and my dad split up a few years ago after nearly 40 years and I think she feels a bit alone even though she has a social network of fantastic women friends I keep thinking she must be a bit scared at nights. Its easy for me I’ve got Phil and all you girls in here to keep me going.
Louise: I cant believe you are still leaking, you poor thing. So far I seem to be dry. My WLE hasnt had any feeling at all (not sure if I have no nerves sue to flipping it back??) until today, a bit of a wierd tingle so have started with the parecetamol and asprin again and my node scar just feels really tight.Almost like a scab thats tightening round the edges. I managed to have a coulple of hours sleep on my left side this morning with use of multiple pillows.
Evie Rose sounds like she is keeping your spirits up. If I decide to go to the fancy knicker shop night in March I may just let them know I know of a specialist bra designer who has some fantastic design ideas. LOL.
Maddy: to be honest I’m not sure what a fish test is either. In fact I am going to google it now!!!
This is also a huge thankyou for letting me moan about relatives. I know I was being a complete mardy pants and I feel completely ashamed of my behaviour and I feel much more myself today.
BLOOMIN HECK!!! This sounds complicated. I have cheated and copy and pasted!!!
FISH TEST: The Oncologic Drugs Advisory Committee (ODAC) of the FDA has recommended the use of Genentech’s gene-detection test called FISH (fluorescence in situ hybridisation; Path Vysion) to identify women with HER2 positive metastatic breast cancer who could benefit from Herceptin (trastuzumab) therapy.
The recommended approval was based on a prospectively-designed analysis, which demonstrated that gene tests with FISH are reliable, accurate and have a high rate of concordance or agreement (88%) with the protein test used in trastuzumab pivotal studies to diagnose HER2-positive breast cancer. FISH is a diagnostic test used to determine the number of HER2 genes in a patient’s breast cancer cells using a fluorescent dye. If there are more than the normal two HER2 genes in each cell then use of trastuzumab, a targeted monoclonal antibody designed to block the cancerous growth-promoting products of the excessive number of HER2 genes, is recommended.
Hope today has been an Ok day for everyone. I have been into town and overdid things with the heavy bags, carrying everything on my good side. Oh well, I have come to a big decision, I am going to drop out of Uni (have been going one day a week and working the other four) and start again next September, it is just too much pressure to do the course, with missing teaching with radio and then onc appointments, which are of course on Uni days, law of the s*d. I feel a bit jittery at the enormity of this decision but it is the right one.
Still leaking but just drips. My blister stings so I am back on the peephole tonight, to try and dry it up.
Shonagh, have you got a science degree? That sounds very complicated, even though you are quoting from Google. Well, as long as the docs know what that means! Results for you tomorrow, best of luck. Glad you got through the visit Ok and it sounds as if she realised that you were tired in the end. As for my designer bras, I am taking out a patent straightaway, and then will be appearing on Dragon’s Den in due course! (not modelling it though, lol, it’s not the Horror Channel)
Dilys, glad you are Ok on the Herceptin, gosh you have been through the mill with all your treatments haven’t you my love? Anything to do with the heart sounds scary and I am pleased they are scanning you to check things out. How many weeks to hols now?
Maddy how is your skin healing? Can I ask you whether you have had aloe vera gel and has it helped at all? Did you use cool packs at all? I am wondering what to buy etc.
Chemo chicks Dyzee, Wendy and Julie, sending love to you all
Hi everyone,
Just a quick big Hug to everyone , and a little bigger hug to Dyzee today.
I went back to work today , it was good to feel useful and valued again, instead of a poorly woman with breast cancer, a friend gave me an old art easel recently too, could be the start of something new…
Maddy- loved the 'not toothbrush story! and the funeral sounded typically beautifully scottish, wonderful.
Hope everyone is well and has read and thoroughly digested what a FISH test is! Blimey Shonagh. But glad you are feeling better. Seriously though, speaking as one who’s mum died four years ago, just try and treasure her, however much she may annoy you! Thank god you have a helpful sister!
Louise - thank you! I am off on 22 february. Yippee! I feel a bit stir crazy but it will be all the better for being “new” again.Just got the credit card bill today - aargh!
Dyzee - how are you? Am worried!
Wendy, Maddy - much love my darlings. Hope you are ok?
