Diagnosed 29th - Hello Ladies.

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Hello Ladies,

Well its a lovely sunny day today so am determined to get out for a walk. Going to get the wellies out and go up the tow path. We are picking up the new car today so Phil is in a good mood, well he was last night. He’s on an early shift so leaves at 5am needless to say I didnt speak to him before he left this morning.

Dyzee: Believe me you dont want to hear me singing there are two things I never do in public strip or sing. Well scrap the strip thing as I seem to have to get by boobs out everytime I go to the docs or the BC clinic and I suppose when you have had your nipple flicked by a strange man in front of your husband all modesty goes out of the window LOL!!! Glad you had a lovely day and hope the grape juice went down well and hope the cold has cleared up now.

Dilys: Really lovely to hear you had a great day. You are well and truely on the countdown to your holiday now and this lovely sunshine today must getting you into the mood for that glass of vino on the riviera.

Maddy: Fantastic news about the reduction appointment. Hope you dont mind me asking but what is the difference in cup size between your breasts. I was a 36D and am now one 36D and one 36B/C and have been told to expect it to shrink and lift further with radiotherapy. My first surgeon(not the one who operated in the end) said they probably wouldnt want to reduce my other breast as its only a D to start with and at first when I had had the op with the swelling I didnt think I would bother but not too sure now. I’m really early days I know but I like to be ahead with questions and no you are not being shallow at all. Surely feeling a bit more like your old self is part of the starting to get back to “normal” whatever that means. I know we can never be that before BC woman again but hopefully we can be something far greater. “I am woman hear me roar!!” etc etc.

Louise: Sorry to hear your chemo has been put back 2 weeks but it sounds like they are keeping a good eye on you. For goodness sake please take it easy with your work commitments. I know you keep saying you and you are saying the leak is sorted now but its still not healed so take it easy girl. Lovely news about Evie Rose she sounds like just what you need and never mind being gnarled old bulbs just look at what happens to daffodils in the spring.
How lovely is the lady in the earring shop it restores your faith in people.

Julie: Hope you are starting to feel a little better and the sunshine is helping to pick you up a bit. (((hugs))) to you.

Well off to make the most of that sunshine I hope everyone is feeling as good as they can. Love and luck as always. Shonaghxx

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Hi Ladies,

Please accept my apologies for once again failing to respond to your messages. ( I really must get back to logging onto the computer more regularly ) - suppose it shows that life is returning to normal when you forget to log on.

I went back to work for a couple of sessions last week and have now got a bad infection - cold, catarrh, runny eyes, aching limbs - think my resistance may have been a little low after rads - its the first time in years that I’ve caught anything - and all those children are very free with their germs! Hope it doesn’t settle on my chest!!!

We’re supposed to be babysitting Benjamin on Saturday so I’m feeling a little down as we will probably have to cancel!

The physio has given me exercises and an appointment for next week - she’s diagnosed tenosynovitis (?) and suggests ice may help - it hasn’t so far but what the heck.

Dilys and Dyzee - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! I’m really sorry to have missed both your birthdays - you sound as if you both had enjoyable times.

Louise - how lovely for you to see Evie - 4 weeks is so very young.

Shonagh - If you keep walking along the tow-path we may yet meet face to face - we walk along the Grand Union Canal quite regularly! Not sure how to measure to check the difference in size of my breasts - I was 36E(+) - now when I lean forward my right nipple is around 1 1/2 inches nearer my chest wall (and my breast sits much more pertly on my chest when I stand up) so I think it’s probably B/C and as my nipples now point in different directions I’ve had to change the way I dress so I can’t wait to see the surgeon and get the wheels in motion again.

Love to you all
Maddy xxxxxx

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Hi All

We have been very quiet! Are you all ok? I am. Another lovely lunch with ex colleagues today, right in the middle of Chinatown with the dragons going around. Lovely!

Dyzee - how are you? Everyone - are you ok? May be staying away from this site means we are getting stronger???

Much love

Dilys
xxxx

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Hi all,

Me quiet now thats a first, I think I will print that out and show it to my boss. I was an "easily distracted"constantly thoughout my school reports and nothng has changed… Every appraisal I have at work is great work, great attendance, great time keeping…just keep the chatting down.
I too have been for lunch with ex colleagues. Bless them 3 of them drove all the way upto me and I have now discovered a fab new bar/grill/coffee place in Middlewich that I may just have visit again…often. I had a club sandwich that was fab and everyone else was really impressed too so good job all round.
Went to the GP’s today too just to give him an update on my treatment programme and my medication to see if I was sleeping or not. He has suggested going up another 25mg to 50mg as I’m still not getting a decent nights sleep. I’m not worryingoranything just wide awake but shattered. If I was a baby I think I would be described as overtired. Also brought up the feeling I am swallowing a lump on the right habd side and he thinks they may have caused an infection or some damage when they shoved the tube down for the op. Got some numbing gargle for a week if no improvement its off to an ENT specialist. FAB!!!
My new GP is great really down to earthand funny too. He classes me as one of his more interesting patients.

Well thats all my news. I still havent driven the new car yet. My little micra doesnt have power steering so dreading it but off to the seeside this weekend for a drive out. Chips on the front dodging seagulls with a thermos of coffee. Cant wait I love Llandudno in winter in fact I love all seeside towns in winter.

Hope everyone is well and looking after themselves and if you are back at work (Louise & Maddy) take it easy.

Love and luck Shonagh xx

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Well I am Ok and finshed work today woohoo, still leaking and off to the nurse again in the morning BAH

Will post properly tomorrow

love to all

Louise

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Thank goodnes for that Louise. Sorry to hear you are still leaking. Try to take it easy.
S x

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Hi everyone,
Im soooooo tired, after my 4 hrs at work I go straight to bed for a read and a nap, Im enjoying being at work, going to do a gentle dance class on saturday, something for me, then meeting friends and OH for mexican lunch, then home for dvd and rest,
sunday rest… my mum is coming down on monday for a few days, really looking forward to her visit.

Spring is here!!! Have a good weekend everyone,

LOL Julie xxxxxxx

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Hello Ladies

Hope you all have some sunshine this morning. I have been on my regular walk to the GP surgery and had my lovely wound dressed yet again, so far they have tried silver nitrate, seaweed and now a silver patch! I guess I am hoping that now I have finished work and can take thing steadier then that should help. To add insult to injury, I had my Mirena out last week and am therefore on day 9 of an awful period, which is a bit like after when you have a baby. So I am leaking both ends lol.

I have decluttered my bedroom this morning as I wanted it to be more pleasant for my post-chemo bit. I have a very crowded bookcase and can’t believe how much dust can accumulate on top of each book. So that’s enough for one day. I am planning an afternoon on the settee with Jeremy Kyle (!) and Tenko.

Dilys So glad you had a lovely birthday. Just think…from your birthday last year, what a journey over the last 12 months! Chinatown, I loved it when I was visiting London, we went for a very noisy meal and all along the street were little stools where you could perch and have a quick £5 massage

Dyzee A good birthday for you too, hope you coped a bit better with this chemo this time and are snuggled up recovering. Halfway there, you brave girl!!

Shonagh: Seaside sounds fab! Wish we were nearer the coast, mind you when I was a student I had digs on the Kent coast and we were actually on the sea front and boy, was it cold in the winter. My elder son was born in Scarborough and we lived there for about 18 months, that was great, wheeling the pram down to the sea. Oh your throat thing sounds horrible, poor you! My throat certainly hurt for a few days afterwards but let us hope the gargle does the trick for you, I don’t know about you but I feel as if I live at the hospital/doctor’s at the moment.

Julie: Sounds as if you have got a routine going now, glad you are managing to do some “nice” things amongst the chemo.

Maddy: Hope the treatment for your wrist will be a success. How’s your virus? Hope it doesn’t lay you too low and stop you babysitting, hey that will be great to have the boobs levelled up, mine look Ok when I am dressed but one nipple is much higher when naked, I know that rads might make this worse. So that’s great that they are sorting you out, I will see what mine look like by the end!

Love to all

Louise

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Hello Ladies,

What a lovely sunny day, Hope it carries on for tomorrow for my trip to the seeside. If its like this think I will try to talk the OH into a trip up the Orme too. That will certainly blow away the cobwebs.
Felt a bit low yesterday, no reason, just was but feel OK today. I think I need to write a list of to do things while I am off work and make the most of it before I start the daily trip to Christies for the rads.

Julie: Sorry I didnt realise you were working through while you are doing the chemo. Another BC babe showing far more courage than I have. Well done but take it easy will you. Especially after that frightening temp. you had the other week.

Maddy: Hope you are feeling better and you get to do your Benjamin shift. Thanks for the boob info sounds similar to me. The BC nurse said I would get a sliver to fill out my cup after the rads but I need to get the socks out for the moment. My scar has healed nicely but it hurts when I turn over at night unless its packed in tightly. Its just the weight shifting over and its not too bad but it does keep waking me up so an currently still sleeping in sports bra and secret support vest one size too small to pack them in!!! LOL. Oh and I’ll let you know if I plan on walking to the end of the tow path. We are on the trent and mersey. Our nearest pub is only 5 minutes if we turn right out of the garden so we dont often make it further, we did go left on our wedding anniversary last year and walked the 6 miles to the other nearest pub only to realise we couldnt get a taxi home so had to walk 6 miles back slightly worse for the wear back by moonlight. Can’t believe neither of us went in but it was a clear full moon so not too bad.

Louise: You poor thing, you have definately been in the wars but hopefully now you have stopped work you should be able to take it easy. Somehow I think you are going to be running around everywhere. When you have finished chemo will you be having the tamoxifen and zoladex and rads? Had a bit of a wobble last night about the 0.8% difference if I had gone through the chemo route but talked it through with the OH and calmed down again.

Dilys and Dyzee I hope this lovely weather has reached you both and finds you both in good spirits and raring to go after your birthdays this week.

Have a lovely weekend everyone. Lots of love Shonagh xx

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Shonagh

I think “wobbles” are normal. I get so down sometimes I could scream.Your seaside trip will help. As for the chemo, my onc stressed that the only reason I was having it was cos it was a Grade 3 tumour and if it was Grade 2 then he wouldn’t have recommended it, I hope that gives some reassurance?

I am taking it steady and just doing nice things with friends this week, Colin (OH) has Wednesday off so we will have a day out then.

enjoy the sunshine

Love, Louise

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Hi everyone,
The change in weather definately is lifting, its lovely to be out in the fresh air and sunshine, I was at the Horniman gardens in se23 this morning and could see down, right across London its such a clear day…
I ache all over from dancing, but definately worth it!!!
Louise my ‘beast’ was a grade 3, I say was ,because scans are clear now. I really hope you stop leaking soon and your wound starts healing.Dont over do it before your rads start, you need to be as tip top as possible b4 you start.
Dyzee hope youre feeling better since last chemo zap.
Love to everyone else,

Julie xxxxx

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Dear All

Isn’t it great weather? Julie I so agree. One of my ex colleagues is now a deputy director at the Horniman! Glad you enjoyed it. We have been down to the O2 (aka the Dome) for a look around. it was great.

Must go and cook some dinner now.

Love to all

Dilys
xxx

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Hello everybody

Glad to hear we have all been out and about in the spring weather. We went to York yesterday and had a walk by the river and I got a fab new top.

I have been to the nurse this morning and she is delighted with the progress of my wound (only a tiny leak now) and it looks like full steam ahead for chemo next week. Shonagh, I will have 15 rads after chemo and also Tamoxifen. How was Llandudno?

Dyzee Been thinking of you and hoping you are taking care of yourself.

Love to all

Louise

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Good morning ladies
Hope you are all well after the weekend. The sun is shining at the moment but it’s extremely cold with frost on the ground - very crisp and clear.

My wrist is aching more now than it did before I began the physio exercises so I’m really looking forward to my next appointment tomorrow - think it’s with pushing the pushchair!

Had a great weekend - babysat Benjamin (despite my lingering cough) - he was an absolute joy - I ignored the ‘rules’ and went up three times to put his dummy in when he went to bed (it’s inherent in grandparents to ignore the rules!) he’s not realised yet that he has control over his hands so spends a lot of time struggling to find them, knocks the dummy out before he’s gone to sleep and then gets frustrated.(just went in quietly, put it in, waited for a second, then walked out - such self restraint!) and he slept through till 2am from 7.30!
Can’t believe they are now recommending dummies as a way to prevent cot death though.

We had a great walk round the village ‘en famille’ and he actually stayed awake for most of it looking at his surroundings. He can hold his head up and focus on objects and is now beginning to chortle and talk ‘scribble’ which is really great.

Sorry to go on, but as I can’t send you the link to my web page you can’t see the pictures of how gorgeous he is !

Good Health to you all
Best wishes and much love
Maddy xxxxx

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Hi All

Maddy he sounds just gorgeous, and what a lovely weekend you have had. Never mind the aching wrist, eh?

And Louise - well done with the wound. What a relief.

I am just back from another inflation and managed 50ml this time. Phew. I have a rest now until 10 March as the surgeon isn’t there next Monday and then we will be away. Only 115ml to go.

Fog has cleared here and the sun is shinng again. Such bliss.

How is everyone else? Dyzee are you ok?

Much love

Dilys
xxxx

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Hello ladies,

Well another lovely day, just waved Phil off to work and about to tackle the kitchen. It looks like a bomb has dropped.
Llandudno was lovely but bizzare the whole of the UK semed to be in fab sunshine but the Welsh coastline was completely obliterated by mist and fog. Still we went for a walk along the front and to the end of the pier, had a coffee and walked back. It was really strange, very quite due to the fog and strange that on the pier once you were half way up you couldnt see land. Needless to say we didnt bother going up the Orme but as the day was so Phil could ive the new car a decent run out mission accomplished and it certainly got rid of the cobwebs.

Dilys: You brave thing sounds like things are going well with the re inflation. 50ml sounds a lot. Glad you got rid of your fog just seen the forcast for next couple of days and its looking like sunshine.

Maddy: So glad you got to spend the weekend with the other manin your life…Benjamin I mean of course. You are right about the Grandparent thing I dont have children but my Mum is terrible with both of my sisters kids. There are times when even I have had to reign her in on the things she lets them get away with. Like you said its a grandparents job to ignore the rules.

Louise: Great news on the leak and godd news on getting ahead with treatment. I hope you dont think I’m being a bit strange and wishing chemo on you but the quicker you start the sooner its finished. I was expecting 15 rads myself but there seems no definitive rule so 19 it is. Aparently the last four are targeted at the crater.

Julie: That view sound amazing and good to hear you are out dancing so soon after feeleing so grotty, you chemo girls amaze me and shame me into getting off my behind and feeling sorry for myself.

Dyzee: Hope you are OK and enjoying this lovely weather.

I dont know if its my imagination but my BC breast now its smaller seems to be defying gravity and looks 10 years younger than the other side so if rads makes it smaller and lifts it again I think I will be following Maddy down the getting the other side reduced. I keep getting twinges like someone is poking me in the boob but I think its because I am sleeping in a more normal position and I woke up on my front this morning. I wonder when you stop thinking every twinge could be something bad?? Thanks to all of you for your lovely thoughts. I feel really guilty sometimes when I read what others are going through but I am following my 3 day rule and now its time to get off my butt and stop feeling sorry for myself for at least a week.

Well off to make a coffee (I know but the green tea is a bit grim all day) wrap up and go outside to watch the birds fighting over the feeder and write a list of things I want to do before I go back to work included in the list the aforementioned bombsite kitchen!!! Love and Luck to all. Shonagh xxx

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Hello everyone

How are you all? I have had a busy couple of days enjoying myself, been out for a meal and also been to Ripon today (market town about 10 miles away). My leak is down to a 5p piece size per day and it is nurse again in the morning. Oh PLEASE let it just STOP so I can get on with my chemo!!!

I heard from my Uni tutor and she has suggested meeting up so I can sort everything out, I have got my deferment through to start again in September. As it is a Counselling course, it is important for me to have proper “closure” and do an emotional learning analysis for my journal.

It has been very quiet and tidy here as my two boys have been staying with their grandparents for a few days. They are back tomorrow. Before my dx we were about to have a new bathroom etc, about two weeks’ work. Since then we have decided to postpone it till the autumn (imagine me having chemo and having no bathroom, eek) so while they have been away we have tarted it up a bit to make it last till then

Colin said to me would you like to choose your own Valentine flowers even though it is not romantic? I said yes so we went to the usual florist. There were a few manky bunches of roses at £30 and a proper bouquet was £55. Is it me? We beat a hasty retreat to M and S and I got an armful of beautiful tulips instead.

Maddy how did the wrist appointment go? Glad you had a nice time with Benjamin. Evie Rose has posted a surprise present to me, I hope it is a photo!

Dilys is the inflation thing painful? How many times will you have to go back? I bet they all know you by name now, after all your treatments, in fact they probably know you inside out and back to front, you have been through the mill, you poor love.

Dyzee Thinking of you and hoping you’re “getting there”

Julie wow I can’t believe you went out dancing. Good for you!

Shonagh ,Glad that you don’t seem to be having dire effects from the Tamoxifen. Like you, I am up and down at the moment, but also like you I am keeping my sense of humour. Was with two lovely friends for coffee yesterday and there was a long discussion about hairdressers and having eyebrows waxed etc, I was sitting there bald and about to lose my brows lol lol I smiled inside. You know how organised I am? Well today I even bought a pack of thank you cards, in anticipation of having people to thank. That is on top of getting all birthday etc cards till the end of June, will save Colin a job when he running around waiting on me hand, foot and finger!

Take care everyone

Love Louise

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Hi all

Bombsite kitchen again!!! How do two people manage to cause such a mess. I think its all this time off work…with the day time telly, being in combats or yoga pants all day and messy kitchens…Oh my god I’ve become a student!!!

Just to say hope everyone has had a lovely Valentines Day. Love to all. Shonagh xxx

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Hello Everyone, i have just joined the site and have been diagnosed today with breast cancer. i am 38 years old and am feeling a bit lost. I felt so terrified just before they told me and as the day has gone on I feel relieved that I know what I have. next i am worried that it has gone somewhere else in my body. I can feel logical and relaxed one minute and then think that I do not want to die yet !! I have a supportive family and friends and my mum had breast cancer at 48 and is now 73 and have been talking to her but I still feel very alone and unsure of what will happen to me next

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Hi Rachy

You caught me tired and going to bed. But be sure we are all here for you my love. We have all been there and are all still here at our various stages. Just hang on and stay with us and you will be fine. Up, down, but fine. You aren’t about to die yet!

More tomorrow my love

Love and strength

Dilys
xxxx