Diagnosed 29th - Hello Ladies.

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Hi all.

Had first treatment of FEC on Tuesday, not too bad and aside from headaches and light senitivity which has made me very tired (although been wide awake since 2am) I can honestly say that I don’t feel at all yuckie - at the moment, have been warned that Friday could be the day as steroids will have worn off but forewarned is forearmed they say so have planned a nice dog walk - hopefully neighbour will join me - weather permitting. The GPs’ I work for have said that this years screening has detected a lot of BC and I know of 2 others dx in the same month as me. Have decided that I can’t cope with cold capping again as the pain for me was awful and I would spend the week leading up to it stressing about it and I think we have enough to cope with.

By the way can anyone tell me how their OHs’ are coping? Mine has been an absolute rock, worryingly so as I felt that he was possibly in denial and I was right! I’m having my chemo at home and when I was hooked up to drip and having drug injected he looked into room like a wounded puppy he came in a couple of times but couldn’t stay (daughter was there so he didn’t feel he had to). This evening he got very emotional and said that it made him realise that after all the delays it was real and he hated seeing me conected up and feeling helpless especially as I was so calm about it all. He won’t speak to anyone, son is the best one as he is 31 and an absolute star but he works for hubby and OH doesn’t want to mix 2 things - macho or what?!?

Anyway rambled on enough. Thanks for all support.

Maureen

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Hi Maureen

That was my experience too, that I didn’t feel too bad for the first couple of days and then when the steroids stopped, WHOOPS. I have had my meds adjusted for next time. Glad you got through it Ok anyway, just think each one done is one less to do. Don’t expect too much of yourself, I did not even go out of the house for the first four days!

Re OHs, I think experience is varied. This site does a great booklet called “In It Together” (download it from the Friends and Family section of the information stuff). He can also ring the Helpline if you think he would be able to talk to them. My own OH has “denial” as one of his main defence mechanisms and it has been impossible for him to be in denial while all this has been going on, leading to him trying to carry on as normal and then being found by his boss (my friend!) crying in a corner at work, he tried to be brave in front of me but then I said to him if he is too cheerful then I am a bit insulted that he isn’t more upset about it all (poor chap can’t win). What helped him in the end was that he phoned an old friend he has not seen for years and years, and talked out his feelings when I was out one evening. It also depends what their previous experiences have been. His last partner died and he found the bereavement very hard to cope with, and when I was dx all he could think of was that I would die too and that he was some sort of jinx on us both. Talking about that, acknowledging it to his friend, took a weight off his shoulders.

Unfortunately, I am not able to be the same strong support for him as usual and I have told him that, his role is to support me and he needs to find his own support elsewhere. Harsh but true. Shonagh talks about how she had to spend the first weeks after dx comforting and consoling other people, I did this too then realised that I was the important one in this scenario and stopped doing it.

Good luck with the coming days Maureen

Love

Louise

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Hi Maureen

Here is the link to the publication ‘In it together’ kindly suggested by Louise:

breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/inittogether_web_0.pdf

Best wishes
Lucy

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Hello lovely BC Babes,

Sorry I haven’t been around for a few days. It’s great to read about your adventures with treatment and your busy home and social lives. Long may it last.

I think l’ve got Spring Fever - I’ve been sorting the back bedroom for our daughter from Dublin who is visiting this weekend - I’ve been sorting cupboards to fit all the stuff we inherited from her Dundee flat and I use it as an ironing room (so that I can close the door if I don’t finish!) Ben’s cot was also in there so I’ve had to move that.(He’s visiting on Sunday - hoorah!) I’ve been spending lots of time on the “ancestry” site tracking our family tree - it’s very compulsive - and today I’ve been scarifying the lawn !

Wrist aching, no sign of splint referral yet. Foot still aching but the doctor says its just a soft tissue injury so we’re still walking - I’ve invested in some insoles with arch support which help - now I only limp after about 2 miles!!

Welcome Tricia and Maureen - as you can see from previous messages we are a very friendly and supportive bunch.

Good luck and good health to you all
Maddy xxxxx

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Hello everyone, Results are in now. IDC grade 3 2.5mm. Clear margins so no need for mast. Rads and chemo to be done. No mets and lymph nodes all clear which is good. Est+ pro- her-. Think that is all I know now.

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Almost the same as me Rachy, I think my tumour was 27mm though. So we will go forward and have our treatment and everyone on here will be supporting you. How are you feeling about it all?

Louise x

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Hello all,

Maddy…I think I know what you mean about the spring fever, I feel like I need to get going and moving. Not sure about cleaning the spare room but I am definately starting to think about getting back to work earlier that first planned. I have started my rads earlier than thought so I think I am going to try to get back to work as soon as possible. Family trees now I can understand how that gets addictive, any royalty or famous people. Phil and I watched the “Who do you think you are” programmes and found it really facinating. I just dont have the patience to do it.

Louise…I read your post to Maureen about other halfs reactions and I think it seems to be pretty across the board. Phil is insisting on driving me to every rads session and appointment. I’m convinced its because he cant talk about it much so if he is there in practical terms it makes him feel better so I’m not pushing it. We too had a similar conversation about support the day before DX when I was trying to get him to face up to the fact it may notbe good. His reply was “I cant think about it yet it took me so long to find you and I cant even think about the possibility of losing you”. It was realy sweet but it lead to the support conversation too.

Rachy…blimey you and Louise are really similar dx. It really helps when you are in touch with people on a similar path as you. Good news about your ct and nodes being clear.

Maureen…my other half is coping by doing practical things for me, driving me to appointment etc but he is really loving and supportive. He is like most men and has trouble voicing his fears and like I said above it makes him have to think about the worst scenario which he doesnt want to do. He talks to his mates about it but I think the whole talking about a mates wifes breasts can be a bit embarrassing. Its the difference between women and men we talk about things loads where men seem to talk about it once and that it. Chemo at home, blimey Phil nearly passed out when they took out the canula after the WLE.

Trish, Wendy, Ruby, Dyzee and everyone else. Hope you are doing well. Love Shonagh xx

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Hello ladies. I hope everybody is doing ok on this beautiful sunny day.

Shonagh/Custard I am doing fine thanks. Good to hear you’re now halfway through. I know it can be tiring. I organised a rota with my friends and family so that I didn’t have to drive myself to the hospital and it worked really well. I actually didn’t really feel tired. In fact I was at the gym yesterday and a gym instructor asked me how I was feeling and I said that I don’t really feel any different to how I felt before treatment. The only thing is I need more sleep at night time but then I do take something to help me sleep so think that may be why. I also have a suntan like you which is beginning to peel so must slap on the cream!

I’ve got a few issues to sort out generally with my life. Work won’t have me back on a part time basis so I have now sought the advice of the CAB and will follow their advice. Even though I’ve finished the main part of my treatment (except Herceptin) my white blood count is extremely low so I’m under observation and have to be very careful about germs. I’m keeping myself busy and out of mischief otherwise I just get bored. It’s weird feeling ok but not being allowed to go to work because of the low white blood count!

Rachy and Louise I’m pleased to hear that you have no spread - that’s excellent news.

Ruby xx

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Hi all,

Had a really bad day yesterday, could hardly lift head from pillow as felt as if it would explode so been forcing down paracetamol and feel better today, although poor dog had a very short walk this morning. I agree with all you’re saying about OHs’ mine really bucked up yesterday when I just couldn’t do anything he really felt useful and needed so I must try to let him into how i’m feeling more without becoming too reliant on him.

Thanks for your advise

Maureen

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Hello everyone, i am seeing oncologist on Monday for nextstage of treatment. It is good to hear of someone with similiar diagnosis to me like Louise. Not sure what it all means yet but sounds good that i have no spread anywhere else. We will have to keep in touch Louise to see how we get on. I spoke to work today and they sound like a load of old gossips so not going near them at the moment. I am getting quite bored and frustrated at the mo and am starting to take it out on my partner etc. not too badly but I know I am being short with them. Hope you are feeling better now Ruby. This disease changes you so much doesn’t it ? I feel I need to be doing something life changing or spectacular Don’t know why !!!

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Ruby, sunny day? Where do you stay? My work is fab.We have great conditioins of service so time off, support etc is whatever I want it to be.I intend to work as much as possible since I’m feeling absolutely fine just now.Off to Cyprus for a week’s break next week to find some sun then straight back for op on 3rd April.

I’ve been reading everything and find everybody pretty inspirational.I’m a compulsive list maker, so I’m stocking up on M & S vests,aqueous cream @ £1.99 from Asda, Aloe Vera and anything else you guys suggest I might need. Do you think a large suitcase is ok for hospital.I’ve got to include books,make up etc as well as PJ’s? Will it all fit in my locker? Oh dear decisions decisions.will I pack too much?

What do you do about deoderant and unshaven armpits? I don’t want to be hairy or smelly!

I’m having lots of sympathy lunches/pub meetings with mates just now.Honestly I think we’ve simply run out of ideas for thes meetings and had to come up with something a little more original than birthdays! I’ll end up having to join Weightwatchers.

Custard- I hate JK too.Cheap telly .Poor sods humiliated for entertainment.Aargh! How’s the shed? Op is 3rd April.Just got phone call today.I’m having a wee break in Cyprus next week to catch some sun(and a few cocktails) before I go to hospital. I have two boys linving at home,one married and one in RAF. All very matter-of-fact and supportive. Hubby is typical west of Scotlan male.Doesn’t talk about things, doesn’t cry. but is being extremely helpful about the house.It’s taken over 30years to train him, but I’ve done a great job!

Shonagh - I’m still apologising to folk for allegedly being “sick”.I feel a bit of a fraud as I actually feel pretty healthy.Mates are all brill!

It’s been really helpful keeping up with you guys.I don’t feel so scared and know that if I have an off day I can check in and all you mother hens will start clucking.

Take care everyone.Have a fab weekend.

Tricia

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Hello BC babes

How are you all?

Gosh I am tired; I have been up to York to Uni and seen my tutor, which turned into a counselling session (she is a counsellor!!!) and this was very helpful to talk through some feelings, I put a brave face on it too often I think. Then I met a couple of friends for lunch and came back on the train. We had a Chinese for tea, and son number two is at a disco, he is bringing a friend home for a sleepover and they are luckily both going off to footy training in the morning.

It was Parents Eve yesterday and the teachers ALL shake your hand so I wore gloves and just explained I was having chemo. My hair has started to fall out and it has grown back somewhat since the original headshave so there were wisps everywhere so Colin has shaved it all off for me. He was so sad, not what you expect to do for your wife only three years into your marriage…or indeed anytime, what am I talking about! So now I am a Velcro-head again and much happier as a result. TV tonight and a few glasses of vino later on methinks.

Shonagh That’s a good sign that you are beginning to look forward with work plans. An acknowledgement that your intensive treatment is drawing to a close, although obviously you have all the meds and emotionally it is certainly not over. Glad Phil has been so supportive. I am assembling a rota for rads ( I love lists) so that Colin can do a couple and other people can help out. We have got our shed supports and over Easter the demolition and construction will begin!

Maddy Sorry to hear that the wrist is not good and at least you can carry on with your walking to a certain extent. Spring fever? What’s that? I have not the slightest urge to clean or declutter anything, but I did have to shape up when I knew my Mum was coming, lol. Have a lovely time with Ben this weekend.

Rachy It is indeed a good sign that there is no spread HOORAY for you. The chemo will mop up any possibility of any little nasties. My onc said he was probably “overtreating” me (personally I will have whatever they throw at me) Yes, do keep in touch. You will feel less frustrated once the chemo gets going, it is the waiting that is so hard and wanting to just DO something!

Maureen Sorry you have been having a rotten time, just go with it and only do what you feel like. Yes men like doing practical things, they are solution focused, whereas sometimes I just want a hug and someone to say AAAAAH. Hope you feel better soon.

Hi Ruby Nice to talk to you. Sorry to hear of all the bother you are having with work. I wonder how long they think your white cells will take to recover? Is there anything you can take/do?

Tricia We are all in this together and it helps to come on here. How long will you be in Hosp? Make sure you take jamas that button up the front, difficult to lift arms for a couple of days. My own recommendation for hosp in some disposable ear plugs, after being in overnight when my wound “burst” and being shoved in a general ward where half the occupants were shouting out or up and down. Unscented baby wipes for your armpits! How fab that you have a holiday to enjoy!

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Hi ladies

Thanks for welcoming me to your thread.

Tricia I’m really pleased to hear your work have been so supportive. Unfortunately my work are just not playing ball and I’m having to go through the grievance procedure - not something I really need. But you know what I have the time to do this and when one of my friends said “can you really be bothered with this” I said yes! They are not going to get away with it. I think you should pack whatever you want and take it with you to hospital. I had loads of stuff but what I do remember is a lady nearby who had a shopping trolley and I’ve never seen so much stuff come out of it - it was like she’d brought everything and the kitchen sink! It was really funny. By the way I used Pitrock deodorant and i do shave my armpits (althought not much there as had laser hair removal a few years ago) but just be very careful when shaving - you are recommended not to in fact in case you cut yourself.

Hi Lady Chatterbox my white blood cells are a mystery and nobody knows why they’re doing this but the good news is that I can go back on Herceptin next week (it’s been delayed for 2 months due to low WBC). I’m trying to eat healthily and do whatever I can to bring them up anyway the main thing is I feel good and I’ve been absolutely fine - no colds, coughs or anything at all in fact so something must be working.

Wishing you all a great Friday and weekend and yes it was sunny in Hertfordshire today in fact it was beautiful.

Ruby xx

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Hi all,

I actually had a look at the calender this week and am going to try to get back to work for the first of April if I am up to it and they let me do part time for a month if not I will stick to the 14th April date.
Since I have made the decision to get back to work I feel really motivated and have got off my backside and tried to stop with the day time TV. We have just got back from the post office after picking up my parcel from America. I have bought two vests, one with Radiation Therapy gives me afterglow on the front and one that says Cancer Shmancer. Also got one for a work friend of Phil who has just had her boobs done after a lumpectomy for DCIS last year that says you dont scare me I fought breast cancer and won. Also been to the garden centre abd bought a cast iron trough/window box. Its under the kitchen window and I am going to grow my own lettuce and rocket this year. I’m absolutely sick of it going soggy in the fridge. Also bought a huge ceramic pot and a rubarb root and planted it all up. PHEW!!! its the most I have done in ages. When I finish on here I am tackling my office. Its a mess and I’ve loads of wedding stuff to catch up on and am starting to get phone calls for samples.

Well off I go. a bit of a whirling dervish but making the most of having the energy, I actually got up at 8.00am yesterday, went to visit my sister on the way home from rads, straightened my nephews hair (He’s 10 and wanted surf dood hair for a disco he was going to…I am the cool auntie!!!) and stayed for a chinese and went to bed after midnight. A record for me. I actually slept loads better (still with the help of the chemist) so I think I definately need to get moving.

Enjoy your weekend everyone. Hope you are all well. Love Shonagh xx

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Dear All

Hallo ladies. I am back from the South of France, and holed up at home totally unable to keep up with all your news since I went! Anyway I had a great time and the weather was lovely. I have a very silly looking face where most of it got nicely tanned except where the turban and false fringe were! Looks like curtains! My hair grew a lot but I am still not brave enough to go out with it uncovered (and probably can’t now till the tan fades!!!). We ate and drank really well, and lazed about people watching in various cafes and restaurants. Went and admired Monaco - just bliss. You can imagine how delighted I am to be back, can’t you? Can’t wait for more inflation on Monday and herceptin on Thursday. But I am looking forward to taking the chemo unit nurses their chocolate olives!!!

Hallo to all my old friends on here and a big welcome to some new ones! I can’t digest it all so will pick up as we go along!

Much love to all

Dilys
xxxxx

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Welcome back dear Dilys

We have missed you loads but delighted to hear that you had a wonderful time and had good weather. You can now call your turban your pelmet helmet!!

Shonagh, you made me feel tired just reading that! Well done, you. I so love the idea of the “you don’t scare me” T shirt.

Ruby keep looking after those white cells and good news re Herceptin

Love to all

Louise

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WELCOME HOME DILYS!!!

So glad you had a lovely time and got a tan too. Lucky you Will catch up withyou when you’ve had the chance to read upon everyones news.

Lots of Love Shonagh xxx

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I missed you Dilys!

Ladies I went commando in the gym today! I’m very proud of myself.

Louise I’m willing my WBC to sort themselves out and of course I’m very pleased to be part of the Herceptin club again.

Wishing you all a lovely evening.

Ruby xxx

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Hi Louise, Shonagh and Ruby

Thank you so much. I feel so welcome back and missed you all very much. I kept looking at people there wondering what they had been through. Can’t tell from the outside, can you? My husband is now taking photos of my head to show progress. Not sure I like it but I will love it when all this has passed. As things do.

Much love to all

Dilys
xxxx

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Hello BC babes

Had blood tests and was told if there was any problem they would let me know, They haven’t phoned so I guess it is full steam ahead for chemo number 2 tomorrow afternoon. EEEEK!

Love to all

Louise