Diagnosed 29th - Hello Ladies.

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621

Dear Shonagh and Louise

Hi there! No I am not just being brave at all - just made my eyes water a bit. But all in a good cause. I cannot tell you how stupid it looks right mow but my engineer husband tells me he can see the dynamics of how it will work… Bless him. It will ease off from now on I am sure.

Shonagh last rads! Isn’t it a great feeling? What next for you then? Are you feeling ok? I quite missed it for a couple of days but it soon wore off!

Louise - sorry you were down. It happens doesn’t it? Hope you are ok again now?

Much love to all

Dilys
xxxx

622

Hello Ladies,

Well I’ve had my last rads today and saw my oncologist too. The rads girls were lovely, gave me a mini cheer and everything. They had me in stitches every day. They were really lovely and wouldnt have been able to do it without them being as nice as they were.
We were going to go out for somthing to eat afterwards but Phil is full of a cold and he has been such a sweetheart driving me to every appointment so I took pity on him. I was at a bit of a loss as what to tomorrow but BT have solved my problem and I am now waiting in for an engineer. My skin seems to be holding up. I have been slapping on the hydrocortisone twice a day so fingers crossed.

Dilys…Phil is an aircraft engineer and was really chuffed when they let him have a look in the rads room today. Had quite a conversation about lazers. BOYS!!! What are they like. It makes my eyes water just reading about your inflations, I bet you are counting down the days until the 12th May. How soon after the 12th can you get the reconstruction done, I’m not very clued up on time scales.

Maddy…Are you packed for the weekend. Just in case I dont write again before you go hope you have a lovely time and enjoy your 24/7 with Benjamin.

Louise…are you seeing Evie Rose over Easter?

Sorry got to go the cat has just yacked everywhere. Bloomin fur balls!!!

Hope everyone else is well. Love to all. Shonagh xx

623

Hi Shonagh

Wow your life sounds like mine right down to the cat! Aren’t fur balls lovely? Well done you finishing rads so well. Isn’t it good? And good luck with BT tomorrow. I am going to be waiting in for guys to clear my back yard which was sadly neglected last year. Wonder why???

Inflation is fine. Mine is a permanent implant known as a Becker so all that is left is for them to let it down a bit and remove the port (valve) through which they filled it. Doesn’t do to dwell on it too much, I find. My husband finds it all fascinating technically too. Eurgh, say I! Just wait until the surgeon lifts the unaffected one to match…

Sleep tight and much love

Dilys
xxxx

624

Hi BC Babes,
Sorry I haven’t been in touch - just to let you know I have been thinking of you all.

Wrist still hurting (no sign of referral for splint!) - hurt my back last week - lifting shopping out of car without using wrist - went to switch the computer on and couldn’t move for the pain!!! then two days ago I went to the hairdresser and fell over the hidden step in their washroom - twisted so I didn’t bang my head on the wall, sat on my bottom with a very loud bang, but seem to have cured the back pain!!! Foot still hurting but still walking.

Caravan at Hoburne Cotswolds (Sth Cerney) this weekend - hope the weather doesn’t take the turn for the worse as predicted! - sleeping arrangements sound a little complicated - Benjamin’s daddy doesn’t feel safe putting him in a room on his own (people could open the window and run off with him) so we’ll have to see how big the rooms are to accommodate the sleeping cot (always assuming Benjamin feels like sleeping in it!)

Will let you know how things go when I return.

Happy Easter to you all

Lots of love
Maddy xxxxxxx

625

Dear Dilys, Shonagh, Maddy and all

Hope everyone is Ok on this blustery morning. I finally woke up with some of my customary get up and go so hopefully that is chemo number 2 knocked on the head. There is great excitement in the house as the shed quivers on its foundations before tomorrow’s demolishing. The new one will be built on the same site but Colin is re doing the wood foundations and there is a little lean-to (as we say in Yorkshire) at the back that needs smoothing out and including in the new foundations. I am going to pretend to feel sick again and just recover in time to fetch the traditional Good Friday fish and chips at lunchtime, after which of course I will need an afternoon nap lol.

Maddy Great to hear from you, I am sorry to hear of all your ailments and how strange that your back should be cured by a fall. Make sure you wrap up in that caravan. You will manage with Ben, they are bound to be a bit nervous with him being a first baby. Evie Rose’s Mum was sposed to be coming over one Saturday but she hasn’t said when. We got some more photos this week. It is the christening in 4 weeks, I am not going cos of the chemo and also cos I am not prepared to appear in front of all my husband’s ex in-laws and wifey, wearing a b***** headscarf.

DIlys, I have this picture of your resident engineer drawing you a diagram of the mechanics of it all. What have you got planned over Easter? Some friends have kindly invited us all over for Easter Sunday lunch so that will be lovely. Did the chaps come re your back yard? I have got my 13 year old off on school holidays now, so although he entertains himself, the question “what’s for lunch?” has already been floated though it is only 11am. Boys will be boys.

Shonagh TAN TARRA!!! That is my trumpet fanfare to celebrate the end of your rads. Well done you. Now a chance to get ready for the big day on April 1st I know you mentioned on another thread about how everyone expects you just to go back to “normal” now the main treatment is over, be kind to yourself, it is a big thing we are doing here. That’s why I decided to see a counsellor, I want to get my head round it all and I am sick of trying to live up to “noble” image that people project onto me. At least you will get your Easter dinner cooked for you, like me, and not have to cook hehe. I have to go to work a couple of times next week before I get my next chemo sick note. It has been good to work a bit from home and keep my hand in.

Happy Easter to everyone, love to Rachy, Tricia, Maureen, Ruby and Julie as well

Louise

626

Hello ladies

Just a quickie to say have a really lovely Easter and enjoy your weekends. Not sure how much I’ll be online.

Lots of love

Ruby xxx

627

Hello all, Happy easter to you all and enjoy yourselves. Forecast snow so hope none of you stuck anywhere you don’t want to be .

rachy xxx

628

Hi All

And a very Happy Easter! Chilly here but no snow yet. Shame in some ways. I am having a lazy day today, ready for some hungry men to arrive tomorrow. One of them has a birthday so we are feeding them and then all watching the Malaysian GP rerun. I’ll do most of the cooking today in readiness. And Monday we are off to my step daughter’s and the grand children so we shall be busy.

Maddy - hope you are feeling better? What a chapter of accidents eh! And Louise, hope the shed goes well? My yard is now blissfully clear again and I shall spend time thinking about how to fill it up again. I really is too early at the moment - not just me being bone idle.

Love to everyone

Dilys
xxxx

629

Hi everyone and Happy Easter for tomorrow,

I’m having a bit of a panic at the minute, it turns out the Dusolepin I am on to keep me sane may have a contraindiction with tamoxifen so I have started a question on the tamoxifen thread in the hope of getting an answer that will calm me down until I can speak to my onc and or BC nurses. It couldnt have come at a worse time, had a text from one of my absent friends asking is I am in on the 31st March for a visit, I was going to text back but just rang instead as I’m not avaialble as have an appontment at my breast clinic (hopefully to get the OK to go back to work on the 1st April) and ended up just breaking down crying and I couldnt even be bothered trying with the “I’m fine” Think I shocked her a bit coz I told her I felt vey isolated and if I dont get a visit with cancer when would I. Blimey if you knew me you would be shocked. I never tell people how I feel. Should try it more. We moved to this house 18 months ago and outof the blue she turned up with her hubbie and the kids today. My Flabber was well and truely GASTED!!! God I hope this dusolepin issue turns out to be OK not sure I can cope going back to work with no sleep and a minor nervous breakdown!!!

Well enough of that.
Maddy…I hope you are having a lovely time with unrestricted Benjamin access. We used to go to our Grandparents in Scotland every Easter and I loved every minute of it. That fall sounds nasty but at least it sorted out your back. My mum is waiting for a splint for her rhumatoid atheritis and its driving her mad so hope yours comes quickly. Arent you due for an appointment in April to look at re aligning your good boob?
Dilys…Sounds like the feeding of the five thousand for you. Well done for you getting all the prep out of the way. I’ve made the meringue part of my raspberry almond pavlova today. Will be whippng the cream and assembling tomorrow. I use ground almonds in the meringue to make it just that little bit chewey in the middle(its the way we like it…wierd I know).
Louise…That shed shurely must have blown over all on its own with the awful weather. We have had hail, snow, rain, wind, sun, more wind. So nice to hear you are being looked after on Sunday, we are having salmon so I am really looking forward to it, I would always rather have fish that meat any day.
Really sorry you have been feeling low too but glad to hear you have picked up a bit too. You inspired me and I went to the chippy yesterday. I’ve not had chippy fish and chips for years. YUM!!! I think this living up to the noble image is what finally did me in and now with the pressure of not being able to take the tables intil i get re assurance GRRRR!!!
Ruby…How are you. After your herceptin posting I was really impressed with your attitude. I think I need some of it at the minute. It may be just the going back to work colly wobbles so I’m sure i’ll be fine. Hope you are far too busy having a lovely easter to read this until next week.
Julie…Hi hun how are you, hope you are doing ok and handling the chemo ok.
Rachy…we had snow but it didnt stick it bloomin cold and blowy though. I dont think we will be out rolling our eggs tomorrow!!!

Well thats all for now, It sounds worse than it is honestly just my rubbish friends finally getting to me. I have organised a luch with some other friends from work who have been absolute diamonds, kept in touch, been up to see me, dragged me out for lunch etc so I am going to treat them to say thank you. If this has taught me anything its to make the most of your time.

Love to all. HAPPY EASTER. Shonagh :o) xx

630

Hello BC babes

How are you all? Hope everyone had a fab Easter. Ruby, did you get much snow up in Hebden Bridge? We had a lot but every day it had gone by lunchtime. Hope you had a lovely time! Maddy, I hope you stayed warm in your caravan. I bet you kept Benjamin warm with lots of cuddles anyway! Evie Rose was sposed to come over Easter Sunday but they had to cancel cos they had so much snow. Rachy and Julie How are you?

I have been the usual “lady who lunches” over the weekend. I am getting to like it! We have had a couple of trips out and a boozy night out as well. Today my friend is picking me up and spiriting me away for a posh coffee. I am at work on Wednesday and Friday but will take it steady. Chemo number three next week!

Dilys, did your meal go well? What did you make? We went to friends for Sunday lunch, wow she had to cook for 9 people, I took my buff off to her (metaphorically). Shonagh well done you for telling that “friend” about how you felt, I wonder if we are going to notice a change in aspects of our personalities because of this disease? I am less irritated by small things, certainly. You will notice such a difference when you go back to work next week. Take it steady, chuck and try not to worry too much about your possible clash in drugs, talk to the onc this week asap though.

Love to all

Louise

631

Hi all you lovely ladies.

I’m back again. It’s hard trying to keep up with all the threads. Hope you all had a lovely Easter break. Hebden Bridge was absolutely lovely and I really had a good time. Trying to get back into the swing of things now.

Louise - a little fluttering of snow which was really beautiful. I love the snow. The hills were covered in snow which was lovely and it was mighty cold but also sunny which made it really nice.

Shonagh when are you going back to work? I really need to but can’t until signed back on and in fact don’t think I’ll be going back to my old job anyway!

Lovely Dilys - I never know whether to chat with you on this thread or the other one now!

I hope you are all doing well.

Lots of love

Ruby xxx

632

AAAAAAAAgh !!! Easter in the Cotswolds !

The static caravan was great, the site was great, the swimming pool was great, the evening entertainment was great - and then the power went off!

We had been out to the pool on Friday afternoon (Ben loved it) and returned to the van at 4pm to discover there was no electricity - instant panic because Ben needs his bottles warm - thankfully Karen had boiled water already in them ready for mixing later and there was enough hot water in the tank to warm them - no showers for anyone though to conserve the hot water for him !

As there was no gas for heating or cooking and the temperature fell very quickly in the van we went out and found a really friendly pub in a nearby village (log fires,light and music!) for an evening meal - unfortunately the power was still off when we returned -so we all slept fully clothed under layers of blankets and duvets! Talk about Third World conditions ! Poor Benjamin - we left him in his car seat (just had to edit this bit because it sounds as if we left him in the car!!!) and put that in the cot in their room so as not to disturb him and just added more layers of blankets to keep him warm. He went into mummy and daddy’s bed when he woke at 5am but didn’t like his bottle because the temperature wasn’t right.

The power stayed off until 9.15am but then stayed on all day - unfortunately, the next morning, it kept going off again so we all decided to come home because there was no guarantee how long it would stay on (or off.)

Oh - and I caught the toe of my boot on the steps leading down from the van, twisted my left foot under me, slipped down three steps and have a beautiful black middle toe which got squashed when I sat back onto the twisted leg !!!

The Good News is - we are all fine - and I’m looking forward to seeing the surgeon on 7th April about the restructuring of my breast.

Hope you all had a much better Easter break
Lots of love
Maddy xxxxx

633

Hello all,

Well I’m still here, havent had a meltdown yet!!! but have decided from now on I am only going to look at threads where I am already involved. I had another right panic last night when I was told that Zoladex 3 monthly isnt licenced for breast cancer (not what you want to hear when you have just had a 3 monthly version!!)
I dont know one minute you are having a nice conversation about how well you feel and the next minute you are a gibbering wreck wearing out your finger nails typing into GOOGLE. ARGGHHRR!!!
Right thats got that off my chest, I seem to have got myself on track without the Dosulepin but they were obviously helping with the hot flushes coz I have to strip off very quickly a couple of times a day. This is going to cause a few raised eyebrows at work especially as I have a tattoo on my back that not many people know about. LOL!!! I am still using sleeping tablets to get me to sleep but am going to try with just half from tonight. When I go back to work my first week is an early shift so will be getting up at 5.30am so am hoping by bedtime I will be knackered and able to get into a pattern again without tablets.

Ruby… I am back in next Tuesday (1st April) I am only doing 3 days and as its an early I only have to do 7am to 1pm. I have arranged to go to lunch with 3 other girls afterwards to celebrate too. We all started about the same time so have known each other for 10 years and have all had a bit of a grim time the last 12 months but honestly they have been so great with me so I am going to treat them. They deserve it, one of them lost her mother in the middle of my treatment and she still made time for me…what a star.

Louise…How did the shed demolition and raising go, I kind of imagined it being a bit like wheen they raised the barn in witness. If you have a Harrison Ford look alike send him round will you. We were supposed to have the work starting on our drive and shed base today but they rang us at 7.30am to tell us they couldnt come as the rain meant weelbarrowing the rubbish up the planks into the waggon was too dangerous. Couldnt believe it especially since it stopped raining at 10am and is now sunny!!!

Maddy…Did you have a lovely time with the family, I was thinking of you on Sunday especially when we got to my sisters and they had snowmen, we hadnt had a single flake so was surprised they had so much only 26 miles away. Did you have any? Lots of snuggling to keep warm I hope. Oh my Mum has got her appointment for her splint/paddle thing. Its to stop her fingers curling up. Its on Tuesday so get on the phone and get them to sort it.

Dilys, Rachy, Julie and all…hope you are all well and keeping warm. Just seen the forecast it says its going to be wetter but warmer, bet it gets sunny just in time for me going back to work.

Keep well all of you. Love Shonagh xx

634

Hello one and all
Wow I went back to work yesterday, it was great to see everyone and we had a meeting about future plans. It was a sheer novelty to have my opinion consulted about things again whereas I have spent the last 3 months just being told what treatment I am having, what appointments I have at the hospital etc etc. I am working at home today and back to the office on Friday, then off sick again for chemo. I think I will be off sick for 14 days, although in the later stages I will do some work from home then a week at the office then back for the next blast. That seems like a good compromise.

The new shed has arrived, it looks very smart and I asked Colin whether he would be eating his meals in there from now on. The two of them loved the demolition day and I took several photos of the various stages. There were four trips to the tip. This weekend it is getting all the stuff sorted out and other gardening things, like we have got some log roll to edge the lawn with and frame one of the flower beds.

I saw the counsellor yesterday for the first time and what a relief to be able to talk things through, talk about verbal dysentery! I realised that my main feeling about BC is actually frustration ie it isn’t in my control and neither is much about my treatment programme, also the annoyance of real life just sort of “stopping” for six months. And the awful frustration that other people just don’t understand what it is like to have this!

Maddy AAAGH indeed, you did the right thing packing up early. Our neighbours went to a caravan park near Scarborough and the power went off there too, they were frozen solid. You do seem to be very accident prone at the moment, how’s your toe? No news on the wrist splint yet? I would be tempted to see if there is a private facility near you where you could get treated, I know that’s not the point and we pay in our taxes for treatment but it is awful for you to be untreated for so long.

Ruby Glad you had such a nice time, welcome home though. Have you made any decisions re work? Sounds as if you may well have to make a fresh start, good luck with everything.

Shonagh You will really benefit from the return to work, those colleagues of yours have been fab through your illness and better than some other people we could mention, ho hum. How did you sleep last night? Hope you weren’t too overheated, that is when I get the flushes, in bed (and haven’t even started the Tamox yet lol). You have a check up on Monday I believe?

Dilys Woohoo how are you? Hope that there is now less ouch re the inflation and you are having some nice days.

Love to everyone including Rachy and Julie

Louise

635

Hi everyone,

Just got back from Cyprus and feeling tanned and healthy! Holiday was very relaxing apart from the eye infection which made me look oriental,the cigarette burn I got on my arm from a very careless fat lady and the usual mossie bites on my legs! Kids kept the house really clean.Either that,or they cleaned up well just before I got back.No sign of a mad party or any damage to precious ornaments and furniture. However, they’re not that perfect, they forgot to get fresh bread and milk for our return!

Op is on Thursday so I’ve got more pain to look forward to.Ain’t life great!

Seriously,I’m actually feeling very positive and will just be glad when it’s all over and I have time to read some books and watch rubbish on the telly.Family and mates keeping my spirits up with their lovely emails,texts phone calls etc.

Louise, it’s great to see you’re getting back to a normal life being back at work.Hope it all goes well. Same to you Shonagh, I hope your return work works out fine.

Maddy, I hope your wrist is healing.I’ve been trying to practice doing things with my left hand so that I find it a bit easier when I’m out of action after the op.Can’t think how I’ll fix my hair. Hubby and boys are hopeless.They’ve tried to do it for me a couple of times.My hair is long and thick.Might just try a Gothy look!

Dilys,Rachy Ruby , et al- Hope you all had a fab Easter.

636

Hallo All

Just to let you know that Ruby is in hospital with a kidney infection. Poor love - she does not need that. Will text her again soon and let you all know how she is doing.

Weetricia - good luck with the op! Glad to hear you are feeling so positive!

Must dash to cook dinner but more later

Much love

Dilys
xxxx

637

Oh poor Ruby, please give her our love, aint it just the pits?

Louise x

638

Hi All

Texted her again yesterday and we hope she may be out on Monday. Fingers crossed. I’ll let you know how it goes. I am sure she is better being cared for in hospital. But she is such a love, she does not need all this stuff.

Isn’t it a beautiful day out there though? Can’t believe the sunshine! Hope you have all had great days.

Much love

Dilys
xxxx

639

Hi all,

Just to add my best wishes to Ruby, hope she is home tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and sending out good vibes to you.

Love and luck to everyone else as always. Got my 3 month check tomorrow. GULP!!! Does it get easier or do we get this nervous every time. Feel like my heart is going to burst out ofmy chest not that I’m being dramatic or anything. LOL!!!

Shonagh xx

640

Hello Ladies, Best wishes to Ruby and hope you feeling better soon. First chemo tomorrow 12pm epi. Good luck shonaugh for your check tomorrow. i think i will have to speak to a counsellor as I am horrible to my OH and others. My return to work has not been a success so will have to rethink. Hope op goes well for you weetricia.

Rachy xxx