Diagnosed 29th - Hello Ladies.

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Hello all,

WOO HOO!!! I have won just over £100.00 on the national today. Managed to get 1st 2nd and 4th on each way bets.

Julie…Congratulations on having your 5th, gosh I cant believe its your last one next time. Its one thing me missing one out but almost volunteering for an extra one. Under the circumstances I can understand it though. Hope you are feeling ok with it and the yucky stage isnt lasting too long. I cant believe you are still working through. I was only working 7am to 1pm 3 days last week and felt absolutely wacked on Friday. I was really glad I wasnt going in although I had friends over last night so had to sort the house out.

Dilys…Is the flame thing being televised? and if so I am going to record it so what colour is your turban?

Louise…How are you feeling after your chemo, are you startingto get over the yuck stage too. We went shed shopping today, I use the term shed but more like Phils cave of rubbish. We have decided on one with a 4 ft veranda on the front so you see why I am reluctant to use the word “Shed” dont want to insult his new den.

Rachy…I have said it before to you chemo girls you amaze me and how you Julie and Louise have managed to drag yourselves into work is beyond me. Please take care of yourself and as Louise said to me when having rads be kind to yourself too.

Maddy…good luck for tomorrow hope it goes well and hope that splint hurries up and gets sorted too.

Ruby and Tricia hope you are both ok, I know Tricia was in hospital again for surgery so hope you are ok and Ruby hope you are well after your nightmare

I have no more news. Still plodding on with the tamoxifen and zoladex, no news just back on the hamster wheel of work, although it is nice to talk about rubbish sometimes I am finding it hard every time someone complains about something trivial to stop myself screaming bu so far I have avoided that. Just because i have changed its not fair to expect other people to, their lives have carried on as normal.
I hope you are having better weather than me at the minute, it pouring down here and has been all day. Very grey and grim.
Love and luck to everyone, love Shonagh xx

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Hi Shonagh and all

Lovely to hear from you Shonagh my love. I keep thinking about work (would be a new job in my case) and putting it off. After working fulltime plus since the middle ages I can’t quite get my head around going back. I know I have to but…

Nio idea if the Flame will be televised from round here. I am only a few hundred yards from the Olympic site but Downing Street may be more interesting. But the turban will be either black or navy! I’ll be waving and taking photos!

Lots of love

Dilys
xxxx

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Hi Ladies,

Well I survived the surgery.Had about 5 different doctors popping in and out at various stages of treatment/surgery. Hubby says they just wanted a look at my great t…s. I think he was being supportive! I found the pre op stuff more hairy than the surgery itself.Probably because I was awake, I suppose.The first doctor couldn’t get the wire thingy in and had to call another guy in.Apparently my lump was in an awkward place.Don’t I just know that!! Can you believe I apologised for being a nuisance.My mum brought us up well,my own kids are very mannerly too!

I shared a ward with a smokiing Cliff fan who suffers from depression.She told me about every op she’d ever had as well as all her family problems.I think that helped me to appreciate that a wee bit of cancer was manageable with my lovely mates and fab family.Another day or so and I’d have been asking for anti-depressants.However, I managed to get by on a couple of painkillers and have only had 2 today.Scars are a bit bigger than anticipated.I tnink I’m just feeling a lot of discomfort, but feel ten times better than with my wisdom tooth extraction.Even that put childbirth in the shade. Hubby a wee bit shocked at the size of the scars.Some of the other ladies in the adjoining wards were lovely.One woman had a mastectomy and was up and about in a couple of hours.She was amazingly positive and an inspiration.

I’ve only been off work for 2 days and my boss has gone to another job.I hope I’m not out of action for too long or I could be the stranger in the team when I get back.

Rachy- Cheer up, life could be worse-I could have sent my wardmate to keep you company.
Dilys- Sorry I missed your telly debut.I slept today and haven’t seen any Olympic stuff.What a lazy git I’ve become.Please forgive me for not seeing your designer turban.
Shonagh- Ha Ha! I got a bit of sunshine today and you got the rain.Well actually, it was accompanied by snow-but sunshine is still sunshine no matter the temperature.

I’m going to have to get back to the gym soon.I scoffed a box of choccies with my hubby & kids.People keep sending gifts to me.I’ve had bouquets and fruit, beautiful toiletry sets and choccies.It feels like Christmas.This must be the silver lining folk talk about.Get cancer and everyone is lovely to you.I hope I don’t turn into a spoilt brat! At least the nice smelly things don’t pile on the calories .
Best wishes to all of you.I have to go and write up a list of the housework I’m not allowed to do tomorrow and allocate tasks to the family. Lif’e’s tough eh?

Tricia
XXX

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hi tricia
ive never been on this thread before as i am further on treatment plan but just had to let u no that i think i need to go to a&e as i think i have burst my stitches and developed an incontinence problem while reading yr posting. im still laughing to myself re cr fan and her ailments. if u do decide u need antidepressants i can recomment 40mgs of prozac. so glad u got through yr surgery and i wish u well with yr future treatment
best wishes
maria

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Hellooooooo

Hope everyone is Ok today. At last I feel more like myself (day 8). I had a rotten weekend and although I am coping with the physical symptoms, the feelings of depression are a different thing. I actually sat there yesterday and thought “I just can’t go on with this, I am going to tell them I don’t want the other three chemos”. I must, must remember that this is just a stage and that all of a sudden (as has happened this morning) I am Ok again and ready to fight on. HOORAY!

Dilys How are you? Did you enjoy the Olympic Torch parade? I did tune in for it, in the hope of viewing The Turban but of course they didn’t show any normal people, just all the rioting.

Shonagh How is work going? It must be strange to go back to “real life” and yet maybe you feel different as a person? Take it steady now as rads really knock you out for several weeks and you will still need plenty of rest. When are you getting the new shed (or should I say extension? Lol). Well done on your win. I chose a horse and pretended I had put a fiver on it each way, I wish I had now as I would have won £60.

Tricia I agree with Maria, you really made me laugh with the description of your wardmate. How are you healing? Don’t eat too many choccies!

Rachy I think maybe working is a lot to ask of yourself through chemo, hope you’re feeling a bit brighter today ((HUG))

Ruby, Maddy, Julie sending love to you all

Louise x

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Oh ladies - I love reading your stories when I return for a top up - sorry I haven’t been in touch. I really do feel for those of you who are having chemo, rads or ops - now I’m out the other side it seems like years since I was going through it all !

I have an apology to make 'cos I think I’ve been wasting your time recently - I went to see the Restructuring team yesterday. Showed both my breasts to the surgeon and he agreed that I can have my left breast reduced to ‘match’ in three or four months time -

HOORAH I hear you say …
then I drove home…and changed my mind !!!

He did such a good job explaining the operation and possible associated problems that it gave me second, third and fourth thoughts about the whole process - especially since the operation will result in much more scarring than the two WLE ops did and as a result will probably not match my other breast anyway ! I’m going to wait until after our summer holiday to see if I feel any different - but I think I’m probably NOT going to risk it. I find it hard to believe that he can’t just do a WLE type op around my nipple to make it ‘match’ - the recovery time is much quicker !!!

After watching the Body Shock Elephant Man programme last night I began feeling rather shallow for even considering surgery !

Benjamin is teething (!) and driving mummy and daddy mad waking up screaming in pain - just when he’d got a good nightime routine going. He’s also just got a baby bouncer to hang in the doorway which he absolutely loves - can’t wait to see him in action at the weekend.

Still no sign of a splint!!!

Lots of love to you all, Maddy xxxx

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Hi ladies

Hope you are all ok today. Can’t decide whether to go gyming today (went yesterday).

Maddy I can’t wait to have reconstruction but it’s a little way off for me still as I was told I’d have to wait at least 2 years for it. It’s very nerve wracking and I can completely understand that you may change your mind and that’s ok it really is.

Louise pleased to hear you’re feeling a little better now. Rachy hope you’re not feeling too bad. I so remember how rough I felt especially whilst on Taxotere. I was completely wiped out for about 4 days and all I could do was sleep literally from the moment I got home from hospital and I hated the way it made me feel.

Shonagh hope work is going ok for you. I’ve got my work meeting next week - kindda dreading it.

To all the rest of you ladies have a lovely day.

I’ve got blood tests tomorrow then seeing oncologist about white blood count and herceptin. My white blood count should be up now because of the injection I had a week ago so praying that it is so that I can have the herceptin.

Lots of love

Ruby xxx

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Hello all, i am at work today ! so a good day today in all. New meds helping me mentally and am getting proper nights sleep now which helps. I hope all you ladies are feeling ok today and thank you for the hugs and messages of good will when I waas at my lowest and most miserable.

Rachy

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Hi All

Wow - you have all been busy!

Rachy - glad you are feeling better, though I still worry about you trying to work at this point!

Ruby - good luck with the bloods tomorrow my love. I shall be thinking of you and unusually for me, praying!

Oh Louise I do remember that feeling so well. But it DOES end and it is great when the battering stops. This Thursday will be the first anniversary of diagnosis for me and I can’t believe how far I have come. I very nearly didn’t put my hat on when the window cleaner knocked at the door this morning, and was quite cross in fact that I did!

The Olympic torch flashed past on Sunday but peacefully here at least and I managed a great photo. Expect it will be back in 2012 as I am on the edge of the Olympic Park, and determined to be here to see it again. Sorry you all missed the smart turban!!!

Loads of love to all

Dilys
xxxxx

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Hi lovely ladies,

I’ve been a busy girl today.Removed my dressings (painful!) and had a real good look at the scars.Yeugh! At least I’m not squeamish as I nursed around 30years ago.I’m doing my own dressings so that I can do things in my own time.All looks well(ish).Went for a run (in the car-I’m not that fit/daft yet!) with hubby and got Indian takeaway for tea.

Getting tons of emails/texts phonecalls from mates which cheer me up no end!

Louise- Glad you’re feeling a wee bit better.Keep your chin(s) up.

Maddy- I hope your bloods are ok. I also watched the elephant man and actually almost felt happy about my scars. Who needs vanity when you’re getting the bad stuff cut out.The poor man’s life didn’t seem worth living. I was very concerned that he’d catch infections living in that terrible hovel.The poor soul!

Ruby- How are you enjoying work now? I’ve been checking my emails instead of watching movies and reading and I only left last Wednesday.What a saddo eh?

Dilys- How awful that the protesters stole your thunder.So many people tuned in purely to see your turban and were deprived! Tsk! However,her’es hoping you don’t need it in 2012!.

I really do intend sitting around reading/watching tv tomorrow.I never get time off and will try hard to enjoy it.

Luv’n’stuff
Tricia
xxxl

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Hello all,
I spent ages yesterday on a post and clicked on the wrong bit andlost it all, got in a strop and decided to post today when I wasnt fuming with myself DOH!!! so here I am.Must remember to copy as I go along.
Gosh I cant believe its been 5 days since I was here. Its been a wierd few days. I have been on late shifts this week from 1pm to 9pm so havent been getting home from work until past 10pm as Phil and I are lift sharing. He works at Manchester Airport so I have to go past it on my way to work so have decided to lift share on late shifts…saving the planet and all that.
Work has been fine but I am glad I am off today and yesterday. I had a bit of a wierd day on Monday, I share a desk with the person on the opposite shift and we have a little routine but there is a new girl who started just before i went off on the sick and she needed to use a phone so I got moved to another desk. I know it sounds really petty but it really unsettled me. I am really struggling with my memory so a change of desk this early on really threw me. I found myself getting really upset and almost on the verge of tears. I settled down on Tuesday and Wednesday and was ok but do feel people are fed up with me already or perhaps I’m boring myself but I’m finding it hard not talking about the last 3 months (not all the time but it does pop up quite often as its all I’ve done in the last 3 months) so I am trying hard not to talk about it too much. Had a lovely lazy day yesterday and walked over to big sisters house today and was treated to an unexpected lunch so am feeling much chirpier today after a good old gossip and a brisk walk even though it was in the rain.

Well enough about me.

Dilys…I recorded the torch trip and was most dischuffed they didnt show much of the crowds, I kept an eye out but couldnt keep up with the crowd due to the drama surrounding the torch. Poor Conny Huck (Spelling??). How exciting to be that close to the 2012 games area the opening and closing fireworks will be spectacular from where you are.

Maddy…I cant believe you still havent got your splint but well done you for deciding to change your mind it doesnt matter what you decide as long as you are happy with it. What you have said has certainly given me some food for thought although I have thoughta few time I’m not sure if I want any more ops, I will have to have the oopherectomy within the next two years and feel like I just want leaving alone for a bit if you know what I mean. Has Bouncing Benjamin test driven his seat yet?

Tricia…Glad to here your spirits are being kept up by loved ones after your op and you arent feeling too uncomfortable. Your description of you hospital stay had me in stitches (excuse the term). Hope you managed your lazy TV day.

Louise…well the shed(!!!) has been chosen and the contract was signed and posted back today. Expected delivery and completion 6th May which is perfect timing because we will be back from our trip to your neck of the woods by then. The shed company are quite excited as its a made to measue and they dont get many. Its from a company in Sandbach called Olympian because the guy who owns it used to be a hammer thrower for GB and has competed in the olympics. There were b/w photos up in the offfice. Very interesting stuff. sorry you had a rubbish time with your chemo but nice to hear you are getting back to speed, are you still working in between.

Ruby…hope your blood count was ok and you are all systems go for your herceptin thinking of you and fingers crossed.

Rachy…Take it easy hun, I’m sure ou know what you are doing but I read somewhere that when you are doing this you should end the day thinking I could have done more. It blows me away you girls who carry on working and dont think I could have so take it easy.

Julie…are you ok or are you having your bleurgh days. I cant believe it will be just two weeks to your last one.

See I told you it was a long one. Well I hope you all have a lovely weekend and that this weather picks itself up a bit. I’ve got a friend running in the marathon this weekend so will be mentally willing him on and trying to catch sight of him on the telly. Hope I have more luck seeing him than Dilys.
Love and luck to you all. Sx

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Hi all,
Working is not really panning out on chemo but if I feel ok i go in and if not at stay at home. it does help that i work down the road from where I live. I may carry on working but I will see how i feel. if it is too mcuh I will stop.

Rach

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Hello all

Can’t remember if I posted to let you know that I saw the oncologist this week and he suggested that I get a second opinion at another hospital re my bloods and Herceptin etc so end result is I’m going to see somebody at the Royal Free Hospital. In the meantime, the injection brought my white blood count up to an acceptable level so I’m allowed Herceptin on Wednesday - yipee!

Re work, I’ve got a grievance meeting on Tuesday so a bit nervous about that but am keeping myself very busy in the meantime. Rachy I think you may need to accept that it is really hard to work whilst on chemo. It certainly didn’t work for me as I kept ending up in hospital. In fact, I’ve had 5 hospital admissions in less than a year which is frightening considering I’ve never been admitted for anything before this.

Weetricia good to hear you are back and doing ok. Louise hope you aren’t feeling too bad.

Shonagh you’ve really been busy which is good but please don’t over do it. I’m sure people at work are not fed up with you and you most likely are just being very sensitive which is understandable. It’s also quite natural for what’s happened to you (us) to come up in conversation after all it’s a bit part of our lives and will be for a long time.

Love to you all

Ruby xxx

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Hi everyone

How are we all on this lovely Saturday morning? When I feel Ok again (ie now) I find it really hard to remember how truly dreadful I felt during those terrible few post-chemo days (and that I have to do it all again another three times, boo hoo) Anyway I have a PLAN. I am getting together a kit of stuff ie painting by numbers, strong aromatherapy oils, Reiki type music, singalong music etc and for those few days I am going to do nothing I would normally do, I am going to shut myself in a self indulgent bubble and see if I get through better that way.

We are off to a wedding party this evening. It is Evie Rose’s christening tomorrow, OH and the boys are going but I am keeping my bald head at home. We were out for a meal last night which was gorgeous.

Dilys thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Will you be viewing the Marathon tomorrow? Is it anywhere near you or closer to the centre?

Shonagh It must be a real culture shock getting back to work. I know what you mean about trying not to talk about it all the time, very difficult when it is on your mind so much, I guess I tend to ask an inane question of someone and let them go on about their “thing” for a while, mind you I took it a bit far the other day and there was a 50 min convo re her work. Good luck with the “shed” or should I say, second home? I am working next week but only going into the office three times, the rest from home. Am also seeing the counsellor again as it was very helpful last time.

Maddy Hi there, don’t worry about a change of mind, maybe that is why they sometimes leave it a while, yeah a pity he can’t just do a matching WLE, haha. Mine are not dissimilar in size, the bra cup is just slightly baggy on the affected one. Hope Benjamin has settled down after his teething, we once went away on a much anticipated seaside weekend, my youngest cut 3 teeth in the course of the 36 hours and made life hell for everyone else in the boarding house, not to mention our holiday. Mind you, when you have toothache as an adult you can understand why they scream so much.

Tricia How you feeling? Hope you are letting yourself have enough rest to heal (nag nag) Will you have to wait for another set of results now? The waiting is the worst aspect of all this, I think.

Ruby Did your Herceptin go ahead? Hope it was straightforward this time.

Rachy and Julie Hope today is a good day

Love to all

Louise

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Oh Ruby that’s good news (think our posts crossed) and good luck for the meeting on Tuesday!

Louiise x

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Hello Ladies,

Just thought I would pop in to say hello, I have been reading everyones posts but now I am back to work I dont have any news really, just the same old same old pushing paper from one end of the office to the other. I cant believe I have been back at work for 3 weeks already, I’m really glad I’m not in full weeks yet, the early starts and late finishes are tough so I am really greatful for my extra days off.

Louise…so sorry to hear you were feeling yuk and really glad to hear you plan on being good to yourself in the time after number 4 (is it next week?) I see you on other threads being lovely to people and advising them to take it easy and then theres you working and trying to carry on as normal(pot and kettle come to mind LOL!! ) Hope the wedding party went well and you had a lovely time.
Julie…are your bloods behaving and are you on target for number 6?? Hope everything goes to plan.
Ruby…really pleasedyou got your next herceptin. How did the grievance meeting go, well I hope.
Dilys…did you get to see the marathon, I have a friend who ran it and managed it in 4hrs 18mins and 1 second. I was so proud of him and even managed to spot him on the views of the finish lines on the interactive thing on freeview on the BBC. Hope you arent feeling too uncomfortable, is it about 2 more weeks before they take it down a size. I bet you cant wait.
Maddy, Tricia and Rachy Just to say hello and hope you are doing well too and looking forward to the weekend as much as I am.

Well got to go know. I have got orders of service to make before bed time, although I can have a bit of a lie in tomorrow but must get out of my pit and head off to Northwich to get Phil an anniversary present for next while we are away. Its our 4 year anniversary which is flowers or fruit neither of which he would appreciate if I got them so got to get my thinking hat on and pray for inspiration. I want to get hime something special and to say thank youfor being such a star throughout this whole thing. Any ideas!!!

Be good to yourselves girls and hope you are getting some of this sunshine too. Love Shonagh xx

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Hi Ladies,

Shonagh- It’s good to hear that you’re still working away.I’m still in that strange place where I haven’t been off long enough to have forgotten about it, but worried that it may forget me as we’re going through a change in the staffing structure.What crappy timing on my part to be off during all the consultations and so on! I thought I’d be back next week whilst awaiting my rads timetable.Unfortunately I got biopsy results.Grade 2, 2.6cm and 2 lymph nodes affected.I have to go in for full axillary clearance and will now be having chemo.My wounds are just beginning to feel Ok and I don’t look forward to the re-opening.Yeugh! I took a couple of boxes of chocolates up to the ward on Tuesday when I got my results(hubby forgot to bring them when he was collecting me last week!).I’ve asked the staff if this means I’ll get preferential treatment and a room with a view.Well, I can but hope!

Louise- How was your wedding and christening? I’ve already planned a wee bit “Me Time” as well.My friend who went through this 3 years ago gave me a pile of DVD’s to watch while everyone else is at work/school/uni. My sister has a pile of books.I’ve said I’m not fussy,I’ll read anything at all just now.I keep forgetting that I’m supposed to be taking it easy and can’t stop doing the washing and ironing as the boys and hubby are hopeless. However, I’m not doing too much as my sore underarm prevents that.

Ruby- I hope your bloods are OK.With regard to your work, remember that Employment Law should prevent your employers from treating you badly.Just stick in there! I hope you’ve got good representation.

Rachy-How’s the chemo going? I’m not looking forward to that.

Maddy- Any more thoughts on your reconstruction? I had a(crazy) mate who bought a water bra for £7/£8 at Primark a couple of years ago.She loved it as she had never had any boobs to speak of.the rest of the gang were always waiting for her to spring a leak.She used to tell folk she’d had a boob job.Surprisingly enough,she actually looked pretty good in it.

Dilys-I might need some assistance from you re turbans etc.I have a couple of really nice hats, so no one will be surprised to see me in new headgear, but I want something that won’t blow off in the wind if I lose my hair.My dad lost very little hair when he had chemo, so hopefully I’ve inherited the strong hair genes!

I was at my hubby’s mate’s Dad’s funeral today.He had been ill for several years, so it really was a blessing.Surprisingly I actually enjoyed the day.A few good mates were there and we had a lovely meal and a gab.I also felt incredibly young as there were loads of folk over 70 (probably nearer 80 for the most part!).

Going out tomorrow for a drink and hope we have a sunny weekend.(even if it is cold).Have a fab weekend everyone.

Tricia
XXX

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Hi ladies

Hope you are all doing well.

Weetricia really sorry you gotta go back for more surgery. I had one lymph node involved, grade 3, 4cm tumour but I strongly believe that my treatment has sorted it all out!

Re my work, I have got really good support. Waiting now to hear back from employers to see what the outcome of the meeting is. You go out and have a lovely evening tomorrow and yes let’s hope for good weather.

Shonagh it’s good to hear that you have no news - in a funny kind of way though!

Hi Louise, Dilys, Maddy, Rachy - can’t keep track of everybody anymore! Hope you’re all ok.

lots of love
Ruby xxx

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Hi sweeties,
Im fast approaching the last chemo!!! neuts 0.8 today, repeat thursday morning prior to chemo 6 if ok. fingers and everything else crossed.
I feel ok, considering Im such a busy bee,OH threatened to put reins on me recently!
We went out ar 4.30am on sat for a 'dawn chorus 'meet in our local woods with otherlike mad minded people, it was a lovely thing to do, having hot porridge and getting back into a warm bed a t 6.00am was much lovelier thing to do tho!!!
Ive been succesful in a critical illness claim- yahooooo, so ,well chuffed, that will reduce my mortgage considerably …very chuffed.
Had a chat with oncs today about Tamoxifen etc… 5 yr plan, I wonder if there is an alternative, or if anyone has said no to it, all depends on the statistics and risk factors doesnt it really.I’ll start a thread on this one I think.
Ive abandoned my wig, and sold it on an auction site we all know.Will invest in nice scarves for the summer instead, I was calling it squirrel in the end- not good.
Im visiting the site less and less these days, so I will say good luck and eventual good health , you are all an inspiration and thankyou for sharing and listening and understanding and laughing!.

LOL Julie xxxx

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Hello to everyone

Nice to catch up with the news. As Julie says, I think different members of the group will move on and visit the site less so I haven’t logged on to this thread as often. Wow Julie your last one,well done and good lucky although I am not sure about the 4.3o am stuff! I can’t wait for my last one, had my fourth yesterday, took longer for it to go in so I felt pretty sicky last night but Ok today and am going to spread out my steroids more in the hope of alleviating the “crash”

Ruby great news re your support at work and hope you get a result! How’s the Herceptin going?

Tricia when is your op? Sorry to hear that the diagnosis was worse than you had hoped, but you will get there. We are all living proof. The wedding party was good and my OH went to the christening with the boys and not me, but my stepdaughter came over last weekend and brought the gorgeous baby and the christening video.

Dilys hope you are having some good days now your treatment plan has eased up a bit, how is the inflation? Not long till 12th now!

Shonagh Glad the return to work hasn’t been too bad, I imagine it is a bit of anti climax to get back to “normal” and I guess normal will never feel the same again. I only work in week 3 of each cycle and then only go to the office two or three times and do the rest from home. As my treatment plan is so long then it helps me just to stay in touch and helps my staff to know I have not disappeared. Happy Anniversary and why are you buying Phil an extra gift? Isn’t the shed enough? Lol. Have a lovely Yorkshire holiday when it comes

Love to everyone on this thread or just reading and following it from the sidelines

Louise x