Hi all,
I start my chemo this week too. Diagnosed 2 weeks ago with triple negative so it’s moved pretty quickly. I had my PICC yesterday and it’s still quite tender. I have 2 under 5s and didn’t realise I wouldn’t be allowed to pick them up for the next 6 months 
I’m trying cold capping to try and keep some normality for the kids but I know it’s only 50/50 that it will work.
@zoemac Hi! Yes, Oncotype DX tests are usually only given to ER+ cancers. I hope everyone is doing well and I’m still counting down to my chemo treatment…8 more days!
Welcome to our support group.
Not the one I’m sure you expected. Like all of us it’s a scary place to find yourself in, having the support with everyone here is such a help.
Yes, you will face additional challenges with your young children, but as a mom I always think we find our strength to fight harder.
You can do this.
I hope you have a good support network of friends & family.
Sending hugs 
x
What part of the country are you from?
Hi everyone,
I’m about to start chemotherapy soon and will be seeing my oncologist tomorrow to finalise the treatment plan. I’m feeling quite nervous.
I was diagnosed in early January with triple-positive breast cancer (ER+, PR+, HER2+), with two tumours next to each other, totalling 34mm. A PET scan picked up a questionable 4mm involvement in the most inferior lymph node. I had a biopsy yesterday and am now waiting for the results—not sure if they will affect the chemo plan.
I’ve been reading the forum over the past few weeks, which has really helped me navigate this incredibly challenging emotional rollercoaster. I recently turned 36 and have a young child in Year 2. I’m unsure how much I need to adjust things at home and around my child—are there any particular precautions I should take? I’d be really grateful for any advice.
My PICC insertion was pain free. Slight sting from the local anaesthetic but that was it. Achy arm for 24 hours but a couple of paracetamol did the trick.
I took my iPad, a book and knitting to occupy me on the day but I didn’t even get them out of the bag. I sat quietly and people watched, had tea, biscuits and sandwiches provided by the volunteer, chatted with the nurse and just sat with myself mulling over what I’d experienced in the preceding couple of months and what is to come.
We will all get through it. X
Hi @jan30
Welcome to the group. Like I’m triple positive so our treatment plan can be long. I have found the HER2 thread really helpful. Spent 4.5 hours reading it one sleepless nights when I was waiting for more results after my initial diagnosis. The useful part for me was reading how the ladies have got through it.
@naughty_boob is the oracle, there are humourous writers, kind women who offer sage advice and we are all ages. There are younger women like yourself who like you will have navigated this journey with young children.
X
Hi @jan30 I’m so sorry you find yourself here at such a young age with a year 2 child. I noticed @mrsjelly has already sign posted you to the HER2+ buddies.
I have worked in primary education for over 20 years and my best advice is to be honest with your child to their understanding. If they ask a question, given them an honest answer to their level of understanding. You know your child best. Let your child’s school know so they can support them and you. I have taught many children over the years with family illness and they can show signs of distress in many ways and the school can keep on eye on it.
I personally stopped working in school due to bugs and infections, I was already at risk before my diagnosis due to asthma and a heart issue. The slightest cold could become pneumonia. Obviously your child still needs to attend school, as far as your immunity, make sure you ventilate your home as much as possible and if you child is poorly, try, I know it’s hard being a mum, to keep away from them or wear a good quality mask. They do work, I wore mine in school with 30 children from different homes and only caught covid once, no other bugs. This was from an empty room that had been used in the morning with a covid positive person in and I ate my lunch for 30 minutes.
I was in the September 2023 chemo group and many had children and did the best they could as a mum. Collecting their child outside school when they could but asked partner or friend to take child to parties, no sleepovers at their own home. Talk to your team, many will say just live your life, but if you catch a bug it could delay treatment. You have to do what is right for you and your family. Don’t forget to ask for help. Many have said over threads that you need to be specific what help you need.
There are many book that can help explain what is happening for children of different ages .
The big bag of worries can be found on YouTube.
I wanted to also signpost you to * Younger Women Together: For people 45 and under. You can choose the support that suits you: online, one day or 2 day residential events. Find an event. There are several younger women on the HER2+ thread who also have young children.
Take care. 
Thanks so much @naughty_boob @mrsjelly really appreciate your advice.
I am about to let my son’s class teacher know, but I don’t quite feel ready yet—I don’t want to start by breaking down in tears with the first sentence…
I have told my son (who is seven years old) that mummy is unwell. Based on the conversations my husband and I have had with a few close family members and friends (we avoid using the “C” word in front of him), the other day he told me that he understands mummy needs treatment for her breast, that some good cells and bad cells are fighting, and that he wants to do things to cheer me up and help the good cells win. As you can imagine, that completely broke me—I couldn’t help but cry in front of him.
I’ve been trying to stay positive ever since my diagnosis, but thinking about how this will affect my child and my family has been the hardest part—it has shattered me.
One of my biggest worries is how to handle things during the week of chemotherapy (use separate toilets to avoid contamination from bodily fluid??). If I feel unwell or experience night sweats, should I keep my distance from my child? Should I avoid cuddling him or sitting together at the dinner table? I honestly have no idea how to navigate this around young children.
Thank you so much for all the recommendations and helpful resources—I really appreciate it.
Thank you @jan30 for the update. I told you that @naughty_boob was the oracle and full of sound advice, particularly so around children given her lengthy experience as a teacher.
You will have spoken to your son’s teacher by the time you read this. I hope it went okay. If you have a wobble in front of them then so be it. It’s a normal response given the circumstances and the fact that this is all new and raw for you. I found saying it out loud to people, be it in person or on the telephone really difficult at the beginning. The more I repeated it the easier it became and the better I got at managing their reactions.
My children are both adults and I must say that telling them was the hardest thing I’ve ever done as a mother. I still want to shield them from it all so I appreciate just how hard it must be with a 7 year old. When I was around 4 my Dad was in hospital for a year Back in the 70’s there wasn’t the advice and guidance we have now but recall that they were open and honest with us telling my older sister and I what we needed to know.
In terms of sharing toilets post chemo, when flushing make sure the seat is down and double flush for 48 hours. If you’re a two toilet household then you could ban the family from your preferred loo for a couple of days. You will be fine cuddling your son as you always do, you both need normality and you both may need to hold each other a little more tightly. x
@jan30 it sounds like you are doing a great job already with your son.
I agree about the toilet, if you have 2 keep one to yourself for 48 hours. I remember being told to be careful with bodily fluids so kisses to cheek/ forehead in the first 48 hours, but again check with your team.
It’s a few months so you can have years with your son and family.
@pineapples123 hi xx I hope all good today at your pre-assessment sending love and good vibes for tomorrow. Xx
@wba hi x how are you feeling? I am on day 10 today and feeling a lot better, every cycle is so different isn’t it. Sending love xx
Hi @debly123
Pre assessment went fine. Just asked lots of questions. Got blood taken. Shown around unit.
Feeling strangely calm. But just feel I want it started.
Glad you feeling better. What side effects have you experienced?
I will have asked before. But what is you chemo regime.
Hope you feeling ok too@wba?
Sending love to all xxx
@pineapples123 glad you are feeling calm. I have 3 rounds of 3 weekly EC then onto paxy for weekly cycle for 3 weeks so I think 9 weeks all together, then surgery then radiotherapy. I had my MRI yesterday to see if the nasty had shrunk so going to get my results for that tomorrow, if it hasn’t shrunk they will take me off EC and move me not something different. I am just trying to take it all in bite sized chunks at the moment and trying not to get too overwhelmed by the medial details and leave it to the professionals. I am doing loads of meditation and affirmations to stay focused. Each cycle is different but had a lot of tiredness and a bit sicky. Xx
Glad your pre assessment went well and hope it all goes well tomorrow for you. I have my pre assessment tomorrow. I’ve got mri to get exact sizing before chemo starts this afternoon xx
Hi, feeling ok today thanks ,ready for the next round tomorrow.
I do keep waking up in the night and unable to get back to sleep. 
I think 3 of us will all be hooked up tomorrow for our treatent
@zoemac
@pineapples123
Hope all goes well for you tomorrow.
I’ve just got back from Primark with some of the adaptive range to try on.
Sending hugs
@pineapples123
Pleased you feel calm after assessment, helps seeing where you will
Be.
I’m ok thanks, & thankfully only few side effects so far but it took 3 day’s for them to kick in. Felt very tired last few days not helping by because up in the night!
My treatment starts at 2.15pm tomorrow afternoon.
I Know you have a long day with your picc line going in as well tomorrow. Think you said you had an early start as well.
Hugs be thinking of you.
Keep us updated how it goes. 
I think it might be a good idea to call the BCN nurses on 0808 800 6000 to talk through your worries about lymph nodes and the levels.
I had a sentinel node biopsy and mine was clear. But I’ve never read anything about levels.
Hi February starters and those yet to join.
Just wanted to signpost to some great charities and websites that may help you through your treatment.
www.lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk had fabulous courses online and face to face for hair, skincare/makeup and nails to name just a few. The nails is great for those on taxane eg Paclitaxel/ Docetaxel.
https://coldcap.com/ This is Paxman’s own website and shows how to use a cold cap and information about hair care. There is also a way to check your regime and the success rate. I cold capped on 12 weekly Paclitaxel and shed a bit, had two small patches above my ears ( please wear your glasses over your cap) and nobody knew I was having chemo.
www.cancerhaircare.co.uk is run by Jasmin who worked with Trevor Sorbie ( hairdresser) and she also runs some of the hair sessions for LookGoodFeel Better charity. She has numerous video with chats with Claire Paxman about cold capping. If you contact them they usually send you a small good bay with false eyelashes designed for lash loss. They have tried and tested loads of shampoos etc and guide to ones that work and best value.
A wonderful small charity who will send you a chemo goody bag if your provide you diagnosis, they destroy the information as soon as they dispatch the freebies. Sometimes they are available in some hospitals
Finally a great charity set up by Jo Tuchener-Sharp who had life saving brain surgery and decided she needed to help others.
They had a Super Scarf Mission to wrap every lady going through chemo in a free scarf. Their mission is for every one sold they donate another to a lady with cancer. They have contact with over 200 hospitals. So you may receive one from your hospital.
My hospital in Cardiff did not have contact, so while having chemo myself, I arranged with the local Maggie’s to get in contact with Scamp and Dude and after a few months the scarves arrived and they are handed out on the Look Good Feel Better makeup courses. I had finished chemo by then but was gifted a scarf for getting the contact. I have since bought another scarf or two, as well, as clothing. It’s a great gift idea for friends and family and you can help others having chemo.
I wish you all well on your treatment and will pop back to check on you.
Hi all and welcome to all our newbies 
Had a rough day today, a call from the oncologist at 9am to come in ASAP as he had some exciting news about my treatment that starts tomorrow. Obviously I was there at 9.30 to be told as my collective tumours are over 30mm I qualify for a more intense treatment of immunotherapy alongside Chemo (exciting for him)! Its a lot to take in and I’m feeling so overwhelmed, I had my head round every 21 days for 6 cycles before surgery/Radiotherapy so hoped to be finished before the end of the year but now it’s looking likely around 2 years 