Hi everyone. I have just managed a full day back at work. It went really well I work with Men and they were great. Managed to have a few laughs about the lack of hair which helped as I don’t think they knew what to say at first! It was great to have “normal” conversation! Most normal day I have had for such a long time. Back in tomorrow so off to bed early tonight.
It’s great when we have up days! Just make sure you enjoy them when they happen!
Hope everone enjoying weekend. Not a bank hol in Scotland. Good job as weather rubish!
Take care
Sarah x
Hi everyone, hope you are all doing ok,
I have had a crap week again after second fec, felt really nauseous for ages and was still getting waves of it yesterday. I will def be asking for this emend but can someone tell me what the ative ingrediant is as emend is a trade name apparently and wasn’t recognised by my doctor when i mentioned it. The anti sickness tablets make me feel really spaced out, i hadn’t ralised that they were responsible for my wooziness so much until tina suggested it ( cheers tina!),then my nausea gradually seems to be overtaken by heartburn feeling and also i find it really hard to swallow, as if my throat is a snake eating a giant rat and watching it being pushed down bit by bit. It is very hard to eat, with all these things, but today i am finally much better.
Does anyone else feel hormonal type upset in the week after fec? It is a down feeling and it has happened both times for me, very tearful,sad etc, but different to the shock upset after diagnosis. I am a bit worried that the tamoxifen might affect me similarly, and oncologist and doctors and everyone tellls me to deal with it in stages and not worry about tamoxifen yet, but i am so looking forward to having my own body rhythms after the chemo/radio is over and my body not being ruled by chemicals that this does worry me.
Also, and this is wierd, having a wee has made me v nauseous as it smells of the chemicals.
Hope others are enjoying an up day. Do you think its feasible to think that, although i have one fec and 3 tax to go, in fact i only have 3 times of feeling like i have this week again as on the fourth one, everyday is a “real recovery” day and not just a “recovery for next chemo” day- thats got to make a difference surely.
Finally ( and thanks for reading this far) i still keep coming back to why the hell has this happened to me? I went to a summer fair the other day with the boys and looked at the many many other young mums there with their little children, and i was there feeling like shit, with a wig on, and my sister with me to help me out, and i felt so far removed from them all, and jealous and peed off. Out of all the young mums there with no clue how lucky they were, why the hell has this happened to me.
Vickie
Vickie,
I really think what you feel is normal, about wondering why you and not those other Mums who don’t seem to have care in the world. However we do not know what goes on behind closed doors and maybe their lives are not so good. You have two lovely kids and you have learnt how precious life is. You never appreciate good health enough until you haven’t got it any more.
Hugs to you
Maria
Hi Tors I seem to go through so many different emotions at different times. I think the physical symptoms are so much easier to ‘manage’ and I can cope with sore veins, sore mouth, bone pain, feeling sicky and being very tierd which all happen to some extent every day. The emotional symptoms are harder and they come and go dependant on mood and general well being. I do have days when I feel really down and don’t want to be in the postion I am and quite resentful of it all and my life being taken over by all this. I don’t think any of us should try and be ‘upbeat and positive’ all of the time , there are times when we need to allow ourselves to be bitter about things - and that in itself is a healthy feeling I think.
I have gone back to work to enable me to think about other things than dwell on my treatment - but to be honest its been much harder than I thought as I feel totally and utterly shattered by 2pm and can’t think straight at all. I have my 3rd (and last) FEC on Tuesday and then start the Tax - again I am worried about the SE for Tax and what impact this will have on my life (again!).
saffronseed xx
Hi, Tors, so sorry you are feeling low! I know what you mean, I am the same out and about it’s life but not as we know it, I call it my parallel universe, no. 3 son asked if mummy had lost her sparkle??? Emend active ingredient is aprepitant, you get three doses, one on chemo day to take before you go on and one dose day2&3. It’s a Merck product. Day 4 post first round of tax and tiredness mostly with joint aches bit like stiffness/aches after a heavy workout at the gym, otherwise keeping going as normal. Having my kitchen ripped out next week, building dust everywhere already in the house! Saffronseed, there are more steroids with the dex, too. Feel quite good knowing I am halfway now! Sorry about the bank holiday, Sarah, but so well done about going to work! Maria, like the picture! Hope you caught up with some sleep, Julie!xxTina
argh, just lost long post!
Tina, thanks for drug details, do you take it at the hospital or at home before you go?? I recall reading that your husband works away mon-fri, how on earth do you cope with looking after yourself, children and home when he is away and you have had chemo? My oh works v long hrs, but am lucky that my mum and 2 sisters live 5 mins away and come and basically take over whilst i am out of action.
am feeling lots better today, hope it lasts!
Hiya Ladies,
Vickie, sorry you are feeling low still and hoping that some lighter more positive days are quickly on their way to you. I know what you mean about watching others, I find myself watching people a lot these days and thinking all sorts of things!! I can’t believe how fast the time is going as you are well on your way to no. 3 already.
Maria, great pics, I like the way you’ve done them in stages…very creative 
Sarah, well done on going back to work, silly Scotland for not knowing it’sa bank holiday!!
Tina, hope all is going well, you sure have been through the mill so far and are definately due some good reactions to treatments.
Hope everyone else is good, enjoy the holiday
hugs Suze xx
Vickie,
yopu posted whilst I was typing…so glad today is better for you…long may it carry on xxxxx
Hi Vickie, good to see you are a bit brighter! I took the emend before I drove off to chemo,usually I drop the kids off at school, then hospital and then pick the kids up from a friends house and then home, cook tea etc! This time they almost did not let me drive, so spaced out from the piriton! Couple of coffees did the trick, LOL!! Glad when it is bedtime!! My youngest children are 9&10 and they are very good, in the middle of next month our eldest (20) is home from uni for the summer so I will have some help at home for the last three chemos, you are lucky in the sense that some of your family live close by, mine are all abroad and I do miss them at the moment!! Suze, you are right, time seems to be just speeding along, can’t believe it’s half way point now. Going for an open day at the local hospital week after next, presentations on surgery, chemo, etc.
Hope everyone managed to enjoy a bit of the bank holiday!! Warm hugs to all, Tinaxxx
well Ive finally done it the hair is off and i was so sick of it i didn’t even cry. I had forgotten about a strawberry birthmark though at the nape of my neck ( usually hidden by hair ) Hubby thought i quite suited it went to pick my daughter up tonight in my wig and even though shes 25 yrs old she didn’t want to see her mam with no hair YET she said she just wants me to still look like her mam ( bless her) and i still certainly do in my wig .Its still not easy however old they are is it xx hope everyone else feeling better today .I actually feel much better cos my hairs tidy now i think it was looking at this dead thin straggly hair that was getting me down i feel great and liberated now ha ha x
Hi Tors
Your Mum sounds great. I have had my sugery braest removal & LD reconstrction about 6 weeks ago & have still not started chemo which i am finding frustrating & is adding to trauma. I know now I am having 3X FEC followed by 3X taxotere. I am very frightened too after reading all the information sheets. You start to feel you must be mad to even consider chemo! Have you had any chemo yet? My oncologist is on holiday this week so I cant start till the week after. I am going to Christies in Manchester. Good luck
hi notvery brave,
I am under christies too though having treatment at local hospital but under the care of dr misra, he is lovely and very calming. I also was given 3 fec then 3 tax, i have had 2 fec so far, and seem to go in a nausea,jittery, achy hole for just over a week then get tons better and function. I am sure the chemicals affact my hormones as my body just doesnt seem my own for that first week and i am teary etc. But it isn’t asscary as you may think . My dr prescribed a drug to calm me which i take before i set off and that does the trick! Good luck with yours
xxx
hi julie
well done on on the hair chop! I felt much better after my came off as it was doing my head in.
hi everyone, had FEC number 3 today and now half way through yuppeee… move onto Tax next time which I am not looking forward to, my Onc said it will make me more tierd (more tierd…? I am sleeping loads now) She said I will lose my eybrows and eyelashes and my nails will split and look awful and be painful- she said the idea of painting them with a dark varnish will not stop that happening but it will cover up my nails looking nasty… which is interesting as I have heard from numerous sources that painting nails dark will stop the light getting to them and help stop them splitting…
so not only will I be one breasted and bald, I will have no eyebrows, eyelashes and my nails will look at mess and be painful… o what bliss…
Saffronseed
i am confused now! i too will be having my 3rd FEC tomo then move to tax,i am so so tired from the fec but also i have M.E (chronic fatigue syndrome) so this does not help, i am confused as i was told that my hair will grow back after FEC not been told about losing eyebrows and eyelashes, some posts say FEC more difficult than Tax others say differently, suppose will just have to wait as everyone is has different experiences!
yes I agree I thought maybe my hair would grow back with Tax, but the Onc was very clear in what she said. She said it is very different and some ladies get through it with minimal side effects but the main problem is fatigue (worse than FEC). She also said that my hair would definately come back! (again I have heard that with Tax the loss can become permanent) maybe she was just alerting me to the posibility that I may lose my eyelashes and brows (again not everyone does) but I think the nail problems are common. Like you say we are all different and it affects us all different ways. Apart from the tierdness with FEC I am been relatively unscathed with SE’s - lets hope it continues…
good luck you girls having chemo tomorrw take care xxxxx hugs Julie
oh well, no boob, no hair, and now no nails !!
Vickie found your post funny as with all the SE tiredness nausea mood swings etc i have experienced them, but the one about wee smelling of chemicals made me laugh as thats one thing that does knock me sick after the chemo i can just smell it!!!
better get some sleep ready for chemo tomo i am just so addicted to this site as it is so reassuring that people in the same boat,x
So far the tax se’s have not been too bad, tired and muscle&bone aches. Emend took care of nausea very well. Painted nails dark pink can’t do blue/black, too gothic. Eyebrows/lashes patchy. Hair, what hair??? Good luck&hugs to all doing chemo this week! Xxtina
gosh tina you posted your message early, i cant normally get out of bed until 11ish but then again i have no kids to look after and husband is normally out early at work, thanks for your comments re SE of tax, going back to sleep for a bit now and then prepare myself for cycle number 3! x