I completely understand that @cazgib10 . 
I think a lot of ladies have struggled near to the end of treatment, both emotionally and physically. I think the pressure weighs even heavier when you know the end is near. Because we just want the journey to be over. We want to jump ship. End it quickly. We are shattered. Battered and bruised. Treatment is tough.
Its like being on a long car journey. We can travel miles, but the last few miles seem to drag on for an eternity. We are shattered, suffering stiff joints, aching from the long drive. Weve had enough.
Thats a really common feeling. But seriously hard to deal with.
After this weeks bashing it naturally makes us more cautious to endure more discomfort. We know whats coming and we have to “choose to go” for chemo, knowing what the next week is going to be like. Thats completely natural and rational… noone would choose to have chemo. Its seriously tough. 
The way I try and deal with it, is break it up into smaller chunks. I concentrate on today, or the morning, or an hour. Often I am that tired I fall asleep, which gets rid of a couple of hours.
But I find it is “less tolerable” if I try and look “bigger” picture. Pile too much into my mind.
Im planning for Pac, but im also blocking some of that out. Pacing myself. Setting it aside.
I Research, Plan, prep, then shelve/ ignore for a while. Then take it off the shelf the nearer I get to the start dates. Look at small bits. Never big bits.
I learnt to meditate years ago. Nothing heavy or complicated. Basically mild gentle breathing, and focusing on one thing only. Closing out the clutter. I do it even when walking to the Hospital now.
I walk down the corridor but dont think about the chemo. I then wait in the waiting room and just rest, listen to music. Chat to others. I focus on one tiny bit at a time. It stops me getting that awful fear of something I cant cope with…The Huge Elephant in the Corner. 
chemo.
So I visualise nice things. 
I make sure I have treats throughout the week. Probably too many 
. Nice films, good food, yummy smoothies. I bought some pure Bilberry Juice last week.
Sadly the meds gave me an upset stomach yesterday. So I got fed up of going to the toilet. 
. So rang 24/7 for advice. Today I am fine. It was not a stomach bug thank goodness.
Just an over sensitive stomach lining. So I ate nice things to calm it down. Rested.
If I had to think of chemo and a week of yeuk, I wouldnt go. Id be exhausted before I started.
There are loads of Visualisation Videos on YouTube, White Noise Sounds that help us focus on other things.
They got me through some really tough times in life. When I was younger I had seriously bad Panic Attacks. I had no idea what they were. I was a young mum with no sleep, breast feeding and had lost 3stone in weight.
But, i learnt how to not focus on the panic, after reading a book by Dr Claire Weekes. How to relax. How to ride the waves of life and know I would survive.
We do survive. But we need to be kind to ourselves.
Today I looked awful. My friend called round and said so as well. We laughed. Forcibly.
I took off my chemo hat, and we discussed how bald I was compared to his bald head . Yet mine has an odd peach, bum fluff, covering it. Seems common. 
He didnt stay long as I was too tired. So he went to his allotment and sent me photos of his courgettes and flowers 
. 
..
Id rather he did that than feel obliged to “be around”. I just went to bed and fell asleep, again, for another 2hrs. 
You will get through this. Time wont stop ticking. Thats a good thing. The end will happen. And you will be able to rest and recover when it does stop. And make sure you do rest. You will be shattered. So factor that into your recovery.
You are stronger than you think. Xxxx
I really struggled on my 7th because I was grumpy it wasnt the last one and it definitely made things harder
And you will be too. That alone for me will probably help ease the side effects that are coming
The price of scalp cooling I guess. The nurses are amazing but so so constantly busy - they deserve a medal! Can’t wait to get the other side of my last one on Friday!
The psychological side of it is definitely a thing at this stage. Marathon not a sprint! My hands have been so much better this round too, so hope that continues. Emollients rule! 
Evenings and early mornings are my best times.
