Dear Clare.
Like many I have been reading your thread everyday but not known what to say. I hope in your situation I will be as warm hearted, wonderful and generous as you.
Have been out searching in my garden for snowdrops but they are still hiding in my hilly garden in Yorkshire.
Love Julia xxx
Hi Clare I have been following this thread with awe and feel that you have expressed so much so well! I wish you humongous amounts of spoons I just hope we can all use ours as wisely.Got to see snowdrops here and yes thought of you, sending you my best along with a gentle hug Em xxxxxx
Dear Clare,
I have only just read your postings for the first time and all I can say is thank you for letting us all into your thoughts and life. You are so honest and open puting into words that which most of us deny. I pray I will be as strong as you in the inevitable future. Your poems are superb. Your children and grandchildren will treasure them.,keep them safe.
I hate it when my thoughts for the future are pushed away. Your lovely friend who said "B…ger it " is a very wise man. Do continue to post even if it is a friend doing it for you. I will graze the Forums for you in the late night hours when sleep is elusive.
Thinking of you with admiration
Cackles xxx
Clare, I don’t think anyone who dies is every forgotten until everyone who knew them has also died, and even then they can live on if the memories are shared and passed on. I didn’t ever know my grandparents but I’ve heard the little stories and still think of them from time to time.
My mum died 29 years ago when I was nearly 21 and I still think about her every single day. When something silly happens, I can still imagine my mum commenting, and I can almost hear her laughing at the stupid things that go on, and telling us off when we do something daft. She was a wonderful woman and we loved her very much. She had a twinkle in her eye and a massive spark of life that didn’t just disappear. I get the feeling that you are like that too, and your children will carry you with them through the years.
Love, hugs and spoons, and I’m going hunting for snowdrops tomorrow. Of course you know that all the women you have touched on this site will never be able to see a snowdrop without thinking of you.
CM
x
Dear Clare
Ella Wheeler Wilcox wrote this poem and a very dear friend of mine gave it to me a while back. I found it very beautiful and hope some of you will do so too.
It seemeth such a little way to me
Across to that strange country - the Beyonde
And yet, not strange, for it has grown to be
The home of those oh whom I am so fond
They make it seem familiar and most dear
As journeying friends bring distant regions near.
So close it lies, that when my sight is clear
I think I almost see the gleaming strand
I know I feel those who have gone from here
Come near enough sometimes, to touch my hand
I cannot make it seem a day to dread
When from this dear earth I shall journey out
to that still dearer country of the dead
And join the lost ones, so long dreamed about
I love this world, yet shall I love to go
And meet the friends who wait for me, I know
And so for me there is no sting to death
and so the grave has lost its victory
It is but crossing - with a bated breath
And white, set face - a little strip of sea
To find the loved ones waiting on some shore
More beautiful, more precious than before.
And without a doubt Clare you will be one of the most precious ones. You have touched so many of us with your posts and I can honestly say that you will stay in my heart and thoughts.
Alanaa
Alanaa xx
I too will always remember you Clare when I see a snowdrop. I can’t go hunting for snowdrops here as I live in an apartment, I have containers of winter pansies, and in summer I have summer pansies, guess what my favourite flower is? Pansies are work horses for gardeners, and I love their smiling faces, and varieties of colours. A few years ago we had a largish garden, and had snowdrops, my children used to get excited when seeing the first one as it was the first flower of the year. I miss my garden but not the work necessary to keep it tidy. My dad was a very keen gardener, he won gardening competitions and also tended gardens for wealthy mill owners, dad always did the ground work and tneded the lawn for us leaving us with the nice jobs to do, planting bedding flowers (usually grown from seed by dad) deheading, and general tidying up.
When I was young I used to “help” dad in the garden weeding and planting. One weekend he planted out his summer bedding plants, Monday morning he went off to work; I was pre school age and decided to “help out” with the weeding …you’ve probably guessed Clare - I pulled out all the bedding plants he’d so lovingly planted. Fortunately he had more in his greenhouse which were to be given to friends and family.
I hope you have another bright day, no sleet! And whatever you are planning, enjoy.
Bye for now,
Much love,
Libby xx
Alanaa, that is beautiful.
Hii there,
Alanaa, that was a beautiful poem thank you, it sums up much of what I feel at the moment, not that I am in any hurry to go, but when I do go I hope to be in the frame of mind of the poem and cause no heartache for those I hopefully will have with me to the end.
CM as usual your posts are so right…I live in hope that my kids, when thinking of me, smile and laugh about all the good times we had. The only really close person I have had die is my Nan, I lived with her until she died a very peaceful way, at home, having got up and spoken to us all, especially my son, who was the only person keping her going. She just literally got back into bed after climbing the stairs and laid down. I look forward to seeing her :o)
Libby, I too was that child, digging up bedding plants instead of weeds. All our family are keen garderers and have learnt a bit now lol. Its lovely that your dad was so patient with you, he sounds like a gem.
I’m off back to bd to see if i can fit in a little more sleep…
Here’s hoping Clare xxx
Morning Clare 
I hope you have managed to get some extra sleep and have a lovely weekend with your nearest and dearest. I wanted to say that apart from all your own insightful, funny (I liked the comment that you’d put the cat amongst the pigeons with your BC!) and open posts that all the other ladies adding to this very long thread have also added such caring and loving thoughts. It is always a joy to read this every day and I hope we can all keep doing this for some time - sore fingers and tiredness allowing of course, Clare.
As to planning for when the inevitable happens I think you are just letting everything happen naturally and enjoying these precious moments. As CM says its these lasting memories that will keep our loved ones going and able to keep smiling. I hope when my time comes, and having secondary BC I guess that’s sooner rather than later (!) that I can keep laughing and smiling as you are right up to the end
Take care
Nicky xx
Tiny white snowdrops defying the winter’s cold
Small brightly coloured pottery jugs on the shelf
Turquoise (and teal, and peacock and petrel) outfits
These things,
These little things
These seemingly insignificant things
Achingly rich in meaning…
The stuff of memories
Smiles through tears
Chuckles on dull days
Rainbows through the rain…
This priceless gift
Of selfless sharing
Caring
Loving
Living with the dying
Naming
Claiming
Exclaiming (B*****r it)
These things
We will treasure
For always
For ever
Hope you have a great weekend Clare. Don’t think of us, enjoy your precious, present moments.
Beautiful Revcat, it made me cry and im sure Clare will love it too!!
deed
xx
Thats lovely Revcat,
nicely thought out for me ty :o)
It has bought a smile to my face all the ladies poking about down their overgrown gardens searching for snowdrops…people will think they are bonkers :o)
I had such a good nights rest, i was up for half an hour but slept to well afe 9 which has meant I feel so much better, and not taking the chomo too, i guess.
I have to go and motivate myself as my daughter is helping out at the scout jumble and I said i would pop in for a while. Now there’s a place for bargins :o)
Hope you all have a good day, seems nice, if a little chilly, long john time, me thinks lol
Clare xxx
Hope the jumble sale is good, Clare. I love them … Jumble sales, spring fayres, garden fetes, Christmas bazaars… I’ve found some wonderful things over the years and some not quite so wonderful! Keep a lookout for spoons!
My mother in law used to keep a 5 year diary of all the best ones, and was always first in the queue ( and woe betide anyone who tried to push past her!). Been on a successful snowdrop hunt this morning, beautiful day here too (West Mids). Have a lovely day, Mo xx
Revcat, that is simply beautiful. It brought more than one tear to my eye and is a beautiful gift for the lovely Clare.
Clare, I thought of you yesterday at my friend’s funeral (that’s not meant to be morbid!) She was an avid gardener and the church was full of narcissi, primroses and, most of all, snowdrops. She was buried in a wicker casket in her beloved garden and the flowers are going to be planted on her grave. That’s not an option open to many I know, but she and her husband is from the family who own the local estate including the “big house” in the village. They have a beautiful old walled garden, acres of woodland and also several farms, so space isn’t an issue!
My snowdrops have failed me this year so I’m going to buy some more this afternoon if I can and plant them in my garden for two true ladies.
Jane xxx
Hi Clare,
This is my first post on your truly inspirational thread which I feel compelled to read daily. What a courageous lady you are.
I have also been roaming around my back garden today and found some snowdrops lurking beneath some fern leaves. I promptly cleared the area so I can see them from my kitchen window. I also have 3 daffodils in flower, proudly standing tall and regal. Also to my delight I have a pair of robins starting to nest in their box. They decided to make it their home a couple of years ago and produced two babies but didn’t return last year, but they are back again. They really are the gardeners friend and I know they are going to be such time wasters for me while I watch their comings and goings.
Take care
Barbara xx
Hello Clare,
Out for a walk this afternoon along the river with kids and dog. Came across a lovely cluster of snow drops along the river bank. I bent down and lifted the head up and couldn’t believe all the delicate detail inside. Thank you for the tip.
Along the river we also have a field which is covered in Blue Bells I love them too.
Hope you have had a lovely afternoon.
Love and best wishes Silver xxx
Hi there,
I have had a really good day, feeling bright, its amazing what sleep does for you :o) Hopefully tonight will be the same (fingers crossed)
I spent a whole £4 today :o) came away with lots of goodies, I went round before the jumble had opened (perks of having a scout) 4 bone china mugs, numerous dvd’s to keep me amused and some cookery books, never can resist them. It was nice to catch up with everyone as I haven’t been doing the picking up and dropping I haven’t seen many of the people there for ages.
I sat and watch one of the dvds and chilled for the afternoon…
I am being buried in the village cemetery (a lovely 12th century church too) and its filled up with snowdrops…but i’d rather wait for the blue bells lol. We have a local wood where the blue bells grow in carpets through the trees, its spectacular, I used to go on that road dropping my son off for his bus each morning and it never ceased to amaze me of there beauty.
I have nothing planned for tomorrow, mum is coming and staying over for the night on Monday. I have my bone infusion Monday and Onc appointment on Tuesday. I expect me and the kids will tidy a little, otherwise she will be cleaning up and ironing all day lol.
I feel so awful for her heartache, she has had 3 siblings die of cancer and now she has me and my dad. She copes with it so well. Its nice to spend time with her, she sleeps in my room as we put another bed in there. So we chat a bit before we sleep, which is lovely to do, just sharing memories and day to day stuff but its a comfort to me knowing she is there.
I’m off to bed now in the hope that sleep is available tonight so that all those spoons can be put to good use tomorrow :o)
Happy snowdrop hunting (perhaps I’ll count them instead of sheep)
Sweet dreams
Clare xxx
Hi Clare
That sounds like a really good day! I love a bargin, but rarely get to proper jumble sales. I normally have a quick scoot through the charity shops - the book section mainly. I buy bag fulls of cheap books, read them and then 90% of them get donated back.
Hope you get enough sleep tonight and have another good day tomorrow.
Dx
I’m rubbish in jumble sales and usually end up buying tat while leaving the good stuff on the tabls.
Clare I hope you get to, and past, the bluebells and autumn leaves but it sounds like a lovely place.
your day with your mum is a nice thing to look forward to. Hope you get lots of good sleep tonight.
CM
x
Hope you don’t join the ‘Up All Nighters’ Clare! I’d like to think you are curled up, cosy and warm, having sweet dreams.
I used to love jumble sales but haven’t been to one in about 25-30yrs, they no longer seem to have them near to me. I always went to the school one when a child and remember the stampede when the doors opened. One of the first books I read alone was ‘Ameliaranne and the Jumble Sale’, I treasured that book so much.
The village cemetery sounds perfect Clare, with snowdrops and a beautiful 12th century church.
Make the most of your quiet day tomorrow, rest up and maybe watch more DVD’s? I plan on doing some family history research (I’m hooked on it)
I have thoughts of you and your mum on Monday night both nattering away and recalling good times and funny anecdotes. I think you’ll sleep like your mum’s baby that night, and wake up ready for the Onc Tues.
Don’t do too much cleaning and tidying tomorrow, remember Sunday is a day of rest. Most of all enjoy the day.
Libby xoxo