Awwww Clare you wise old owl that’s beautiful xxxx
Dearest Clare,
I read your posts and rarely write but I’m wide awake and just want to say we all give and take here according to our strengths and needs. You have been a giver all your life as women tend to be. It’s not our fault that we got this disease. We aren’t as strong as we were and we need to lean on each other now. We also need to teach our children - even in my case our adult offspring - that we are not immortal or superhuman.
It’s natural to want to protect those around us from reality but that’s not what living is about. Think of all that life threw at us along the way and how it made us stronger.
We all love your posts and through them we love the strong woman we have met. You have given us all so much. Take a little back - it’s a fair bargain!
Love and hugs,
Kathleen
Katyb you speak the truth…
As Lulu says Clare. You were supposed to be sleeping. 4.54 is the middle of the night. We are not wonderful, we are just there for friends and in these Forums you get so many new ones.
Have a full, restful but enjoyable day.
cackles xx
Wonderful poem Clare.
How much we struggle to receive… seems we girls are programmed to be givers… The old saying that it’s more blessed to give than to receive is only ever a half truth… if no one will receive we cannot give, and sometimes the giving of accpetance is the greater blessing imo. If you’re able to spend some time with lovely Cackles and wonderful Choccie Muffin, wherever, whenever, then enjoy the gift of receiving. Sorry if that sounds uber bossy.
You are a wise person, sharing the wisdom you are being forced to learn with others who know that one day we too may have to walk a similar path (and some are already on it). We love you for you, just try to hold on to that.
And yes, eulogy - it means ‘a good word’ - you need someone you can trust to tell the story that you would like to tell, and accept that he will probably have his only little embellishments of the you he sees but you cannot. I hope you cope with his wife, I’m sure you will, as you always do.
Have a lovely day Clare, and everyone else who posts on this thread. You are each and every one beautiful women, never forget that.
Great and heartfelt piece of writing Clare.
Acceptance makes all the difference. It doesn’t mean giving up and I think that whatever is thrown at us, especially when it seems as though we have no control, acceptance along with a quiet determination to get on eases our passage through life. You have it in spades!
Have a great day - whatever you decide to do whether it’s cake baking, ironing (No!) or resting up on your new bed.
Big hugs
Laurie x
Morning Clare
Just been catching up on all the posts. Wonderful to see lots of offers of help for you. Everyone is so kind here. I just hope that you manage to get your bug under control so that you can enjoy yourself a bit more. I am still in bed & coughing well but detect a slight change in the cough so maybe I’m finally turning a corner now. Hubby arrived back last night so will be having regular meals which should help plus some TLC. I was struggling on my own. Sometimes it’s good to be alone ( can sleep whenever I want) but the downside is you don’t get fed & watered unless you do it yourself! Might try a shower & getting dressed today. Need this to go away ASAP so I can start my chemo. The sooner it starts, the sooner it will be over! Once dressed I shall stroll out into the garden & check on the progress of the snowdrops!
Sounds like you’re being well kitted out! Bet you can’t wait for the bed to arrive. Quite an upheaval though getting one out & putting another in. Hope you stay curled up in a corner & let everyone else worry about the logistics!
Big hugs for you. We all love coming here to see your posts
Twinky x
Aah, Clare, you really are a very clever and wise woman, lovely poem xx
How lovely! I so hope your bed is comfortable for you and you rest well in it, I feel so privileged to read your posts I so wish I lived closer but sending you special hugs Em xxx
Clare, I don’t always express myself as well on emotional matters as I do on more practical things, but I wanted to say that your posts and this thread have seemed to draw a lot of wonderful things together, and I know that I draw strength from it- thank you, xx
Clare, I agree with the others - much as you have given all your life, it’s now time for you to take something back. A lift with CM or Cackles doesn’t come even close to a fair deal for all you’ve given to us.
I can’t believe the snow lasted so long - the last bit in my garden only melted yesterday! My poor daffs have gone all yellow at the base from being covered up for almost two weeks and sadly I’ve lost a couple of pots of pansies. Not all though, and I’ve got half a dozen pots of bulbs still doing well. Maybe I’ll finally get to plant those snowdrops out this weekend.
I unearthed my breadmaker yesterday after a looooong break and we had homemade soup and granary bread for tea. Yum. Then when I got home from work I made some lemon drizzle muffins with white chocolate chips. Just eating one for supper now. Oh, so sticky bottomed and lemony! I might bake a coconut cake tomorrow as well. Who needs a waistline?
Sleep well Clare, God bless.
Jane xxx
Evening all,
I hope you all had a happy friday…I did :o)
My bed arrived prompt at 9am, luckily for me I was using the guest bed which makes into a double, so all I had to do was slot one bed inside the other to clear it away. The new bed was almost the same size as mine so no juggling involved, just a bit of minor furniture moving, done by XOH which was nice of him to get up to sort it. So looking forward to hopping into bed tonight to see if it makes a difference to my sleep patern…If it does, I shall prescribe them for all the up all nighters brigaid :o)
My visitors arrived, as did my Oxygen and a million masks, all different for me to try. I’m going to have a go with that just before I drop off… Again i’ll report back!!!
My visitors were on top form today and I had a really good time remembering all the things I used to confide in to Michael, I think his wife was really surprised and perhaps understood more than she had done before about why I wanted to talk to just him, alone. Although I really got on with her today, perhaps I just never had the inclination to build any kind of relationship with her, which perhaps makes me in the wrong for writing her off. XOH kindly had cooked Lunch for us and they were very impressed with his goolash, as was I too…
I managed to say most of what I wanted too, I may just finish it all out of the way and off my chest in an e-mail. It wasn’t scary talking about my funeral so this week I will approach the church warden and tell him my choice of place I would like to be buried. I may as well ask, as if you don’t ask you don’t get…He’s a lovely kind man, known him since I moved here and it was the church fete, the first weekend and I got roped in to making my first cake. for the Tea stall lol
The rest of the day was washing my bedding and yes CM, ironing it too…well it would look horrid all creased up, as would the other one too, so I did that as well :o)
Then had T and just been vegging at the TV, not really watching anything, just fleeting in and out as I nodded off during much of it.
Well another day over, not that I am complaining :o) I hope you all have good nights…I hope you were pampered rotten when OH arrived home or didn’t you confess to your nightly wandering and rambles on here Twinky LOL
Just read your post Jane all I can say is YUMMY…
Take care all
Clare xxx
Glad the OT sorted things for you, I found them very helpful here in Sussex but in London my parents weren’t as lucky…
Enjoy your lovely new bed and hopefully, once you’ve finished fiddling with masks, playing with buttons etc, you will get a good nights sleep!
Thank you for starting this thread, so many of us draw such strength from it and it is lovely to see so many women benefiting from your wise owl head and generous heart.
Hope everyone has a good nights rest and not too much prowling around in the early hours. Good weekend wishes to all xx
Are you counting sheep yet Clare in your super duper new bed? I hope you have a restful sleep and happy dreams.
Your day with Michael and his wife sounds to have gone well, and your XOH did you proud with his cooking skills.
Hope you have a good weekend.
Catch up with you later,
Love and hugs, Libby xxx
Sleep well Clare. The cold wind is picking up here in Brill so I expect it is with you as well. The land of nod evades me again but no matter. Tomorrow I am looking after my lovely monsters. Three grandchildren, 6 yrs, 4 yrs and 18 months. We are picking them up in Henley,so I think I will cheat and take them to Loch Fyne for lunch. That will take care of an hour or two!
Big Hug
Cackles
I just had to pass this little snippet on to you, Clare.
A single snowdrop bulb sold on ebay this week for £725.10, can you believe it? It’s apparently a very rare ‘Galanthus woronowii Elizabeth Harrison’ and has a special yellow ovary and two yellow marks on the sinus.
Going to try and get some sleep now.
Libby, xoxoxo,
Morning Clare, and all the other lovely ladies you have managed to draw together 
All I can say is you put me to shame with all that you achieved yesterday LOL I hope the new bed worked its wonders and you were able to grab loads of hours sleep. I would imagine that all of your planning that you are doing must be a big relief once each part of the puzzle in place - see what I’ve done there? Ha ha. This may also mean you sleep easier, other physical restraints allowing,knowing that you are putting your life in order. Actually choosing your plot, well, as you say, don’t ask don’t get - I hope you get.
Have a lovely weekend, a bit brighter and warmer than at weeks freeze.
Take care
Nicky dx
Ps I’ll have some too Jane!
Goodness Libby £750 for a snowdrop… I did hear of one going on ebay for £2000 before as that too was a rare breed ,I hope they got comfirmation, I wouldn’t know about theses things, wish I did, I could make a forture as they proctrate LOL
It does feel a bit odd, picking the space I want but there are 2 obvious, next plots to go, so I thought I’d grab one while I can :o) although as far as I know, no one is in a rush to get there :o)…
Perhaps we could meet up in Deddington, if you are on your way home from somewhere Cackles, Theres a lovley little Tea and cake shop there. Lets have a blinddddddd dateeeeeeeeeee LOL
Happy Saturdays to one and all, Its calm and quiet here, a bit of wind but nothing much in the way of weather.
Luv to all
Clare xxx
Hi Clare, I guess there’s not an orderly queue then? LOL
It reminds me of a terrible story on our local tv programme yesterday where a daughter had been charged a months accommodation by the old people’s home that her father had recently died in. The contract said you had to give 28 days notice for moving out or dying - I kid you not. Needless to say I hope they back down now it’s been broadcast.
Happy Saturday to you.
Nicky x
Morning Clare,
Sounds like a great way for you and Cackles to meet up… I am hoping to meet here when she comes up to Scotland, and am really thrilled at the thought of seeing this amazing, funny, lady face to face.
I know what you mean about being strange to choose plots, but lots of people do it, especially as graveyard space is often in very short supply. People I know who’ve done it found it was actually quite comforting to know where they would rest, and who would next to them. Being able to picture where their loved ones would remember them seems to help. I know with my Dad he was glad to be able to choose a space on the back row under a tree, knowing that we walked through the cemetry every day as it was at the end of our road and on our (then) dog-walk route. It also takes pressure off your family wondering if they’ve picked the right plot (if they’re given a choice of course, most people just get allocated the next one).
Nicky your horror story reminds me of the poll tax bill my Dad was sent after he died… when it got to the point they said they’d serve a summons, my mum wrote back with his new address… plot X, Cemetry…
Have a lovely Saturday… after some rain it is now sunny here.