I am in a really surreal place.........

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Nicky, my jaw has just hit the floor with an almight thump and my gast is totally flabbered.

On a brighter note, I’ve just found a patch of Claredrops finally opening up in my garden - and I thought I’d lost them all! So pretty, and right next to where the Lily of the Valley will be coming through a bit later in the year.

They’re obviously like you Clare - stubborn and a bit bloody minded, but oh so beautiful when you get a good look.

Jane xxx

PS the lemon drizzle and white chocolate muffins are gorgeous, but ever so sticky - OH had to cut the paper case off his!

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Good morning Clare, good morning ladies,

Clare I often read this thread although I have been shy about posting (in any case I promised to wean myself off the forum since I am fortunate enough to be in the land of NED at the moment). Just wanted to say that I am so glad that you are finding the new bed, oxygen and other stuff from OT makes life easier.

You are to me the epitome of how to handle a difficult situation with grace, kindness and compassion for others.

I have lots of Claredrops in my garden, I will look after them very carefully as they are blowing around a lot in the gusty winds this morning.

Hope you have a day full of love and fun xx

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evening all,
just a quickie as I am so very tired. I’ve been asleep in the chair all evening and just woken up and on my nebuliser, it really does help me to breathe when I go to bed, especially with this horrid cold still lingering.
I have done nothing of any significanse today as I am so tired, perhaps all that ironing has sapped all my strength…there’s a good excuse for not doing it CM :o)

Night night, sleep well

Clare xxx

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Clare, there is ALWAYS a reason to not do the ironing!

So, do you want to go to the thingy place you mentioned? You up for it? I still am.

Oh, I found some Claredrops in my garden today, I was so happy to see them!

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Hmmmmmmm.

Here I am agsin…
right on time too…
A cuppa Tea and malt loaf is what the doctor ordered, no wonder I am putting on weight instead of losing it :o)

Jamie has gone AWOL this weekend so I guess he has figured the trip is too much for me, but said nothing…He came breezing in at 9 tonight after helping a friends dad clear his fathers house all day, as he has just died. In tow he had 2 friends who waited for him to shower then off he went again, still said nothing. I am quite relived, if the truth be told as my strength has all but gone this weekend, so whatever the car, i’m not sure I could have made it.

It would still be lovely to meet up though, have to find somewhere central to where we all are and go for it, or as I said all are welcome to come over here.

I do feel that mayb this is my winding down time, its so hard to guage it as I have never died before :o) who knows, it mayb just a bad cold thats making me feel so bad.

I did have 2 nice things happen yesterday, a beautiful bunch of flowers arrived from my auntie Milly and uncle eric, 2 dear old friends from my parents church, she rings me every day, which can get a bit much but she is stuck at home too and likes the contact. She must have realised I was a bit down and that was the result…so sweet.

My sister in law phoned too, from Ireland, inviting Aisling over to stay for easter time. I’m not sure she will travel on her own, so shall ask Jamie to see if he can get time off or ask XOH to see what hoilday he can get. If I am still here, I doubt she will go as this could change and it would be horrid for her to be there and not here with me. Kind thought though :o)

I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel CM, you do seem to be struggling this week, glad you had your baby boy over, lovely when, epecially boys make the effort…

Stubbon and bloody minded, dark sense of humour…not me Jane ! you must have mistaken me for someone else LOL

Nicky , wouldn’t it be good to be able to give 28 days notice of dying…then you really could, in normal circumstances achieve all the things you wanted and some you didn’t know you wanted. A bit harsh though, does no one read there paper work small print!!!

Gonna hit the bed now, hope you all are too, snuggled up in bed.

Luv and hugs

Care xxx

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Morning Clare,
thanks for the newsy update.

Hmm, winding down time… Most people I’ve accompanied have had a good inkling, but then again some have surprised themselves and the medics by the way things have worked out. Just enjoy your ‘present moments’ and focus on you and what it is you want to be doing.

It is a gorgeous, bright morning here in Glasgow, and I will soon be striding off to church for my one hour of work a week :wink:

Take care, gentle Clare, and may God bless you today and always

(Hope that doesn’t sound too final… someitmes I open my mouth only to change feet…)

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Clare I hope you managed a bit of extra sleep. You are so right it would in someways be good to know timings for everything, but not in others…so we just have to do things as they come and come and come. Fantastic. You will have the glorious sunshine an freezing wind this morning. We had a Barn Dance in the village last night. I was the washer upper for the Bar. It was very successful and did bring in a lot of cash for our community herd of Dexter cattle. They are needed to keep the common a common not a wilderness of brambles. So hey no off to work I now go with mop in tow …Clearup time.
Have a full day of family and friends
Cackles

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Clare, rather than having you traipsing around the country, you say when and assorted bods will descend on you. probably armed with things to eat so you don’t have to do anything. Only as long as y aou promise not to run round spring cleaning, as we can do that when we get there.
And you’ll be able to dismiss your BCC visitors any time you want to and nobody will mind.

I will even volunteer to do your ironing!

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Good morning…think the sun is shining but hubby & I have massively overslept & I haven’t peeked out from behind the curtains yet. Finally I can report that I’m on the mend! Woo hoo… about time too. Thought I’d never get rid of it! Was really getting to me as I was desperate to get back my strength to face the looming chemo treatment.

Hi Clare. Try not to worry if your batteries feel so flat at the moment. Your poor body has a lot to contend with & the cold bug thing just makes it ten times worse! Lots of rest & no wielding the iron is the order of the day x I note that you have an ironing volunteer anyway…lol…ChoccieMuffin! I must confess I enjoy ironing ( but don’t tell anyone) & I’m probably a little closer than CM for ironing duties!

I just realised that I’m only 50 mins drive from Cackles & 27 mins from you (according to a route planning site)! Got to get fully rid of my bugs though before I go scaring people with my presence!

Time to rustle up a very late breakfast…Revcat please remove your foot from your mouth…can’t understand your breakfast order & it’s not polite to speak with your mouth full :wink:

Twinky x x

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Afternoon

Watching the sunny afternoom pass from my bed-
Day two of my 1st cycle of chemo,
Have a lovely pink bucket pinched from my
Chinchilla.
Love all the comments on here - you are keeping me
Going

Claire = one strong positive lady who I admire so much
With all you are facing

We have claire drops in our gardens

Enjoy afternoon

Love rosie x

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Awwww Clare I hope it’s not winding down time just yet… Maybe it’s just getting over your cold time.

Hope you slept well in the new bed.

Sounds like a lovely plan CM for you all to meet at Clare’s.

It’s a glorious day here in Edinburgh, but very cold, but looks lovely when the sun is shining.

Much love
Lulu xxx

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And another hoping that you’re not winding down. Sometimes it’s the little bugs that make us feel the most rubbish and hoping that’s what it is with you at the moment.

Have a lovely day in the sunshine (assuming it’s sunny in Oxfordshire since I’m the next county and it’s sunny here!)

Laurie x

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Yep its sunny here too Laurie, lovely, in fact…I felt horrid when I first got up this morning, slept in till the bells were tolling in the church for the 10 o’clock service. I laid there for a while with the oxygen and then braved the day :o) Another 10 mins on the nebuliser and I was begining to feel human…

So now my breathing is sorted I feel a lot better ty all. Just chilling in front of the tv, I love that 4 in the bed programme, Its just finished and is about competition between 4 B&B owners, its very funny :o)

My lovely daughter is creating lunch for me, not sure what yet… and my XOH is cleaning the kitchen…must have heard mum is coming tomorrow LOL

Hope you all have a lovely day, I may brave the outside if I am not too wobbly this afternoon. Glad you are on the mend Twinky, I think I maybe too. I have my bone juice tomorrow so will get some bloods done which will hopefully tell me whats low and whats not. I think it was only my platelets that were suffering.

Enjoy the sunny day all

Clare xxx

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Hi Clare, so glad you had a nice sleep and have woken feeling a little better - sit back and let your family look after you for today!
It has been a lovely day, and I went for a long walk in the woods this morning with my Springer Lucy, who scared herself when she jumped into the lake in a spot that was a little deeper than usual - she was desperately scrambling to get back out straight away(although she was still in easy reach and we could have grabbed her if needed). The banks of snowdrops along the lanes this morning were looking particularly lovely too.
By the way I nearly dropped my cup of tea when I read Choccies post - was that really an offer to do IRONING?? I always knew Choccie was a great person, but that is beyond kind, given Choccies aversion to it!
Hope you had a lovely lunch - I had surprise guests for lunch as my daughter and 2 year old grandaughter dropped in, so just as well I had cooked plenty of veg. Harriet is talking really well now - a few months ago, she used to just ask “where is your other hair?” (my wig), but this weekend she pointed to the tv and said “where is your big hair Nana, like that lady on the television?” She never did quite get over the shock of seeing me throw my wig off in the car one day about six months ago!
Oh well - time to tackle my pile of ironing as I need to pack to go back to Brussels again tomorrow - hopefully no problems this time! I am hoping to be able to take a break from travelling soon as I think it is aggravating my lymphodeoma.
best wishes
Sue x

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It really has been a lovely day hasn’t it? I hope you managed to get outside to enjoy a bit of sun Clare, staying out of the wind though as there was a bit of a nippy breeze here. Gorgeous in the shelter though.

I had a visit from my cousin and family this afternoon. She’s my second cousin really - her dad and my mum are cousins, brought up together during the war as their mums shared a house while their dads, (our grandads) were away so they feel like brother and sister, hence me feeling as though Holly is a cousin…

Haven’t seen them for such a long time. her two boys are gorgeous - 10 and 4 1/2 and just such lovely lads. They were straight into my son’s huge box of Lego (he’s 18 in April and still loves his Lego!) and didn’t mind at all when our black lab Monty came over and snuffled at their necks then lay down next to them for a snuggle.

We had a lovely afternoon - my cousin and her husband are such easy people to get on with and we had a loooong chat. We’ll be meeting up again in August at another cousin’s wedding so that’ll be really nice.

Sometimes we forget how important it is to have good friends and family you ge ton with. I’m afraid I’m not very good at keeping in touch so really must make more of an effort. So glad so many of your family and friends are all keeping close Clare. As you’ve said, it’s important for your children’s sake as well as for yours.

Let’s hope for more sunshine tomorrow!

Love and hugs,

Jane xxx

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Evening all :o)

Still feeling a bit on the lo side but I think I am turning the corner with the cold symptoms and just back to the really tired feelings. My new bed does help with that though, so much easier to get in and out of…

I’m glad you had a lovely day Jane, with your cousin. Nice to catch up and have a good old gossip. I did manage a little walk today outside, who could resisit the lovely sun.

Sounds lovely your walk with your spinger, I miss going out with mine although she hates the water, so there would be no dramatic rescue for my doggie as she is too scared of the water LOL.
I so agree that CM offer to do IRONING really is above and beyond the call of duty, especially as I have been so mean to her today. Hoping she doesn’t think I would enjoy her discomfort in the splinter department, only here to help :o)

I really haven’t done anything apart from give my feet a good going over, all the hard skin is peeling off in sheets, I have never had such soft skin on my feet. Hoping my feet wont get bad again with the next course of chemo. The only problem I have now is the skin off my body, its so very dry…anything I wear I take off and there are piles of skin flakes to acompany it…YUK! Perhaps its because I don’t shower everyday, I shall ask the BCN if there is a massage i could have at the local hospice, she is meeting me tomorrow when I have my infusion.

Off to bed now as its back to school routine tomorrow and I do like to get up to see Aisling off and sort her lunch out. I know she’s old enough to do it herself but untill she has too, i want to be there to see her off. Jamie isn’t in yet but I am going to not wait up as I usually would but look after myself for a change and have an early night. I bet I wont sleep LOL till he’s in though :o)

Night night all, enjoy a good rest. I think me getting up at 5 is set in stone now…still hoping to break the habit one day though, hope its tonight as I need my energy for tomorrow.

Luv and hugs to all x

Clare xxx

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Glad you are beginning to feel a bit brighter Clare and that you managed to get a little frsh air and sun - it really was a lovely day wasn’t it.
We went to local garden centre a couple of days ago and had a lovely time but managed to resist buying anything just yet as we still need to get greenhouse cleared and pots etc sorted.
CM that REALLY was a very generous offer specially as like me you hate ironing, nearly chocked on my tea so don’t go shocking me too often!
My veins have been getting worse and as I’m planning for my zometa to be a long term treatment I’m having a portacath fitted tomorrow, I know it will make life esier but am a little anxious at the mo, will be glad when it’s done.
Hope you are all wrapped up in bed, specially Clare and Twinky and Rosie as you all need to get your strength, I’m off ther myself now and hope I’ll drop-off quickly, sleep as well as you can girls xxx

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Julie, I love my portacath. Had it fitted before first of 6xFEC and was very grateful to avoid the junkie veins. Mine gets a bit temperamental and doesn’t like to give blood, but takes (I’m still on Herceptin for primaries) so it’s great.

Clare, I have a suggestion, feel free to send me packing.

Tuesday is pancake day. I do a mean pancake (even if I say so myself) so I would be willing to come along and do pancakes for you and whoever wants them, at your place. Anyone coming along would of course do stuff that you need doing while we’re there - I gather someone else has also volunteered for the ironing so I think I might be off the hook! - so it’s just up to you whether you think that would be something you could bear.

It might sound a bit morbid, but in a way it could be our wake for you. At any gathering after a funeral everybody says lovely things but the person who’s died doesn’t get to hear them, so this might be our chance to share with you how much you have given us with this thread and your posts in other places. Weddings are similar - bride and groom have to disappear off half way through the party!

Completely up to you, but it might be fun, and would be no effort for you as long as you agree not to do any housework before anyone arrives.

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CM you beat me to it. I’d been thinking about tossing a few pancakes for Clare. I’ll be alone Tuesday night & they just don’t taste the same if you haven’t laughed making them with someone. I’d gladly do some ironing & of course lots of chin wagging!

Twinky x

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Up to Clare then. Tuesday afternoon provisionally, to allow Clare to slob around beforehand and keel over afterwards, and allow us to get the iron and hoover and rubber gloves out, whatever needs to be done. Push the boat out, you can even say “here’s a paintbrush, get going” if that’s what you feel needs doing!

Clare, please tell me if I’m being OTT here, but you have given so much to so many since you started this thread it would be good for everyone (you most importantly) to have some laughs and giggles - and pancakes! - while the Claredrops are still around, and you can have things done for you by people who love you, even if we’ve never met you.