I have to say that when I saw the tv advert for this week’s second instalment of Jade’s wedding when she herself appeared at the end in her wedding dress and said something along the lines of
“read about the happiest day of my life”
I felt that things were now wrong. How could it be the happiest day of her life? Perhaps true in the life that she now has rather than what she would have planned as her happiest day had she not had this death sentance hanging over her but the choice of words made me feel a bit sick. I decided that I wouldn’t buy the magazine as for the first time I truly felt the ugliness of the media coverage (as others have done with other things in this story but for me that truly brought it home and it felt very wrong).
i think the saddest thing is that she said that was the happiest day of her life, surely giving birth to those two boys should have been the happiest day of her life. just a thought
Alisonxxx
The thing I am uncomfortable with regarding the media coverage is that as said by others before me here, it highlights the risk of death by cancer to our nearest and dearest. My 11yr old daughter is more than aware now, despite my sensitive handling of our cancer talks, that just by going into the newagents or switching on the tv, she is bombarded with the news that mummies die from cancer. I feel as if all my positive attitudes are being underminded from an external source that is outwith my control.
I know Jade wants to provide for her children financially, but why cant she and the media respect that others do for theirs too and not only financially but in emotional support and confidence in their futures. Is her financial gain to be sought at any cost, by that I mean insensitivity to other cancer patients and their families? I dont have this kind of input into other people’s lives, nor would I want it, its not fair and somewhat insensitive to the loved ones of the rest of us.
I dont want cancer in my face every day from the media, I deal with it already in my life!
I,as others feel for Jade,but resent the fact that although I have a good salary I am now struggling financially due to my illness.I do not have the luxury of the press to highlight my woes.She was once where the rest of us are now,but because she was chosen to be a reality tv star her path altered.I am a great believer in fete so perhaps she was meant to be where she was to provide for her sons future prospects.If we could be given an insight to our destiny,what would that achieve? We are all here for a reason,but for some it becomes more appparent,so my message is - - live life
I think this thread contains some very valid points regarding the Jade Goody ‘story’ and her perhaps being ill-advised. I agree with her making money to secure her sons’ future in the only way she knows how and I understand her publicist and friend has now advised her that she has the money in place for that.
I am so sorry for her predicament as I am for any other people with terminal cancer.
What I don’t like is why people have to criticise her for things beyond her control such as the recent post regarding how she was publicly told about her illness in the big brother house. I read an interview in a magazine with Jade a few weeks later in which she said she would not have gone if she had any idea that she was so ill and that she had no idea they had tested for cancer.
Also, why criticise her for saying her wedding was the best day of her life rather than the days her children were born? She isn’t very well educated and her total love and commitment to her children is born out in every aspect of her behaviour. Whatever else she is, she is a brilliant mum. She has had a harsh life and dreamt of the day she would have a cinderella type wedding, as a lot of girls do, and I’m sure she just tried to express how wonderfully happy it made her. She’s had a few rough years and probably meant it was ONE of the happiest days of her life.
I do feel for people on here who are terminally ill and struggling emotionally and financially and it would be great if a magic wand could be waved to secure the future for your children too. I know if I was in that position I would just feel glad for Jade that she doesn’t have to suffer financially on top of her other problems. She is suffering and suffered far more than most people ever do in their lifetimes.
Hi Suzanne,
Its not that I was trying to criticize her for saying it was the happiest day of her life (though I am sure she dreamed of her dream wedding being somewhat different and I suppose thats what I meant in that respect and the fact that her situation is so sad that it seemed odd that she was saying that day was the happiest of her life when so much of it at the moment is filled with pain and sadness).
What I was trying to say was it was the “advert” she did for the issue of OK standing bald in her wedding dress saying “read my story” that made me feel uncomfortable. I am not sure why its just that perhaps whilst I have known she has given consent to all the coverage so far it didn’t bother me as much as it did seeing her “advertise” the magazine. I can’t even explain why, it just did.
I agree with Suzanne…many women describe their wedding as the happiest day of their life. I never did a wedding myself but I know from my feelings having recently done a very unweddingy very private, 5 guest civil partnership that making that legal for life commitment when you are terminally ill is special.
I change my thoughst all the time on the Jade Goody story. Have written a bit about it in my blog…address on profile.
Jane
Oh Jane how beautiful you are such a romantic.
We got married 2 weeks after my secondary, Ian had always said he would never marry and never wanted children, he has been a really wonderful husband to me and dad to my 2 girls and they are so grateful for the care and devotion he has bestowed upon me. He is also a real cool caring granddad. Our wedding day was one of the happiest in our life but we are still having them. Jade won’t be as lucky. I understand what she is doing could upset others with cancer and children and I am sure Max will have had the chat to her but Jade has always done what she wants the way she wants.
Love Debsxxx
I also had mixed feelings about Jade’s decision to carry on in the public eye, but now I think she’s doing all cancer sufferers a favour.
There have been quite a few famous people writing very beautifully and eloquently about their experiences of terminal cancer. Others have moved quietly off stage to spend their time in private. Jade has done neither; she is, I would think, incapable of the first and has only been financially successful in living her life publicly. I don’t think she is stupid but she is shockingly uneducated and lacks many skills.
However, what she has done is to rant and howl about this abomination. Her raw grief for her future as a mother is genuinely heart wrenching and must echo so many young parents’ agony. Yes she’s got money and many in her position haven’t but is that what’s important now? What I think is important and the favour she is doing is that she is expressing the fears and agonies of the majority. Her inarticulacy, her raging against the “dying of the light” is no sanitised, perfect death and the harsh reality portrayed is the best legacy she leaves to us all.
Daily we struggle with a world that doesn’t want to face reality or confront the truth about cancer and the death it brings. Her honesty has been the really shocking issue to the non-cancer world while we listen and nod in empathy as she struggles with what we face or know we may yet face.
While we all acknowledge that there is no one “right” way of dealing with cancer and death, ironically, Jade the Reality TV star has upset many by being truly real at the end.
Great post Alloway. Like you think a lot of the reality of many cancer deaths is sanitised…a collective social deceit.
Jane
Just heard about that lady they have arrested who was apparently beside jade Goody’s bed at the Royal Marsden with a hammer, how very awful for that poor girl, bad enough being really poorly without having someone threatening you with a hammer, hope they really throw the book at this woman, what is this country coming to?
Alisonxxx
I’m finding it hard to believe that story. There are private wards on different floors of the building which you need to be buzzed into and then present at reception, so I don’t see how “anybody” would be allowed into the ward in the first instance.
I had a thought the other day about all this…I agree with you all. Jade is doing what she sees is the right thing to secure her children’s future with very little time to make a decision based on the moral issues or indeed puclic opinion.
I also felt uncomfortable when I saw that advert, I can’t explain why, I just did, but equally, I feel uncomfortable at how shallow people seem sometimes, me included! I never buy any of the magazines or low life papers that sensationalise any news, but I picked a copy that was on a table at our local the other night. I flicked through it and found myself at Jades wedding and flicked a bit more…I glanced up, hoping that no body saw me looking at this desperate young woman, trying to read her thoughts. I hoped that nobody saw my embarrassment as I fell into the mass, of what I have always decribed as the media wolves. Members of the public who lap up all the trash and over rated stories about all sorts of unfortunate or fortunate souls all over the world.
I didn’t read any of the article just gawped at the pictures, feeling very sorry for her and her family and being thankful that, it isn’t me.
None of us have the right to judge, as we all well know that until you are faced with such life changing or life theatening news, your opinions can and often do, change dramatically. I wrote a little ditty once…years before I had BC, it goes like this:
“Don’t worry about the future - when the time comes, the decisions and choices you make will be right for the present.”
It’s just a way for me to have no regrets…I hope Jade has none and truly wish her peace.
Scarlet.
Scarlet, your post echoed my feelings on the advert and how I’ve sometimes felt reading about Jade and I agree with your ditty. You make a choice on what you have available to you at the time and there is no point in having regrets, you just have to do the best you can at the time.
I am relieved to see that Max Clifford has said that the christening was the last public thing Jade will be doing (as I am guessing she isn’t going to be well enough to talk to Piers Morgan) and pleased that she may be going home from hospital to spend some time with her family.
May she be as pain free and comfortable as possible.
I just felt I had to post having watched Jade’s wedding on TV the last two nights.
I take back what I said about her comments about it being the happiest day of her life. It was beautiful and elegant, and so was she and she certainly seemed to have a wonderful day.
I still feel it was unnecessary and I did feel uncomfortable with her “advertising” OK’s coverage on TV but having watched the wedding I just wanted to say that I do believe it was, as she said “the happiest day of my life”.
I shed a tear or two as it was very poignant but my overwhelming feeling was how beautiful she looked and how I was glad that she was able to have such a wonderful day to treasure.
I watched it too and found it very moving. She looked very happy, which was the most important thing at the end of the day.
The thing is young girls don’t get smear tests. I was suprised that they don’t call women for them until they are over 25yrs old. This changed a few years ago.
I think i am right in saying in most cases (not all) cervical cancer is slow growing. So Jade would probaly have had abnormal cells for years.
Given girls start having sex at a younger age and the pill is also widely available it seems odd not to do smears til 25.I am sure there is some research thats been done, or is it money saving?
Rx
When I first approached my GP about family planning over 30 years ago,aged 20, I was immediately sent for a cervical smear test. When I changed family planning clinic a few years later, I was given another cervical smear test. I was also given one after the birth of each of my 3 children, routinely at my post natel exam. My eldest daughter who is 25, has never had a smear test. Why has screening been so reduced?.
Kelley
Kelley
I agree with you.I am 47 and was led to believe that a smear test should be done as soon as you are sexually active.I was married in’83,when I was 22, and my son born in '85,I had regular smears by then.My daughter is 20 now ,has not had one,I was diagnosed with BC 18 months ago,my 37 year old niece diagnosed 2 months ago with BC.Have been told she is not in criteria for high risk.Am going to takt her for genetic screening
hi everyone,
there is a campaign to reintroduce screening for women under 25 a rally is being held outside Parliament next week. A review has already started and it looks probable they will bring it back so fingers crossed. We can then all start nagging our young female family members to get it done. Sadly due to Jades circumstances they may take more notice.
Love Debsxxx