It certainly is a rollercoaster ride and not one I would like to ever go on again
Hope those of you with school age kids got them back ok? My boys are 24 and 20 so those days are well behind me and are a great support through this
I also feel happy that I am over half way now with chemo, but still have the possibility of double masectomy to look forward too and pembro for about 6 months! I have also been offered Zoledronic Acid which I am holding off for now due to horrendous side effects with only 4 to 8% chance of success according to my onco?? Is anyone else already on this or been offered it? Its usually for those post-menopause.
Hope all your treatments go well this week soon these days will be behind us xxx
Just catching up with everyones posts and just wanted to send you a great big virtual hug you can always have a big belated celebration for your birthday and beating this.
Just been up to hospital to have bloods done ready for treatment fri. Because Iām starting docetaxel they gave me dexamethasone to start tomorrow for 3 days. Fingers crossed it all goes well. Have heard a few of you ladies had a bad time on this drug. Got my youngest back at school and already had to get in touch with school as hes having a bad time. Glad its his last year at high school. Take good care of yourselves ladies xxxxx
Hi everyone! Had my third cycle of Docetaxel and carboplatin today along with Herceptin injectionā¦ half way there now which i am celebrating as its a milestone for me
How are you all doing? Jemma
Itās a slog isnāt it
My third and last lot of EC on Friday then 3 lots of Doxetactel every 3 weeks.
My positive pants have been removed and replaced with fed up pants this week, sounds like weāre all feeling similar!
Virtual hugs to all
Itās ok to have a bad dayā¦ and I am feeling just the same as you ladies this week.
Itās tough, we are mid-way through chemo, itās dragging on, friends and family are getting on with life.
For me the reality of āhavingā cancer is just sinking in. I find myself crying for no real reason, like when I was first diagnosed, its a feeling of being overwhelmed by the enormity of it all!
And for the first time since the diagnosis, a bit of āwhy me?ā Crept in.
But as the saying goes, itās ok to have a bad day, but donāt unpack and leave it there.
Stay strong ladies, dig deep, as you have got this. Together we are beating cancer. One day at a time xxx
Hi all
How strange that itās been a bad week for most of us. I ended up crying at my neighbourās house because they arenāt changing me to nab-paclitaxel but keeping me on paclitaxel with a reduced dose.
I donāt know why itās upsettimg me so much- a mixture of frustration and fear, I think.
Iām posting about it because it illustrates how nothing is certain and it sometimes feels like even the experts are wrong-footed at times.
So back in today for more pac/carbo- my bag is packed in case i end up staying overnight but Iām really hoping I can just get this set of infusions done without any more drama (hahaha).
Wishing you all a peaceful Thursday!!
Clare xx
I have 3 more chemos - Iāve had 5 so over halfway. Does anyone else find themselves getting less positive as treatment goes on? I will have radiotherapy after chemo but at the beginning I was full of positivity. Now Iām getting closer to the end Iām worried about my mortality / scans / affectiveness of the chemo etc. why now? Iām overthinking every chemo symptom as a spread of the cancer. Is this happening to anyone else?
Morning all. @idcand49 i did have to take 6 steroids 1 hour before treatment on EC alongside 1 anti sickness. But this different steroid ive been told to take for 3 days from today. It is weird we all seem to be a bit flat. Everyone is always telling me im amazing how strong i am and just carrying on as normal. Most of the time i am just getting on with it but thereās always that heavy feeling there. Thinking what if? I try to be normal whatever normal is these dayās. But the sinking feeling is always lurking. I am lucky compared to a lot of you lovely ladies. Ive already had my op- lumpectomy and been told all this treatment is just to make sure its gone (tnc) but its a scary time. But talking on here really does really help. Thank you. Stay strong xxx
I get this completely I feel the same.
Iāve had lots of realisation over the last week about the reality of my treatment.
I thought I was finished after the 9 weekly doses of pax which I start next week ā¦ā¦ but no as Iām triple positive the āphesgoā injections I am also starting next week that are every 3 weeks go on for a yearā¦ā¦ Iāll still have no hair and still be immunosuppressed! It feels like a huge mountain to climb and life is just on hold.
I then read something about diet and realised that I was craving all the things that are really bad for me ā¦ā¦
Lots of questions for the consultant tomorrow to get my head back in the right positive place!
I havenāt been on for a couple of days as feeling a bit low and just realised everyone seems to be feeling the same. I had oncologist appointment Tuesday which should have been positive as the 2 tumours & node have shrunk but he told be there were also a number of borderline nodes in the first ultrasound which hadnāt been mentioned. Sometime it feels one step forward one step back. Plus sent off genetic testing this week which upset me a bit.
I can relate to not feeling like a warrior or brave. 2 of my kids have additional needs so trying to protect them by being upbeat buts its not how I am feeling this week.
On the bright side youngest starts college next week so I will have a bit more of a break. For those of you with college/school children are you letting the school know?
Good luck to everyone with your treatments, there seem to be a lot of of changes going on.
@booklover1 sorry you are feeling down this week too. As you say, we are all feeling a bit flat!
The rain doesnāt help.
I had chemo treatment today, my last of cycle 3. I have the oncologist meeting next week, the ultrasound showed a further reduction in size.
I have told the childrenās schools. I want them to offer support if needed, but also if the kids want it to be a place they donāt need to think about cancer then thatās good too! I guess you know the school and kids best. I emailed them and they have been good and have phoned me directly.
Thanks for school advice @bex1 my daughter is starting a new college (much bigger than her old school where I knew the staff) so uncertain how it will be handled. I am sure they will be discrete and it will be good if they know in case she needs some supportā¦There is a pastoral deparment so might drop them a linex
Iām beginning to wonder if there is a connection between when we started in summer and the autumn weather which is becoming apparent and many of us are āonlyā half way through chemo and more to come afterwards? Felt like a drag getting into colder and damper weather today and definitely a crash tired day so slept a lot.
Iām trying to look on the up side and mine is that it will be cold enough to start wearing my wig! Been a real bind to be too hot for anything more than a chemo cap for me (probably combined with chemical menopause has had me on fire!), so trying some hair might be good for me, especially now the eyelashes and eyebrows are increasingly sparse.
Had a phone call today, my prosthetic is ready for collection so Iāll pop to hospital tomorrow to collect. Going to be very very strange to have a boob for my right arm to ānegotiateā again. Blimey, by Saturday I could look ānormalā for the first time in 3+ months . Full set of tits and hair . Trying hard now to keep āupā and DO things like just popping out for a bite to eat, even if I canāt eat it. Planning to do something that feels like normal life this weekend - if I donāt feel up to it, at least the thought and plan was there. I think my partner needs this as much as anything.
Yes I think you might be right, maybe the change of season doesnāt help.
Your comment about tits and hair made me laugh. Must say for the first time today I was glad for the wig for some warmth. Also thought itās going to be easier to cover the hair/lack of, as we approach cooler weather
Weāve got to look for the positives in our current situations xx
Hi hun. I had a meeting with school early days and the were really supportive. Let all my sons teachers know a little but no details but this helped as he started opening up to teachers and telling me as he wasnāt sure if it was ok to tell them bless him hes 15 and very sensitive. So any extra support at school was helpful. Hope you are getting the support you need xx
soon these days will be behind us xxx
you can always have a big belated celebration for your birthday and beating this. 
well meaning or not. Insensitive 
xxx
with your treatments, there seem to be a lot of of changes going on.
