Wow, i bet your head was spinning. Ive got my oncologists appointment on sat before my 5th session the following Friday. 2nd of 3 Doxetactel. Which im dreading now i know what to expect. Its by phone so if they start talking radio therapy im sure it will go over my head. Its a long way for you to travel. Mine would be in Sheffield maybe 40 mins away. Body hair well havent lost anywhere altogether just thined out although havent had to shave underarms for a while. Started to wear bandanas more now as its easier than to try and disguise bold patches and the less l have to mess with my hair the better. Take care xx
Hi all
The sea swimming was excellent. I felt so alive but it meant that i had a bad night thinking about cancer.
I donāt know where i am in my treatment or how my tumours are doing. I feel out of the loop.
I meet the new oncologist next week after my eye appt. Iām hoping the eye clinic will say yes, you can have chemo now and it will all start again. Funny to be wishing for chemo but i want it over with.
Does anyone struggle with well meaning relatives who refuse to acknowledge cancer because of the need to ābe positiveā? Not my adult children, but some of my siblings. Iām not asking them to consider the worse, Iām just saying thereās no guarantees with cancer- it comes back for various reasons or never goes awayā¦ My brother says because Iām fit and healthy, Iāll be absolutely fine. I know this is probably his way of coping but it diminishes how i feel and infuriates meā¦
Xx
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Hi when did you start to suffer with your eyes I am struggling at the moment my eyes are leaky and I feel like I can not see as well as pre chemo (bad anyway varifocals just feels worse) were you told to go to opticians or did you just go sorry for all the questions take care you really are having a bad time of it all makes my visit with oncologist seem silly lol xxxxx
@lilo1973 my eyes are also giving me a few problems . They have been leaky and give me blurred vision , when I spoke to my oncologist he said to try and bear with it till end of chemo and it should sort itself out - if not to go to optician then .
Since then I have had an infection in the lid and itās been sticky in the mornings especially. Saw GP and has given me some antibiotic ointment - which has started to improve it . Also said as long as itās just blurriness not double vision and no pain in eye itself it should clear .
But also varifocals - mine are constantly being moved while I try to read stuff .
Hope you get sorted .
I am looking forward to Christmas as I wonāt have a pic line in! I may have a pic line party 
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Hi both
Thats interesting about your eyes. Mine came on all of a sudden when i was in hospital- i think my blood pressure crashed. Theyve given me mold drops but whenw i looked it up in line, it said 4-6 weeks.
But they checked my bllods for inflammtiion due to pembrolizmabā¦are either of tou taking that? Other drugs might also affect vision.
Im beginning to think the drugs we take have ao many short term side effects, the medics arent that fussed about issues that might go away eventually.
Xx
Yes i know what you mean. Everyone thinking how positive i am when im not really but how can i say. Im thinking it will come back and probably finish me off at some point in the future. No one wants to hear that and i dont blame them. Id probably be the same. But its just masking the way i really feel. Like its been said on here. Were not brave as we have no choice but to deal with this. I wouldnāt want to hurt my family any more than they already are. So i can shelve how i really feel as it doesnāt help me either if im worried all the time. Whats the saying. Fake it till you make it. That will do for now. Good night girls. Have a lovely weekend xxxx
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Me too! I feel awful wishing time away but thatās exactly what Iām doing ā¦. 7 more weekly treatments and 5 blasts of radiotherapy and then Iām going to do a happy dance.
Iāve still got injections for a year every 3 weeks for the HER2 and hormone therapy but it feels like the major hurdles will be over!
Roll on 2026
Hello,
I was in a bit of a state yesterday as I was having my first Doxetacel chemotherapy after three EC and it felt like starting all over again. But it was fine and the dose of steroids beforehand seemed to give me a boost although I didnāt sleep well last night. Obviously itās just day one so Iāll see how the side effects go but am feeling a lot calmer today. Take care.
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Thatās really encouraging to hear @kmel1 , Iām just behind you, got 1st docetaxel on Tues and it all just seems a bit overwhelming again the not knowing how itās going to be, am alternating between being all psyched up to absolutely terrified!
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I will be thinking of you, and just to say, I couldnāt get my heart rate below 107 yesterday, so I was also terrified, even though my head was trying to be calm. M
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Thank you, it is scary, but so comforting to know that people on here get how we feel. I hope you continue on ok over the next few days, take care xx
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@louc Iāve got maybe one or two pax left and then 4 EC. Dreading the EC starting as itās new (@kmel1 - my heart rate was over 100 for like four hours the evening after chemo on Thursday - and I take beta blockers!)
I have 15 sessions of radio after this chemo. I do wonder how they work it out. These are all the questions that keep me up at night when I hear of all the different treatments everyone gets. 
Xxxx
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Sorry for the silence. Had a great couple of weeks so worked as much as I could. Yes I have the injections for 5 days. I have nab taxal, carbo and penbro all on the same day. Iāve just had my third treatment but spent a night in A and E. I had a temp of 41 and a rash. Back home. Possibly all put in to quickly with just one saline bag. Iāve had two successful treatment but on a slower flow rate so hope that donāt change my plan for the last round of this. Maybe slow it down and some antihistamines.
I have real joint pain in my pelvis so lots of warm baths .
Hope you are doing ok. Looking forward to the mid scan at the end of Oct before I start EC and Pembro.
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How strange that mine was the other way round 3 x EC and now 9 of PAC. Then just 5 sessions of radio!
Iām just so exhausted now!
Sending hugs to you all x
@zaran I have definitely been having healthy cries this week, lol, like most days.
I thought when the chemo part ended (although it is technically in me til 3 Oct) I assumed I would be over the moon and full of positivity.
I feel kind of physically beaten and fatigued at the drop of a hat. So not celebrating is not on my radar. The old me would have used the end of treatment as an excuse for a jolly/toast/special mealā¦ I feel weirdly deflated.
@debi1 hope your mom is feeling better. Any news on when you can see her?
@cf640 what I would do to get full immersed in sea water! It must have felt liberating.
@bibi @lilo1973 ditto re blurry eyes (well my right eye more so) it started this week so guess it is another side effect to ride out.
@lilo1973 I also had my radio chat, 15 sessions on the whole breast, axilla (I am fancy now I know the medical term for the armpit area 
) and the collarbone. I wasnāt expecting the 3rd area but it seems thorough as I did have some cells sneak into a node.
I questioned why I wasnāt being given āthe boostsā and turns out it is meant for patients 49 yrs and under or with a certain grade/type of tumour. I was 49 when I was diagnosed and turned 50 literally last week and for some reason I started blubbering how scared I was of a local recurrence, how I had just gone through the hell of chemo and to have this taken away since I was move the next age bracket by days didnāt seem right ā and think I even said my cancer didnāt know I turned 50 and I should have started radio earlier but my 2nd surgery delayed chemo ā¦etc
I was a bit mortified as I have NEVER cried in front of my drs. Not since day 1. Think I have reached my āhold it inā limit.
In any event, it all got very surreal with tissues and being consoled by another dr (a sr consultant who had come into the appt to explain why the boost wouldnāt be added to my plan) and next thing he agrees I had just missed the age limit & he was going to make an exception.
So, radio will be 15 + 3-4 boosts (basically 4 weeks). It will land over the half term so it will be yet another school break interrupted but the kiddos are fine with it they said. I will try and do a cinema trip and a meal out or something. They have been very resilient and just wish I could do more with them when they are not in school.
@louc I am wishing this year away too. 2025 will still have monthly injections and twice yearly bone infusions but I am at the stage where that seems āeasyā.
@kmel1 hope Docetaxel is being kind to you and the side effects are manageable. It has made my heart rate absolutely bananas! I was told that was ānormalā but to watch out for breathlessness (never had this).
@loobyloo1 hope the temp has settled and the joint pain too. I am taking antihistamines now all the time and my joints are less achy.
Hope everyone is having a good Saturday.
Canāt believe we are hitting the last full week of Sep. I feel like I have lived a hundred lives since Feb.
x
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Hiya. Thanks for asking. Havent seen mum this week. But my sister has and said it looks like her rash has dried up so l think ive been cautious enough and will visit her in the next couple of days. Shes feeling a bit better so fingers crossed shes over the worst. I had a phone appointment with my oncologists to see how i was after my first Doxetactel. Told him I was bed with muscle and bone pain he asked how long it lasted which was about a week. Anyway he said my next appointment will be face to face as we will talk about radio therapy. Take care xxx
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Happy Sunday, anti-cancer warriors
Thatās what this thread reads like- a lot of resilience, strength, powering on through the worry, pain, side effects. Iām so glad Iām in such excellent company.
@idcand49 sounds like you did the right thing to get listened to- sometime logic doesnāt work with medics!!
I still canāt see to drive but i have a kind friend who is taking me to my eye appt, oncology and chemo this week.
I phoned Macmillian nurses, i am terrified of chemo now. The one I spoke to was wonderful and pragmatic. Take the drugs, take comfort items from home, take different food, take a magazine, get them to check you before you leave, get a lift. Talk to the oncologist so she understands. Well, Iāll try.
Meanwhile my brother came down for a short visit and had a big argument with my 30 year old son, who lives with me and (I suspect), thinks i might die on him after seeing me in ICU. They looked like they were going to punch each other at one point. Another side effect of cancer, do you think? Heightened emotions? This brother is the one who pretends thereās nothing much wrong with me and my son is the opposite- almost too involved.
Any advice/comments appreciated! I did text my brother but think Iāll leave it now as he thinks he didnāt do anything out of order but i was there and think he was criticising my son for the state of MY house.I told my brother my house, my problem. None of his business. I hope this isnāt too garbledā¦xx
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@cf640 cancer reminds me of being pregnant / having my first baby
Everyone has an opinion on what you should / shouldnāt do & what others should be doing to help.
Sounds like the standoff btw your son & brother is a bit of this.
But youāre in the middle and this is the last thing you need on your mind.
Not sure how to help you navigate this but I would use today for space to recharge & pause on worrying how anyone else is feeling but you.
A diagnosis in my experience does heighten emotions but the no 1 person to look after, is you. Especially during treatment.
Spkg of which good luck when chatting to your onco about being petrified of chemo. It hasnāt been easy & damn right scary that the meds given to kill your cancer cells is also putting you in hospital. I would keep asking for more solutions, is it switching drugs, pre empting the more harmful side effects with better drugs etc
My fingers and toes are crossed for you that the next one is not as savage on the body
Xx
Thank you @idcand49.
Iāll have a quiet day today. I took the dog for a wet walk and got a newspaper. And stay away from tension as much as I can!! Maybe have a roast dinnerā¦Thank you for your kind words and sound advice xx
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